"Let us be your food," Damian said, and I was suddenly staring into the green of his eyes as if I'd never seen them before, never realized how fair of face, how . . .
I shook my head a little more forcefully and took two steps back so I wasn't between the two of them. "I'm going to . . . go somewhere . . . else."
"Why?" Nathaniel asked.
"I . . . You're trying to bespell me again."
"We're engaged. We'd marry if you could legally take more than one spouse. I'm not trying to force you to do anything we haven't already done. You have to feed the ardeur before we get on the plane. You can't risk feeding hundreds of miles in the air."
"I'd be too nervous," I said.
"That means it's more likely to get out of control, not less."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I tried to call up some anger to protect me from his so-reasonable voice and the two of them kneeling so close to me.
"What if you lost control on the plane and it spread to everyone?"
"I've only lost control like that once, and that was because the old vampire council was fucking with us."
"Emergencies happen, Anita; let's not make the ardeur one of them."
"This doesn't even sound like you, Nathaniel."
"Maybe it sounds like me," Damian said. "I'm afraid to go back to Ireland, but I'll do it for you."
"You're not doing it for me. You're doing it to help the police save lives."
"You can believe what you want, but if it had just been Edward asking me, I wouldn't be going. I'm going because my master wants me to go and my leopard is going with me to hold my hand. I want to help save lives and make up for some of the things I've done in my existence, but I am going for you, Anita."
I wanted to say, Don't go for me. Go for yourself, but I was afraid he'd change his mind, and we needed him. "I don't know what to say to that, Damian."
"Say you'll make love to us. Say you'll let us be your food."
They were right about one thing--I did need to feed before I got on the plane, but I was forgetting something. It was something important. Nathaniel's fingers played with the edge of his T-shirt, and began to slowly lift the cloth to bare the flatness of his abs an inch at a time.
I backed up a step. If I was going, it was time to leave, but why did I want to go? I loved Nathaniel. We had sex on a regular basis. There was no reason to run away, so why was I wanting to run? It was like I was forgetting something that I really needed to remember. Whatever I had forgotten was the reason why this wasn't a good idea, but for the life of me I couldn't think of it, just this nagging feeling that there was something.
I closed my eyes and turned around so I couldn't watch them slowly taking their shirts off. "There's something we're forgetting," I managed to say, "something important."
"You're missing the show that we're putting on just for you," Nathaniel said, in a voice that had more honey in it than I ever remembered, as if his words could drip down my skin in thick, sweet lines.
"This is wrong. It's the power talking. It's making us forget something important. A reason that we shouldn't feed now," I said.
Nathaniel said, "Turn around, Anita, please."
I started to do it, and had to catch myself, clenching my hands into fists.
"No, Nathaniel, she's right. We're both drunk on the new power. It's like when you're first in love. It makes you forget things."
"What sort of things?" Nathaniel asked, his voice sounding more normal.
"All sorts of things," I said.
"Important things," Damian said.
I opened my eyes and turned cautiously to them. They were both shirtless, which wasn't helpful, so I closed my eyes again. All I wanted to do was go to them and start touching all that bare skin.
"Everyone take a deep breath and ground and center," I said with my eyes still closed. I tried to follow my own advice, and found it much harder than it should have been. I knew how to control my breathing, and once you controlled that your pulse and heart had to follow. Either everything sped up, or nothing did. I knew all that, but I could still feel my pulse in my throat.
"We're going with you to Ireland," Damian said.
"That's the plan," I said in a voice that was still slightly breathless.
"Then you'll need to keep us for food there. If you feed on us now, we won't be any good to you for at least twenty-four hours, maybe forty-eight. Two days where you'll have to find other food."
"We're taking Nicky," Nathaniel said.
"He can't feed her for two days by himself without compromising his ability to fight."
"We're taking Domino."
"He's emergency food only. He's not one of my lovers anymore, remember?" I said.
"Fortune, Echo, and Magda are going," Nathaniel said.
"Well, that's true," Damian said, and sounded less certain.
"I'm thinking of taking Dev, too," I said.
"See? She'll have plenty of food," Nathaniel said.
"But you weren't thinking that when you started us taking off our shirts."
The energy in the room was calmer now; I could think again. Whatever Nathaniel was doing had stopped. Damian had made him think too much about other things. It was hard to keep your concentration pure enough to do magic when you were having to think about relationship issues. Maybe that's why so many major witches and wizards throughout history never married?
"I'm sorry, Anita. Damian. You're right. If we'd been the only two lovers going to Ireland, I'd have still wanted the three of us to make love and feed the ardeur together. We've never done that before, and I know it's a rush when Anita and I do it with another person."
"I look forward to it," Damian said, "but not tonight. She should feed off someone who isn't traveling with us."
I looked at them and they were still yummy to see all shirtless and well, just handsome as hell, or maybe handsome as heaven--yeah, that sounded better--but they weren't so overwhelmingly beautiful that I had to have them now, right now. The compulsion was gone, replaced by my usual desire for Nathaniel, which was a near-constant like breathing, and there was a new spark when I looked at Damian that wasn't as strong, but it was most definitely there.
"I've never gotten this much power before. If I'm not careful I'll want to use it all the time." Nathaniel was frowning.
"I told you, it's like being in love, that new-relationship energy that almost overwhelms you, but feels so good."
"So instead of NRE it's NME?" I asked.
"I know NRE is new-relationship energy, but what's NME?" Nathaniel asked.
"New metaphysical energy," I said.
He grinned. "I like it, and it's accurate, especially because my new magic seems to be based on sex and love, but I like New Magical Energy, instead of Metaphysical."
"Lust and love are what Belle Morte's bloodline does best," Damian said.
"Lust is Belle Morte's line," I said. "Love is what Jean-Claude's power added to it when he became powerful enough to be his own bloodline."
Damian nodded. "It's true. There is a softer power to this energy than anything Belle Morte ever offered."
"Is love softer energy than lust?" I asked.
He thought about it and finally smiled. "No, no, I suppose it's not."
"Love is the hardest thing of all," Nathaniel said. "Just sex is so much easier."
I gave him a look.
He smiled at me. "It's like the difference between sleeping with someone and really sleeping with them. Having sex is easy compared to trying to learn to sleep with someone."
I laughed. "God, that is the truth."
"Love is even harder than sleeping overnight in the same bed for the first few times. They're both worth the effort, but you still have to work at it."
"You have to work at sex, too," I said.
It was his turn to give me a look.
"I mean, we all get better at it with each other, because we know what everyone enjoys and who has what skill set."
"I don't think I had to
work on much," he said.
I laughed again. "I can't really argue about the actual skills. It was the emotional issues that kept stopping us."
He nodded, no longer smiling.
"I don't think I've been with either of you enough to know what you enjoy," Damian said.
Nathaniel looked at him. "We'll fix that."
Damian started to be embarrassed, and then a calmness came over him. He seemed to steady, and held out his hand to Nathaniel. "Yes, we will."
"You just helped him be calmer about it all, didn't you?"
Nathaniel nodded and took the vampire's hand in his. "Just like he helped me get over my power trip just now."
"We're supposed to help each other," Damian said.
"We're supposed to be stronger together," Nathaniel said.
I looked at them, holding hands, and waited for Damian to protest, but he looked . . . content.
"Stronger together is the ideal," I said.
"We are that now," Nathaniel said.
"We are," Damian said, smiling at him.
"I guess we are," I said.
Nathaniel looked at me and his face had a new resolve that I'd never seen before. It reminded me of one of my expressions. One thing you did with a triumvirate was share bits of each other's talents, memories, and personality. It had never worked quite that way between the three of us before, but it had always worked that way with Jean-Claude, Richard, and me. Richard had inherited my temper, Jean-Claude my ruthlessness; I'd gotten Jean-Claude's blood hunger and Richard's craving for flesh. I really didn't want to go through all that again, but I wasn't sure that what I wanted was really going to matter.
"Go find someone to feed the ardeur, Anita. We'll keep shopping for towels. If we put an order in they should be here by the time we get back from Ireland," Nathaniel said.
I left them shopping for linens on the Internet, and I went to find someone to have sex with and feed the metaphysical hunger that could only be satisfied by some very up-close-and-personal interactions. The ardeur was the other thing I'd inherited from Jean-Claude. He was an incubus, not demonic, just a vampire who could feed off lust as well as blood. I was a succubus to his incubus now. No, I really didn't want to inherit any more metaphysical surprises from anyone again.
27
NOW THAT I wasn't drunk on metaphysics I went to find Jean-Claude. I wanted to tell him what had happened, and if I was having a last hurrah with anyone I was leaving at home, I wanted it to be him. He was in his bedroom talking to a man I didn't know. The man was in a regular brown business suit with a clipboard and a pen in his hands. At first glance Jean-Claude seemed to be in a white button-up business shirt and black slacks, except that the slacks fit well enough and tight enough to his body to fit seamlessly into knee-high black boots. He held his hand out to me with a smile. "Ma petite, I have organized a temporary bed until the custom mattress can be remade and shipped to us."
I took his hand in mine and let him draw me in against his body so that we could kiss. I went up on tiptoe, my free hand steadying me against his stomach, which gave me an excuse to pet down the line of buttons on his shirt. The buttons were covered in platinum and sapphires almost as dark as his eyes, so that the jewels looked bright blue one moment and black the next. The first time I'd seen the shirt I'd thought they were the buttons, but they were button covers, so he could change them out with ones he'd had made in ruby and gold. The button covers weren't the only change to the business suit look. The shirt's French cuffs were very wide and turned back thick and crisp, far more cuff than any fashion I was aware of, but they had to be wide enough to accommodate the cuff links with sapphires as big as his thumb set in glittering platinum and diamonds. Yes, he had a set of ruby-and-gold cuff links to match the other button covers.
He introduced me briefly to the man with the clipboard, who promised to bring in two king-size beds ASAP. They shook hands; he never offered me a hand to shake, but the days when that would bug me were past. Besides, my hands were busy around Jean-Claude's waist; my hands had to go somewhere during all the business hand shaking.
A guard at the door saw the man out, then closed the door behind them without being asked. The new guys were training up better and better. We had some who were great at the fighting-and-protecting part, but had been lost about the niceties of how to escort someone in and out of the house who was just there to fix the plumbing, or whatever. Being a good bodyguard for us was closer to being a bouncer in some ways; you had to know how to work the door, too.
I wrapped my arms around him a little tighter, smiled up into those deep blue eyes, and said, "I'd like 'Good-bye, I'm going to another country' sex, please."
He laughed, that surprised bleat of sound that I so rarely got from him, which was why I made the effort for it. He hugged me close, petting my hair as he held my cheek in against his chest.
"Ma petite, how could I turn down such a charming proposal?"
I moved my head enough so I could see his face again. His face was still alight with the edge of laughter, which made me smile even more. "I'm going to miss you."
His face sobered almost as slowly as a human's would have, but honestly, the older vampires have trouble holding on to surprised expressions. They tend to go back to whatever they've trained themselves is their neutral expression. I'd been puzzled by that until I met enough of the vampires who used to be in power over them all. Any emotion could be used against them, and likely would be. Cops had a neutral face that they hid behind. No one did that kind of hiding as well as older vampires, but then they'd had more practice than most human cops.
"I will miss you, too, ma petite." He bent down and had to loosen his arms so that I could rise up enough to meet the kiss. I tried to put more body language into the kiss, but he drew back before I could get us too distracted. "I have not fed yet today, ma petite."
"Me either," I said, and tried to go back to kissing him.
He raised his head out of reach and said, "I must take blood before I can make love to you."
"You taking blood can be part of the foreplay. We enjoy that."
He smiled, then shook his head. "Alas, ma petite, I believe you should conserve your precious blood for the three vampires who will be traveling with you. They cannot afford to feed on the Irish during such a case."
"That's almost exactly what Damian said."
"He has grown wise."
I sighed and suddenly wasn't feeling half as sexy. "Actually, yes and no."
He gave a small frown. "What does that mean in this instance, yes and no?"
I started to tell him what had happened, then realized I was wasting time. I opened the link between us a little wider; if I thought of the memories he could just remember with me. When we'd first started doing this kind of thing, I hadn't been good enough to give selected memories, but practice makes better. What would have taken minutes took only seconds.
"It seems our kitten has become a cat," he said.
"You mean Nathaniel?"
"Oui."
I nodded. "You could say that."
"Damian will help you control the new powers."
"Yeah, and Nathaniel will be more cautious with them from this point on, I think."
"I believe you are correct."
I studied his face. "You're not entirely sure, or you wouldn't have shut the marks down tight again. You don't want me to know what you're thinking."
"If you are asking if I am concerned that Nathaniel will let the new magic go to his head, of course I am, but we must trust each other, for we are built link by link into a chain that is stronger together than as a pile of individual links."
"You know what they say: The chain is only as strong as its weakest link."
"Do you believe that Nathaniel is our weak link?"
I thought about it for a second, then shook my head. "No. No, I don't."
He smiled. "Good. Do not doubt our cat now that he has grown claws, but rejoice in the extra power it will bring to us all."
"Just because something brings us more power, does that make it all right?"
"Not always, but power is often a balance between benefits gained and danger risked."
"I get that."
"Good, but you do need to feed the ardeur before you board the plane, ma petite."
"If I can't donate blood, can you catch some fast food?"
His smile brightened. "I have not had to catch my food for a very long time, ma petite."
I frowned, couldn't hold it, and smiled again. "You know what I mean."
"I do, but anyone who offers their life's blood to me deserves to be treated as far more than fast food."
"Agreed, but I don't want to lose the chance of making love with you before I leave."
"Nor do I, but the answer is simple: We include a blood donor who can be part of our foreplay, so that the feeding is still part of the sex."
"So someone to donate blood to you and feed the ardeur for me?"
"Oui."
"Who'd you have in mind?"
28
HE HAD NICKY in mind; that worked for me, so we sent one of the guards off to find him. I then realized that we had cell phones. He asked, "What are you doing, ma petite?"
"Texting Nicky."
"Non, ma petite, for something as delicate as this it should be in person."
"Nicky isn't that formal a guy," I said.
"He is in love with you, ma petite, but he is not with me. He is also a very recent volunteer for donating blood to me. I would rather be overly solicitous than give offense."
I frowned at him. "Either that all means you like Nicky more than I think you do, so you don't want to blow it, or you're afraid of offending him for a different reason."
He smiled. "You are in love with him, ma petite, and yet he has not demanded to be included in the larger commitment ceremony with all of us. I value very much that Nicky is not being difficult about that."
"You mean like most of the weretigers?" I asked.
"I do."
I sighed twice like I was trying to get enough air to swim a sprint. "The problem is that we can't all agree on a weretiger to include."
"Mephistopheles is proving most amiable."
"Yeah, Dev gets along with everyone better than anybody else."
"You do not sound convinced, ma petite."
I broke from the hug, because it was hard to think sometimes when I was too close to him. I started pacing the room a little as I tried to explain. "Mephistopheles--Dev--is great in a lot of ways. I know you value that he actually is bisexual, so he's your lover and mine."