know this.

  "I interrupted you; go on."

  After just an instant, Stacy did. "I did lose a good deal of

  blood and was down for two weeks, but after that I never

  looked back. I have a peace, Tanner. I certainly have no

  guarantees concerning life, but if I had to make some type of

  guess concerning the future, I would say that I'll be here to be

  your wife and a mother to the children.

  "If in fact God's plan is quite different from that, I still

  have peace. I know where I'm going, and I trust that He will

  take care of the three of you in my absence."

  Tanner refused to believe in something he couldn't feel or

  see. Her peace and trust were a mystery to him, but he admired

  her tremendously. At one time he'd thought of her as weak, but

  now he saw that Stacy's faith made her stronger. However, he

  had no desire to discuss any of this with his wife. He knew she

  would gladly talk of it at any time, but the subject made him

  334

  uncomfortable, and so he turned his attention to the baby.

  Stacy saw his eyes go to her stomach.

  When Stacy first arrived back at Winslow, and Tanner

  seemed so fascinated with her shape, Stacy thought he would

  be taking a more consistent interest, but this was not to be.

  She finally understood the reason he had put space between

  them; he'd been afraid of losing her.

  Without asking this time, Tanner lowered the covers just

  enough. The fabric of Stacy's gown was sheer, but even this

  was too much. With tender movements and eyes centered

  wholly on Stacy's extended abdomen, he moved the garment

  aside, baring her stomach for his touch,

  The baby had been quiet for quite some time, but Tanner's

  gentle touch roused a response. Soon the baby was kicking

  and making Tanner's face light with wonder. Tanner thought

  he could stay in such a position all night, feeling Stacy's soft

  skin and the child within her, but a glance at her face stopped

  all movement. She was sound asleep.

  Tanner stared at her a moment and then bent and quietly

  kissed the skin of her stomach before softly restoring her

  gown and the bedclothes. He quickly readied himself for bed

  and climbed in beside her. Stacy moved only slightly when he

  shifted close and put his arm around her. He didn't know

  when anything had felt so good as to lie beside her and hold

  her close.

  Oh, Tanner, he said to himself as sleep crowded in. How

  much you've missed.

  "MAY WE GO FISHING TODAY, MUM?"

  Stacy's attention was elsewhere, so she did not answer her

  son. Tanner, who was breakfasting with his wife, heard

  Drew's question and simply waited to see how she would

  respond

  "Mum?"

  "Yes, darling," she now acknowledged him.

  "May we go fishing today?"

  "Oh, I think that would be fine. This morning?"

  Drew nodded anxiously, and Stacy smiled at him before

  glancing at her husband. Tanner's look was a bit stern, but

  Stacy met his ga2e, her chin rising in the air ever so slightly.

  Tanner quickly lowered his gaze to his own plate before she

  could detect the gleam of amusement.

  He'd wondered from time to time what it would take to

  make a tigress out of his wife, and now he certainly had his

  answer.

  "When exactly will you be going?" This came from Tanner.

  Even though Stacy's heart was pounding, she answered calmly.

  "In about an hour."

  Stacy sounded like she was addressing a servant. Tanner

  felt like laughing, but kept it well hidden. He simply nodded

  and went back to his breakfast.

  336

  Stacy contemplated his bent head for a moment and i

  speared a slice of tomato from her plate. The last three

  together had been incredible. Tanner couldn't have

  more attentive. He ate every meal with Stacy and Drew

  even lay down with Stacy when she took her nap. She knew!

  never slept, but he was there when she drifted off and th when she woke.

  One such afternoon, before Stacy fell asleep, she ques-1

  tioned him as to his recent business deal. His answer sur*l

  prised her.

  "I've turned the entire thing over to Edmond."

  "I didn't think you trusted Edmond with business details."

  Tanner shrugged. "It's his money as well as mine. If he

  wants to mess it up, he'll be out as well."

  "But what about your money?"

  Again Tanner had only shrugged, causing Stacy to stare at

  him until he kissed her and told her to go to sleep. She had

  given way to slumber, but the memory came back so strongly

  now that she paused in her eating.

  "Is your food all right?"

  "What?" Stacy gave him a blank look.

  Tanner stared at her and stated the question again.

  "I said, is your food all right?"

  "Oh, yes. I was just wool gathering."

  "Are you in pain, Stacy?" Tanner's voice was low.

  "No," Stacy answered in surprise and wondered what her

  expression had been. A glance at Drew told her he was attending

  every word, so she smiled to reassure him.

  "If you're done eating, Drew, please go with Mrs. Maxwell.

  I'll come for you when I'm ready to go."

  "Should I change into fishing clothes?"

  "Yes, Mrs. Maxwell will know the ones."

  Tanner spoke as soon as Drew had left the room.

  "I'll meet you in the foyer when you're ready."

  "You're going with us?" It had crossed Stacy's mind that he

  might, but she had immediately dismissed the idea.

  "Yes. I'll drive you out and bring you back."

  337

  "Thank you, Tanner," Stacy said with a smile. Tanner's

  warmed noticeably in the light of her pleasure.

  I Tanner went back to eating, but Stacy was thoughtful.

  (What a strange marriage they'd had thus far, but it seemed to

  be coming around Stacy thought of how many other times she

  had expected her marriage to improve only to be disappointed,

  but swiftly pushed the thought away. This was here

  and now, and this was what she would work on and pray for,

  not dwelling on the aches and mistakes of the past.

  Husband and wife parted soon after with plans to meet

  and go fishing. Stacy took herself back to her room, and

  Tanner, after ordering a small, enclosed buggy, told Price he

  needed warm hunting gear. Less than an hour later, Tanner

  stood wearing knee-high suede moccasins and buckskin

  pants and shirt as he stared out the window at the pouring

  rain.

  He wasn't completely convinced that the sudden rain

  would deter Stacy and Drew's plans. They were, he realized, a

  hearty pair, and Stacy was most determined to please her son.

  With a sudden, brilliant idea that he hoped wouldn't land him

  in trouble, he moved toward the door.

  Stacy moved toward the nursery, ready to find Drew and

  start on their way. She knew it was pouring but told herself it

  could stop anytime. If Tanner had ordered a covered coach,

  they could just wait out the rain. The thought of being outside


  in the rain at all gave her a sudden chill, but she pushed it away

  and told herself to buck up.

  Knowing that Tanner would be waiting, she walked on to

  the nursery, a long, narrow room done in all shades of green

  and filled with every conceivable type of toy. When she

  arrived, however, she found that Tanner was not downstairs

  but had reached the room ahead of her. He and Drew were in

  338

  deep conversation on the rug. Tanner was stretched out on his

  side by the fire, seemingly miles of him, and Stacy for once

  was able to sit down and listen.

  "What is it called?" Drew asked again, as he ran a hand

  over his father's shirtfront. He was sitting cross-legged near

  the older man's chest and speaking directly into Tanner's face.

  "Buckskin. Made from the hide of a deer."

  "It's soft. Do I have buckhide clothes?"

  "Buckskin," Tanner corrected him. "I'm not sure that you

  do. Would you like some?"

  "Yes," Drew's eyes stared into Tanner's. "Then I could

  wear them fishing."

  "Do you and your mother fish in the rain?" Tanner's voice

  was a study in casualness.

  "Oh, yes," he answered simply. "Sometimes you catch

  more fish."

  Tanner nodded. "I think that sounds like good fun, but you

  know your mother needs a little extra care these days."

  Drew nodded. "She has a baby in her tummy." He held out

  small hands, about ten inches apart, to show his father the

  baby's size.

  "Yes, she does," he said with a smile. "And until the baby is

  born, which will be very soon now, she needs to take extra

  rest. Most of the time fishing is fine, but in the rain she could

  catch a chill."

  "And then the baby would catch a chill. The baby feels

  what Mum feels and eats what she eats."

  "That's right, so maybe for today we had better not fish."

  "All right." Drew sounded neither happy nor sad, but

  accepting.

  Stacy watched Tanner scrutinize Drew, knowing that he

  was trying to read his son's thoughts.

  "So what shall we play instead?"

  Drew's mouth dropped open in a way that shamed Tanner.

  "You're going to play with me?"

  "Anything you'd like," Tanner stated softly.

  339

  Delighted with his father's offer, Drew made a lunge for

  Tanner's neck, and a moment later they were wrestling on the

  nursery room rug, something Tanner had never done with his

  own father.

  The morning passed in great fun that went from wrestling

  to trains, boats, pretend fishing, and back to trains again. They

  included Lady Richardson in their play, and although she

  didn't wrestle, both of Stacy's "men" laughed when Tanner

  helped her to the floor and she groaned all the way down. The

  three were not disturbed until just an hour before lunch.

  "I'm sorry, my lord." This came from Reece as he soundlessly

  opened the door. "Lord and Lady Hawkesbury and their

  sons are here to see you."

  "Sterling and Preston?" Drew had come to his feet.

  "Yes, Lord Drew."

  "Go ahead with Reece, Drew," Tanner told his ecstatic son

  when he looked to his father. "And tell them your mother and

  I will be right down."

  Tanner helped Stacy to her feet and then to their room so

  she could freshen up.

  "You can go ahead, Tanner. I'll be right down."

  "I'll wait for you," he told her simply and sprawled in a

  chair while she sat before the mirror and repaired her hair.

  After just a moment, Stacy caught Tanner's eye in the glass.

  "That was quick work on your part when the rain began."

  Tanner grinned. "I'll admit it was impulsive, but after your

  outburst a few days ago, I thought I stood a better chance with

  Drew."

  "You make me sound like a shrew." Stacy's voice was dry.

  "Maybe it would be easier if you were."

  This comment made Stacy take her hands from her hair

  and turn to her husband. She watched him for a moment but

  didn't know what to say. Tanner finally shrugged

  "Don't mind me. It certainly isn't your fault that at times I

  forget I have a wife and son."

  "Are you trying to tell me you want me to nag you?"

  "Maybe just a gentle reminder now and then."

  340

  Stacy knew this needed no reply, so she turned back to the

  mirror and just moments later stood.

  "You could have called your maid to do that," Tanner

  commented as they moved out the door.

  "True. But I didn't mind doing it myself."

  "Are you really up to seeing anyone today?"

  "Certainly. I feel fine."

  They were at the top of the stairs when Stacy looked up to

  find Tanner studying her.

  "What is it that you expect to see, Tanner?"

  "If only I knew," he admitted "You will tell me when your

  pains begin?"

  "I think you'll know."

  Tanner slowly shook his head. "You rarely ask for help, an'd

  you never complain. I'm afraid you're going to excuse yourself

  from the dinner table some evening, and by the time I get

  upstairs it will be all over."

  Stacy put a hand on her husband's cheek and stroked softly.

  "You probably won't want to be anywhere near me when I'm

  giving birth, but I will tell you when things begin. If you're not

  here, I'll send word if I know where you are."

  "I'll be here," Tanner assured her in a voice that only a fool

  would argue with before he captured the hand on his face to

  lead his wife downstairs.

  "How can you believe the Bible to be God's Word? What in

  your opinion gives it merit?" Tanner asked Brandon after

  lunch, when both men had settled in the study. The children

  were with Mrs. Maxwell, and the women were in one of the

  small upstairs salons.

  Brandon could not say how they'd come onto this discussion

  of God and the Bible, but because it was a first, he wanted

  to remain amicable and keep the door of inquiry open.

  341

  "I'm rather glad you asked that Tanner," Brandon complimented

  him.

  Tanner stared at him in surprise. Knowing Brandon's

  stand on the Bible, he'd been expecting some sort of attack or

  rebuke for questioning the Bible's validity. Brandon's openness

  caused him to wait almost anxiously for a reply.

  "If the Bible is not entirely from God, then the basis of

  authority for most of what I believe is cracked and unreliable."

  Tanner was clearly listening to every word, so Brandon went

  on.

  "You asked what gives it merit; I'll tell you. Some 3000

  times the Bible specifically, directly, claims to be from God-- not man's word about God, but God's word about man.

  "I'm also amazed how so many prophecies made hundreds

  of years before their intended fulfillment actually came

  to pass."

  "What does that prove?"

  "Have you read the Bible, Tanner?" Brandon challenged

  him quietly. "Written by many men, each author agrees about

  problems and themes that are very controversial. For instance,

  the world
culture in Old Testament days overwhelmingly

  believed in many gods; yet the Old Testament authors

  unanimously affirm the existence of one God and creator of

  all.

  "They also affirm the universality of man's sinfulness and

  the need for the blood of an unblemished sacrifice to remove

  the guilt of sin. One author's theology never contradicts

  another's--all contribute to one single system of belief."

  This was new to Tanner, and he took time to think about

  what Brandon was saying, but he was still not persuaded. After

  a minute he asked a question that had long disturbed him.

  "What about the inconsistencies?"

  "What inconsistencies?" Brandon pressed him.

  "Stacy told me once that she takes the Bible literally when

  it talks of the whole earth being flooded or Jonah being

  swallowed by a huge fish, but the Bible also says God has

  feathers. Am I to believe He's a bird?"

  342

  Brandon smiled and answered gently. "The charge that

  the Bible is strewn with inconsistencies is hardly a new one,

  Tanner. But I have found it necessary to distinguish between

  inconsistencies and problems. There are many problems, to

  be sure, but I've found that with objective bias and careful

  research, the apparent inconsistencies dissolve in the face of

  honest study."

  Tanner could not argue with this because he had never put

  in any time of "honest study." He was deeply impressed by

  Brandon's knowledge, but the real impact came from his deep

  conviction and the way he'd spoken of it. However, Tanner

  was not convinced. He believed himself more than capable of

  handling his own affairs and taking care of his own. Why

  would he need God? It was a question he wouldn't have been

  so comfortable with if eternity had come to mind

  Had Brandon been able to read his thoughts he would

  have questioned him on that very subject. But as it was he

  could not read his friend's thoughts, and when Tanner changed

  the subject, Brandon felt he had little choice but to let the

  matter drop.

  "You look wonderful," Sunny commented as she took in

  Stacy's healthy glow and round figure.

  "I look huge," Stacy corrected her. "Sometimes I find

  Drew staring at me, and I know he's trying to decide which is

  larger, his mother or his pony."

  Sunny chuckled, well able to remember how Stacy felt. At

  this point in any woman's pregnancy, it felt as if her condition

  was going to last forever.

  "I'm so glad you felt free to come by," Stacy told her friend