“No!” Chase snapped. “He doesn’t know. The council deceived him.”
“So they’ve been protecting Stone all these years?”
“He left the country. They couldn’t find him.”
“But he’s here now. Are they’re hiding him?”
“No. Even his father knows he’s bad. He wants him stopped too.”
Della tried to understand. “But then why did Powell not look into the lead about Stone at the prison? Are you sure his father doesn’t know where he is?”
“I don’t think he’s lying,” he said. “They’ve agreed to help us find him. They want him stopped too.”
“Did you tell Burnett?”
“Yes. I just left his office and if you don’t believe me you go ask him.”
“I didn’t mean…” Della kept looking at him. Something wasn’t right. Then it hit her. He wasn’t smiling. He almost always smiled.
“Did something else happen?” she asked.
“No,” he said.
She moved in and got right in his face. “Don’t lie to me.”
He frowned. Then suddenly, he lifted his face and his eyes went from green to a bright neon green.
“How about you don’t lie to me?” he growled.
“I haven’t,” she said, unsure what the hell was happening.
“Okay, tell me, Della. Why is it that I smell a certain shape-shifter all over you?” He leaned in. “Your hair.” He leaned lower. “Your chest?” He turned around and ran his nose over her shoulders. “Your back. You were in his arms, weren’t you?”
She swung around and stood there, not sure what she could or should tell him. But not appreciating him sniffing her like she was some dirty slut.
“You know what?” he seethed. “I’ve had a pretty miserable day and I’m done. Screw it.” He took off.
Della started to fly after him, but then stopped. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Yeah, she’d hugged Steve, but not like a hug-hug. Oh, and she’d told him she loved him, but as she’d finally admitted to Miranda and Kylie, she didn’t really love Steve. She was … this close to admitting she loved Chase.
And if Chase had asked her in a reasonable way about Steve’s scent, she would have told him. Hell, she’d been planning on telling Chase about Steve’s plan, and getting him to go with her.
But if he was going get all pissy about Steve, he’d probably find a reason she shouldn’t go get her father’s files.
She turned and stormed back into her cabin.
Miranda and Della were still at the kitchen table. “Forget what I said,” she snapped. “Chase doesn’t scare me anymore. He just downright pisses me off!”
She took off for her bedroom and slammed the door, forgetting it didn’t shut. The last sound she heard before she landed facefirst on the bed was the door falling and hitting the floor.
Chapter Thirty-eight
As angry as Della was, she left her phone on her bedside table so she would hear it when Chase texted or called with his apology.
It was almost three before she fell asleep. Not that it had been just him on her mind. He wasn’t even in the top five. Or maybe he was.
Her phone never rang, never dinged with a text. But she still checked it first thing when she woke up.
Nothing.
That hurt, damn it. Where did he get off being such a jerk?
She got ready for school early, thinking he might come by before he went to work. Wrong again.
Jerk!
At lunch, Steve texted and said his plan had worked. He found a room on the tenth floor where all the old files were boxed up. He’d even left a window open for her.
She texted him back and asked if he would go with her tonight.
And just as she knew he would, he said yes.
When she got out of school, she walked by Chase’s cabin, but he wasn’t there. So she took off to the front of the school, to see if Chase’s car was there. It wasn’t. But Burnett’s was.
“In here,” Burnett said as she moved inside the office.
Della stepped into Holiday’s office, not really sure what she planned on saying. Then she remembered she needed to let him know that she and Steve were going out.
“You back from work?” she asked, not wanting to blurt it out first thing.
“Yeah,” he said, looking up from his laptop. “You okay?”
“Not really,” she said. “Tell me we got a new judge on my dad’s case and I’ll be better.”
He frowned. “I haven’t heard anything yet.”
“So no luck finding Stone?”
“No. Chase did get a few more addresses from someone on the council to check. But—”
“Is that where he is now?” she asked.
“No, he covered that this morning. He didn’t find anything.” Burnett looked back at his computer.
“So is he working the Chi case now?”
Burnett looked up as if almost confused. “No, we did that earlier too.”
She didn’t want to ask, but it just leaked out. “So where’s Chase now?”
Burnett hesitated. “I’m assuming he’s at his cabin.”
“No, I went there, and his car’s gone.”
Burnett frowned. “I didn’t mean here, I meant at his cabin.” He sat up. “Did he not tell you he was moving back?”
She recalled Chase’s words: I’m out of here. Screw it. “Yeah, he kind of did,” she said, hurting.
“Is something up between you two?” Burnett asked.
“I wouldn’t have a clue what’s up with him,” she said to keep from lying. And it was true. She didn’t know what had gotten into Chase. Sure, he’d been jealous of Steve before, but never so … so crazy.
“He wasn’t himself today,” Burnett said.
Della almost tossed out that she and Steve were thinking of going out, but it just seemed too weird after talking about Chase. “Well, I’ve got homework.”
Not that she planned on doing it.
She took off, and almost as if wanting—hoping—to prove Burnett wrong, she went to cabin fourteen.
She stepped in. Looked around. She went to his bedroom. It was empty.
She looked at the bed where she’d stayed with him when she didn’t know if he was going to live or die. Her next intake of air brought on his scent. He wasn’t here, but his scent lingered.
Her heart almost broke then.
He’d done it to her again. Stormed into her life, made her start believing his talk about loving her, and then disappeared.
Her chest filled with a deep kind of pain and it just curled up and joined all the other pains and regrets she had.
Would she ever learn to stop letting herself care about boys?
* * *
“Where are you going?” Miranda asked Della that evening when she walked out of the bathroom with her jeans and black button-down on.
“Out.” She had her phone in her hands. She planned to text Holiday and tell her she was going out for coffee with Steve, right before she walked out of the gate. She’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission. And who’d said that to her? A certain vampire who’d skipped out on her!
“You seeing Chase?” Miranda asked and Kylie looked up from the computer.
“Did he apologize?” Kylie asked.
Della had confessed to them last night about Chase’s little tantrum. But she hadn’t mentioned his moving out. Who wanted to admit you were an idiot? And that’s what she’d been. Believing in Chase. Believing he really loved her.
“No.” He didn’t apologize. Della felt bad, or at least a little bad, about hiding her excursion tonight, but she knew Kylie was one of those non–rule breakers and she’d try to talk her out of going. Or at least try to convince her to tell Burnett.
Della didn’t want to chance that he would have a problem with it. Nope. She knew it wasn’t exactly legal. But this was to help her father.
“No, I’m going with Steve to grab some coffee.” And it wasn’t a lie, because she’d told St
eve they had to so that she wouldn’t have to lie.
Della heard both her friends’ little gasps of surprise.
“With Steve?” Miranda asked.
“See ya.” Della started out.
“Not so fast,” Kylie said, after having shot across the room and blocked the front door. “What’s going on?”
“We’re going for coffee, that’s what’s going on.”
“Is she lying?” Miranda asked Kylie. “Get your vamp on and find out.”
Frowning at the witch, Della said, “Bye, guys. I won’t be late.” She gently picked up Kylie by her shoulders and set her away from the door.
Then suddenly sentimental, she was tempted to blurt out, I love you, or thank you for being here. But she couldn’t find the words. So she just left.
* * *
Della followed Steve into the coffee shop, right around the corner of St. Mary’s hospital. She was instantly hit by the smell of freshly ground coffee beans. How could something smell so good, but taste so bad? She moved with Steve up to the empty counter and tried to decide if she wanted to “fake drink” something, or if she really had to with Steve. He knew she hated coffee.
Steve gave the girl his order.
“And you?” the girl asked.
“Nothing,” Della answered, but then her eyes lowered to the bakery stuff under the glass counter. Her heart dropped a few inches. They tasted like love, Chase had said.
“Wait,” she said as the lady started to turn. “I’ll take a snickerdoodle cookie.”
“I’ve never seen you eat sweets,” Steve said.
“Is it against the law for me to want one now?” she snapped and wanted to die for being such a bitch.
Ding. Ding. Ding. The awkward bells started ringing again. She was going to have to stop those damn bells. But the only way was to have that talk Steve had been pushing her to have.
Not now.
Really bad timing. How did you tell someone helping you, Oh, by the way, you know how I said I love you? Well, I don’t really love-love you.
And yeah, that was what she needed to tell him. It didn’t matter what was happening with Chase. The fact was, she didn’t love-love Steve and he deserved someone who did. He was a great guy.
The woman put the cookie in a bag on the counter, and Della reached for some money.
“I got it,” Steve said.
“No, uh, I’m buying it and I’m buying yours, too.”
“No, I can…”
“You’re helping me.” Della threw a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. “Keep the change,” she told the girl. Then she went and found a corner table.
Steve walked over a few minutes later with a steaming cup of good-smelling, bitter-tasting stuff and a slice of cake.
“Thanks,” he said.
She nodded and reached for a napkin, suddenly wishing she had bought a coffee just to have something to keep her hands busy. But then again, she had the cookie. She glanced at it, still in the bag.
She looked up, and his soft brown eyes met hers. Not now. She glanced away.
Then Steve reached for her cookie. He had it halfway across the table when she put her hand on top of his and stopped him.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing, I was going to try a bite.”
“No.”
He looked odd. “Okay.”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
She pulled the cookie back to her side of the table.
She glanced up. “I don’t love you,” she blurted out. Oh, friggin’ hell, why had she done that?
Steve had his cup to his lips. Her words must have shocked him because he apparently swallowed wrong. Coffee spewed out of his mouth, and … maybe even his nose. So not pretty.
Then he went from spewing to hacking.
“Shit,” she muttered and handed him her napkin.
He took it and put it to his lips.
“Sorry,” she said as he turned his face away and used the napkin to clean off his face.
When he turned back, he had tears in his eyes. Surely it was from the hacking and not … Let it be from the hacking. Please!
He met her gaze and then … then laughed. Real deep, belly-type of laughing.
She stared at him. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” he said. “Us.”
“I guess I don’t see the humor in it.” She ran her finger over the edge of the table and looked down at the cookie again.
“Hey,” he said, his voice pulling her eyes up.
“I knew what you meant last night. And I also knew you felt weird about saying it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, I did.”
She nodded. And just like that she remembered some of the vibes she’d gotten from Steve since he’d come back. “You don’t love me either, do you?”
That chased away the humor in his eyes.
“Well, I … care, but…” He turned his cup in his hands. “Are we finally having our talk?”
“As long as you aren’t gonna be pissed at me and not help me tonight.” No sooner had she said that, did she wish she could unsay it.
He frowned. “You know me better than that.”
“Sorry. I do. I’m just…” dying inside. “I’m messed up right now.”
“Do you want to go first?” he asked.
“I hate being first.” She looked down at the bag with the cookie and reached in and broke a piece off. “I’m sorry. You can have a piece of you’d like.”
“That’s okay.” He smiled.
She took a bite. The sugar and cinnamon had her taste buds dancing, but then the other stuff, the doughy middle, tasted like paste.
But she forced herself to swallow.
“Okay, I’ll go first.” He took a deep breath. “Here’s the thing. I care about you. A lot. And if … some things didn’t happen, things might be different now.”
“Things?” she asked.
He let go of a deep breath. “Sorry, that’s not what I want to say.” He frowned and looked down at his cup. “I’m sort of messed up too. A little bit. Not so much that I wouldn’t share my cookie with you.” He grinned and she knew it was a joke.
She also knew that sometimes Steve joked when he was nervous.
They stared at each other for several minutes.
“Here’s the truth,” he said. “There’s a part of me that is still pissed about Chase. But something you said to me before I left has stuck with me.”
She bit down on her lip. “I said a lot of things.” She wasn’t even sure she remembered them. She’d been really pissed.
He smiled, his sad smile. “You asked me why I had made you care when I knew I was leaving.”
She nodded and the hurt from before whispered over her heart.
“You were right. I was planning on leaving. I didn’t know for sure if I would get the Paris gig, but I was hoping I would. And I think I just sort of thought you’d understand because it was about my career. I want to be a doctor. I want it more than anything.”
“If you’d told me—”
He held up his hand. “Let me finish, please. I think I didn’t tell you because that would have made me realize how my fantasy future—the one I dreamed I’d get—didn’t really match my … Della future. The one I was kind of hoping I’d get too. I knew that if I got the Paris gig there was a slight chance that I might get chosen for the International Training Academy … and I was.” His eyes sparkled with pride.
“Congratulations,” Della said.
He nodded. “After I graduate from Shadow Falls, I’ll be moving to France for a year to train under one doctor, then for the next four years I’ll be moving to Germany, Japan, and then Switzerland.”
He picked up his coffee. “So while it ticked me off that you sort of chose Chase over me, I—”
“But—”
He held up his hand and silenced her. “I finally realized that I sort of chose my career over you. Or I was going to if it happened.”
Nodding, but sti
ll needing something to do with her hands, she pulled her phone out and ran her finger around the case.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” Steve continued. “As crazy as this sounds, I still kind of love you. And I’m still kind of pissed about Chase, but…”
“I understand.” She looked up, trying to think of something to say that would make him feel better. “You just love your career more.”
He frowned again and she realized that might not have been the right thing to say. “And you love Chase more. And maybe even your career.”
She looked down at the cookie. “I don’t know … Chase and I … I don’t know if it’s love.” He’s already left me. “I mean, the bond just—”
“Stop,” he said. “And look at me,” he insisted.
When her gaze raised, he continued, “I don’t know what or how the blood transfusion affected you two. But Della, you had eyes for him when he first showed up. You were halfway in love with him before you got his blood.”
She didn’t deny it. “It’s still complicated. He deceived me and now…”
“And now he’s working for the FRU, helping you get your father off, and … and he loves you. He told me, Della. And he’s not going to give up on you.”
He already did.
“But that doesn’t mean you have to make it so hard on him. I know you. When someone gets a little too close, you start pushing them back. Stop it. I know you’ve been hurt, but other people, people who care about you, shouldn’t have to pay for the mistakes some idiots made in the past.”
Emotion tightened her throat. Had she run Chase off? She recalled telling him she didn’t love him, but hadn’t he told her he’d wait?
Maybe waiting didn’t include thinking she was snuggling up with Steve. Maybe she should have tried to explain right away. But if Chase was able to just walk away after a little misunderstanding, was she that important to him?
“Thanks for the advice,” she said, and for some crazy reason she reached over and took another bite of the cookie. Then another. It didn’t taste any better, but it didn’t stop her.
She wanted to like it.
She also wanted to know what love tasted like.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Chase parked in front of his cabin. He got out and stood by the open door waiting for Baxter to get out.