She gasped for air, still not able to find her breath. She didn’t have the strength to assist him as he rolled her over.
“You okay?”
“Just… need… to catch… my breath.”
“I like you breathless.”
“I’m gonna pass out.”
“Slow this time. I promise.”
He was inside her again. Taking her slowly. Deeply. Churning his hips to press deeper still. It felt so good. So right.
Yes, Kellen.
Just like that.
Perfect.
He stared into her eyes the entire time; until the candle sputtered out and they were bathed in darkness and he finally allowed himself to let go.
Chapter Nine
Kellen rolled over, cursing the sunlight streaming directly into his face. He reached for a pillow to bury his head under, but his hand found a warm body beside him instead. He smiled and allowed his fingertips the pleasure of stroking the smooth skin along Dawn’s shoulders. If she was aware of his touch, he couldn’t tell. Her soft snores never lost their rhythm, and she didn’t stir even when he scooted closer and placed a kiss on her slender arm. Her body was completely slack, her expression oblivious.
I wore her ass out, he thought proudly. She wouldn’t be forgetting him anytime soon.
He watched her sleep, wondering how the rest of the day would play out. He would have to leave soon so he could make it to Beaumont in time for Sole Regret’s show that evening. Maybe Dawn would like to come with him. He knew she had to finish writing down the song she’d composed the night before so she could meet her deadline, but he hoped she had time to make it to his show. If not, he had another show in New Orleans tomorrow night, and then they had a rare couple of days off before a second show in New Orleans. Surely they could find time to spend together before he had to head to the Northeast for the next leg of the tour.
Now that he’d found her, he didn’t want to spend a moment apart from her. He wasn’t sure she’d feel the same way, but he had to give this a go, see what came of it. He hadn’t felt this way about a woman since… well, never. And he wasn’t going to compare Dawn to Sara anymore. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
Kellen sat up, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes and combing his fingers through his tangled hair. He rolled out of bed and stretched his back, which was a bit sore from making love to Dawn for hours, but he felt more relaxed, more at ease, than he’d felt in years.
He leaned across the bed to place a grateful kiss at the corner of Dawn’s mouth. When she didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid, he decided to grab a quick shower. Once he was clean and alert, he found himself drawn to Dawn’s bedside again. He’d never known anyone to sleep so soundly. He hated to disturb her, but he wanted her awake. He wanted to see the spark of mischief in her hazel eyes and bask in the warmth of her smile. He also wouldn’t mind getting lost in her arms for a couple of hours before he had to leave.
“Dawn,” he whispered close to her ear. “It’s morning.”
She moaned softly, grabbed a pillow, and smashed it over her head in protest.
“Are you going to get up soon?”
“Coffee,” he thought she mumbled beneath the pillow. Or maybe she was just growling at him.
So she wasn’t a morning person. Only unnaturally happy people, like Owen, were morning people. Kellen wondered what Owen would have to say about Kellen’s reawakening. Owen would probably only enthuse about the getting laid part of Kellen’s night. Which had been important, he couldn’t deny it. But there were more important things going on than his departure from abstinence. And he had Dawn to thank for all of it. He had to think something had drawn them together. Some higher power or outside force. How else could he have found exactly who he needed at exactly the right time and exactly the right place? Or maybe he was reading too much into this.
In nothing but a towel, Kellen padded downstairs to fix Dawn a cup of coffee. Maybe he could coax her out of bed with caffeine. While she was beautiful in sleep, he loved to watch her in motion. Or maybe he’d save her a cup of java for later and wake her with tender kisses between her thighs. She seemed to enjoy being on the receiving end as much as he enjoyed delivering. That woman could take a permanent seat on his face and he’d die a happy man. He grinned wickedly at the remembrance of her sweet, addictive flavor. That was the true breakfast of champions.
He opened a cabinet, searching for a mug. He found an entire cupboard full of fresh-baked bread—Dawn’s stress outlet. Sheesh. She must have really been having a hard time dealing with her writer’s block. There was enough bread to feed a stadium. Kellen opened another cabinet and found what he was looking for. Mug in hand, he hummed Dawn’s sensual melody under his breath. Amazed by how serene the weather had turned now that the storm was long gone, he glanced out the window. The mug dropped in the sink, shattering on impact.
Next door, Sara’s yellow beach house glowed in the early morning sunshine. Kellen snapped his eyes shut and reared back. Just don’t look at it, he told himself. He pivoted away. God, he was shaking. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the crumpled heap of his jeans on the breakfast bar. Sara’s bracelet was no longer in the pocket. It had tumbled out to rest in plain view. Oh God, what had he done?
Kellen’s stomach plummeted, and his heart rate kicked up. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, staring at the leather cuff as if it were accusing him of a crime he knew he’d committed. The walls started closing in. He had to leave. Had to beg for Sara’s forgiveness. Had to repent for his sins against his memory of her.
Had to give up Dawn.
She didn’t deserve to be entangled with someone like him—a man who couldn’t get through a single day without being crippled by guilt and paralyzed by the past. Dawn deserved to be first. And he would never be able to give her that.
He hopped into his jeans, which were still slightly damp and cold against his skin. He jammed the cuff back into his pocket, wishing he could just throw the damned thing in the garbage, but knowing if he did that, he’d be digging through coffee grounds and banana peels to get it back. He needed this, this torture, for some inexplicable reason. Why couldn’t he let himself be happy for more than one night?
Kellen knew he couldn’t just dart out the door without any explanation. Dawn might think something had happened to him other than him being too fucked up in the head to take what she so generously offered.
He’d leave her a note. Something short and to the point. No sense in drawing out necessary goodbyes.
He went to the piano, where he knew he’d find paper and a pencil. He also found a discarded dress, bits of rope, and the remnants of candles. He didn’t allow himself to think about the night before. Not the way Dawn had looked when he’d lit that first candle and seen her bound and beautiful. Not the way she’d felt surrounding him when he’d been buried inside her that first time. He didn’t even allow himself to touch the piano keys that had produced a melody capable of freeing him for a few short hours. He went straight for a blank piece of score paper and scrawled a hasty note on the back.
Dear Dawn,
Thank you for an entertaining evening. I had to leave early. I wish you well with your new song. I see an Academy Award in your future. Sorry things couldn’t work out between us. Take care of yourself.
Kelly
He frowned at his signature and covered up the y with e-n. He didn’t go by Kelly anymore. It was too frivolous a name for a broken, melancholy man.
Kellen propped the note on the music stand over her keyboard, where she’d be sure to see it, bent to collect a short piece of blue rope from the remnants on the floor, and fled the house. He wished he had a way to lock the door behind him; he didn’t like the thought of leaving her there alone with the door unlocked. Maybe he should have woken her before he fled like a coward, but he didn’t think he’d have been able to do the right thing and leave if she’d offered him so much as a smile. A kiss. An embrace.
Fucking stop!
&nbs
p; He avoided looking at Sara’s house as he hurried to the rental car parked in its short driveway. He felt that the house was staring at him and its disapproval weighed heavily on the base of his neck.
He fished the keys out of the center console where he’d hidden them the night before and started the engine. He wished he was driving his faithful Firebird instead of this run-of-the-mill sedan, but at least he had a means of escape. Colorful houses on stilts separated brief glimpses of the ocean as he sped toward the city of Galveston. Quaint housing developments blurred by one after another until he hit a stop light and slammed on his breaks to skid to halt. He had no idea how fast he’d been going, but he was sure the flashing blue lights behind him weren’t a good sign. The officer squawked his siren, and Kellen cringed before taking a right turn at the light to get out of the flow of traffic so he could get his ass chewed properly. He retrieved his wallet and rental car agreement out of the glovebox while he waited for the cop to mosey his way to the car. Kellen rolled down the window, and a blast of warm humidity hit him in the face.
“Where’s the fire, son?” the officer said in greeting.
Kellen forced himself not to roll his eyes. Police officers didn’t seem to like it when he did that.
“How fast was I going?”
“Eighty in a thirty-five.”
He couldn’t even plead the “I forgot to slow down in the town speed zone” argument, as eighty miles per hour would have been speeding even outside of town.
“Sorry about that, I was…” Fleeing an anguished memory and the potential for a bright future. “…distracted.”
“License and proof of insurance.”
“The car’s a rental,” Kellen said, but handed over his driver’s license and the folded-up insurance proof he kept in his wallet.
“Hold tight, Mr. Jamison,” the officer said as he looked over Kellen’s license. “I’ll be back with your citation.”
Kellen wouldn’t argue. He deserved a ticket.
The officer went back to his patrol SUV, while Kellen sat and stewed.
Eventually, the weight of the cuff in his pocket became unbearable. He tugged it out, stared at it for a long moment, and then secured it to his wrist. He wouldn’t be taking it off again. When he took it off, he forgot his promises, made mistakes, potentially hurt people besides himself. He felt his resolve strengthen as soon as the cuff was in place. Wearing it didn’t keep his thoughts from returning to Dawn, but the reminder would keep him from turning this fucking car around and returning to her.
“I’m surprised this is your first ticket,” the officer said from outside Kellen’s window.
Why? Because he was barefoot and shirtless, tattooed and long-haired, or because Toyota Corollas were notoriously fast cars?
“Usually folks who go as fast as you were going make a habit of it.”
“I don’t speed. I just have a lot on my mind this morning.”
“If you hadn’t been going so fast, I’d have let you off with a warning—”
Kellen tugged the ticket and his identification from the officer’s hand. He didn’t feel like shooting the breeze, thanks.
“I understand. Have a nice day,” Kellen said, rolling up his window.
“Watch your speed,” he heard the officer call.
Kellen nodded and shifted the car into drive.
He kept his attention on the road and his speed. It was a lot easier to concentrate on his driving with Sara’s wrist cuff in his peripheral view, reminding him to play by the rules, not take chances, and to love her forever.
He drove the length of Seawall Boulevard on his way to the ferry that would take him to Bolivar Peninsula and bypass the traffic nightmare that often surrounded Houston. It was still rather early, so there were only a few people out on the beaches that bordered the wide roadway. He sat at stop lights, watching pedestrians walk their dogs, parents lug beach gear while attempting to corral their children away from the road, and tourists snap pictures of ordinary seagulls. They all seemed to know where they belonged and what they were doing. Must be nice.
He passed hotel after hotel, restaurant after restaurant, and even a small amusement park that was built on a pier extending over the ocean. The Pleasure Pier. He couldn’t even find enough of a sense of humor to develop a joke about that one. He bet Owen would like to go to a place called The Pleasure Pier, but Owen’s preference wouldn’t be family friendly. A tiny smile felt foreign on his Kellen’s face. He needed to get back to Owen. Owen was the one person who only made him happy and never gave him grief. Kellen was lucky to have someone like Owen in his life, and he desperately needed someone to confide in at the moment.
Kellen followed the road signs to the ferry dock and was glad the line was short. He had no idea how long he’d be stuck on the boat with nothing to occupy his mind while it crossed the wide bay bustling with barge traffic. Maybe he’d have time to call Owen. Just a few minutes’ conversation with him was sure to put Kellen in a better frame of mind. He was about to crawl out of his skin.
He waited until the ferry launched from the dock before removing his seatbelt and leaving the car with cellphone in hand to stand along the railing. He turned on his phone and found he had multiple messages in voicemail. All of them were from Owen. Kellen had told him that he was turning his phone off. He wondered if he’d missed out on anything important the night before or if Owen was just bored because he had no one better to bug when Kellen wasn’t on the bus.
Kellen didn’t bother listening to the voicemails, noting that his phone’s battery was low, and dialed Owen’s number.
Owen answered on the second ring. “There you are. I was starting to think you’d been eaten by sharks.”
“Didn’t encounter any sharks. A pig this morning, but no sharks.”
“A pig?”
“I got a speeding ticket.”
“Are you sure?” Owen said. “Wait, is this really Kelly? Adam, did you steal Kelly’s phone again? This has to be a joke.”
Kellen smiled, feeling better already. “I had a lot on my mind when I, uh, left… the woman I… sort of slept with last night.”
There was dead silence on the other end. Kellen tugged the phone from his ear and stared at the screen to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. Still connected.
“Owen? Are you there?”
“You slept with a woman last night. You? Kellen Soaring Eagle Jamison slept with a woman? Were you conscious?”
Kellen chuckled. “Yes, I was a willing participant. But this morning, I sort of just… left. Should I go back? I shouldn’t, should I? Better to cut all ties now, right?”
“I don’t know. Do you like her or was it just a crazy, I-haven’t-been-properly-laid-in-five-years, lust-type thing?”
Kellen blew out his cheeks. “A bit of both, I think. I do like her, but I don’t think I would have slept with her if you’d been there to keep me in check.”
“Fuck,” Owen said. “Do you mean to tell me the only thing I had to do to get you to sleep with a chick was disappear?”
“No,” Kellen said, shaking his head. “There was something special between me and her. I just got freaked out about cheating on Sara and left before she woke up.”
“Then, yes, you should turn around immediately and go back to her, you fucking idiot. You haven’t felt so much as a tickle in your cock for a woman in over five years, much less anything deeper. The thing with Lindsey can wait.”
“Lindsey?” Kellen said, his eyebrows drawing together. “Who’s Lindsey? Her name is Dawn.”
“Didn’t you get my voicemails? All seven of them?”
“My battery is low, so I haven’t listened to them yet.”
Owen laughed. “Well, dude, we all got a bit of shocking news last night. Lindsey, that pretty little groupie you tied up on Christmas Eve, she showed up after the concert and, you are not going to believe this bro, she’s…”
Kellen waited for him to finish, knowing Owen liked to fuck with him by creating long, pregnant
pauses. “She’s what?” No answer. “Owen?”
He looked at his phone and found the screen blank. Dead battery. Damn it. With a huff of frustration, Kellen shoved the phone into his pocket, tugging a bit of blue rope free when he jerked his hand back out.
He clutched the piece of rope in his fist. “Dawn,” he whispered and looked back toward the island. Missing her. Wishing he hadn’t left without saying goodbye.
A large gray body, slick and sleek, crested above the water. His breath caught. He’d never seen a wild dolphin before. Sara would have been over the moon with excitement.
“Sara,” he said under his breath.
Kellen sighed and clutched his forehead in one had.
Dawn. Sara. Lindsey. Women would be the death of him. He tried to avoid them, but his actions didn’t do any good.
The ferry began to slow as it approached the dock at the tip of Bolivar Peninsula. Kellen climbed back in the rental car and contemplated his options. He couldn’t go back to Dawn; she was sure to read something into that. And he was exceedingly curious to find out what was going on with that Lindsey woman. All he remembered about her was that she held a shocking resemblance to Sara, had a