His hopeless words were like an arrow that pierced through all the pieces of my shattered heart. I remembered how despondent I was when I thought there was nowhere to turn to for help for Opal and me. I could feel the weight of the world pressing down on me from every direction back then. My circumstances were a cage I was sure I was going to be trapped in forever. No way out was the reality I pushed against every minute of every day. When Boyd Warner stepped in and offered me an escape, it was the first time in my entire existence I felt free. There was no way I couldn’t at least offer Bauer the same kind of key so that he could escape his very familiar prison.
I walked over to him and nudged his shoulder with mine. “Hey. I want to talk to you about something important.” I looked over at Mikey who was openly staring at my ass. I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers to get his attention. “Can you give us a minute? I want to talk to your brother alone. I’ll help you clean up this mess when we’re done, and I’ll have Ten and Lane bring us all something to eat when they’re released from the hospital.”
The surly young man begrudgingly agreed, disappearing down a short hallway and into what I assumed was his bedroom.
I tugged Bauer over to the slashed couch and searched around for a place that seemed like it still had enough stuffing in it for us to sit. Perching gingerly on the edge, I pulled him down next to me and gave him a smile that I was sure had my heart, and my intentions stamped all over it. He’d finally fessed up and told the pretty police officer that he was only fourteen. Knowing how young he was, yet seeing how ancient and tired his eyes looked, it was a struggle to find the words to describe how heavy the pain from my past was. I didn’t want to weigh him down with more than he already had on his plate, but he needed to know there was another door he could walk through, and that there was so much more than what he was used to waiting on the other side of it.
“When I was seventeen my mother had a boyfriend who liked to gamble. He was a drunk and mean, but he left me and my little sister alone for the most part as long as we stayed out of his way. All I wanted to do was turn eighteen so I could get out of that trailer that was rusting away on the reservation. I was kind of like Mikey because I was convinced that once I was the legal age, I could get my sister out of there and take care of her as well. I had so many plans, but they all fell apart.”
I twisted some of my hair around my finger and let the memories drag me back to a place I swore I would never revisit. “I had no idea how powerless I really was. The boyfriend lost more than he could afford to lose on the Super Bowl and made a deal with his bookie. He sold me, promised me to the man he owed money to like I was currency. He drugged me and was handing me off for payment when social services showed up to check on my sister. Someone at her school finally noticed something wasn’t right. They saved my life that night, but if they had been five minutes later, I would have been in the exact same situation as you just were.”
Bauer was watching me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. I nodded to show him that I understood how similar we really were. “The problem was that I knew there was little anyone could do to keep the system from giving us back to my mother. Where I come from they want Native kids with Native parents, even if those parents are entirely unfit. That boyfriend went to jail, but what about the next one, and the one after that? I had no idea what I was going to do, and I was terrified.”
“What happened?” His voice was breathless and scared for me.
“The Warner’s happened. Lane and I were best friends, but I was deeply, madly in love with him. I always have been. When he heard what happened, he showed up at the hospital where they were pumping my stomach to try and get rid of the drugs in my system. He had a cheap gumball machine ring he got from a gas station. He asked me to marry him. He told me I never had to go back to the trailer, that I could come live with him and he would make sure my mother never got anywhere near me again.”
Bauer gasped and looked pointedly at my ringless finger. “But you’re not married? When you picked me up, you were just friends.” His confusion was evident.
My smile wavered slightly, and I felt all those old feelings start to swirl around under the surface. “No, we’re not. Lane wanted to take care of me, but he didn’t love me, or at least he didn’t know he loved me back then. We were so young, and my family was such a mess there was no way I wanted to drag him into all of that. I was trapped, I didn’t want him stuck with me. And I had my sister to think about. Even if I married Lane and got everything I ever wanted, what was I going to do about her? I couldn’t leave her behind.”
He nodded and started to chew on his lower lip. “You’re a good sister.”
“I try to be. Anyway, when I was getting ready to give up all hope, when I was resigned to spending another year stuck in my own personal hell, Lane’s dad approached me and offered me a way out. He told me that he was sick. His doctors only gave him a couple years max to live. He knew what was going on at home and he knew Lane had been willing to sacrifice his entire future to get me out of that situation. He also knew how worried I was about my sister, so he made me a deal. He told me I could marry him and take his name. I could live on the ranch, and he would make sure my mother no longer put my sister in danger. I remember asking him what in the world he got out of the situation, and all he said was ‘I want my last days on this Earth to matter.’ He gave me a way out, and he changed my life. I knew it was going to hurt Lane and change our relationship forever, but I couldn’t walk away from everything his father offered. If Lane’s dad hadn’t stepped in, I would be dead, Bauer. I have no doubt about it, and I don’t even want to think about what would have happened to my sister.”
“That’s amazing. I never knew there were people like that in the world until I met you and Lane.” His wonder and amazement were clear in both his voice and his expression. I hated that basic human decency was so foreign to him.
“The whole Warner clan is pretty special, and I’m so lucky I get to call them my family. The point is I wouldn’t be here if someone who could help, hadn’t. I want to help you, Bauer. I want to give you a way out like someone gave to me. I want you to see that you have options, and people willing to make sure you succeed. I know you love your brother and that he sacrificed a lot for you, but he’s still so young. He’s going to have his hands full making it on his own, add in caring for someone else and that might be enough to break him. He loves you, but loving and taking care of are two very different things.” I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I can do both in my sleep. I can love you and care for you without even thinking twice about it. I also understand where you’re coming from, I know how hard it is to move on from everything you’ve been through. I would love for you to come home with me, Bauer. Come to Wyoming. Come to the ranch. Come be part of my family. Let me show you how good it feels to be safe, how amazing it is when you don’t go to bed afraid that you might not wake up. I promise you will be surrounded by people you can count on. You will have so many adults trying to help you that you’ll have to remind them you’re more than capable of doing things for yourself. It’s your turn to escape.”
The more I talked, the wider his eyes got and the faster his breathing became. His face alternated between blushing bright red and leeching to an almost gray color. His unreadable eyes were flashing too many emotions for me to name and when his lower lip started to tremble, I knew what his answer was going to be before he said a word.
He ripped his sullen gaze away, fastening his eyes on the floor. Slowly and deliberately he turned his body away from mine, and I could see him shutting down. His thin shoulders hunched over and he wrapped his trembling arms around his middle like he was giving himself a hug.
“I can’t go with you, Brynn. My brother gave up everything so I could be here. He’s the only person who’s always come through for me.” His loyalty was admirable but wholly misplaced.
“I don’t doubt that Mikey wants to give you a fresh start. What I question is his ability to pr
ovide that not only for you but for himself as well. He seems like a decent kid, but he’s still just a kid. The last thing I want is for you to fall back on the one way you know you can get by if times get hard. I don’t want you to have to make desperate choices anymore, Bauer. I want you to have the time and space to grow up, to learn to be the man you were always meant to be before your parents robbed you of that opportunity.” I was pleading with him, but I could tell it wasn’t getting me anywhere. He felt that he owed it to Mikey to stick around. He was taking on the responsibility of getting his older brother on his feet, considering he’d already been forced to figure out surviving on his own.
“I’ll be okay. It means a lot that you offered everything you have to me, Brynn. You saved my life, and a bunch of other kids too. Lane’s dad did more than just turn your life around when he made that deal with you, he put the wheels in motion so that you could be a lot of other kids’ guardian angel the way he was for you.” He shrugged and climbed to his feet. I watched as he shoved his hands down into his front pockets, still refusing to meet my gaze. “We’ve only known each other a handful of days. You think I’m worth saving, that I deserve a better kind of life, but you don’t know me very well. I told you when we first met that I wasn’t a good person, if I were I would have found another way to get by all these years. I’ve stolen things, I’ve lied and cheated. I’ve stood by silently while people I cared about were hurt and did nothing to stop it. I’m not like you, Brynn. You worried and sacrificed for your sister, you’ve put yourself in danger for my safety, and the only person I tried to take care of when I was out on the streets, is me.” He looked away as he chewed on his lower lip so violently I was worried he was going to draw blood. “If I went home with you, eventually you would figure out I’m not worth the effort of trying to save. I think you should help someone who deserves it, someone who earned it, who earned you.”
I climbed to my feet ready to keep fighting with him, but I could see how close he was to breaking. He wasn’t telling me no because he wanted to. He was turning me down because he had to. At least that was what he believed.
“Find one of the good people Lane keeps telling me about. I know they’re out there now. Offer them a chance to start over. They’ll appreciate it and won’t screw it up like I would. I’ll never forget you, Brynn. I mean that.”
He turned to walk away, but I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. I captured him in a hug so tight that it made him squeak. When I let him go, I pointed a shaking finger at him and told him flatly, “I’m having Lane bring you a phone before we go. I’ll be checking in on you every week. If you need help with anything, you will ask. If you and your brother are struggling financially, you will ask for help. I pay my mother every single month to make sure she keeps her nose clean and all her garbage boyfriends away from my sister, I’ll do the same for you. No more turning tricks in truck stops. You’re going to school and acting like a normal teenager. Do you understand me?”
I fully intended to give Mikey the same lecture. Where Bauer would never want to take advantage of my kindness, I had no doubt his squirrely, immature brother would.
“I’m not abandoning you. Not now, not ever. Okay?” After everything, he had to believe I wouldn’t walk away…didn’t he?
Finally, after what felt like forever, I got the tiniest nod in response.
“Okay.” He sounded as broken as my heart felt. We were in so many pieces I had no clue how either of us was ever expected to be put back together again. There wasn’t enough glue in the world for a project that big. Luckily love seemed to do the trick. It held all those sharp, jagged shards in place and filled up all the gaps where thoughtless, cruel people had stolen chunks of our souls.
I was going to have to work extra hard to let this lonely, stubborn boy know I had an endless supply to give to him.
There was no giving up on anyone I loved. If I had done that I never would have ended up where I was always meant to be—by Lane Warner’s side.
Chapter 17
Lane
Fast or Slow
I had Brynn’s long hair wrapped around my fist like a rope, and I was using it to pull her head back. The arch of her spine as I powered into her from behind was erotic as hell and the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. She was on her hands and knees on the edge of the bed in front of me, panting my name in time to each hard thrust. She had fingerprints on her hips from my other hand holding her in place as I made sure she knew she was mine over and over again. It was a good thing we were no longer sharing this wing of the house with Sutton and Daye, because I was making it my mission in life to make sure her screams and moans could be heard through the thick, wooden walls.
She turned her head on a gasp and looked at me over her shoulder with passion-glazed eyes as I hit the spot inside of her that made her entire body quiver beneath mine. I felt the happy vibrations rock through my cock, and the pleasure made my balls tighten and had the stirrings of my impending orgasm swirling along my spine. Since she was looking at me, I bent over her back and dropped a quick, sloppy kiss on the corner of her open mouth. The move had her giggling, which tightened her sweet, slippery center around the unbelievably hard length of my cock. I spent as much time inside of her as I could since we got back to the ranch. I took my time with her, learning every inch of her body, searching out all her most sensitive and responsive places, but some days all I wanted to do was get inside of her and get us both off as quickly as possible. It was a heady rush making her eyes roll back in her head, and getting her body to go pliant and soft under mine within minutes.
This morning was one of the times we were in a hurry not because we wanted to be, but because we had to be. Cy put me back to work the minute I had my boots back on the ranch. Business was backed up with both Sutton and me being gone, and with Webb taking off to help with Bauer, my older brother was so deep in rebooking and rescheduling rides before the winter, he couldn’t see daylight. While I wanted time to bask in the new relationship glow and to savor the rightness of finally having the only woman I’d wanted to keep forever in my bed every single night, I couldn’t ignore my responsibilities anymore. I was scheduled for three back-to-back, overnight rides and one that would take me through the weekend. I was going to be out on the range with tourists, teaching them how to fish and showing them all the wonders of the Wyoming wilderness, which I typically loved. It was less appealing than it always had been now that I had someone I was so wrapped up in waiting back at the main house for me.
Brynn needed to get up so she could get breakfast going for the guests and take care of packing the lunch I was taking with us to eat down by the river, but I wasn’t done with her until we were both sweaty and satisfied. I wanted her too weak to move when this was over.
I dragged my bristly chin across her smooth shoulder and kissed the top of her spine. Standing back up, I let go of my hold on her hair and moved my hands to either side of her perfectly rounded ass. I loved the way it moved and bounced against my hammering hips. She had the prettiest skin, and it looked so good a little red and slightly marked from my hands and mouth. I slipped my thumbs along the delicate crease in front of me and grinned when she swore under her breath, body jerking in surprise. She was soaked, moisture coating my cock and making every glide in and out slippery and slick. She had to be close, I could feel it. I hoped she was because I wasn’t going to last longer with those noises she was making filling the early morning. I was such a sucker for this woman. The littlest things she did turned me inside out. She was my ultimate weakness. She always had been, but now that I knew exactly what it was that I was missing, I knew she was the one person in the world who could undo me. I also knew that each and every time she forced me to unravel she would put me back together with the utmost care.
She muttered my name and started to move back against my thrusts with more urgency as I dipped my thumbs into that sweet, secret valley and used the pads to gently trace the super sensitive spot hidden there. Brynn wasn’t shy when it came to
sex, something that was initially surprising considering all of her negative experiences around the subject in her youth. She was open to most anything, and yes, she liked it when I hurt her just a little bit. She also didn’t question me when I wanted to play with other parts of her besides the glorious spot between the center of her centerfold legs.
“No better way to wake up, Brynn.” I groaned as she rotated her hips in such a way that made me practically swallow my tongue.
“Gives new meaning to rise and shine.” She let out a garbled laugh and let her arms collapse, taking her upper half to the bed and driving my dick even deeper inside of her. I felt her break around me, body tightening and pulsing where we were joined. My dick kicked happily, and I swore it hardened even more as her release triggered mine. My orgasm burned quick and bright. Sending hot sparks of satisfaction popping along my skin. Nothing would ever compare to being inside this woman with nothing between us. It didn’t matter how long it had taken me to get here, it was the place I knew I was meant to be.
I rolled to the side, so I didn’t crush Brynn as I collapsed on the bed beside her. We were both shiny with sweat and covered in the scent of sex and lingering sleep. She blinked heavy eyes, as her slow, satisfied grin imprinted itself on my mind. The way she looked at this moment was going to be one of my favorite memories, one I pulled out when I wondered why someone as special and resilient as she was, tied herself to someone as foolish and scared as me.
“I missed seeing you smile.” I reached out a finger so I could move a piece of hair out of her face. Leaving Denver without Bauer had been incredibly hard for both of us. When she told me that she offered to bring him with us, I couldn’t say I was surprised. She knew the kid for less than a week, but there was so much of her history in his story, it seemed like they were cut from the exact same cloth. She knew him, and he knew her in a way that transcended time. Watching her already fragile heart try and find room for this new pain felt like it was going to kill me. I wanted to make it better for her because that was my job, it always had been, but there was no way to do that.