Bracing herself with one hand on his hip, she reached between his legs and captured him, cupping the hot velvet shaft firmly and circling it with her fingers.
“Lissa…Gods!” Saber gasped and pumped hard into her hand. He was breathing harder now, almost panting, his muscular chest expanding like a bellows with each breath.
Lissa stroked him, taking care not to lose her rhythm as she continued to fuck. The buzzing of the vibe was beginning to get to her. With every thrust it rubbed against her clit just the right way as the rod bumped the end of her channel. The pleasure was beginning to build and she felt that part of her, the mistress part, beginning to come out into the open, just as it had the night she had first made Saber come.
“Is this all right?” she murmured in a low voice, stroking and thrusting at the same time. “Is this how you like to be touched? How you need to be fucked?”
“Gods!” Saber appeared to be losing himself as well. His shaft was throbbing in her hand and his hips were bucking back to meet hers, matching her rhythm as he gave himself to the pleasure she was giving him.
“Is it?” Lissa insisted, with a particularly deep thrust. Forgotten was the fact that they had been forced into this act, forgotten were all her fears that it would change things between them. All she could feel was the push and thrust of the silver rod inside her, all she could hear were the low groans of pleasure being ripped from her lover’s throat as she thrust into him, harder and harder.
But still he didn’t come.
Lissa was close herself. She could feel her orgasm building and she knew she didn’t want to come alone. She needed Saber to come with her, needed to give him the same pleasure she was experiencing at the same time. Suddenly she remembered that certain spot inside him that had made him jump and gasp when she pressed it with her fingers. Maybe if she got just a little higher on her knees and angled the rod a certain way…
“Oh! Gods, Lissa!” Saber’s deep shout vibrated through her entire body and his big form clenched like a fist.
She was worried at once. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.” He shook his head, his eyes still tightly closed. “No, do it…do it again. And this time don’t stop.”
Lissa took a firmer grip on his cock and thrust at an angle again. And again and again as Saber groaned beneath her and thrust back. Broken words fell from his lips and every muscle in his big body was tight.
“Lissa…amalla. There…right there. Gods, please…please…yes. Take me harder. Fuck me!”
Lissa felt a surge of power mixed with a rush of tenderness. To think that Saber would open himself to her, would allow himself to be so vulnerable made her love him all the more.
As her sense of power grew, so did her own pleasure. She gave a final strangled moan and pumped hard into him, feeling the silver rod penetrate both of them to the core. At the same time the buzzing vibe pressed hard against the tender button of her clit, sending her into the stratosphere as the most intense orgasm she’d had so far rocked her to her foundations.
Saber was apparently finding release as well. He moaned her name and she could feel his thick shaft spasming in her hand. Spurt after spurt of hot seed wet her fingers with his release as he came over and over. The mutual pleasure seemed to tie them together, creating a special space occupied only by them. Lissa had never felt so close to him.
We made love, she thought, wonderingly. It wasn’t what I thought it would be like my first time but that was making love, all the same. The only way it could have been better would be if Saber had given her the Deep Touch. But then, he was going to do that as soon as they got back to the Mother Ship so she didn’t have long to wait.
At last Saber groaned and collapsed, his big body utterly limp and spent. Lissa draped herself against his back and kissed him between the shoulder blades.
“I love you,” she whispered, stroking his heaving side with one hand. “Goddess, Saber, I love you so much. That was…amazing. The way you gave yourself to me…”
He twitched under her and muttered something.
“What?” Lissa leaned forward to hear.
“Out of me.” His deep voice sounded tired and not very happy. “Get it out of me, now.”
“Sorry! I didn’t realize…” Lissa sat up and quickly slid the vibrating rod out, then turned it off. “Better?” she asked timidly.
“Yes…” He rolled on his side and took a deep breath. “Much.”
“Did…did I hurt you?” Lissa wanted to touch him. Wanted to run her fingers through his hair, which was damp with sweat, but somehow she didn’t dare.
“No.” He grimaced and sat up. Moving to the side of the bed, he put his head in his hands a moment and breathed deeply, his sides heaving. “No I’m…fine.”
“You don’t seem fine,” Lissa objected.
But he only shook his head and repeated, “I’m fine.” He cast a quick look in her direction and his eyes hardened. “Get that damn thing off, will you? We need to get out of here.”
“Oh. Of course.” Lissa fumbled for the straps and winced as the silver rod slid out of her pussy. She felt empty inside now and not just for the lack of the rod. “Saber…” she began. “About what just happened…”
Saber’s broad shoulders hunched. “It’s over,” he said flatly. “Let’s just…not mention it again, all right?”
Lissa felt a rush of panic. Goddess, it was happening. Just as Lady Pope’nose had predicted—Saber was withdrawing from her. Now that she had taken him, he hated her.
“Saber,” she whispered brokenly. “I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” But he didn’t meet her eyes. Instead, he fumbled for his black trousers and pulled them on as though he couldn’t wait to cover himself.
Lissa put her clothing back on too, slipping into the discarded panties and rumpled black and white dress as though in a dream. It was true—she had ruined their relationship. Maybe she had hurt him somehow. Or maybe it was as Lady Pope’nose had said—forcing a man’s pleasure stripped him of his dignity. Either way, Saber hated her now and she didn’t blame him one bit.
“Well now.” The door opened and Lady Pope’nose came in. In one hand was the blue laminated scroll. She came to a stop in front of the bed where Saber was still sitting, putting on his boots. “That was quite a show you put on,” she purred, holding out the scroll. “More than worth the price of this old document, I do believe.”
“Shut up.” Saber snatched the scroll from her hands and stood up, towering over her. “You got what you wanted. Now we’re going.”
“I think we all got what we wanted, if what I saw was any indication.” Lady Pope’nose gave him a nasty grin. “And how did you enjoy being dominated, my dear? Did it fulfill a need, deep down in your soul that you didn’t even know you had? Does it make you want to bend over and beg your sweet mistress to fuck your ass over and over again?”
“Leave him alone!” Lissa pushed her way between them and faced Lady Pope’nose with her hands on her hips. “Haven’t you done enough damage?”
“I think it was you who did the damage, my dear.” Lady Pope’nose smirked. “Excellent technique, by the way—for a novice you did extremely well. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a slave so thoroughly dominated and fucked in all my years.”
“Gods.” Saber pushed past her and headed for the door.
Lissa spared one last glare at Lady Pope’nose. “You’re a horrible person,” she said, trying to keep the tears of rage and sorrow that rose in her eyes from falling. “I hope you end up just like Lady Hake’bean. That would be exactly what you deserve.”
Then she followed Saber down the long hallway. He was striding fast, however, and she didn’t catch up with him until he was already over the threshold and out into the dark, steamy night.
“Saber wait, please.” She grabbed him by the arm and tried to get him to face her. “Please,” she pleaded when he wouldn’t turn. “Don’t listen to her. You know what a horrib
le person she is.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lissa, but I can’t talk about this right now. I just…I just want to forget it. All right?”
Lissa felt the tears that had been threatening earlier overflow her eyes and wet her cheeks in a hot flood. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered again. “Oh Saber, I’m so sorry. Do…do you hate me now?”
“No.” He looked away, the side of his jaw clenching. “I hate myself.” Then he sighed. “Come on—we need to get this scroll back to the Mother Ship. Let’s go.”
Chapter Twenty-five
It hadn’t been at all like Saber had expected.
Before they got started he had been telling himself over and over that everything was fine—that it would be over and done with quickly. That he could give his body without letting his emotions become involved.
Well, he’d been wrong. Abysmally, shamefully, humiliatingly wrong.
He’d been so sure he could remain impassive, just lie there and take it, then forget about it afterward. But he hadn’t counted on the pleasure. The incredible, scarily intense, mind-meltingly hot pleasure of being taken, of being penetrated by the woman he loved.
Over and over he heard his own voice, begging hoarsely for Lissa to take him harder, to fill him, to fuck him. Goddess, what was wrong with him?
What must she think of me now? He gave her a sidelong glance as he started the ship’s engines. There had been complete silence between them all the way from Lady Pope’nose’s home to the docking yards. Lissa sat beside him in the passenger’s chair, staring out the window, pale and withdrawn.
She probably hates me. She’s probably lost all respect for me. Exactly the way he had lost all respect for himself. Saber closed his eyes briefly, wishing he could just block the whole past hour and a half out of his mind. Better yet, he wished he could go back in time and not have taken this mission at all.
He’d been so certain when this all began that it wouldn’t change him, that he could handle any form of submission. He’d been fine with playing the part of her slave, fine with serving her on bended knee—hell, he’d even enjoyed it! He liked catering to Lissa, being her protector and slave. He’d even enjoyed it when she played “mistress” with him and jerked him off. But none of that had been so invasive. So…private.
Saber had spent years reining himself in, keeping his emotions in check. Letting Lissa fuck him had stripped away a protective shield around his male psyche he hadn’t even known he had—a shield he certainly hadn’t been ready to lose. Being penetrated had made him feel so helpless…so vulnerable. The silver rod pressing inside him had rendered him powerless in a way no enemy in battle ever had.
And he’d enjoyed it. He’d enjoyed it way too much.
I gave it up like a bitch in heat, he thought morosely, punching buttons far harder than he needed to. Lissa must think I’m not fit to be her mate, her protector. Not when he couldn’t even protect himself from the insidious pleasure of being taken. Not when he opened himself and begged for more so desperately.
Saber could still feel the warm slippery lube between his thighs as well as a slight tingling—the aftermath of being fucked, he supposed. But the slight stretching pain that was even now fading was nothing to the pain in his heart. A pain he was certain would never fade.
The humiliating thoughts and memories went round and round in his head in a loop he felt powerless to shut off or stop. So he was immensely relieved when the viewscreen flickered to life and he saw Sophia’s image.
“You’re coming home?” As it had the night before, her voice sounded different to Saber. Slightly deeper and more authoritative somehow.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “We, uh, got the scroll. We’re on the way.”
“Good.” Sophia blew out a breath and ran a hand through her hair. “Something has to be done—things are insane here on the Mother Ship.”
“What happened?” Lissa asked anxiously, entering the conversation. “What’s going on? Is everyone all right?”
“Everyone is most certainly not all right.” Sophia sighed. “But no one is dead, if that’s what you’re asking. Though I fear that my brother will soon wish he was dead.”
“Your brother?” Saber frowned. “I didn’t know you had a brother, Sophia.”
“Sophia doesn’t but I do. I just…” She shook her head. “I can’t explain now. You’ll find out soon enough when you get back here. I’m having them open the fold now—come home.”
The words were like a shot to Saber’s heart. Home. Yes, he and Lissa had agreed to make the Mother Ship their home. But now…
Now we’ll probably go our separate ways, just like we were going to before. I never penetrated her with my cock so she’s technically still a virgin—she can go back to being the High Priestess. And I’ll go back to rule the Touch Clans just like Father wants me to.
The knowledge was like a stone in his heart. Despite everything, he still loved Lissa but after the way he’d acted, he didn’t see how she could love him back. Didn’t see how she could respect him anymore. He’d heard the pity in her voice all too plainly when she said she was sorry for what they had done. She shouldn’t have to be with a male she pitied—it wasn’t fair to ask that of her. Wasn’t fair to ask her to stay with a male who had no pride left and no hope of ever regaining it.
“We’re coming,” he told Sophia. “I see the fold, we’ll be entering it in just a minute.”
“I’ll have someone meet you and try to explain.” Sophia seemed to hear something in the background. She frowned. “I have to go—they need me in the med center.”
“The med center?” Lissa frowned as Sophia’s image abruptly winked out and the blackness of space replaced it. “Since when does Sophia work at the med center? I thought she taught art to the little ones. And what was all that about her brother?”
Saber shook his head. “Something strange is definitely going on.” He sighed. “I guess we’ll find out what it is when we get there.”
“Saber, wait.” Lissa put a hand on his knee. The soft touch made him jump as though he’d been burned and she pulled back immediately. “I’m sorry. I just…before we go back I wanted to talk.”
Saber looked straight ahead. She’s going to tell me now. Say that she can’t be with me anymore. That we need to go our separate ways. He didn’t feel able to hear that right now, even though he knew it was coming.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said gruffly, still not looking at her.
“Yes, there is,” Lissa insisted. “Saber, everything was fine between us until—”
“Until you fucked me?” he growled. “Yes, it was, wasn’t it? And now everything is different—changed.”
“I didn’t want it to change.” Lissa sounded like she was trying to hold back tears. “I didn’t mean for it to change.”
Saber blew out a breath. “I didn’t either. But it did. Lissa…” He finally turned to look at her. “I think it’s better if we just forget about it. Maybe if we forget about everything.”
“Everything?” she repeated, her eyes getting wide. “You mean just…go our separate ways?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? What we were always going to do once this mission was complete?” he asked harshly.
“Well, yes but…but that was before,” she whispered.
“A lot of things were before.” Saber felt horrible—like the worst person in the world. But he didn’t want to drag this out. “Let’s just move on, all right?”
“What if…what if I don’t want to move on?”
“You have to.” His throat felt tight. “Listen to me, Lissa—you’re beautiful. You’ll find a male who will love and appreciate you. One you can care for.” One you can respect, he thought but didn’t say.
“Saber…I…I…” But she couldn’t say anymore—tears choked her.
For Saber, there was nothing more to say. “We’re coming to the fold,” he said, staring straight ahead again. “Make sure your belt is fastened securely. It m
ay be a bumpy ride.”
Chapter Twenty-six
Baird had woken the morning before feeling strangely tired and heavy. He lay in bed, trying to understand what was wrong—had he eaten too much pizza the night before? It was his favorite Earth dish and since Olivia didn’t have to watch her weight during her pregnancy, they had it at least once a week. But the heaviness didn’t seem to center in his stomach exactly, it was lower—a feeling of fullness in his pelvis that wouldn’t go away. What could it be?
He reached down to touch his belly, expecting to find washboard abs—he took care to keep in shape because Olivia loved his stomach muscles for some reason. Instead, he felt a swelling—a huge swelling. Gods, what was wrong with him? Had he somehow grown a tumor overnight? He needed to get to the med center right away!
“Olivia?” he said but his voice came out strange—high and feminine. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Olivia?”
“Huh?” She didn’t sound like herself at all—her voice was deep and harsh. Baird turned his head to look at her—was she getting a cold?
The light was still dim and his wife was just a bump under the covers. A very large bump. Did she have some pillows stuffed down there? Now that she was in her last quadmester and ready to give birth at any day, she claimed the only way she could lay on her side was with lots of extra support. But it would take six or seven pillows to make that much of a lump under the bedspread.
“Olivia?” he said again in his strange, high voice. And then someone kicked him.
From the inside.
* * * * *
Liv was woken by high piercing screams of pure terror.
“What? What is it?” She sat up at once, barely registering how easy it was. For the past few months as her belly grew bigger and bigger she had started needing assistance to get up from anywhere. But this time she popped right up with the frightened screams still echoing in her ears.
“Olivia, is that you? Are you in there?” The voice was high and feminine but also familiar.