Present
The next few days pass quietly. Dora doesn’t want to listen to what I have to say about Jacob. She is adamant that it’s over between them. While going to the library, I search for him on campus, but it looks like he hasn’t come back to Braxton yet. The classes haven’t restarted, so I assume he’s preparing for exams at home.
People still stare at me when I hurry through campus, but now it is all about the fact that Oliver isn’t interested in me anymore.
As the end of the week approaches, Dora gets more depressed. She doesn’t seem to care about her exams. I’m starting to worry about her. In the end, I can’t concentrate on my own revision.
On Saturday, I can no longer stand Dora and the way she stares blankly at the wall. She stopped talking to me, and I hate seeing her in this state. My best friend has issues, but I’m convinced she and Jacob belong together. He’s the first guy she’s ever been with for more than a day. I can’t just let her throw this relationship away. It’s possible Jacob might be back, but he’s avoiding me.
When Dora leaves for the library for the first time in days, I sneak into her room in order to find Jacob’s address. He lives with Oliver, and I remember Dora has talked about their house being situated next to Grayson Park. My best friend is organised. All the phone numbers and addresses are on her pink notepad, so I don’t have to search long. I write down all the details I need and shove it down into my jeans pocket.
I put my jacket on and leave our apartment. It’s freezing outside and it’s getting dark when I reach Grand Avenue. It’s on the north side of town, filled with semi-detached houses. I bite my lips, looking for their house and wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Dora would kill me if she knew I got involved in her business. She’s miserable and stubborn, and I want to see her happy again.
After a twenty-minute walk, I locate the right house and stand on the other side of the street for a minute, contemplating what to say to Jacob. My stomach contracts almost painfully. I’m not only risking Dora’s friendship, but also the ceasefire with Oliver, because he might be inside. He made it clear he doesn’t want to be friends with me, and that’s fine, so I can’t push my luck.
Hesitating, I knock at his house and wait, feeling like I’m standing on pins and needles. My breathing gets heavier when I hear footsteps. A young student opens the door. He looks familiar, although we were never introduced. I remember him hanging out with Jacob a few times. He stands at the door, staring at me for a while, looking slightly surprised.
“Yes, are you lost?” he asks with his thick Scottish accent.
“Eee, yes… no… I’m here to see Jacob,” I say. After going through the initial shock that I don’t have to worry about Oliver, I flash him my beautiful smile. Back in high school, I used to be very good at flirting. I could always get what I wanted. I was Christian’s girlfriend and no one ever wanted to cross him. I used to hate myself for that, but it is time to use my charms to help Dora.
The light-haired bloke measures me up and down for at least half a minute before he responds.
“You wanna come in?” he asks, inviting me with a smile. I’m certain he does recognise me as one of Dora’s friends. That cynical smirk on his face easily gives him away.
“So is Jacob in?” I ask after I walk into a typical student-style living room with two black leather sofas. I smell burnt food and one glance around tells me only male students are occupants of this not-very-tidy house.
“No idea. He might be upstairs.”
“Is he back to Braxton? I’m just wondering why I haven’t seen him on campus.”
The guy scratches his head, convincing me more and more that he genuinely might not be one of the brightest.
“I came back yesterday, so I have no idea.”
“Do you actually know anything?” I can’t help but be sarcastic.
“Yeah, I know he wouldn’t mind if you showed up in his bedroom. He had lots of girls up there, but then he started going out with that loud, pretty girl and suddenly they all stopped coming.”
I’m glad to hear Jacob made the right decision after he started going out with Dora.
“Which room is his?” I ask.
“First one on the right,” he replies, and once I make my way upstairs, he adds, “Just avoid the room next to him… and oh, be quiet. Morgan seems to be in a bad mood today.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
With a sharp intake of breath, I start heading upstairs. I already got my answer. Oliver is at home, and according to his housemate, he’s in one of his moods. I make a mental note to avoid him at all costs. My mission is simple. Knock at Jacob’s room and convince him to talk to Dora.
This house has a least four bedrooms, and as I presume, most blokes don’t like to clean, as there is a lot of trash on the stairs. The door to the first bedroom on my right is shut.
I knock twice and wait. After a long moment of silence, I press my ear to the door, wondering if Jacob is sleeping or maybe he heard me downstairs and he doesn’t want to talk to me.
My intuition tells me to turn around and walk away. I can come back tomorrow to talk to him. Normally, I would listen to my intuition, but not today. I press the handle and open the door, peering inside. The curtains are shaded, but it looks like the bed is empty. The walls are bare and that tingle of warmth courses through the air, bringing a cold chill down my spine. The room is pretty tidy, despite what I’ve seen downstairs.
Then I hear movement behind me and that familiar cologne rolls over my skin. My mind starts registering memories that are associated with that smell. I turn around, swallowing hard, and my breath seizes in my chest when I see Oliver. His hair is soaking wet; water drips over his face, rolling down his chest. I dart my eyes downwards without even realising what I’m doing. It looks like Oliver just came out from the shower. His towel is wrapped tightly around his hips. My mouth goes dry in an instant as I follow the drips of water that vanish within the bulk of dark hair just below his belly button. Heat creeps over my neck, down between my breasts, when I finally lift my eyes. He looks completely startled, his eyes wide and beautiful. Then I realise I’m standing too close. My heartbeat becomes unsteady.
“India,” he says, but it’s barley a whisper. “What are you doing here?”
Okay, now I haven’t got any choice but to explain myself. On the other hand, I can’t seem to gather my thoughts. Long, tense silence stretches across the room and the air around us cracks with electricity. Every tiny hair on my arms and neck lifts, pulling me towards his body. I feel spellbound by his intense stare, crushed by his cruelty, and joyful at having him in front of me.
“I’m looking for… Jacob… Your housemate said he might be here,” I stutter like a pathetic idiot. “He explained that it was the first room on the right.”
Oliver’s eyes sparkle with mischief and warmth only for a split second or so before he is unreadable again. I try to swallow a large gulp in my throat, feeling the pulsing sensation between my legs. Oliver elicits something within me; my legs starts to shake and I imagine his lips on my skin.
His eyes are heavy on me, pinning me to the floor. His gaze consumes me with darkness, blocking away the light. My heart keeps pounding when the muscles on his shoulders tense.
“Karel is an arse. He smokes too much weed so he doesn’t even know what day of the week it is,” he explains.
I open my mouth to say something, but no sound comes out. I should have realised this wasn’t Jacob’s room. My breath seizes in my chest when Oliver’s eyes move down to my lips and then scan the rest of my body, measuring how far he can push me.
If I take a step forward, our bodies will touch, but I can’t seem to move.
The door is still open and I know I should get the hell out of this room before I do something I’ll regret later. I buried my feelings for him deep down, but Oliver can see through me. My shaky voice and body language indicate something is off. I’m off because he’s so close.
“Eee
, okay, I should be going, then,” I say quietly, trying to step away, but the connection between us is so strong and fierce. The image of us together in the laundry room flashes through my mind and heat creeps over my face again.
I inhale the smell of his shampoo and walk around him.
“Wait,” he says, touching my shoulder, and I stop abruptly at the entrance. That harsh indifferent tone of voice isn’t there anymore. “Why are you looking for Jacob?”
His touch is like an inferno. It burns my skin, and I’m doing everything I can to gain control of myself.
“He and Dora broke up. As usual, she behaved like an idiot. They’re both too proud to even talk about it.”
There, I told him, so he should let me go now instead of torturing me. When our eyes meet again, he looks concerned.
“You want to fix them. That’s what you’re trying to do?”
“Jacob is the only guy for her. Dora won’t apologise even if she was in the wrong,” I explain. “I want to help them find their way to each other again.”
“You can’t fix what’s broken. You can try, but—”
“Oh, there you are, sweetie. I’ve been calling you for ages,” says a girl that just appears by the stairs, cutting Oliver off in midsentence. She looks at me with a surprise. Oliver turns around, pulling away his hand, and that concerned look on his face disappears.
“Rhian, what are you doing here?” he asks, frowning. I stand there, still immobile, and watch as this beautiful girl comes up to him and places a gentle kiss onto Oliver’s lips. A river of jealousy sweeps over me, and I clench my fists, breathing hard. I recognise her. It’s the girl from the club from the night when Dora punched Mackenzie. Rhian moves her eyes from his perfect chest and looks at me.
“Oh, hello. Who are you?” she asks. Obviously, she completely forgot that we met.
“No one. I’m no one important,” I snap and start walking downstairs, avoiding Oliver’s eyes. I can feel his gaze following me until I’m out of the house. When the fresh air hits my lungs, I clench my teeth, breathing in and out. I have to stop torturing myself like this. I don’t have any future with Oliver, so why am I reacting like this?
It’s been few days since our last conversation and nothing has changed. He might have forgiven me, but we are never going to be close.
I start walking towards the campus, attempting to control my racing heart and cursing under my breath. Oliver doesn’t want to ruin my life anymore, but as he said, he will never forget what I did.
“Hey, India!”
It’s Jacob, so I push my emotions aside and place a smile on my face.
“Hey, glad I bumped into you,” I say.
Jacob doesn’t seem to be too keen to talk to me, and it’s is making it hard for me to explain I’m here of my own accord and Dora didn’t send me. When he eventually let’s me talk, I pour out everything I’ve been holding in about my best friend. He doesn’t want to listen at first, but when I talk about how she used to be in the past, he looks interested. We talk a bit more, but Jacob doesn’t seem to be convinced he should give Dora another chance.
After my long and awkward speech, I leave him and head home, erasing the image of half-naked Oliver out of my mind.
Then I decide to wait, knowing I did my bit. Now it’s up to them to decide what they want.
Present
It looks like Dora won’t be single after all. It took Jacob a week and a half to finally talk to her. Now they’re in her room, and I can only hope they’re trying to talk this through. I can’t get my head around Oliver. Being in his room, standing face-to-face with him nearly broke me to pieces—knowing I stopped caring about his feelings just to cope. Our perfect moment was ruined by his new “girlfriend.”
I dive back into my books, trying not to think about him and the storm of emotions that invaded my body, crept into my soul. Within a moment, I’d been shut down. Jacob and Dora don’t come out of her room until the following morning. It looks like they both made up; they most definitely had an eventful night. The drama is over, but I didn’t expect them to get back together so quickly. Obviously, they can’t stay away from each other too long.
“Do you want coffee, bear?” asks Dora.
“No, I gotta run. Training,” replies Jacob, who nods towards me first with a smile.
“So it’s all right with you two?” I finally ask, raising my left eyebrow.
Dora takes a bite of my toast, trying to hide her smile. “Yeah, he realised he can’t live without me.”
“Come on, Dora. I know that’s not true. He called you and then you finally decided to stop being an idiot.”
She looks embarrassed, fiddling with the sugar. When I spoke to Jacob, he refused to listen to me at first. I told him more than I anticipated because I was still in a state of a shock at seeing Oliver with another girl. I told him he would lose the love of his life if he didn’t get his act together. Dora is stubborn and she would rather die than admit it’s her own fault. Jacob looked like he was seriously going to reconsider his decision about the breakup.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten involved, but I can’t let my stupid best friend ruin everything.
“All right, he called and I asked him to come over. I apologized.” She sighs. “I shouldn’t have flirted or kissed my ex. It was bang out of order.”
“Glad to hear it, darling. You’re lucky Jacob has forgiven you,” I say, tapping my finger at the edge of the table. My nervous twitch is back. I should be worrying about exams. Instead, I keep thinking about how I should behave around Oliver. He’s obviously moved on. Girls on campus have been talking about his new girlfriend.
I leave Dora with her thoughts and go back to my revision. My first exam goes well, but I don’t have time to relax as a few days later I have another. I see Oliver on campus and nowadays he’s never alone. Dark-haired girl is always around him.
When the term resumes, I’m faced with a new dilemma. Mackenzie and Russell are back. Whenever I see her, she gives me one of her triumphant smiles and asks me if I took any of the swimming classes yet. People didn’t forget about me. It’s time to fix what’s broken. I came back to at least have a human relationship with Oliver, to try and gain his trust again. I don’t care what other people think. As long as Oliver doesn’t hate me, I’m going to be fine.
In the end of January, the new term begins. It rains constantly through whole month. I have a heart-to-heart conversation with Coach, who agrees for me to train on the condition I take a few swimming lessons. After that, I’m in a much better mood, so I head to the canteen. It’s late afternoon and I have an hour before class, but my plans of eating in peace are ruined when Russell places his own tray of food on my table.
Chapter nineteen
Keeping It Real