Present
Oliver is right. I have my mobile in my pocket so I can tell Dora I’m hanging out with him for the rest of the night. I can see how ridiculous this sounds. I should be saying no to a night adventure with the guy who hated me not so long ago, but the idea of being together messes up my head.
We stop in front of an old VW Golf parked by my apartment.
“Get in. We’re going for a small trip.” He smirks, winking at me. God, he looks so handsome in his leather jacket, thick scarf around his neck. An idea of doing something out of the ordinary gets me going, but I know this is completely crazy. We don’t talk while he reverses and drives off the campus. Braxton is surrounded by fields and farms. There is a small town at least twenty miles north, but other than that, it’s not a very inhabited area. As we both sit quietly, I begin to wonder if he ditched his girlfriend to be with me tonight.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask just to avoid thinking about his cologne that infuses the air inside the car.
“Somewhere special. I think it’s worth me showing you this today. It’s a perfect birthday present.” His voice is controlled and firm, no sign of reluctance or hesitation. This is the Oliver that I knew before the party, before everything went terribly wrong.
After a long and uncomfortable drive, Oliver stops the car in the middle of nowhere. In front of us is complete darkness.
“I know it’s freezing cold, but we can’t miss this. I got some thick blankets in the back.”
“Blankets, what for? You don’t expect me get outside. It must be like minus five!”
“Trust me, you will love what I’m about to show you. I’ve got some vodka to keep you warm.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Oliver’s idea seems completely insane, but I get out of the car, trying to reason with myself that this is not crazy at all. If this is one of his pranks, then I’m going to forget he ever existed. The silence buzzes in my ears, and I search for Oliver in the gloom.
“Come on,” he says, taking my hand. His touch warms me up in an instant. He is confusing me even more right now. I have no idea what he’s planning, but I’m strangely excited about this.
He leads me in front of the car.
“Sit on the top and take this,” he says, passing me a warm, thick blanket.
“Oliver, come on. This is insane!” I protest.
“Yeah, it is, but just shut up for a moment.”
I do what he says and sit at the front of the car, wrapping myself with the blanket. He climbs next to me.
“Look up at the sky and wait for your birthday present.”
“Am I supposed to look for something specific?” I ask, trying not to laugh. When the heat from his body reaches me, my breathing becomes heavier, more laboured.
“Yeah, in couple more minutes.”
Oliver unscrews the cap of a small bottle of vodka and hands it to me. He doesn’t even ask if I want a drink; he just assumes I won’t say no. I take a generous gulp and swallow because I don’t want him to think I forgot how to have fun. The alcohol burns my throat, but it warms me up. For a moment, we sit in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
“Come on, it’s starting. You need to look up,” he says, sounding excited. I pull a face and look at the black sky scattered with stars. The view is breathtaking. Then I spot the shooting star. My pulse starts racing when I see more and more. The glowing streaks cover the sky, and I gasp in amazement.
“It’s a meteor shower. This doesn’t happen very often, and you can only see it after midnight or right before dawn,” explains Oliver.
“This is unbelievable.” I gasp, watching as the streaks of light fall, many tracking together in the distance, creating this mesmerising show, fireballs shooting through the black space. They dazzle with a spray of sparks like an airborne sparkler. In that moment, the coldness doesn’t matter anymore because I’m here with Oliver, watching the most amazing spectacle of falling stars.
What Oliver has given me is priceless and the most romantic moment in my entire life. My heartbeat quickens, and I fight to hold in my tears. It’s an emotional experience that I’m going to remember for a lifetime.
“Let’s just believe this is the beginning of a new friendship. I don’t fucking care about the past. We both have to move on.”
“Thank you. This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.”
“I knew you would like it. Rhian doesn’t appreciate things like that.”
I smile. Despite him mentioning his girlfriend, I feel like our connection has been resumed. He didn’t bring me here to say he made a mistake and that he’s still in love with me. He brought me here to start over. I pushed past that vicious cycle of cruelty.
“Oliver, I need to ask you something. Please don’t get angry,” I begin, unable to hide the tension in my voice.
“If you have to…”
“When you came to Gargle, did you talk to your mother? Did you see her?”
He takes a sharp intake of breath, looking away. I know how much he hates talking about his fucked-up family. It’s not easy for me to bring up that subject now, when his mother knows the whole truth, but this is part of the feeling process.
“I wanted to, but I didn’t.”
“Your mother has changed. She isn’t the same person anymore. I know I shouldn’t say anything, but you should call her.”
“How do you know she’s changed?”
I kind of shot myself in the foot here. I can tell I’m closer to his own mother than he’s ever been.
“I saw her a couple of times a year after you left. I know she’s doing much better now,” I say, fiddling with my fingers as his gaze penetrates my lies and all the hatred that accumulated within me for a year.
“She is toxic, India, and you know it. You shouldn’t talk to her.”
“Please, Oliver, at least try. She has suffered enough.”
“I don’t know if I can do that. Her precious boy is dead, my father left her, and she’s looking for pity. Don’t you remember how she treated me?”
“Of course I remember, but she is your mother, Oliver. You can try with small steps.”
“Let’s not talk about her. It’s your birthday, and I think the meteor storm is over. Let me take you home.”
I nod, feeling I might just lose this battle. I might be asking for a lot. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but I’ll make sure we have a conversation about this at another time.
A few minutes later, I’m back inside the car. We don’t talk at all on the way back to Braxton. He drops me outside of my apartment with a simple good-bye. I hurry upstairs, not even realising it’s nearly two a.m. Time has flown. Our apartment is in a complete mess and Dora is fast asleep on the couch with Jacob. I slip into my bedroom quietly, wondering if Oliver went straight back to Rhian. His simple gesture was romantic, but he hasn’t crossed any line. It was a small interaction between friends. We are never going to be more than that because we are too damaged. Our past is hunting us down, and we can’t forget about the monster that ruined everything. Christian wanted to destroy me from very beginning. He used Oliver; he used me and his own parents to get what he wanted. Can I move on? Can I really forget that terrible night at the party?
Present
“So… you and Oliver, huh? Who would have thought so?” asks Dora the next morning when I enter the living room. Surprisingly, she isn’t hung over like normal.
“It wasn’t planned, in case you were wondering,” I say, putting all the food from yesterday into the fridge.
“Come on, spill the beans. What did you guys do in the middle of the night?”
“He took me out of town and showed me the meteor shower, and it was unbelievable,” I explain, still thinking about the previous night. Dora bites her lip and helps me with the plates.
“What, like a shower of fallings stars?”
“Yes, I think you can only see it twice a year, but yesterday, oh my God, it was just incredible. I’
ve never seen anything like that.”
“He took you to the middle of nowhere to watch the sky when it was minus five degrees outside? So did you guys do it at least, you know, to keep each other warm?”
“You are out of your mind, Dora Roberts. Oliver and I are trying to be friends again. Besides, he has a girlfriend.”
“So why didn’t he bring her yesterday?”
“I don’t know, Dora. Stop being obsessed with the idea there is something between us.”
“Whatever. I know you too well to believe in your bullshit. I don’t think he was honest with Jacob when he said he didn’t love you anymore,” she says. “Oliver said he was done and now he’s playing a friend with that romantic trip. This doesn’t make any sense, India, and if you can’t see it, then you’re plain stupid.”
We finish cleaning our apartment, arguing about my new “relationship” with Oliver. I feel terrible lying to her. There are times when I want to tell her everything. I felt so much better when I talked to Mrs. Morgan. It was as if I wasn’t drowning anymore. My best friend would understand; she would probably hate me because I kept it from her for so long. I’m going to tell her, but not now, not… not today.
The next couple of weeks I feel like I’ve awakened from the most bizarre dream. I told one person, but I’ve hidden the truth from someone who deserves to know.
People stare at me, but no one laughs anymore. I eat lunch with Oliver, Dora, and Jacob. Rhian doesn’t come in that often anymore. After the night of my birthday, Oliver and I talk more, but our past is still taboo. Russell keeps coming over, and I keep turning him down. He seems determined to take me out. He and Oliver don’t get on, and I don’t know the reason behind it.
It seems as if Oliver put his cruelty behind him and we are working on being with each other. I feel like I’m riding a roller caster of emotions when I’m around him. He is my salvation and my gloom. He is everything I ever wanted.
I still intend to go ahead with bringing him close to his mother again. Then, when our friendship is strong enough, I will explain everything. I have to be sure he has forgiven me completely and utterly. Oliver needs to see my transformation, that I’m not that silly girl anymore.
My lectures throw me away from my thoughts until Friday evening. It’s been a hell of a week. I don’t even want to think about my coursework this weekend. Oliver is coming over in the evening and we’re all going out to the cinema. Rhian is coming along, and I just have to accept that she’s part of our pack.
After four hours of lecture, I’m exhausted; my body needs to relax. Russell has been stalking me all day, and I end up inviting him over to the cinema. Oliver probably won’t be that happy, but he will get over it. If I can tolerate Rhian, then he shouldn’t have problem with Russell.
Present
“Why did you invite him?” asks Dora while Jacob and Russell talk in the living room.
“He kept asking about my plans this weekend, so I didn’t have a choice. I had to invite him!”
“Oliver hates him. This can only bring trouble,” mutters Dora.
“Well, I don’t like Rhian, but I’ve got to pretend I do.”
She doesn’t say any more, and when Oliver and Rhian arrive, there is a long silence. Oliver gives Russell an angry look, but they both force an abrupt hi to each other. Once we finally get to the cinema, they both fight over the choice of film. In the end, we’re late for the show.
Throughout the whole film, I stay tense because on one side I have Oliver and on the other is Russell. There is a guy I love, but I can’t be with, and then there is a guy that wants me, but I’m not interested in him. Oliver’s arm keeps brushing over mine. He doesn’t let me concentrate on the film. Russell keeps trying to hold my hand, but I don’t want to give him the wrong signals.
The whole evening is just a disaster, as Russell ends up fighting with Oliver. I don’t even know who started the argument. The restaurant meal is embarrassing, and we all end up going home early.
I get in bed feeling like my friendship with Oliver is never going to work if Russell is around. Russell is a nice bloke and I keep getting close to him, so I can’t just abandon him because of Oliver. I decide it’s time to talk to Oliver and explain we both might not be ready for the friendship.
Chapter Twenty-One
Meltdown