Chapter 13
a game not worth playing
Annika didn’t remember falling asleep, or even waking up. She just lay in a self-loathing stupor for most of the morning, except when she snuck out to use the bathroom. She crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over herself, hiding from the dreary grey sky outside. She felt more homesick than she ever thought possible. She’d always been an adventurous type of person, and didn’t have much experience getting into a situation she couldn’t get herself out of. The only comforting thought was how Sloan had stopped things from going too far. That, and the way that Finn had looked after her the entire night, but he was spoken for. The sounds of lunchtime had long since passed, and occasionally she heard voices traveling down the hallways. She had no idea what time it was, but it was probably late afternoon. She tried to think of a way to back out of her future visit to Talvi’s room without sounding irrational or insecure. As luck would have it, she was about to be tested, because at that moment there was a light knock on the door.
“Yeah?”
“I have something for you,” a velvety voice said playfully. She felt pissed off all over again. She slipped out of the bed and cracked the door open. Talvi stood barefoot in a snug white t-shirt and loose brown cargo pants. He could have passed for any other drop dead gorgeous twenty-first century guy if it weren’t for his slightly pointed ears. He leaned against the doorway and smiled at her. She frowned back at him and quickly looked away.
“I was concerned about you last night,” he said. “Yuri told us that you weren’t feeling well. You really should have let me know. I don’t like the idea of you wandering around in the middle of the night like that. I would have taken you home myself if I’d known.”
I’m sure you would have loved that, wouldn’t you? she thought.
“It’s no big deal. Did you remember to grab the guitar?” was what she said.
“Of course I did,” he frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you ill? I didn’t think you drank that much.”
“I’m fine,” she lied. She waited a moment for him to speak, but he just looked down at her with concern. “So, did you say you had something for me?” she reminded him. He held up her backpack proudly, like a wolf who’d caught his rabbit.
“I got impatient waiting for you to come find it,” he confessed, gazing at her with bedroom eyes. “I thought perhaps I’d hide it under your bed and watch you crawl around on all fours to get it.” She reached out for her bag, but he lifted his arm. He stood well over a foot taller than her, and she normally would have played along and jumped up to catch it. Not this time. She placed her hands on her hips, then crossed them over her chest anxiously. She didn’t know what to do with herself.
“Thanks for bringing it by. I’ll see you later,” she said, trying to dismiss him.
“What have you been doing all day?” he inquired, passing by her and walking to the window. He’d slung the bag over his shoulder, not ready to relinquish it just yet.
“Nothing. I’m really tired, actually.” She scratched her head, trying to figure out the most polite way to get him to leave, but she got the feeling he wasn’t about to be shooed out like a house fly.
“No you’re not,” he said, looking out the window.
“And what makes you an expert on my sleeping habits?”
“That first night in front of the fire,” he replied and turned to her with a sweet smile. “I wanted to get to know you better whilst the others were sleeping, but you were already dreaming. I’d still like to get to know you better.” Annika turned her head to hide her face as she rolled her eyes. She was sure it was just another one of his many lines.
“Yeah, I bet you would,” she said with feigned enthusiasm, letting him know she was onto him. Leaving the door wide open, she walked over to him and reached for her backpack, but he turned towards her and took her outstretched hand, intertwining their fingers. His other hand pressed into the small of her back, forcing her to step close to him. She hated to admit that he had some smooth moves. His fingertips curled under the hem of her shirt, tantalizing the flesh over her hip bone.
She couldn’t look him in the eye and instead gazed out the window at the samodivi who were working in the gardens below. She tried to remember what she’d rehearsed in her head to say to him, but it wouldn’t come to her. He leaned down and let his lips and fuzzy sideburns graze her jaw line. Her skin prickled in reaction to his touch, but she felt too bittersweet to let him continue. She didn’t understand how something could feel so right and then so wrong at the same time. She stepped backwards, but he held onto her.
“Let me go,” she whispered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just tired.” She wrenched her hand out of his and was free.
“That’s a lie and you know it,” he said, calling her bluff. But then she remembered his old girlfriend kissing him, and she could imagine him kissing Zenzi the same way he’d kissed her in the leaves of the forest floor, or on the rug in the music room.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Then you better get comfy because I’ve got nothing to say to you,” she replied, feeling cold inside once more. He looked completely puzzled and hurt, but he dropped the bag and pulled a chair in front of the window, crossing his arms with indignation as he sat down. She hadn’t expected him to take her up on her challenge.
Annika snatched her bag, finding her journal quickly and fell onto the bed with her back facing him. As much as she wanted to sneak a look at him, she managed to not turn her head in his direction once.
That Talvi thinks he’s so clever, but he’s just a spoiled brat! She scribbled across the page. What a piece of work! What was I thinking? Everything he says is some kind of line, some romantic bullshit that nobody says. ‘Who the hell really says ‘I didn’t think they made girls like you Annika Brisby?’ Even that thing in Fae is just to get in my pants! I’ll admit I really liked him until yesterday. Why not? He’s attractive, sexy, and we have great chemistry. But when he read me my favorite fairy tale, my heart started to melt. I actually thought he might be different. It doesn’t matter now, though. I know his type. They’re so vain and proud; they don’t change. Why would they want to?
She wrote for a long time, over half an hour. Even when her hand began to hurt she pressed on, only stopping when Runa popped in through the open door.
“Hey there you two! What are you doing?” her sing song voice called out. Annika looked up from her spot on the bed.
“I think we’re ignoring each other,” she said.
“Is it some sort of a game?” Runa looked thoroughly confused, even for being a platinum blonde.
“Yep. Talvi likes to play games, doesn’t he?” she asked facetiously, but he didn’t make a sound.
“He does, although I’m not familiar with this one,” Runa seemed very perplexed, and then shrugged it off and put on a bright smile. “Well, let me know who wins!”
The moment Runa left, Annika whipped around and saw Talvi had made himself quite comfortable, slouching in the chair and stretching his legs on the side of the window. He was listening to her mp3 player, wearing her large headphones, and looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. She sighed and realized that they were both so stubborn, they might be there all day. Maybe all night, even, and that wouldn’t do. She had to get him out of there. Fast.
She closed her book and rolled over to her side, waving to get his attention. He slid one of the speakers away from his pointed ear and raised an expectant eyebrow in her direction.
“Okay, I’m ready to talk,” she announced. “I don’t think is going to work. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“It’s not so bad. I could sit here all day. I can’t believe how many songs this tiny thing holds! I need to get one,” he said, nodding his head to an unheard drumbeat.
“No, I don’t mean this bullshit right here. I mean you and me. It’s a bad idea,” she clarified, feeling grosse
d out by what Yuri had confided only hours ago. He turned off the device, took off the headphones, and sat up straight in his chair.
“Bad ideas make for the best stories, and I love a good story. You’re going to have to do better than that, if that’s your excuse.”
“You know, after last night I don’t think I owe you jack shit.”
“I don’t think I appreciate the tone of your voice,” he said coolly.
“Don’t treat me like an idiot. I may be twenty-five, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I know about Zenzi and all your other girlfriends. And it’s not that I care how you treat them, but I’m not going to be treated that way. At least most of the players I’ve met try to be discreet about it. You don’t even bother!” she snapped.
“What do my guitar playing abilities have to do with the way you are acting? Are you jealous that I’m a better player than you? Is this a particularly hormonal time? Are you frequently subject to such extreme emotional instability?” he snapped right back. She gasped, realizing that he was calling her not only crazy and premenstrual, but a bad guitar player.
“Are you really that stupid that you think I’m talking about guitars?”
“No, but you’re the one with the pine needle in your knickers, so why don’t you enlighten me on how to work it out?”
“I’m not talking about guitars, Talvi!” she hissed angrily, realizing that the door was left open. “A player is a guy who’s trying to sleep with as many girls as possible at the same time!”
“That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard of,” he said, reaching up to scratch his head. “You modern girls have such strange phrases for the damnedest things. Do you really think I would prefer Zenzi over you? She’s no one.”
“You didn’t seem to have any trouble taking my pants off and then putting your arm around no one right in front of me last night,” she said with a biting tongue. “If she’s no one, why did you invite me to the pub and then ditch me as soon as we got there and go kiss her? God, you’re such a pig!”
“She kissed me, if you recall,” he insisted. “Or were you too high on pixie dust to remember?”
“Oh right, that’s right. My bad,” Annika said sarcastically.
“Well, since you’re so mature for being twenty-five, calling me childish names and whatnot, I guess you deserve an explanation,” he said, still frowning. He glanced at the wide open door and went to shut it, then returned to sit on the edge of his chair. “Zenzi is just someone I used to spend time with years ago, and since I’ve been meeting with her cousins recently, I suppose she misunderstood my intentions for dropping by so often,” he quietly explained. “I had to speak with Milena and Pavelina about the party. They’re good friends of some of the musicians, as well as good friends of mine. It took me so long to get back to you last night because it turns out that there will be far more guests than I expected; certainly more than four hundred. Apparently the musicians are bringing a lot of their mates, and some of their mates are bringing some of theirs as well. I don’t know where they’re going to bloody sleep, and Yuri will have my head if I ruin this party! She’s put so much work into it. I also took my sweet time joining you because I know Finn was passing around a pixie dust cigarette, and when I smoke and drink at the same time I do things I regret, like getting mixed up with stupid girls like Zenzi in the first place. I was trying to avoid looking like a complete ass in front of you. I tried to make it up to you later when we were playing guitar. I had a wonderful time, and I thought you enjoyed yourself as well, but then you disappeared without telling anyone and decided that I’m utterly detestable in the meantime.” He was trembling a little as he explained all of this to her. “I’m not certain what happened between yesterday and today, so if you’d like to explain in further detail why I’m so stupid, speak up.”
But Annika couldn’t speak up. He might be telling the truth, but then, he might not be. Yuri had warned her that he would say anything. He got out of the chair and sat next to her on the bed.
“I think it’s difficult for me to remember that you’re only human, and you can’t read my thoughts like a book,” he said gently. “I wish you could. I think there are a lot of things I try to tell you that you simply don’t understand. Perhaps I don’t understand them either.” She just shrugged, examining the quilt underneath her so she didn’t have to look at him. She felt confused enough as it was, whether he was lying or not.
“I know there’s more you want to say to me Annika. Get it off your chest while we’re coming clean with each other. You should be able to tell me things. You’ll feel better if you do,” he persuaded, rubbing her back with one hand. Annika took a deep breath, but didn’t look at him.
“I think some things happen for a reason,” she began. “Maybe Sloan woke up when he did for a reason. Maybe his timing was more than a coincidence. What I’m trying to say is… I think we should just be friends. I think it’s for the best. The whole mortal coil thing just doesn’t do it for me. Do you ever think about that?”
“Yes, actually. I’ve thought about that quite a bit,” he quietly answered.
“So then you see how nothing good would come of it,” she said, looking up at him. “What’s the point of us wasting our time with each other, especially when I’m supposed to be going home soon? It would just be a disaster.” He looked down at her with a slightly wounded expression.
“Do you think it’s a disaster when we touch, when we kiss?” he asked. Her eyes stung at the sincerity of his comment.
“No,” she said, trying not to sound cold. “But I think it would be easier to deal with this now than waiting until we go past the point of no return…know what I mean? We’re from two completely different worlds. We both know that you’re like, ten times older than me.” She went back to examining the fine stitching of the quilt pattern.
“It’s twelve, actually,” he corrected her.
“Whatever; it’s all the more reason,” she pointed out. “You’re a lot of fun to be around, but I can’t…I just can’t get overly involved right now. We can’t spend so much time together.”
Talvi was quiet for a long time before he spoke.
“I understand,” he said, standing up slowly. The light in his eyes was gone, but he still carried himself regally towards the door. “I’ll respect your wishes, and if that means I have to keep my distance, so be it. You know that I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” He walked out the door, shutting it softly behind him, and Annika cried herself to sleep.
She dreamt that she had wandered into the village and found herself surrounded by disapproving elves who wanted her to leave. She asked them why, but she knew why. It was forbidden for a human to be romantically involved with an elf. Her black-haired prince appeared before her and she was sure he was going to rescue her. But instead of coming to her defense, he wouldn’t even touch her. And then the three elves from the Tortoise and Hare joined him. Together they all watched her be forced out of town with smiles on their faces. He stood right in front of Annika with his arms around the other girls, watching her burn as he smiled the cruelest smile of them all.