Not to mention all the other huge reasons why it was a bad idea: I could be demoted, fired, or even banished, and the risk of that was very high in Doldastam, since we actually had a functioning guard that would be able to catch us in the act.
“Well, you’re King, for one thing. ” I turned to face him, offering the reason that seemed least likely to offend him. “Do you really wanna blow it all by messing around with some Kanin girl?”
“Technically, you’re not really Kanin,” Kennet corrected me, moving closer. “And you’re even technically royalty, since both your parents are. It’d be worth the risk. ”
I stepped back from him. “You don’t even like me that much. ”
Kennet bristled. “Don’t tell me how I feel. ” He softened a little. “But I’d like to spend more time with you. You could come back to Storvatten with me. ”
“For what?” I shook my head in disbelief. “What are you even doing here?”
“I came here to see you. ” Kennet tried to touch my arm, but I pulled back from him.
“Bullshit. ” I wasn’t buying any of it.
“I was sent here to help ensure peace between our tribes,” Kennet said wearily. “Without a true King right now, and with such a shitty guard, this would be the perfect time for someone to attack us. So I’m supposed to make sure the Kanin like us, so they can defend us if we need them to, and also so they don’t attack us themselves. ”
I eyed him up, still not sure what to believe. “Who sent you?”
“Well, since I’m the acting ruler, I suppose you can say I sent myself. ” He offered a small smile. “But everyone, including Marksinna Lisbet, thought it would be a good idea to make nice with you all. I gave Mina that necklace as a gesture of our goodwill.
“I did also think it would be fun to spend more time with you, but apparently I was wrong about that,” he added dryly.
“Sorry. ” I relaxed and let my arms fall to my sides, trying not to look as suspicious as I felt. “You just seem a little too cavalier about everything. ”
He rolled his eyes and went over to grab his drink from where he’d left it on a small side table. “You’re really great at knowing how I should act and how I should feel, Bryn. ”
“How is Mikko?” I asked, switching from one touchy subject to another. I’d dropped the formal titles, since I had no idea if Mikko was even King anymore.
“I don’t know. ” Kennet had his back to me as he took a drink, and I watched his shoulders rise and fall with heavy resignation. “He won’t let me see him. ”
“Why not?”
“You’d have to ask him that yourself. ” He swirled the alcohol in his glass around, watching it. “I do love him. I know a lot of people don’t believe that now, maybe you included, but he is my older brother. I don’t want to see him hurt. ”
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“I’m sure it’s hard for him,” I said gently, trying to offer Kennet a bit of comfort. “With everything that happened, and now with you being the King. Mikko is going through a very difficult time. ”
“He never even wanted to be King,” Kennet muttered, still staring down at his glass. “I offered to take the crown in his place, but Mikko refused to go against Father’s decree. ” He shook his head and took a long drink.
“When I left, Marksinna Lisbet told me she thought she’d be placed as acting monarch,” I told him.
“Did she?” Kennet laughed. “She is one crazy old bat. ”
The sharpness of his words startled me, but I quickly recovered and asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’m next in line for the throne. ” He looked at me like it should have been obvious. “If anything happens to Mikko, it goes to me. There’s no way that a Marksinna with no ties to our bloodline would ever be in charge, even for a moment. ”
“Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part,” I said. “She was just worried about Linnea’s safety. ”
Kennet scoffed. “I can keep the kingdom safe. ”
“Her biggest concern—and mine too, really—was continuing to allow Bayle Lundeen to remain in charge of the guard. ”
“Then you can both rest at ease,” he smiled at me. “The first thing I did after being appointed was dismiss Bayle. ”
“You fired him?” I asked, almost breathless in my relief.
He nodded. “I did, but I think he feared an investigation, so he immediately took off. We have a few guards looking for him, but I’m not sure what a guard like ours will really turn up. ”
“So then are the charges against Mikko dropped?” I asked.
Kennet shook his head. “It’s not quite that simple. There’s still evidence against him, and we do have to wait for a trial. I’m sure this will all be sorted out soon. ” He walked over to me, probably because I’d softened since our conversation had started.
“Is Linnea holding up okay?” I asked, since I didn’t know what to say to that.
“About as well as you’d imagine. ”
“But you’ll keep her safe, won’t you?” I asked, and I tried to play on his pride to ensure that he would do everything in his power to protect her. “As long as you’re the acting King, you wouldn’t let anything happen to her, would you?”
“No, of course not,” he said, and a sparkle had returned to his eyes. “But if you’re really concerned about her, why don’t you come with me?”
“Prince—” I started to decline, but he silenced me.
“I know I was a little overzealous before, and I am truly sorry about that,” Kennet said, his voice low and apologetic. “But I like having you around, and Linnea would love to have you back. You can help us, and honestly, we do need you. ”
“I appreciate the offer, I really do,” I said. “But as much as I enjoy your company and Linnea’s, I just don’t think can. There’s too much going on in Doldastam. ”
Kennet frowned. “So that’s a no?”
“No. ” I shook my head. “My place is here. ”
“Oh, Bryn. ” He let out a sigh, and he reached out to fix a lavender flower that had come loose from my hair. When he finished, he looked down at me sadly. “I don’t think you really know your place at all. ”?
THIRTY-NINE
conciliation
It was time to get back to reality.
That’s what I told myself after I’d finished getting changed in the locker room. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and headed out to the gym, determined to head back to work.
With everything going on—Storvatten preparing for war, Viktor and Konstantin, not to mention things with Ridley, and Kennet’s bizarre invitation last night, and Tilda’s wedding, which was a good thing but still out of the ordinary—my life had been completely devoid of routine.
Since I’d joined tracker school when I was twelve, this place and this job had been my one constant. I was sent out on missions where I had to encounter changelings and deal with unique obstacles, but I always came back here.
And right now, when everything felt like it was crumbling down on me, I needed this more than ever. I needed to disappear into my work until I was completely gone.
So when I stepped into the gym, expecting my tiny little haven in the chaos of the world, I was caught off guard to see that things had been completely turned upside down.
All the trackers were training at once—some doing combat or sword fighting, others lifting weights, while still others were running laps—which filled the gym with far more people than I would’ve preferred. On top of all that there was also a group of around twenty-five Markis and Marksinna standing in formation as Ember commanded them.
I recognized a few of them, like Linus Berling, but the rest of them stood out thanks to their designer workout clothes. One girl was even training while wearing a diamond tennis bracelet and chandelier earrings.
“Down!” Ember shouted as I walked over to her, and her ragtag troops dropped to the floor.
Some of them moved
more quickly than others, and I wasn’t surprised to see that Marksinna Tennis Bracelet had trouble keeping up. Linus did relatively well, but he relied more on effort than skill. A girl in the front was doing astonishingly well, though, as if she had been training for years.
When she hit the ground, I noticed a subtle change in her skin color—the deep olive darkening to match the black of her workout clothes for a second. Her long dark hair was in a loose braid that bounced when she dropped. Her large eyes were almost almond shaped, and she kept them locked on Ember as she awaited her next order.
“Up!” Ember commanded almost as soon as they hit the floor, and they hurried to get back on their feet. When Ember saw me, she smiled. “Why don’t we all take five? You’ve been working hard. ”
“How’s it going?” I asked Ember as her troops took a breather or got something to drink. Linus offered me a quick wave before jogging over to the drinking fountain.
“Good. ” She nodded. “They’re shaping up really well. ”
“That’s only because we have such a good teacher. ” The girl in the front wiped sweat from her brow, and she had a water bottle in her hand.
“Thanks. ” Ember smiled, maybe a little too widely, and they looked at each other for what was beginning to feel like an uncomfortable amount of time. “Uh, sorry. Bryn, this is Delilah, I mean, Marksinna Delilah Nylen. ”
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Delilah rushed to fill the gap between us so she could shake my hand, and I noticed she was a little taller than Ember. “I’ve heard so much about you. You’re a real hero. ”
“I’m not even close to being a hero, but thank you,” I said.
“Sorry, sure. ” When she released my hand, she stood up straight with her shoulders back, the way I knew Ember had taught her. Then she tapped her water bottle. “I need to refill this, so I should do that before we start up again. ”
“Go ahead,” Ember told her, and the second Delilah was out of earshot, Ember turned to me and asked in an excited whisper, “What do you think?”
“Well, she has good posture,” I said.
“That’s it?” Ember stared up at me. “That’s all you’ve got?”
I glanced over to where Delilah was refilling her bottle at the fountain at the edge of the gymnasium. “She’s obviously a hard worker, and she seems to know her stuff. ” Ember kept staring at me, so I added, “And she’s very pretty. ”
Ember practically beamed. “She’s great, right?”
“She is,” I admitted hesitantly.
But not only was Delilah a Marksinna, she was one who could change her skin color, meaning she had an important bloodline. No one in a position of authority would look kindly on Ember messing with that.
“Just be careful,” I advised.
“I always am. ” Ember looked so pleased that I didn’t want to completely spoil her mood.
By then it was time to start training again, and Ember began barking commands. Delilah seemed more than happy to follow them, which boded well for their burgeoning relationship. Even though Delilah was nobility, she seemed to respect Ember’s experience and leadership.
I realized I had my own forbidden romance that I needed to deal with, and before I could really head back to reality, I needed to talk to Ridley.
Over at the other end of the gym, Ridley held a clipboard, reading the papers attached to it. Since Tilda had gotten married last night, she was off today, which left him working her job for the day.
His brow was furrowed in concentration when I reached him. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I waited next to him until he noticed me, which thankfully didn’t take long.
“Tilda is really good at her job, but her handwriting is atrocious,” Ridley said, telling me something I already knew. “I will be so relieved when she gets back from her honeymoon in a couple days. ”
“They’re taking a short honeymoon, so it won’t be too bad. ”
He finally looked up at me, and I suddenly felt sick. I didn’t know what to say to him. All I wanted was for him to pull me into his arms, but I knew he couldn’t.
“Now probably isn’t the best time for this conversation,” I began, swallowing down my fear. “I just wanted to tell you that I, um, want to talk to you, I guess. ”
“About what I said last night?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. ”
“Now’s perfect,” he replied instantly. “Come on. ”
A gym filled with people obviously wasn’t the best place to have a private conversation, and Ridley walked away. I followed him out into the hallway, which was quiet and deserted. Trackers-in-training should’ve been in class, but they were all either in the gym doing drills or out in the yard doing obstacle courses.
“So?” Ridley folded his arms over his chest and stared down at me expectantly.
“Well…” I exhaled shakily. “You know how I feel about you. ”
“What if I told you I don’t?”
I looked up at him, his eyes filled with that dark intensity that made my heart race. “Ridley. ”
“I said it. Would it be so bad if you said it too?” he pressed.
“I care about you,” I admitted, saying it aloud for the first time, and there was something terrifying and exhilarating in that. “I care about you a lot. ”
One corner of his mouth pulled up in a crooked smile. “Good. ”
“But you know the deal,” I said, and his smile fell away. “We would both lose our jobs, and as much as I do care about you, I’m not willing to do what my parents did. My dad sacrificed a lot, but my mom gave up everything. I know she loves my dad and she loves me, way more than she ever cared about Storvatten, but that doesn’t mean she wants this life that’s been thrust upon her either. And unlike my mom, I do really care about Doldastam and my job, even as imperfect and insane as it has been lately. ”
“You’re not your mom, and I’m not your dad,” Ridley countered. “I would never ask you to give up the life you’ve chosen. I know how much your job means to you, and I wouldn’t let you sacrifice it for me, even if you wanted to. ”
“But that goes for you too,” I argued. “You have to go after Viktor. I can’t let you lose your position as the Överste, not when it’s so important to you, and the kingdom needs you. But where does that leave us? Neither of us can give up the things that are standing in our way. ”
“I can,” he said simply.
“No, Ridley, you can’t. ”
“Not right now, that’s true. But as soon as we have Viktor, and I mean the very second, I’ll quit. ”
I shook my head. “I can’t ask you to do that. ”
“You don’t have to. I want to,” he insisted. “I’ve done this job long enough, and I’m sure that Tilda would be twice as good as me, and she’ll probably want a desk job soon. So I’ll find something else. ”
“What else?” I asked.
“Anything else. ” Ridley grinned. “That’s the point. I don’t care. I can do whatever I want. But the thing I want most is to be with you. ”
Suddenly, I felt dizzy. It almost sounded too good be true.
“You really wanna do this?” I asked breathlessly.
“Yes. Once we catch Viktor, I want to give us a real shot. ” He took my hands in his. “What do you think?”
I nodded, too excited to speak at first. “Yes. ”
Ridley stepped away from me to look through the narrow windows in the gymnasium door, checking to see if anyone was watching. They must not have been, because he rushed back over and pushed me back against the wall, so we were more hidden if anyone decided to pry, and he kissed me full on the mouth.
It ended much too soon, with him pulling away from me as he tried to catch his breath. “I have to get back. And so do you. And right now I’m still your boss, so that’s an order. ”
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FORTY
honeymoon
Lunch usually meant hurr
iedly devouring salads and hard-boiled eggs in the cafeteria at the school, all the trackers crammed in together like sardines since we were working at full capacity.
So that was why I didn’t mind skipping out on lunch to head over to Tilda’s apartment. Yesterday, while we’d been getting ready for her wedding, she had asked me if I could come over to get the keys to her place so she could show me how to feed her goldfish while she was on her honeymoon. She and Kasper were leaving this afternoon, so this was the last chance to do it.
I left the school feeling lighter than I had in days. After the conversation with Ridley, the future felt like it actually held the promise of something good. The dark days that had been surrounding me might actually be making a turn for the better.
We were still at war, and things weren’t over yet, but for the first time in a while, I felt optimistic. As I walked downtown, I caught myself humming.
A Land Rover was parked in front of the electronics shop below Tilda’s apartment, presumably rented from the King’s fleet, since other than a few of the very rich, nobody owned a vehicle in Doldastam. The tailgate was open, and Kasper was loading up two large duffle bags in the back.
“I thought you guys were only gonna be gone for a couple days,” I said and motioned to the overstuffed bags in the back.
“Three days, two nights at a bed and breakfast in Churchill. ” Kasper shut the back of the SUV and turned to me with a look of resigned exasperation.
With everything that was going on, the King didn’t want them to be gone for very long, and for their own safety, Kasper and Tilda had chosen a human town only an hour’s drive from Doldastam.
“And Tilda actually has a bag upstairs still. But the pregnancy is making her worry more, and if what she needs to relax on this honeymoon is everything and the kitchen sink, then I’ll be more than happy to load it up. ”
I smiled at him. “You’re gonna make a great husband. ”
Kasper laughed. “Just remind Tilda of that when she gets mad at me, okay?”
We went down a narrow alley squished between the electronics shop and the taxidermist next door. Around the back of the shop was a doorway that opened to a set of stairs leading up to the small two-bedroom apartment. Tilda had lived there for two years by herself, and it had to be one of the most contemporary places in all of Doldastam.
I opened the door expecting her usual immaculateness. Tilda always kept it looking like something out of a magazine showcasing trendy New York apartments. Instead, I was greeted by an unexpected mess—clothes were strewn all over her sofa, several cardboard boxes were stacked up in the living room, and dirty dishes were piled up in the sink.
Tilda came out from her back bedroom and gave me a sheepish smile. “I know, I know. It’s a total disaster, but I haven’t had time to clean. ”
“No, don’t worry about it,” I said as I made my way through the labyrinths of boxes and stepped over a glass punchbowl, which I assumed had been a wedding gift.
On the peninsula that separated the kitchen from the living room, Tilda had a fishbowl with two of the fattest goldfish I had even seen. Not only were they several inches long, they were completely rotund.