She reached into one of her desk drawers and whipped out a flashy pink tablet. “So when do I get my invite?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.
I stared at the tablet in surprise, while Hux chuckled. “I’ll get it sent out as soon as I return home,” he said.
“Good. I’m looking forward to seeing what discussions are already going on. This will be the talk of the day among the sisters during lunch and dinner hours, let me tell you. You’d better also send an invite to ImmortalSunshine, Blessed_Jemima, Jesus123, Courageous_Heart—”
Hux scrabbled to pull out his phone as she dictated a long list of handles, punching them all in and then nodding. “Okay. I’ll get through them all before tomorrow.”
“Thank you, dear.” Her focus then switched to me. “And who is this young lady you’ve brought with you today?”
Hux flashed me a glance. “She’s, uh, my colleague.”
“I see,” she said, eyeing me curiously.
“I’m Robin,” I offered, leaning forward to hold out my hand. “Nice to meet you.” I was eager to get in a few questions of my own about this place, and I hoped this was my opening.
“And you,” she replied, accepting my hand in a shake. “I take it this is your first time visiting here, as I don’t recall seeing your face before.”
“That’s right, Sister. I’m honestly quite in awe of what you’ve managed to do here. It’s very generous of you to put yourselves out like this.”
She gave me a solemn look. “It is our service to God. In His eyes, we are all equal, and He has given each and every one of us the right to raise our own. No manmade law should meddle with that. Justice must, and will, prevail by His grace, and we can but play our small part.” She then paused, a demure smile tugging at her lips. “In the meantime, I must admit we’re having quite the ball running rings around our esteemed governors.”
“In what way?” I asked, jumping on the opportunity. I knew these nuns were capitalizing (shamelessly, I might add) on the Burchard Regime’s reverence for them in order to keep mothers and children hidden, but I wanted to know more. For example, how grown-up children could be content to stay hidden here forever, plus how they handled the issue of males once they reached adolescence.
She looked to Hux. “I take it you haven’t told her much about our activities.”
“Robin knows you shelter women and children here,” he replied. “Otherwise nothing. Per the protocol.”
She sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Okay, well, we don’t dish out our secrets unless there’s an absolute necessity, so for now let’s just say we also have a way of helping adults reenter society, if they wish to.”
With that, she pursed her lips, leaving me to wonder if that meant these nuns had found some way to equip people with false identities. Maybe they even had their own sympathetic contact in the government who was able to forge documents. Because people born off the grid would need them if they wanted to have any chance of reintegrating with society.
It hit me then that maybe it was how Hux had gotten his ID. I mean, he had to have documentation, because he drove and, presumably, rented a place somewhere.
I could see how this kind of government contact could be incredibly valuable to our action group in a number of situations, and not just for children who needed IDs. It could potentially also help someone disappear, if enforcers ever caught on to them, and allow them to resurface with a new persona.
“I see,” I replied slowly, my mind reeling with the possibilities. If Hope and I could somehow get new documentation, then maybe we wouldn’t have to leave the country forever after all. I was still a way off from getting Hope back, but it was something to think about. Not just for myself, but for the families Nelson helped, too. They might at least appreciate the choice of staying over fleeing, even if they still chose the latter.
“And now,” Isobel said, turning back to Hux and drawing me out of my thoughts. It was definitely a subject for another time, given that Nelson and I would need to earn these nuns’ trust over the portal before we could be privy to further information. “I understand you’re also here to see your sister,” Isobel went on. “Sister Maria said she would escort you, so if we’re done here, you can head on down to the reception.”
“Thank you, Sister,” Hux said, rising to his feet and bowing his head respectfully. We headed to the door, and Hux was halfway through opening it when he stalled. “Wait. Which Maria?”
Isobel chuckled. “You’re right. There are far too many of them around here. Sister Maria Fergora is the one you need.”
“Okay,” he said. “Thanks again.”
She moved to the door to see us off, then closed it as we headed back down the corridor.
“Don’t you know the way to where your sister’s staying?” I wondered aloud, finding it odd that we’d need a guide.
“Yes, I do,” he replied. “But it’s not considered proper for a man to be wandering around here without an escort.”
“Ah.” I nodded, supposing it made sense.
Sister Maria F. was already waiting for us in the reception area when we arrived. She was a short, plump woman with a radiant smile and a hearty laugh. She engaged us in small talk all the way through the journey across the grounds, toward the shade of a sprawling orange grove, where several dozen cozy-looking bungalows were nestled. Though, I was mostly the one chatting back, as Hux was growing tense again.
When she stopped in front of Number 11, I realized it was our destination—and also doubted that it was a coincidence that the mothers’ and children’s quarters were in what seemed to be the most naturally shaded part of the compound. The nuns didn’t seem to be worried about the government sending a probe out here anytime soon, but with this setup, children could play outside beneath the groves without risk of being spotted from the sky.
Maria F. gave Hux her number and told him to call her when we were done, and then strode off through the grove, leaving us alone in front of the building. Hux took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the door. This was the culmination of a week of stress and tightly wound nerves, the moment he’d been losing sleep over.
I kept quiet, letting him do his thing, in preparation, and then watched as he walked up to the door and knocked gently, three times. He then stepped away, and I could see the backs of his shoulders heaving from the tension.
Luckily, he wasn’t left waiting for long, as a nun opened the door thirty seconds later.
“Oh, good day,” she said, her lips stretching into a wide smile, her pearly white teeth contrasting against her dark skin.
“Good day, Sister Gina,” he replied with forced brightness.
The woman’s face then turned serious, and she threw a glance back through the house over her shoulder. “So, I waited until last night to tell your sister you were definitely still coming,” she said in a lower tone. “Since I didn’t know how she’d react, and didn’t want the news to put her off during the school week.” She hesitated, giving Hux a concerned look. “She’s in her room and has been cagey all morning. You are of course free to try. And if you want my help with anything, give me a shout.”
Hux nodded stoically, while I absorbed her words. School week. I guessed that meant the nuns must run a little school for the kids out here.
Gina moved aside, allowing us to enter. Hux headed off down a hallway to our left, and I followed, keeping close to his heels. He stopped at the door right at the end of it, and then hesitated, his hands balling into fists.
I stood back, waiting for him to gather his thoughts and take a few breaths. He shrugged off his backpack and pulled out the gift, then raised a fist and knocked softly against the door.
A minute passed with no answer.
He knocked again.
Still no answer.
He knocked three more times in slow succession, and when the room beyond remained quiet, he tentatively gripped the handle and pulled downward. He entered cautiously, peering around the door and doing a sweep. I watched his eyes set
tle on something in one corner, and then he slowly left the door and moved deeper into the room.
I followed, entering the room just enough so that I could peer in. I spotted what Hux had: a young girl with straight, thick, black-brown hair trailing down her back sitting at a desk, in front of a pile of books. She was facing the window, a pencil in one hand.
I watched as Hux moved closer, until he was three feet away from her, and then he paused, coughing softly.
The girl still didn’t budge, acting as though she didn’t hear him.
“Hey,” Hux said gently. “It’s me.” He moved up to her and placed a hand on the back of her chair, then leaned against the desk so he could get a glimpse of her face. “Rhea,” he pressed, and I wondered if that was her real name—if he was trusting me with his sister’s name too. I really wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I pushed the thought aside for now.
“I don’t have to stay long,” he went on. “I just… I wanted to come wish you a happy eleventh birthday, and I brought you—”
“I never asked for presents,” she said suddenly, her voice sharp.
She stood up abruptly and moved over to her bed, flopping onto it and burying her head in the sheets. She hadn’t even looked at Hux or seen the pillow he was holding in his right hand.
Hux stalled, clearly recalibrating the situation and figuring out his next move. He glanced at me, and my eyes wandered tentatively back to the girl on the bed. Sighing, he approached the mattress, then sat down on the edge of it, careful to maintain some distance.
“I know,” he replied. “But what kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t bring you one anyway? Come on, at least take a look at what I’ve brought.”
She remained still, ignoring him.
He swallowed, glancing down at his lap. “Look, Rhea,” he said quietly, “I know how bad you’re hurting. Because I’m hurting just as much. But you gotta talk about it. You can’t stay bottled up like this, or you’ll drive yourself insane.”
There was a pause, and then she mumbled, “It’s your stupid fault.”
Pain flickered across Hux’s face, and he sucked in a breath, as though recovering from a punch to the gut. Then he nodded slowly. “I promised you something I never should have, and that was wrong. I… I let you down. But it doesn’t make what happened my fault, nor does it change the fact that I love you, and that I’m here for you no matter what.”
“If you loved me then you’d do what I asked and leave me alone,” she bit out.
“That wouldn’t be love, Rhea,” Hux replied, his voice tight. “And you know it. The more you push me away, the more you’re hurting yourself, and I can’t allow that to happen. I’m working hard to save up so that one day, you can move back in with me, because I know it’s what you want, even if you’re refusing to admit it. It’s what Mom and Dad would’ve wanted, too.”
“Don’t talk about Mom and Dad,” she growled. “They’d still be alive if you had just stayed back for them!” Her voice cracked, her cold façade breaking. Her warped version of reality shook me, but I saw now how deep her emotions ran. Like Hux had said, it wasn’t that she didn’t feel them, it was just that she didn’t know how to deal with them, how to release them. They got clogged up inside of her and shot out in all the wrong ways. She was raw and hurting, and it gave me a firmer conviction in Hux’s belief that if he could figure out the right button to push, he could free her of all this pent-up toxicity.
Hux’s expression darkened, and I could tell that it was taking everything he had to hold it together. “Okay, fine,” he managed after a moment, his voice thick. “I’ll leave you alone. Though I’m not the only one here. I brought someone with me.” He glanced my way.
The statement was enough to spike the young girl’s curiosity. She uncovered her head from the sheets and glanced at me, and I found myself gazing into the face of a pretty girl with narrow bone structure, a pert nose, pale skin, and the same deep amber irises as Hux. Her expression was stubborn, yet hollow, with dark shadows beneath her eyes, as though she’d been losing sleep at night, too.
After barely five seconds, she tucked her head back beneath the sheets. “Just leave,” she muttered, her cold tone returning. “I don’t want to see you or your visitors.”
I grimaced. So much for my presence “breaking the pattern.” I felt Hux had gotten close to something, though, a few moments before, when her emotions had risen to the surface, and now it felt like we were going backward. As Hux shifted closer to her on the mattress, somehow I just knew that attempting a physical route wasn’t going to end well. A different idea occurred to me, and before he could reach out and touch her, I waved a hand to get his attention.
He frowned, stalling, and then left the bed and moved over to me. I gripped his arm and pulled him out of the room, back into the corridor.
“I think the harder you push right now, the harder she’s going to resist,” I whispered, in a voice barely louder than a breath. “Just… why don’t you try leaving the gift on her mattress, and then come back out here and close the door.”
It seemed like a long shot, and I didn’t know that it would help at all. She could just toss the pillow in the trash without even looking at it. But as she was a young girl, I was banking on her at least being curious enough to take a peek.
And if she did that… given Hux’s reaction to the design, I felt it would at least encourage something positive in her. Something more positive than Hux attempting to manhandle her, anyway.
“Okay,” he murmured, his expression ashen as he returned to the room. He went over to the mattress as I’d suggested and planted the pillow down next to her head, then silently left the room, closing the door behind him. He looked back down at me, his eyes widening in question. “And now?” he whispered.
I hesitated, my eyes moving to the closed door. “I guess let’s just give her some space.”
He nodded reluctantly, and then we both stood silently, leaning against the walls on either side of the door. I knew what I was hoping would happen, but I was afraid to expect it in case it didn’t. But then, about a minute later, it did.
My ears picked up on the soft, barely audible sound of chuckling coming from behind the door. I immediately looked up at Hux, a wary smile creeping across my lips. His eyes sparked with hope, and we both inched closer to the door, pressing our ears to the cracks. The chuckling grew a little louder, until it became quiet laughter, and then it became louder still, until we didn’t need to press our ears to the door anymore to hear it.
It went on for almost a minute, until it became a full-on belly laugh, and I couldn’t help but chuckle quietly to myself, knowing the joke was at Hux’s expense. Not that he minded. He was having to suppress his own amusement, too. A grin had spread across his face, and he looked happier than I’d seen him all week.
And then something unexpected happened. The laughter stuttered, and transformed into a confusing combination of guffawing, snorting, and sniffling, and then, to my shock, it morphed into deep, racking sobs.
Hux’s smile disappeared as he stared at me, his face a mask of disbelief. “She’s crying,” he whispered hoarsely.
I nodded back, equally stunned. I hadn’t intended for the gift to have that effect on her. I’d only meant for it to make her laugh. But perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew that laughter could be a powerful thing, and it seemed it had been what was needed to finally budge the stopper that had been trapping her true emotions inside. Her gateway to the grief that was now pouring out of her in waves.
Hux and I sank to the floor, staring at each other. I felt tears prick my own eyes at the sound of her long-overdue mourning, her deep sobs growing louder and more intense. I felt her grief resonate within the very core of me.
Hux’s words dried up and he pressed his lips together, and I saw the glistening of tears in his own eyes. I looked down, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. We sat there for a while longer, just listening to her weeping, and then Hux rose slowl
y to his feet, and nodded toward the end of the corridor. I followed him there, and we paused just before the front door.
“It’s more progress than I’ve made in four months,” he said, his voice husky as he gazed down at me through glazed eyes. “And I don’t want to spoil it by going in there now. We’ll just leave her to process things, and I’ll see how she’s doing next week.”
I nodded. I had been planning to suggest the same thing. It wasn’t a good idea to intrude now, when she was in the middle of such deeply personal emotions. She needed space and time to mourn, the way she had never gotten a chance to. It would be a long and painful process, but ultimately it would free her.
He moved along the other end of the corridor and stopped outside a kitchen, where Gina was washing up dishes.
“Back so soon?” she asked as she noticed us, a surprised look on her face.
Hux nodded stoically. “I think it went well. She’s crying now, and you just need to leave her be for a while. Let things settle.”
“She’s crying?” Gina widened her eyes in alarm, as if it were a bad thing.
When Hux elaborated on his reasoning, however, she quickly saw it, and gave a bittersweet smile. “Of course.”
We took our leave, heading out the door and back into the grove. Hux fished for his phone in his pocket and was about to call Maria, when an urgent shout came from behind us.
“WAIT!”
We whirled around in confusion to see Rhea racing toward us, her feet bare and the pillow still clutched in one hand. Her face was a red and blotchy mess, her long hair flying wildly behind her, and tears were streaming down her cheeks in rivers as she headed straight for Hux.
She launched into his arms and bound her arms around his neck, pulling him close and latching onto him as if she were drowning. “I’m sorry, Jace,” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean what I said!”
Hux—Jace?—staggered back, not from the weight of the slight girl, but from the sheer surprise. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as heavy sobs continued to rack her body, and when Hux… Jace… got over the shock a moment later and hugged her back, I saw that his hands were trembling.