Nixon slammed the gun onto the table directly in front of me. “Take this with you everywhere, always wipe your prints just in case. Shoot first. Feel nothing. Mil isn’t in the position to give us justification for any secrets let alone leaving the City without permission.”
“Permission?” I looked between them.
Sergio’s eyebrows rose. “Apparently we didn’t teach you everything. You leave the city, you gotta ask the Capo. Tex would have known and right now Tex is ready to rip her apart limb by limb for even thinking it would be okay to step foot on a plane without his consent. Makes him look weak. Makes the families look stupid. Makes her a shiny red target.”
“Shit.” I grabbed the gun. “Good thing I didn’t take that impromptu trip to Mexico last night.”
Neither guy laughed.
Chase would have.
My gut clenched.
I hated pumping him for information. But I knew I had no choice, not now. Nixon was right, we weren’t given choices.
You acted.
And hoped to God, chose right.
My head pounded with information while my heart still felt like it was cracking in two.
I should be focusing on my new mission.
Instead of smelling her on my skin.
After two showers.
“No distractions,” Nixon barked before he left, and the door slammed behind him.
“That was…” I blew out a breath. “Different.”
“I did warn you.” Sergio stood, his eyes fell to the table. “He killed his own father in cold blood with that gun, keep it safe.”
“Pep talks,” I grumbled. “Work on it.”
Sergio snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, I’ll think about it. Maybe your sister can help.”
I pointed the gun at him and smirked. “What was that?”
“And to think I was worried you wouldn’t fit in.”
I turned off the safety.
He rolled his eyes and left the room.
I put the safety back on and laid the gun on the table in front of me, then started spinning it with my finger.
A year ago I was bar tending and involved in underground fighting.
A year ago I knew about my heritage but was never involved.
A year ago I was innocent, blind, stupid.
And now, now I had a gun from one of the most powerful mob bosses in history… laying in front of me like I’d earned the right to use it.
It was a lot to take in.
Normally I would talk to Val.
But that relationship shattered the minute she married Sergio.
I lost my best friend.
Only to lose another.
El.
And now, my stomach clenched with the thought that I could lose someone else, someone who deserved so much more than secrets and lies.
Chase.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
El
THE MOVIE THEATER was completely empty as promised. I tried to paste smile on my face, which proved difficult when Chris kept sending me texts about not being able to wait until next week.
Chris: So excited! Can’t wait to kiss you.
Another heart emoji.
Chris: Thanks for giving us a chance, it’s going to be great, you’ll see!
I finally just shoved the phone in my pocket, it’s not like it would be Dante on the other end calling or even wanting to talk to me. Apparently he was done talking.
And moving on.
Like I should be.
I refocused myself on the movie as Trace gripped Bee’s arm, Ryan Reynolds popped onto the screen. Mo threw popcorn and Val handed me a piece of red licorice.
It felt so normal.
How could they act that normal when we had three armed men outside just to keep us safe?
I frowned again.
Safe.
I was safe. In that theater, but safe was only a word, the men could easily get over taken if they weren’t evenly matched.
Safe.
I gripped the arm rests as a gunshot sounded on the screen, nobody seemed fazed. I was sweating from one single sound.
Another gunshot sounded; apparently, it was an action flick.
And suddenly it was all too much to take. I stood and walked out.
One of the men was by the door, I didn’t know his name but he seemed nice enough maybe five years older than me with buzzed hair close to his head and blue eyes. “You all right in there?”
“Action movie. I’ve seen enough,” I said lamely.
He laughed and crossed his arms. “Haven’t we all?”
“You look like—”
“I’m going to have to stop you right there,” He held out his hand. “I’m Ax, Sergio’s favorite and only brother.”
I took his hand. “Ah makes sense, they only send the best huh?”
“Not every day a trained assassin gets to watch Ryan Reynolds,” he joked.
I frowned. “Isn’t it demeaning?”
“Protecting those you love is never demeaning,” he said with a simple shrug.
I chewed my lower lip and leaned against the wall. “They want to marry me off to a really nice guy.”
“I know.”
“Ah so you know who I am?”
“Doesn’t matter if I know who you are — do you know who you are?” He fired back softly.
Stunned, I think my mouth dropped open a bit before I closed it and shook my head. “Uh, yeah, last I checked.”
“Hmm, just making sure, you seem a bit confused.”
“I’m at the movies with mob boss wives and talking to an associate who probably knows at least twelve different ways to kill me with a toothpick.”
“Eh, more like seventeen,” He waved me off with a smile.
The door to the theater was shoved open, Bee stepped out, her eyes were sad. Ax nodded and stepped away.
“You all right?” She reached for my arm.
“Yeah.” I gulped. “Just, I’ve had enough action you know?”
She grinned. “I’m sorry I didn’t think it would be this violent, it probably reminds you of… Xavier.”
I froze. Because actually, I hadn’t thought of Xavier since Dante’s mouth roamed across my body. My mind was consumed by Dante, only Dante.
The gunshots reminded me of his job.
Of him pushing me into someone else’s arms.
Of not being able to make my own choice.
My head jerked up. “You would do it again? All of it?”
Bee blinked.
“This,” I spread my arms wide. “This life, the scary ass man you married, you’d do it all again?”
Her lips tilted into a small smile. “Hell yes I would.”
We sat and talked for the next hour and when we left the movie I felt lighter than I had in years.
She told me scary Phoenix stories.
And then added in cute stories about their little boy.
Making it impossible to be terrified of her husband when he got peed on so much.
Making him seem less monstrous.
And more man.
Maybe that’s how all these men functioned with one hundred percent of everything they were born and bred to do.
Living a life of extreme violence.
And extreme blood.
It somehow balanced everything.
And oddly enough — it made me feel safe.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Dante
IT WAS WEDNESDAY.
It had been six days since I’d kissed her.
Six days of lonely torture, sleeping with a pillow over my ears while trying not to listen to my sister and her new husband.
Sleeping with this aching need that wouldn’t leave.
Everything reminded me of her.
Every. Damn. Thing.
I suddenly hated breakfast because she wasn’t sharing it with me, and when I drove to school without her by my side, I ended up spending more time punching the steering wheel than actually driving.
 
; I’d stopped off at Nixon’s in a moment of weakness to see if I could take El to school only to have her already gone. And see Mil waltz in with a huge smile on her face as she grabbed Chase’s hand and jerked him down the hall.
As if nothing had even fucking happened.
I’d had to look away, the joy on his face was too much, like maybe, finally, whatever shit she’d been doing was done, she was his again.
It forced me to drive to class early so I wouldn’t glare at her across the table or say something I’d regret.
And driving to school early just left me alone with my thoughts way too much. And was obviously bad for the steering wheel of my new SUV.
The one Mil could have easily seen.
I’d been careless.
Because I was that desperate to see El.
Once I found an empty space, I killed the ignition and rubbed my temples with my fingers, digging into the constant headache with such force I saw spots.
I waited for the inevitable.
For the minute El would get out of the car.
Five minutes.
Four.
Three.
Two.
I sucked in a breath as the black Mercedes pulled up. She slowly got out, adjusting her skirt. My eyes lowered, God those legs were incredible, shoving my face between them had surpassed every vivid fantasy I’d ever had about her. My mouth fucking watered for more, my body strained toward her as she pulled off her sunglasses and shoved them in her messenger bag.
And before I could stop myself, I was getting out of my car.
I was maybe two feet away from her when a body blocked my view.
A very Chris like body.
He pulled her in for a hug and yelled. “Surprise!”
I almost puked my guts out right on the sidewalk then pulled Nixon’s gun on him and fired two rounds.
The Hell?
Before she could even say anything, Chris was kissing her mouth.
Correction. My mouth.
My body.
I licked that body, up and down, inside and out.
I swayed on my feet and watched, waited for her to push him away, to say he wasn’t what she wanted.
Instead, she hung her head and then smiled up at him. “It’s good to see you too.”
The knife twisted into my gut, and twisted, and twisted. She looked past him, directly at me.
And then looked away.
Like I was just a figment of her imagination.
Like I didn’t exist at all.
I don’t know how long I stood there, watching them walk to class, it was at least ten minutes until I was able to shove the angry haze of jealousy far enough into my brain to actually function by putting one foot in front of the other.
I was completely useless during class and only managed to catch half the material my business communications professor said.
When class ended I jumped out of my seat and went in search of El.
Her class wasn’t out yet.
I waited by the door.
When I saw the outline of her body, when I smelled her perfume mixed with that shampoo that smelled like peaches, I snatched her back against me, pinning her against the wall.
I tilted her chin toward me, her skin was softer than I remembered six days ago, her eyes more clear.
Her lower lip trembled.
I ran my thumb across it and closed my eyes as I leaned forward and inhaled. She’d always smelled so damn good, like fruit and vanilla cream.
“You left,” El accused.
“No choice.” I kept my eyes closed, if I looked at her, I’d want her more than I already did and my control was already snapping with every inhale, with every small innocent touch of my hands against her skin.
“If you didn’t want me around you could have just told me, you didn’t have to flee the house, Dante.”
My eyes snapped open. “Is that what you really think? That I don’t want you around?”
Her glare said it all.
“My tongue was inside you,” I reminded her. “You were naked, shaking beneath me, I spread these thighs,” I kicked her legs apart, shoving my knee in between them. She let out a little gasp. “Licked between these gorgeous legs,” I hissed. “And you think I don’t want you around?”
El didn’t say anything, her cheeks tinged pink as she swallowed and looked down. “Why?”
“Because you aren’t mine,” I pressed my cheek against hers, my lips rubbed against her ear. “Had I stayed. You would be. In every way. And I’m not that much of a bastard to take everything from you — when you’re leaving.” She was quiet. “You are leaving still, right?”
Her eyes locked on mine. “Give me a reason to stay.”
“I’m carrying a gun in my jeans, a knife in my boot, and hits on three different people right now, you wanna stay? For that?”
“No.” She kissed my cheek and whispered, “But I would stay for you.”
Before I could ask what she meant, she was already shuffling through the crowds of students going to class.
I slammed my hand against the wall, hey at least it wasn’t the steering wheel this time.
“Lady troubles?” Andrei’s voice was really starting to grate on my nerves.
“Always,” I lied. “Something I can do for you?”
“Business… is good.”
I nodded. “Great. What’s that have to do with me?”
“You help us with the next shipment, distribution, and we’ll give you a big cut. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds like a really easy way to go to prison.” I sighed. “So I guess I’m in. Does this mean I get to find out who we’re working with?”
I used we on purpose so he’d think of me as being on their side.
When I wanted to kill them all.
“You don’t need details.”
I gritted my teeth. “Actually since it’s my life I think I do need details. Especially since I’m most likely doing all of this against my own family — I joined you — basically spat in the Italians’ face and now you say I don’t need details?”
He shoved me against the wall. “Not here.”
“Where then?” I was done being patient.
He looked from left to right. “It would be presumptuous to assume that you’re irreplaceable.”
“Then call me presumptuous.” I grinned.
He scowled. “We’ll be in touch, it’s a big shipment, there will be no fights this week, we have to keep a low profile during this time.”
By we, he meant him.
The only son left in the Petrov family.
The youngest of them all.
And somehow, the most dangerous.
Because a man who had nothing left to lose — against men who had everything to lose?
It never ended well.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
El
SINCE CHRIS SURPRISED me, it seemed only natural, normal even to have a giant family dinner.
On a Wednesday night.
Wine was poured.
And I was seated directly across from Dante. It would have been easier if he ignored me. Instead, his eyes had been locked on my face since we all sat down. His blue eyes so intense that I had trouble not squirming in my seat. And I was reminded about our conversation.
About his tell.
About him looking at my soul.
I grabbed my water glass with a shaky hand and took a sip.
Frank stood. Everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads.
Everyone but Dante.
No, he kept his eyes glued to mine.
“Amen.” Frank made the motion of the cross.
“So…” Chris passed me a plate of something I wouldn’t be able to stomach if Dante didn’t stop staring at me. “Business as usual?”
The sound of forks scraping across glass plates had my nerves on high alert because they suddenly all. Stopped.
“We try not to talk business during meals,” Nixon reminded him in a lethal tone tha
t had Chris paling a bit next to me.
“I see.” Chris cleared his throat and suddenly didn’t seem fazed. He grabbed another piece of chicken, while I tried not to pass out.
“So,” Chase smirked in my direction. His face promised trouble. My stomach clenched. “Chris.” And here we go. “Once you take El back to Seattle with you, what’s the end game? You gonna start trying for kids right away? Maybe buy a nice mini-van? A small dog? I say dream big, am I right?”
Dante reached for Chase’s wine and started chugging.
I didn’t blame him.
Nor did anyone stop him.
“Actually,” Chris beamed, the guy beamed as if he was so damn proud of whatever idea was about to float out of his perfect little model head. “I was thinking we’d move out of the parents’ house and—”
“Parents?” Chase, Dante, and I said in unison while Tex and Nixon shared a look across the table. Even Phoenix was smiling down at his chicken. What the hell?
Chris laughed. “Yeah well why move out when we live in a ten thousand square foot house? It’s not like I live in their basement and play Warcraft all day.”
“Damn it, and here I thought you could help me beat the next level,” Chase teased.
Chris joined in with some fake laughter that had me praying for lightning to strike the table so I could either die or leave. Those were my only two options at this point. Death or survival by hiding in my room.
“As I was saying, I was thinking I’d move out and we could go pick out a nice house together, nothing too big—”
“Oh, of course.” Chase nodded like he totally understood everything Chris was saying and agreed, you know because his house wasn’t going to be twice the size of Chris’s parents. They were building a moat. He was about to live in a castle with one other individual, they were going to need one of those airport sidewalks to get from point A to point B.
“Yeah,” Chris shoveled a bite of chicken in his mouth, chewed twice, and then started talking again. A piece of chicken fell out of his mouth onto his plate. It was a small piece. I side-eyed it, then glanced up to see Dante giving me a knowing smirk. Like he knew how completely turned off I was from this guy’s chewing — from the conversation. From everything.
Chris kissed like he chewed — with the sole purpose to get to the next step, digestion, more food, sex. It was a means to an end.