I mutely gape at her, not trusting my own body and its turmoil. I'm more worried that I'm about to throw up over all of us in some grossly accurate depiction of The Exorcist.
"Do you want to sit?" Kane asks, his raspy voice rumbling from his chest, and I finally look away from Mia and into his vulnerable eyes.
"No." I gulp.
"Where do I start?" Mia asks, and I know she isn't talking to me. How the heck would I know where to start; I'm having a hard enough time just trying to remember how to breathe.
"Just start from the beginning, Mees. You know you can trust her with all of it."
I don't take my eyes from his, the wretchedness making my already violent nerves spiral widely. He doesn't just look torn. He looks like just the thought of hearing what she has to say is going to tear him up a lot more than it will me. How is that even possible?
"Okay," she says softly, and I see her move to sit on the couch.
Movement on the other end of the couch tells me that Kole hasn't left either. I don't look away from Kane because I know that whatever is said now, what is between us and trying to salvage it is more important than who is witnessing it. Plus, it's probably not as if Kole is unaware. Right?
"Kane and I had just wrapped on a film that we had been working on together. I'm sure you know the movie, even though it isn't important, but it was a big deal because we hadn't worked together for almost five years. Like the First Time was a fun movie for us, but it was more like a reunion because it was the first time that Kole had also been cast with us. This time, Kole beat Kane for the lead, which was pretty hilarious."
Kole lets out a low burst of hilarity at the memory, but Kane just keeps searching my eyes. His troubled gaze darkening with each word that Mia speaks.
"The wrap party was pretty wild. Not indecent or anything, but the liquor was flowing and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a single sober person in the house. The whole Masters family was there, even though Christian and Becca left before things got crazy. I don't remember where Kole went, but by the time I realized I had too much to drink, I was past the point of rational thought."
Oh, God. I'm really going to be sick. My eyes widen, and Kane's fill with helpless sympathy as trepidation overcomes me.
"It's funny what you remember when faced with something traumatic. To me, each moment is burned into my brain, but even with the violent end to my night, I don't regret it."
Her words register, and I pull back in confusion. I finally look from Kane and meet her sad eyes, her hand rubbing absentmindedly against her abdomen.
"He acted like he didn't even remember," she continues, almost to herself. I see Kole's body tighten, and he looks over at her in shock. "I didn't know what to do, but I knew that Kane would protect me and help me through it. Regardless of how much it killed him."
"What?" I gasp. Does she mean? No. There is no way the Kane I know is capable of something like that.
She wipes her eyes and looks from the spot she had been blindly staring into and locks eyes with me. A sad, vulnerable smile lifts her lips, almost like an apology before she speaks the words.
"A month after that night, I sat on the floor and cried as Kane held me. The trust of that night held in his hand as he looked at the positive pregnancy test. It was then that I begged him and selfishly took his promise of silence, using it to help me find a way to come to terms with my new future."
"What the fuck," Kole harshly whispers.
I look from Mia and back to Kane. The pain is still present, but a fire of rage starts to build behind it.
"He kept my secret not only because I was asking him to help and shield me, but also because I knew that if anyone felt the same protectiveness I do toward my son, it would be Kane. He would have done that even if my child didn't share his blood."
"Oh my God," I sob, the sound coming out like a low whine.
"You son of a bitch," Kole seethes.
"Fuck," Kane bellows and turns his face from mine to narrow his eyes at Mia.
There's a moment of silence and each thud of my heart feels like it's slowly breaking.
"Oh, oh! No. Shit. I didn't mean it like that," she rushes, and my tear-filled eyes move from Kane's chest and I look over at her. "The baby isn't Kane's."
"What?" I meekly question, the pain in my chest and stomach almost making me want to pass out.
"The fuck, Mia!" Kole yells over me.
"It's Kyle's. The baby is Kyle's." She looks from Kole with a wince before glancing toward me, her eyes brimming with tears. "I'm so sorry, Willow. I never should have asked him to keep it from you, but I selfishly let the knowledge that he was the only one who knew my son was conceived by a man who drunkenly took advantage of my inebriated state make me feel better. A married man who blamed me for the life he helped to create and wanted me to 'take care of it.' There are so many lives that will never be the same now, but it was safer for us to let the world assume it was Kane's than rip open everyone's lives and have my son, their nephew, be born with a black mark against him. I can never tell you how sorry I am for ever letting it get this far when I should have been strong enough to fight this without involving Kane."
My fists loosen against his shirt, and for the first time since he walked in the room, I start to pull from his embrace. I know he's taking my retreat the wrong way because he curses under his breath and his arms let go of my body to cup my face, bringing my attention back to his.
"God, Willow. I'm so sorry. Please, baby, don't pull away." He presses his lips to mine and I return the kiss, but I pull back and step back. "I should have told you, and you will never know how much I regret not making sure that this talk happened weeks ago, but I wasn't keeping it from you to hurt you."
"No," I start, and he snaps his mouth shut. Panic blazes brightly as his eyes plead with me not to pull away. "Stop, Kane." I move from his reach completely and walk over to Mia. A woman who I had always thought was living the perfect life. One I envied from afar and prayed to have just a sliver of her fearless confidence now sits before me looking like the weak, fearful, depressed woman that I had been when I was making those prayers. I know what she feels. Maybe not in the same capacity, but I know what it's like to live a life full of anxiety just thinking about the future. Not being able to see a single ounce of safety to help ease those feelings.
Until I learned what it was like to truly believe in myself.
But I also know I would have done the same thing in her shoes and reached out to hold on to anything that helped me function.
I recently learned I was the person who could have helped myself all along.
I sit down and reach out to pull her into my arms and we both sit there silently offering the other person something different. I'm sure for her this is her way of building the bridge of forgiveness that I needed to walk across in order to get to the future Kane was promising. I'm thankful for her ability to tell me her story even though I know that wasn't easy. For her to fearlessly trust I won't use it against her.
But for me, this embrace is a lot more than just forgiving her, Kane, and the impossible situation that almost ruined us. This is about me trying to show her that no matter how lonely she feels at her bottom, she will never be alone. There is always someone there to help you climb back up to your feet. It's a lesson that sometimes people never learn. I was lucky enough to have my own savior help me find the strength I needed to see my own worth, so I can only hope I'm able to give a little of that to Mia.
THE HEAVINESS AROUND US CONTINUED when I let my arms fall from Mia. She looked so lost and frightened that I wanted nothing more than to make everything better for her.
I glance around the room, examining Kole's pained face for a beat before I look over at the man who has held the weight of the world on his shoulders while keeping this secret. And he held the burden of Mia's pain knowing he could have very well lost his own happiness in the process. It amazes me just how selfless this man is. He was willing--is willing--to put up with the lies and rumors in
order to protect his family. And that's just what this is, his family. Mia might not be a Masters by blood, but I see now that she has always been like a sister to him. Even if this baby wasn't Kyle's, I feel confident that Kane would have done the exact thing.
My strong and altruistic man. I had feared the worst, but the reality was so much more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. Not for me, but for Mia. I don't blame Kane for feeling the need to hold on to his promise, regardless of the fact that his word means so much to him because this was so much bigger than just a pregnant friend.
This secret can ruin so many lives.
And the weight of it has broken the woman held captive in the center of the storm. She may have been a confident woman at one point, but the one breaking down in front of me is at the bottom of her barrel. A place I know all too well is the worst kind of living hell to be trapped in.
"I promise, I'll find a way to fix this," Mia sobs, interrupting my thoughts. "I won't let this tear you guys apart."
Her words spark an idea that had been pushing its way to the forefront of my mind since this horrible story began to unfold. One that now, as I close my eyes and try to keep it together for Mia's sake, I feel the steady resolve of my decision take root.
This is an unfathomable situation facing us all. The repercussions of our choices from this moment on will shape the path of all of our lives, but the most important one of all being the innocent child who deserves more than having its existence turning into a public mockery of shame that will always haunt him his whole life. Mia didn't ask for this, and while I have no doubt that she loves her unborn son, she has no idea how to shield him from the monsters of the world. Monsters that I know firsthand will do nothing but make sure you never feel an ounce of happiness. Until recently, I had been terrified of them, but now I feel a power I never knew possible when I think about being able to keep that pain from touching someone else.
"No, Mia." I reach out and hold her hand in mine. The second her cold and clammy skin touches mine, my decision to fight for someone else becomes an all-consuming kind of determination. "You have nothing to fix."
Her sobs grow, and I take my hand from hers to pull her to me, her head falling to my chest as she cries. Huge, body-jolting sobs, which have pinpricks of emotion pushing up my throat, burning my nose, and stinging my eyes. I take a deep swallow, pushing through that emotion, and attempt to calm myself in order to take on the hardship that is slowly killing this woman.
Kole and Kane share a heated stare, both looking powerless and unsure of how to proceed. This is so much more than not knowing how to soothe a woman. These men aren't just watching someone they care about vulnerably break. If I had to guess, they're in just as much pain right now. Kole, having just found out about the truth behind Mia's pregnancy and his older brother's role in it, might not have the magnitude of emotions that I'm sure Kane has. Yet. But I have no doubt they will hit. I know that Kane is hurting for Mia, having just relived this through her words, but he's been searching my eyes since he arrived. His expression is one of confused anxiety and pleading desperation as he tries to gauge my thoughts in order to figure out what this new truth means for us.
I look away from the Masters men and bend my head so that Mia can hear me over her cries. "I can't imagine what you've been going through, Mia. I know that it wasn't easy to tell me, but thank you for trusting me with this. You have my promise that your secret is safe with me."
I see Kane's head bows and his shoulders slump. I wish I could go to him, but he needs to understand that I'm able to handle this without him. Regardless of how badly I want his arms and protection to shield me, I know now that I'm stronger than I had ever imagined. I need him to see that in order to believe what I'm about to say. To have no doubt that I'm now the one who's ready to take someone else's metaphorical hand and help guide her to a beautiful future.
Just as he did for me.
"We're not telling anyone," I tell the room with conviction.
Mia gasps and both Kane and Kole look over at me with disbelief.
"Willow, you don't know what you're saying," Kole responds, breaking from his own shock first.
"He's right, baby. This isn't going to go away. Just because I publicly and undoubtedly confirmed our relationship, the fact that they still believe Mia's baby is mine is only going to get worse unless we figure out a way to address it without hurting Mia or the baby."
I shake my head and give him a small smile meant to soothe his worries.
"No. We won't let this go past this room until Mia wants it to. This is so much bigger than having some rumors and stories printed about us, Kane. So much bigger."
He moves from the middle of the room and crouches in front of me, his hands splaying against each of my thighs as his eyes implore me to understand him.
"I know you're worried about how I'll handle the public backlash that will come with our silence, but that concern is misplaced, Kane. I promise you that I'm not making this decision lightly. I know the reality that we will be inviting by doing this and allowing them to paint me in a light that will not be pretty. But we know the truth. The only people who matter are in this room. And at the end of the day, their lies and speculations will never touch what we have."
His head drops into my lap, and I reach out with the hand that isn't holding Mia to me and run my fingers soothingly through his hair.
"If you would have asked me a year ago to allow others to freely judge me, I wouldn't have believed it possible to be strong enough to handle that. Just the fear of their judgment alone would have had me running, but Kane, if you have taught me anything, it's that no one else's opinion matters if I'm happy with myself and my life. This isn't me taking on someone else's burden, this is me helping shoulder someone's pain when it's so unbearable that the thought of going forward without giving help is more daunting than anything some stupid magazines will say about me. I'm not offering what I don't want to give."
"Baby," he hoarsely mumbles, his hands tightening and his head rocking against my lap. "This will never go away unless we admit I'm not the father. This might follow our lives for years to come."
"Look at me," I command, and he lifts his head slowly. "This will go away. It will eventually fizzle until they become bored or someone else does something to get their attention. But even if it doesn't, the only thing that should matter here is that your nephew is able to live a life that isn't started with a scandal. I'm strong enough, you're strong enough--we are so strong together that we're unbreakable. That is all that we need in order to move forward and power through. So what if it follows us, Kane? It won't follow him." I reach out and place my finger on Mia's stomach, letting what I'm saying to them sink in.
"God, Willow." His voice is thick with emotion.
"I don't care what they say, Kane. I know the truth and the only people who matter are this family. We say nothing. You all have given the world so much of yourselves. Your lives have been open for them to rip apart for far too long. Not this time."
"Willow, you ... you have no idea what you're offering," Mia brokenly whispers. She pulls her body up, and my hand drops. "You have no clue."
I soften my expression and turn to address her, letting her see for herself that I mean what I'm saying. "I understand exactly what I'm offering you. I know because I was in your same position of helpless fear not too long ago. I endured, but only because I wasn't alone. I found my strength again because I had others who helped remove the pain I was living in until I could become tough enough to hold myself up alone. You aren't alone, and you never will be."
Her eyes fill with tears again.
"You're sure," Kane questions, his tone more steady than before.
"Positive, Kane. This doesn't define our relationship. No one but us has that power. This only comes between us if we allow it. You showed me what it was like to live a life free of the anxiety. Anxiety that had held me captive in fear that I had been desperate to break free from. I couldn't see past what was hurti
ng me at that moment in order to see there was something better out there. I had your help to become free of all the pain I had felt in my life, and I'm now able to be the help someone else needs now. The help Mia needs."
He searches my face, looking for the tiniest hint that I might not understand what will follow if we allow the media to continue assuming that Mia's child is his and that I'm the other woman. "So what now, Willow?" he finally asks.
"Now, we make sure that Mia has what she needs and all of us move forward in our lives, but we don't do it alone. They will speculate and they will want us to give them anything if it means their lies can grow. We don't hide. Mia doesn't hide. None of us do. We go on and freely enjoy our lives. As far as I'm concerned, they could turn us into the next sister wives, but no matter what, this baby will never have to deal with the kind of stuff they would say if they knew just how he was created."
"And Kyle?" Kole asks.
"He needs help," Kane interjects before I can speak. "And honestly, as far as I'm concerned, he is no brother of mine. I haven't been able to stand to be in the same room as him since Mia told me what happened. I know you deny that he raped you, Mia, but the bottom line is that he forced himself on you when you weren't in the right frame of mind to voice your objections. Just because you didn't say no doesn't change the fact it wasn't consensual sex. He didn't believe Mia when she told him anyway, so as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't matter."
"What if he changes his mind and all of this means nothing?" Mia weakly inquires. "What if he wants us ... the baby?"
"Do you really think he would do that?"
Kane's question isn't meant to hurt her, but she flinches anyway.
"No. He won't. He hates dealing with the media even more than you do, but puts up with it because of Jessica. And we know that he wouldn't want Jessica to find out that he had been unfaithful. Not when there isn't a prenup and she would clean him out. Fuck, he's drunk constantly anyway, so it's not like anyone takes him seriously." Kole's pissed voice confirms what I thought about Kyle.
"And Mom and Dad?" Kane asks his brother.
Kole looks at him, and I know they both hate the thought of keeping this, their grandson, from their parents.