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“Has he?”
Sofia sat up on the bed and gripped my wrist.
“Why are you acting like this? You’ve seen Lucas and I interact countless times. ”
“Interact? Is that what you do with Lucas?”
I knew I was being irrational and unreasonable, but the image of Sofia with Ben embracing was burning away all rational thought and reason in my mind.
“Has something been going on between you and my brother, Sofia?”
“Me and Lucas?!” She said it through gritted teeth, like it was the most disgusting thing she’d ever heard of. “That’s madness, Derek. I would never…”
I moved fast, pushing her on her back over the bed. I quickly grabbed her wrists and pinned them with one hand over her head and knelt on the bed, straddling her hips.
Her eyes grew wide in question.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a small, broken voice. “Wait! Don’t…”
I grabbed her jaw non-too-gently. It was the first time I could remember treating her in an untoward fashion since the attack the first time I ever set eyes on her. I felt like I was losing her and that it was beyond my control. I wanted to regain some form of control and unreasonable as it was, I was taking my agitation out on her.
“You’re mine, Sofia. Many things have changed between us, but that hasn’t changed. ”
She didn’t respond. Instead, she just looked at me in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She looked at me with fear.
That woke me up from my momentary burst of insane rage. I let go of her and got off her, feeling like the biggest jerk ever to walk the earth. I couldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t even bear being in the same room with her. I didn’t deserve her.
I knew that I was lying when I reminded her that the fact that she was mine hadn’t changed. No matter what alpha male act I could pull off in trying to intimidate her, I knew the truth. She was no longer mine. In fact, it was the exact opposite. At some point during all those times I’d spent with her, I’d become hers.
CHAPTER 25: SOFIA
No words could explain how shaken I was over what Derek did. It was so unlike him and I couldn’t understand how he could do something like that or why he would do it. Doubts assailed my mind.
Was Ben right? Was this Derek getting tired of me?
I remained motionless on the bed long after he got off me and stormed out of the room off to…I didn’t want to know where. I was trembling, unsure of what to make out of what just happened. All sense of security I felt whenever I was in that bedroom began to wash away and I found myself terrified. Yet after a bout of self-introspection, I realized that though I resented him for treating me the way that he did, I felt more worried about Derek more than any other feeling.
It wasn’t like him to act the way that he did and the fact that he would do to me something like that… I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. I looked back to the reason for his outburst. He thinks there’s something going on between me and Lucas. I wanted to explain to him how that couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was I to do that? Wanting to get my mind off of what happened, I climbed off the bed, pulled a white silk robe over the cotton night shift I had on. Plagued by worrisome thoughts, I retreated to the room that contained memories of Derek’s smile, of a dance with music that only played in Derek’s head, of a kiss that I wanted so much, but couldn’t allow to happen.
I went to the sun room and was surprised to find Ben standing there with a look of pure bliss and unveiled fascination on his face. After Derek “acquired” Ben, we spent the rest of the day together – up until the point when I had to go to Derek’s room to get some sleep. Ben actually suggested that I stay with him, but much to his dismay, I declined. I knew that should Lucas attack that night, I would only put Ben in danger if I was found with him. The time spent with Ben felt awkward and forced. The Blood Shade had changed him in ways I knew I wouldn’t be able to fully understand. Not many words were spoken between us. We just satisfied ourselves in being around the other. I knew he had his own questions for me, and I had mine, but I assumed that both of us were afraid to know the answers to our questions. I knew I was. I wouldn’t know how to handle it if Ben started telling me something awful about his experience at the Blood Shade. I didn’t even know if I could handle telling him about what Lucas had been putting me through and why I couldn’t possibly tell Derek. Thus, to see that relaxed and almost joyous expression on his face as he viewed the sun room was a precious sight to behold.
“We call it the sun room,” I said, surprising him. “I designed the room myself. You like it?”
I stepped inside the room, putting a smile on my face, trying to forget what just happened between Derek and me. I couldn’t deny the sense of pride I had upon seeing Ben’s face and how enamored he seemed by the illusion of the sun streaming through the room. It reminded me so much of the reaction on Derek’s face when I first brought him there that it almost felt like I was cheating on Derek just by being there with Ben.
“You did this?” Ben asked, not bothering to hide his enthrallment. “Sofia, this is…incredible. ”
He breathed a sigh as he approached the mural of the beach on the wall.
“What I would give to see the sun… This place and its darkness… This room is a refuge. What made you think of this?”
I bit my lip as I stared at him. I wanted so badly to ask him how he ended up at the Shade, how long he’d been there, what he’d been through, but I still wasn’t sure I was ready to hear about it all, so I just began blabbering about the sun room instead.
“Derek told me that he hadn’t seen sunlight in five hundred years. I could swear he missed it, so that’s where I got the idea, and…”
Ben withdrew his hand from the mural he was touching and admiring. It was as if the mention of Derek being involved in the creative process suddenly made the mural unappealing.
“So you did this for him?” He asked incredulously.
“Well, yeah…” I admitted. “That - and I also missed the sun. ” I tried to use a perkier tone to lighten the mood. I didn’t like where the conversation was going.
“How could you do anything for him? For any of their kind?” His tone was accusing and intense. “You’re his slave, Sofia. How could you live with that?”
I didn’t have the answers to the questions he was throwing my way. What could I possibly say to him? That Derek was different? That he wasn’t like the others? All I knew was that over the past weeks that I’d been there, Derek had begun to mean the world to me. Even after what he did earlier, and no matter how hurt and confused I was by it, I still had trouble seeing Derek in a negative light. Not after everything we’d been through. How could I even begin to explain this to Ben? I wrapped my arms around Ben’s waist from behind, hoping to take his thoughts away from the vampires just as much as I wanted to take my thoughts away from Derek.
“Let’s just forget about them for now, can we please? I missed you so much. ”
“I can’t just forget, Sophie. You have no idea what that bitch Claudia put me through. ”
There was an edge to his tone. Jaded. Broken. Cynical. There was no sorrow left. Just pure hatred. Completely unlike the happy-go-lucky Ben I used to know. He turned around to face me, his blue eyes blazing with bitterness and spite.
“I never would’ve thought that it would be you – the girl Claudia’s been harping on about, the human who stole the vampire prince’s heart. You couldn’t possibly understand how much it crushes me to see that you were taken captive too, that their kind can ruin you any way they please. And after everything, it almost seems like you’ve fallen in love with him. ”
I swallowed hard. Fallen in love? With Derek? I couldn’t lie to myself. I knew I was in danger of falling for him, but whether that had happened already… whether I’d actually fallen for him I still wasn’t sure of. I felt as if I didn’t need to defend whatever it was th
at I had with Derek to Ben, nor did I want to, so I focused on Ben instead. I knew that there was no escaping where this conversation was going. I heaved a sigh gearing myself up for the worst.
“What happened to you, Ben? How did you get here? What has she been doing to you?”
There was a long pause before Ben heaved a sigh and began to explain. “You didn’t return to the villa the night of your birthday. I was worried sick. I waited for you and when dawn came and you still weren’t around, I started looking for you. That’s when she found me. She took me to her penthouse and I’d been there since. This was the first time she’d allowed me out after I tried to escape. ”
My stomach was in knots, as I ran through my mind what pain his attempted escape might have brought him. I had no idea how lucky I was to be with Derek.
“You…you tried to escape? What happened?”
A bitter smile formed on his face. “See for yourself. ”
He pulled off his white woolen shirt.
I gasped at the sight, tears spilling from my eyes, as I clamped a palm over my mouth.