The phone rings four times before there’s an answer.
“Hello?” Her voice sounds groggy. Did I dial the right number?
“Freya?” I ask.
“Yes? Is this a telemarketer? Because I don’t have any money to buy crap,” she croaks.
“No, this is Lucy. We spoke last night. And we also spoke on Wednesday at approximately 1:35 p.m. in the peer counseling clinic.”
“Yeah, sure I remember. What’s up Luce?”
“I was wondering if I could ask for your advice.”
“Uh, sure, sure.” There’s a rustling of fabric on the line as if she’s sitting up in bed. “Wait, how did you get this number?”
“From your file at the clinic.”
“Oh.” Pause. “You went through my file?”
“It was necessary before your session. I have a very good memory.”
Another pause and then, “Okay, shoot.”
“You mentioned last night that I should form a friendly relationship with Jensen before propositioning him. I’ve thought over your advice and I think it’s reasonable. What is the most expeditious way to accomplish this?”
“Um. Well, you could do something neighborly, like invite him to a party.”
A party. I grimace before answering. “What if that’s not an option? What else?”
“Let’s see,” she says. There’s more rustling and movement on the line and then, “You could ask him for a cup of sugar or something. Don’t neighbors do that?”
“What would I use the sugar for?”
“Why does that matter? I dunno, to make cookies?”
I consider this. “I could make cookies. Then after I make them, I could bring him some. That’s neighborly, correct?”
“Sure.”
“And this also affords two separate opportunities for conversation.”
“Right,” she agrees.
“Thank you for your time,” I say, and hang up the phone.
***