CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
The darkness kept me sane… until now.
Phoenix
I was alone.
My father wanted nothing to do with me considering I'd failed him in sticking close to the Abandonato family, and I'd officially been cut off. Freaking cut off financially. All because I'd done the right thing in trying to control my own fate. Some fate. I really was going to end up working at McDonald's — if they'd have me.
Pissed off, I'd spent the weekend drinking, and when that hadn't worked to numb the pain, I'd finally come up with a plan. I'd use his weakness against him as a way to get back into his good graces.
"Crap!" Trace yelped as her necklace caught on her hair. She twisted around in a circle while other students shuffled by.
Damn, I hated her. Because she was the reason he wanted nothing to do with me. An innocent girl with brown hair, a girl who, by all means, shouldn't even be at that shitty school.
What was it about her that made him go all protective?
Why was she different?
Why did she have both Nixon and Chase panting?
She was pretty.
But that's where it ended. I'd stopped looking at women as objects of desire, only a means to an end. Damn, I couldn't even touch a girl without being repulsed at my own fingertips grazing her skin.
The necklace she was battling clattered to the floor.
"Allow me," I whispered, reaching down and picking up the necklace. Light from the window flashed against the metal.
Alfero.
One word.
I steeled my expression and managed to mumble, "Pretty."
"Thanks." She held out her hand, her chest rising and falling as if she'd just run a marathon.
"What? I can't be nice?" I smiled and flipped the necklace over. It was Alfero alright. It even had the family crest. Well, son of a bitch. He was protecting the enemy. How… cute. "Hmm, pretty cool. Family heirloom or something?"
"I guess." She shrugged, her nostrils flaring as if she was upset I was touching her shit.
I nodded and plopped the cool metal object into her hands.
She took a step back as if I was going to hit her or something.
"I don't bite, you know."
"No, you just drug girls." Her eyes were cold when they met mine, and they reminded me again why Nixon was the winner in this scenario and I, the loser. I hated the look she gave me because it was the one I would give myself. Hell, it was the look I gave myself every damn day.
My stomach clenched as I held up my hands in front of me. "I guess I deserved that, but are you really going to side with the same guy who last week embarrassed you in front of the entire student body?"
She took a step back and shrugged. "He apologized."
"Nixon Abandonato apologized to a farm girl from Wyoming?" I sneered, irritated that he was always going to be the good guy… and me? Well, I was the exact opposite. Had this girl any idea what we actually did for a living — what we were capable of? She wouldn't be running into his arms. She'd be running away from them. I wasn't the only monster in this story — he was just as bad. Yeah I did horrible things, but so did he. So did all of them. Why the hell was I taking the fall?
She nodded confidently, like Nixon freaking hung the moon and the stars. The sickening feeling got worse… like I was the bad guy, when all I'd ever done my entire life was try to be good. And look where it got me.
Screwed.
On the outside looking in.
No friends.
No family.
A nobody.
"Hmm." I crossed my arms. "Now, why does that sound suspicious?"
"What, that he'd be nice to me?" Her head snapped up.
"No. That he'd apologize to a nobody." I was being an ass, but she had to see how odd it looked. A man like Nixon apologized to no one. Hell, he didn't even apologize to me, and I mattered a lot more than her. An Alfero.
"A nobody?" Her nostrils flared. "At least today when I eat lunch, I'll be sitting with the Elect. Where will you be?"
Pain sliced through my chest at her truthful statement. "Don't you worry your pretty little head where I'll be… but good to know whose side you're on. It makes what I have to do so much easier."
I would ruin her.
Gladly.
Because in the end she didn't belong in our lives. He would see it, eventually, and then I'd be accepted back into the fold where I belonged, the only place I'd ever belonged.
It was her fault I'd been kicked out.
She was an Alfero, she was the enemy, and Nixon needed to see that. My stomach clenched. I didn't want to hurt her. God knows I'd done my fair share of terrifying the female sex, but all I felt was anger when I looked at her. All I saw was rage. She was just another object, another female trying to exert power over me.
Just like the women my father had chosen over me.
Like the women I'd raped in hopes he'd finally approve of me.
She was just like them.
A jezebel.
Evil.
Corrupt.
My vision blurred with hatred. I smirked, offering her a salute, and walked off in the other direction, clenching my fists to keep from barreling them into a wall.
She'd pay.
They'd all pay.