The following handwritten comment appears in the proof copy of the original edition in R.G.’s library: ‘1927. Written at Hammersmith. First draft at Cairo; March 1926.’ Thus the 1924 date given in the Collected Short Stories is most probably a misprint.

  The following text was eliminated from ‘The Shout’ when it appeared in Occupation: Writer (1950). It had previously preceded the present opening lines:

  Leave off now, I pray you, and speak no more for I

  cannot abear to hear such incredible lies.

  M Apuleius, The Golden Ass

  (tr. W. Adlington)

  [This story occurred to me one day while I was walking in the desert near Heliopolis in Egypt and came upon a stony stretch where I stopped to pick up a few misshapen pebbles; what virtue was in them I do not know, but I somehow had the story from them, and three years later found it coming true to me. (True in an undistorted way, of course, with a most important character added, and with the macabre strangeness illuminated.) It is not just literature or an Ufa film-scenario. The asylum cricket-match was played at Littlemore, near Oxford, the sandhills are those just beyond the Royal St David’s Golf Links at Harlech, though with an added Egyptian cruelty. It will be found that Crossley, when he tells the story, admits that he has varied it each time he has told it; thus, in a way, apologising for its distortions of actual event.]

  Avocado Pears

  ‘“Avocado Pears” is also a true story. The narrator was T.W. Harries of Balliol College, Oxford, who died soon afterwards while on a visit to India.’ R.G., ibid.

  Old Papa Johnson

  ‘“Old Papa Johnson” is a true story; I omitted it from Goodbye to All That partly because it was too long for an incidental anecdote and partly because “Papa Johnson” himself might have objected. “Desolation Island” was South Georgia.’ – R.G., introduction to Occupation: Writer.

  Está En Su Casa

  ‘“Está En Su Casa”, “founded on fact” as the Victorians used to say in the days before writers had to worry about libel actions, records my happy return to Majorca in 1946.’ – R.G., ibid.

  Bins K to T

  ‘“Bins K to T” is written in self-criticism of my absent-minded habit of pocketing pencils and match-boxes.’ – R.G., ibid.

  An Appointment for Candlemas

  ‘“An Appointment for Candlemas” brought members of the revived British witch cult to my door in search of information about flying ointments and such like.’ R.G., introduction to Collected Short Stories.

  She Landed Yesterday

  ‘Nor can I claim to have invented the factual details even of “She Landed Yesterday” […] In fact, a correspondent who read “She Landed Yesterday” reproached me for not mentioning the two French copper coins found in the coffin-doll’s pocket.’ – R.G., ibid.

  Sources

  Abbreviations:

  C Catacrok! London: Cassell & Co. Ltd., 1956

  CSS Collected Short Stories New York: Doubleday & Co. Inc., 1964; London: Cassell & Co. Ltd., 1965

  MO Majorca Observed London: Cassell & Co. Ltd.; New York: Doubleday & Co. Inc., 1965

  OW Occupation: Writer New York: Creative Age Press, 1950; London: Cassell & Co. Ltd., 1951

  Honey and Flowers: The Green Chartreuse, July 1913.

  My New-Bug’s Exam: The Green Chartreuse, July 1913; Goodbye to All That (revised edition) London: Cassell & Co. Ltd.; New York: Doubleday & Co. Inc., 1957.

  Thames-side Reverie: As ‘By a Thames Window’, Evening News, 26 February 1929; OW.

  The Shout: The Shout London: Elkin Matthews & Marot, 1929; CSS.

  Avocado Pears: But It Still Goes On, London & Toronto: Jonathan Cape, 1930; OW.

  Old Papa Johnson: But It Still Goes On; CSS.

  Interview with a Dead Man: As part of ‘A Journal of Curiosities’ in But It Still Goes On; OW.

  Está En Su Casa: As ‘The Feud of St. Peter and St. Paul’ in Tomorrow, August 1947; OW.

  Bins K to T: As ‘Dead Man’s Bottles’ in OW; became ‘Bins K to T’ in first English edition of OW.

  School Life in Majorca 1955: As ‘School Life in Majorca’ in Punch, 6 January 1954; MO.

  Bulletin of the College of St Modesto of Bobbio: As ‘Bulletin of the College of St Francis of Assisi’ C; MO.

  Treacle Tart: Punch, 17 February 1954; CSS.

  Week-End at Cwm Tatws: Punch, 31 March 1954; CSS.

  The Full Length: Punch, 31 March 1954; CSS.

  God Grant Your Honour Many Years: Punch, 31 May 1954; CSS.

  6 Valiant Bulls 6: As ‘Six Valiant Bulls’ in Punch, 23 June 1954; CSS.

  Flesh-coloured Net Tights: Punch, 4 August 1954; C.

  Thy Servant and God’s: Punch, 18 August 1954; MO.

  A Man May Not Marry His…: New Statesman, 2 October 1954; CSS.

  An Appointment for Candlemas: Punch, 1 December 1954; CSS.

  The Five Godfathers: Punch, 29 December 1954; CSS.

  The White Horse or ‘The Great Southern Ghost Story’: As ‘The White Horse’ in Punch, 12 January 1955; Five Pens in Hand, New York: Doubleday & Co. Inc., 1958.

  Epics Are Out of Fashion: Punch, 16 February 1955; CSS.

  Earth to Earth: New Statesman, 19 February 1955; CSS.

  They Say… They Say: Punch, 20 April 1955; CSS.

  The Abominable Mr Gunn: Punch, 29 June 1955; CSS.

  The Whitaker Negroes: Encounter, 21-29 July 1955; CSS.

  Trín-Trín-Trín: Punch, 5 October 1955; MO.

  Cambridge Upstairs: Punch, 14 March 1956; C.

  ‘Ha, Ha!’ Chort-led Nig-ger: Punch, 21 March 1956; C.

  Ditching in a Fishless Sea: Punch, 5 September 1956; MO.

  Period Piece: C; CSS.

  He Went Out to Buy a Rhine: C; CSS.

  Kill Them! Kill Them!: C; CSS.

  Harold Vesey at the Gates of Hell: C; CSS.

  Life of the Poet Gnaeus Robertulus Gravesa: C; Life of the Poet Gnaeus Robertulus Gravesa, Deià, Mallorca: The New Seizin Press, 1990.

  Ever Had a Guinea Worm?: C.

  A Bicycle in Majorca: New Yorker, 22 June 1957; CSS.

  Evidence of Affluence: New Yorker, 12 October 1957; CSS.

  The French Thing: 5 Pens in Hand, New York: Doubleday & Co. 1958; CSS.

  A Toast to Ava Gardner: New Yorker, 26 April 1958; CSS.

  The Viscountess and the Short-haired Girl: Gentleman’s Quarterly, October 1958; CSS.

  She Landed Yesterday: New Yorker, 7 March 1959; CSS.

  The Lost Chinese: Lilliput, December 1959; as ‘The Case of the Difficult Husband’ in Playboy, January 1960; CSS.

  You Win, Houdini!: London Magazine, February 1960; CSS.

  The Tenement: A Vision of Imperial Rome: As ‘An Imperial Tale’ in Holiday, April 1960; as ‘The Apartment House’ in the American edition of CSS; English edition of CSS.

  The Myconian: As ‘The Gaudy Games’ in Sports Illustrated, 1 August 1960; CSS.

  Christmas Truce: As ‘Wave No Banners’ in the Saturday Evening Post, 15 December 1962; CSS.

  My Best Christmas: Sunday Telegraph, 23 December 1962; The Crane Bag, London: Cassell & Co. Ltd., 1969.

  No, Mac, It Just Wouldn’t Work: Playboy, January 1967.

  Miss Briton’s Lady-Companion: Family Circle, 24 September 1967; The Crane Bag, 1969.

  My First Amorous Adventure: Playboy, January 1972.

  1 From the introduction to Occupation: Writer, New York: Creative Age Press, 1950; London: Cassell & Co. Ltd., 1951.

  1 A Jew in Christian disguise.

  1 From Gaius Seutonius Tranquillus’s Lives of the Britannic Poets. Translation by W. Wadlington Postchaise (Loeb Classics, 1955).

  1 He found a formula for drawing comic rabbits This formula for drawing comic rabbits paid, Till at the end he could not change the tragic habits This formula for drawing comic rabbits made.

  1 About $30 for 150,000 words.

 


 

  Robert Graves, Complete Short Stories

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