Chapter 29: Blurred Lines
Jayde
I had told Kohl everything he wanted to know and he still wasn’t happy. I don’t think he’d ever look at me the same. He had been so hurt he just walked away. He never came to dinner and I didn’t see him on my evening swim. Sy apologized, but it wasn’t as heartfelt as his previous apologies. He was happy Kohl knew. He wanted Kohl to think there might actually be competition for my heart when there wasn’t. Sure, my feelings for Sy had shifted but it paled in comparison to my love for Kohl. Kohl was it for me and he needed to get that through his thick skull.
The next morning I went to breakfast hoping to catch him. He never showed. I paced around my room for a few hours as Isa went over plans she made in my absence. I had a fitting later today and then I was free.
“Isadora, can I take a break for a bit.” I asked after she went over the menu with a fine tooth comb for the millionth time. The woman was meticulous I had to give her credit for that.
“As you wish, my queen.” I left and went to Kohl’s quarters if he was avoiding me he had to be somewhere and this is the place I thought he would be. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
“I need a day, Philip.” Kohl shouted back. I opened the door. Kohl was in his silk bottoms and shirtless pacing his sitting room.
“Jayde, I...”
“You’re avoiding me.” I finished for him.
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“Like?” I asked waiting to hear this completely absurd excuse.
He sighed, “Why did you have to kiss him. Wasn’t I enough?” I stared at him, disbelieving.
“You are more than enough. I love you.” I reiterated. “I was acting like the queen you insist I should be, but when it conflicts with how you see me it’s a problem.”
“I don’t want to share you with Sy, of all people.”
“But you are okay sharing me with an entire country?” I snapped back.
“It’s different.”
“It’s only different because it’s Sy. Stop blaming the war on him and give him a second chance, Kohl. I gave you a second chance. He deserved a second chance too and I gave it to him. Now, it’s your turn to act like the man I love and forgive.”
His face drained of emotion as he processed what I had just said. “I think I’m going to have to admit that your wisdom might have surpassed mine.” He replied sinking into an armchair. “You’re right.” He stood and began to pace again like he couldn’t sit still for that long.
“I am?” I repeated. He was agreeing with me? I thought he would put up more fight than that.
“Yes.” He said coming toward me and wrapping his naked arms around me.
“I wanted to tell you something else too. It’s why I asked Sy to not break the treaty.”
“Go on.” He said pulling away but only to look at me.
“I don’t want to go through with it.” I waited for Kohl’s angry reaction, but it didn’t come. He stared at me with no emotion on his face.
“Why not? You love me. We’ll live happily ever after.”
“And Sy loses everything he’s ever known.”
“That was the deal.” He said without a drop of sympathy.
“We are better than that. We are better than our parents. This tri-ruling family doesn’t have to end with them. The three of us can make it work.”
“It sounds nice in theory, Jayde, but I don’t think it’s practical.”
“It is practical, you are only denying it because you assume you will win with the original treaty.” He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. His dark eyes narrowed at me and his arms fell from my waist.
“I won’t be able to rule beside Sy. I want to marry you whether or not this treaty existed. That would make two ruling families.” He challenged. That was where I had gotten stuck too. What do we do leave it like that? Kohl and I could have two children and they could both rule, but Sy would definitely have something to say about that arrangement. None of it would be nice either.
“I haven’t come up with a solution to that. I just wanted to prepare you.” Kohl started to move away and begin pacing the room again.
“Prepare me? You really think that Sy would agree to that?” He asked incredulously.
“I don’t see why not. You keep your title. Sy keeps his title. The war is still over. We are all happy.”
“I will never be happy with Sy around.” He said beginning to pace.
“Fine, I’ll let you think about it. What else is bothering you?” He stopped pacing. That had gotten his attention. Kohl had already been agitated before he even saw me and Sy had pushed him over the metaphorical edge. I never expected their relationship to change over night. I knew they needed to butt heads a few times before anything was solved. I just wasn’t expecting either of them to be so adamant about their disdain toward the other. I felt like I was missing something, but those two were more stubborn than brick walls. I was never going to figure out what that was.
“I... I’m sorry, Jayde. I exiled Antonio already.”
“And?” I said noncommittally. I think I had been with Sy too long. I had expected Kohl to put that idiot back on death row.
“You aren’t upset?”
“Upset? He tried to kill you. I’m upset that you didn’t kill the bastard.” Kohl came back to me, pulling me to his firm chest.
“I was so worried to tell you about it. I thought you’d never forgive me.”
My voice was muffled against him, “I don’t know why you continue to doubt that you are more important than anyone else I have ever met. Kohl, I love you. I care about Sy, but my love for you is consuming.”
He stiffened, we were back where we had started. Sy and that kiss. “You wouldn’t have kissed him if that was true.”
“I have never lied to you. I care about him, I don’t really understand my feelings for Sy, but I understand my feelings for you and they are stronger. I swear.” I said as I looked into the dark depths of his eyes. “You are it for me, Kohl.”
His eyes didn’t show trust. “I will believe it when we are married and you are officially mine.” I smiled at his response.
“Well I look forward to that too, love.” He kissed me and eventually we got carried away. Kohl lifted me up and took me to his bed. A place I hadn’t even seen yet, let alone been in. Kohl laid me on the perfectly made bed. A dark blue comforter covered his oversized bed. He collapsed on me barely breaking our kiss. His hands moved sliding my dress higher and higher until it was at my waist.
His kisses were fevered like he needed a reminder as to what I felt like, what I tasted like. His mouth never parted from mine for more than a moment as his hands began to tug at the zipper on the side of my dress. My hands traveled down his naked back. I loved the way his muscles tensed wherever I touched him.
“I missed you all weekend.” He said against my lips. A breathy “Me too” escaped my mouth.
A knock sounded on the door. We froze. Oh, I hoped Philip didn’t just walk in. I would die of mortification.
“Philip, I really need a day to myself. I’ll talk to you later.” Kohl shouted, not even moving from on top of me. I stifled a laugh and Kohl was on me again. God, I missed his touch. I missed his kisses. My skin was on fire where he kissed me and I just wanted more. I pulled him even closer to me.
Another knock came to the door this time it was followed by a female voice. “I’m sorry your majesty I was looking for Lady Jayde. Samara and Cara are here for her fitting.” Isa said through the door.
“Shit.” I squeaked. Kohl groaned and rolled over onto his back. I fell on top of him leaving him with one last, long and dreamy kiss.
“If you keep kissing me like that. I won’t care who’s here for you.” I pulled my dress down to its appropriate position.
“Well that means you might have to find me later. I guess you will be leaving your room sooner than you planned.” He pulled me back to him.
“Swim with me to
night.”
“Same time?” I asked as another knock sounded on the door. “Just a moment, Isa.” I shouted, hoping she’d go back to my room and give me a few more blissful moments with Kohl.