She looked up at him—eyes so similar in shade to Aggie’s that it was a bit disturbing—and then pinched his cheek hard before trotting into the open door of the chapel with her umbrella still in hand.
Had he just had a moment with Aggie’s mother? Maybe she’d stop calling him Maynard now.
Heads turned as he walked up the aisle. He knew he should greet the people in attendance and thank them for flying thousands of miles to witness his wedding, but he was afraid that if he focused on anything but the pulpit at the end of the aisle, he’d either come down with a case of the dry heaves or Eric would get to tease him for the rest of his life for actually fainting at his own wedding. Why couldn’t he be infallibly confident like the other guys of Sinners? None of them had been this nervous on their wedding days. Or if they had, they’d hidden it well.
“You were supposed to come in the back,” someone at his elbow said.
“I was?” He was so light-headed he wasn’t even sure who was talking to him or what the woman meant by “come in the back.” Sounded kind of kinky.
“Are you feeling unwell, Mr. Seymour? You look a bit pale.”
He glanced at the woman and recognized the wedding planner, Charity.
She smiled kindly and took his hand, which he recognized was like ice only when she patted his frigid fingers between her warm palms.
“A tad nervous?” she asked.
He swallowed and nodded.
“You perform music in front of thousands of fans, don’t you?”
He nodded again, and stared at her cream-colored lapel. There was a small ruby flower pinned there, and it gave him something to concentrate on other than the backflips his stomach insisted upon doing.
“How do you deal with that?”
“I hide,” he said, and his mouth twitched in an attempted smile.
“But those are strangers. These are your friends. Would you be nervous in front of them at a gathering?”
“Probably not,” he admitted.
“And that’s what this is, Jace. It’s just a gathering of your friends. It’s just a bit more formal than most gatherings.” She leaned close and whispered, “Some say imagining them all in their underwear helps.”
“I’d rather just not look at them.”
“Whatever gets you through this,” she said agreeably. “But when that wedding march begins, you will look at your bride. Promise me that.”
At the mention of his bride, Jace’s vision tunneled.
“Jace?”
He gave himself a hard mental shake. “I promise,” he said quietly.
“Don’t forget.”
He nodded mutely. He didn’t have long to stand in front of the crowd and perspire. Within minutes, a harp began to play. His head jerked up, and his gaze fixed on the head of the aisle, but he was disappointed to find it wasn’t Aggie standing there. Dare Mills was headed in his direction with Starr on his arm. Jace took a deep breath and watched the pair approach, hoping Dare couldn’t tell that he was freaking out. He craved the man’s respect and owed him a world of gratitude. Perhaps that was why it startled him so completely when Dare slapped him hard in the shoulder.
“Buck up, bro,” he said with a devilish grin. “This isn’t your execution.”
Starr laughed, and Dare shook off her clinging hold so they could separate and go to opposite sides of the pulpit. The rest of the bridal party entered two at a time. Each member of his groom’s party whopped him a good one as they passed. Brian punched him in the gut. Sed slapped him on the back of the head. Trey, with tears-streaming-Tabitha on his arm, gave Jace’s nose a hard yank. Jace was a bit confused by their physical retaliation until the final pair approached. Eric didn’t stop at a slap in the arm or a jab in the ribs; he released his wife’s hand so he could put Jace in a headlock and rub his bony knuckles over Jace’s scalp.
“Feeling better?” Eric asked when he released him.
“Huh?”
“You looked like you were about to pass out there for a minute.”
And he’d been effectively distracted by the mild physical pain they’d each delivered. It had kept him on his feet. So Eric had instructed the guys to knock him around? It had worked. Jace no longer felt like he was going to faint. He’d have to remember to thank Eric later with an equal number of physical blows.
The first chords of the bridal march began and everyone stood to have a look at the bride. With his heart thudding like a jackhammer against his ribs and his knees a bit on the wobbly side, Jace forgot to breathe. Then Aggie stepped into view, and breath didn’t seem to matter anyway.
Everything around him faded into the background as she took a step closer and then another. With each step, his heart swelled larger and larger until he feared he’d suffocate. He’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Her long black hair had been artfully arranged around a small sparkling tiara. Curled tendrils framed her face. Her beautiful, smiling face. Oh, Aggie. His Aggie.
There was so much love in her expression that he felt it tugging at his chest until he couldn’t resist its pull and his feet started carrying him toward her. There were a few delighted chuckles from the spectators, so somewhere in his addled thoughts he knew he was doing something out of place, but it felt right to meet her in the middle. It felt right to touch her cheek when she was standing before him. Felt right to get lost in her brilliant blue eyes. Felt right to finally suck a decent breath into his lungs before leaning toward her and kissing her soft lips.
“Tripod,” he heard Eric call from the front of the church. “You’re doing it wrong.”
Maybe. But it felt right. She felt right. From the moment he’d seen her dancing at Paradise Found in Vegas, the woman had felt right—as if she’d been designed exclusively for him. And he knew he’d never feel right again if he ever lost her.
Their lips lingered, parting slowly as he drew away and opened his eyes. She smiled and touched his cheek.
“Did you lose yourself there for a moment?” she asked.
“Found myself,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
She tilted her head slightly, her smile brightening. “Do you want to marry me now?”
He nodded eagerly, his cheeks aching from the smile that couldn’t possibly reflect the immense joy trying to burst from him. He took her hand and placed it in the crook of his elbow as they walked the rest of the aisle together. He was glad she was paying attention to where they were going, because he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She halted unexpectedly and tugged at his elbow to get him to stand beside her.
Someone cleared his throat loudly, and Jace dragged his gaze from Aggie’s face to the priest who was staring at him with one eyebrow raised. Jace licked his lips and tried to swallow, but his mouth had suddenly gone dry.
“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” the priest asked.
“Yes,” Jace said, unable to stop himself from stealing another glance at her. Wow. Even the gaudy gold-foiled plastic heart dangling from her necklace looked perfect. He knew it was the only token she had of her father’s and was glad she’d thought to wear it today no matter how much it contrasted with the rich fabric of her white gown.
“Do you think you can keep your wits about you long enough to marry her?”
“God, I hope so,” he said, still staring at his bride.
Aggie released a soft laugh, and a blush tinged her cheeks pink as she stared down at the bouquet of black roses she held at waist level.
Jace no longer felt nervous. Or self-conscious. He felt proud. Confident. As if he could tackle even the most daunting task—including speaking about mushy feelings in front of his peers—as long as Aggie was beside him.
“Take each other’s hands and turn to face one another,” the priest instructed.
Aggie handed off her bouquet to Rebekah, who arranged the long train of Aggie’s gown for her, and then she offered her hands to Jace. He took them in his, noting that they were trembling slightly. He lifted her hands to his
lips and kissed her knuckles reverently before dropping his head forward to press the backs of her hands to his forehead. He loved this woman—worshipped her—and he really didn’t care who knew. In fact, he wanted them all to witness his devotion and recognize it for what it was.
The priest cleared his throat again and Jace reluctantly straightened. The tears swimming in Aggie’s eyes as she offered him a tremulous smile squeezed at parts of his soul he’d thought he’d surrendered to pain long ago.
“You’ve made me whole again,” he said.
A single tear coursed down her cheek. She bit her lip, her thumbs stroking his fingers, sending sparks of pleasure and awareness between them. Incapable of maintaining any distance between them with her looking so shaken and vulnerable, Jace released his loose hold on her hands and pulled her into his arms. Much better, he thought as she melted against him. His fingers found a crisscrossing ribbon down the length of her back. It reminded him of the lacings of one of her corsets, only more delicate. Later he was definitely going to have to take a moment to admire her wedding gown before he stripped it off her.
“You’re not good at taking orders, are you, Mr. Seymour?” the priest said.
Jace wasn’t the least bit sorry for not following protocol, so he didn’t bother to apologize.
“You have no idea how right you are,” Starr Lancaster said from the end of Aggie’s line of bridesmaids.
“One of his best qualities,” Aggie murmured and dropped a kiss on the sensitive pulse point in his throat.
He reluctantly loosened his hold so he could stare into his bride’s eyes and prevent himself from getting overly aroused in front of God and everyone.
“Can I proceed with the ceremony, or shall I wait until you’ve fondled her a little more?”
He’s just jealous, Jace thought, grinning deviously at Aggie.
“You shouldn’t have given him options, Father,” Eric said. “Any man in his place would choose fondling without ceremony.”
“Eric!” Rebekah hissed a warning and glared at him over Aggie’s shoulder.
“Just stating a fact,” Eric said.
Jace chuckled along with his wedding guests, but he turned to look at the priest. “Proceed. I’ll save most of my fondling for later.”
When the priest turned back to his Bible to continue, Jace lowered his hands and gave Aggie’s ass a firm squeeze. She squeaked in surprise.
“I said most,” he whispered.
“Do you know what I do to naughty boys?” Aggie whispered in his ear. She wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to the formality of the priest’s speech either.
“Mmm hmm,” he murmured, doing his damnedest to listen to the priest’s inspired words and not let his mind wander to all sinful things he knew Aggie did to naughty boys.
Jace was lost in a haze of possibility when the priest said, “Do you have any words you’d like to share with each other?”
Jace froze, his heart rate doubling in an instant. Aggie looked at him expectantly, and he couldn’t remember the words he’d wanted to say to her. Not a one. Luckily, she knew him well. While the priest rubbed the edges of his Bible impatiently and the crowd shifted in their seats and the wedding party drummed their fingers and twiddled their thumbs, Aggie patiently waited for him to find his voice.
The priest cleared his throat. “I could—”
“Shh,” Aggie interrupted the priest’s attempt to move the ceremony forward. “Wait.”
Jace concentrated on her face, allowing everything but her to fade into the background. It wasn’t difficult; she was more radiant than the sun. All things paled in comparison. As he stared at her, his pulse slowed, his thoughts focused, and he found himself in that perfect headspace that at one time he’d only been able to find after he’d suffered enough physical pain to blot out the emotional agony he didn’t think he’d ever escape. But he had escaped it. And he had to tell her how much that meant to him—how much she meant to him. He took a deep breath and forced the words from that wounded place inside him that he’d never revealed to anyone but her.
Chapter Thirteen
Aggie could see that Jace was struggling to find his voice. And she was struggling with a powerful protective instinct—the one that no one brought out in her more than Jace did. Part of her wanted to let him off the hook and not make him say whatever he’d thought it was she should hear from him on their wedding day. But the wiser part of her knew he needed to do this for himself more than for her.
She couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d met her halfway down the aisle. She wasn’t even sure if those dozen steps in her direction held the same significance to him that they did to her. They were partners. Lovers. Friends. They always met in the middle. That’s why when he’d looked at her, kissed her, and touched her in the middle of the aisle with absolute reverence, she’d fallen to emotional pieces. As a dominatrix, she was used to men worshipping her, but in her head and her heart, Jace had always been her equal. So when he showed utter adoration in front of a hundred witnesses, the gesture meant something. Hell, it meant everything. She still had a fucking knot in her throat.
“I’ve been trying to find the right thing to say to you for months,” he said at last. “I never did find perfect words, but I ran out of time to come up with something better, so you’ll have to forgive me if I botch this.”
She wanted to tell him she knew whatever he said would be perfect to her, but was afraid if she interrupted, he’d stop talking.
“My entire life people have only see pieces of me,” he said, his voice strong and unwavering. “Some see what they want to see. My mother only saw the parts of me that stood in the way of her dreams. My father looked at me and saw nothing but loss and pain and rebellion. My first love, Kara…” He swallowed. “Kara saw adventure and recklessness, the bad boy in me.”
These were all people Jace had lost before he’d become a man, but Aggie knew how much they’d shaped him. Correction: had shaped pieces of him. But not the whole of him. The whole of him was amazingly resilient and talented and compassionate and loving. And hers.
Jace pushed on. “Some see what I let them see. My boxing coaches see the violence that needs an outlet. Past dommes saw the perversion that twists my perceptions of pain and of pleasure. Fans, they see the music that burns within. To my band, I’m still the new guy who just wants to be accepted as one of them and can’t help but worship them to this day. To my cat, I’m a provider and a somewhat entertaining plaything. But you, Aggie, you’re different. You see all of me. The best pieces and the worst. Everything in between. You worked so hard to get all my pieces to fit together like the world’s most frustrating puzzle.”
She smiled. That was exactly what he’d been like at the beginning, and his insight amazed her.
“I didn’t think I was worth the trouble. I was so damaged. So broken. And I didn’t even realize it.”
She shook her head and squeezed his hands. She’d never seen him that way. Lost. Confused. Hurt. But not broken.
“Despite my best defenses, you persisted relentlessly to make me whole. And you could. You could. Do you know why?”
Not trusting her voice, she shook her head.
“Because you saw all the pieces. Even the pieces I didn’t want you to see. You saw them all and accepted them. You put me back together one piece at a time until I realized there was only one piece missing. The piece that holds all the rest together.”
She stared at him wide-eyed as she steeled herself for whatever bombshell he was about to drop on her. Something he’d managed to hide from her all this time. She was sure whatever it was, she could handle it. She just wished he’d picked a better place to tell her about that one missing piece.
He smiled gently and squeezed her hands.
“You, Aggie. You’re the piece that holds me together. The missing piece that made me whole. You, Aggie.”
She sucked her trembling lips between her teeth.
“I’ll probably never understand
what you saw in me. What kept you from giving up when I fought so hard to push you away.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Thank you for being so strong and stubborn. So harsh and tender. Thank you for being you. For never giving up on me.”
Never, she mouthed.
“I only make one promise to you today, wife,” he said.
When he called her wife, she felt the power behind the word because he’d so clearly showed her what it meant to him just the day before. “I promise to love you with all of my pieces forever. I just don’t know how to love you any less.” He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, staring deeply into her eyes with that look of reverence on his face again. She could definitely get used to seeing it.
Someone in the pews began to clap. The enthusiasm for Jace’s words spread through the entire room until everyone was cheering. Jace turned his head slowly, as if surprised they weren’t alone. And maybe that was how he’d opened up to her the way he had. By