“Now now…I know that. Let’s call it baby steps towards the right direction.” She pushed all of my hair to my left shoulder and kissed my right shoulder.
“So in essence, being with a man might feel uncomfortable for you the first couple of times. I would like to leave that for another day, from my experience being with a woman first is much easier. It’s better.”
I had never even thought about being with a woman. The room suddenly became sultry. I could feel the dampness in the palms of my hands. I even noticed it on the backs of my bent knees. What was going on? Was I about to do what I thought I was about to do or was Brooke the one about to do that?
Brooke handed Madam the robe. She placed it across her lap and slowly slid the zipper to my dress down my back.
“Bella Rosa, I don’t want you to think of this as taboo, or put a label on it. Straight, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, it’s all so caddy. We’re in an open-minded era, Bella Rosa. This career will let you embrace all of life’s pleasures, the pleasure of pleasing your clients, and most importantly…the pleasure of pleasing yourself.” I swear this woman could read my thoughts.
“Are you ready?”
I took a deep breath.
“Yes.” I replied with a heavy breath, accepting my destiny with open arms.
Chapter 7
I can’t believe how fast the months went by. When you’re younger all you want is for time to go by as fast as possible, you want to grow up, be an adult, and do all the things you weren’t allowed to do as a child. Well…I’m finally there. I’m an adult, about to embark on my four-year journey at a university. I had my pick of the liter when deciding which institution I wanted to attend. I ultimately decided to follow my father’s Alma Mater and go to NYU, home of the Bobcats.
My parents were the proudest that I had ever seen them, on my graduation day. I graduated Cum Laude with honors. I couldn’t help to smile as my mother bragged about my accomplishments at my party, later that evening. There were so many people, more than I had expected. I couldn’t wait to dig into the massive amount of cards placed in the box, full of money I was sure.
I glanced over to Olivia throughout the day, retrieving a smile every time she saw me look at her. I can’t really describe the smile. I guess it was a proud, yet sad smile. I hated the strain and distance that had settled between us. As my mother along with Julia’s and a few of my aunts started to clean up, I realized that I hadn’t seen Oli in quite some time, at least an hour.
“Hey Mom, is it okay if I take off for a while?” I asked. The party had pretty much broken up, so I knew I wasn’t being rude by disappearing. I had other things on my mind. I needed to set them straight. I didn’t want to go off to school leaving things the way they were. Of course, my mother dismissed me with a kiss smack on the lips and another comment about how proud of me she was.
Thirty minutes later, I approached our waterhole. Parking my truck and walking the path, I see Olivia before she sees me. She was sitting on a blanket aimlessly looking out at the water, her hair wildly blew in the wind, and the moonlight glow made her look translucent.
“It didn’t take long for you to find me.” She whispers.
“Yeah, for some reason I knew you would be here. God, I forgot how stunning this place was at night. When was the last time we were all here?”
“I’m here all the time.”
“I didn’t know that.” I should have known that. I’m saddened by that fact that we aren’t close anymore, that we haven’t been close in a long time.
I hadn’t realized that I moved until I was sitting next to her. She didn’t acknowledge me at first, and then I felt her head lean onto my shoulder, my arm instantaneously went around her tiny frame. We sat like that for I don’t know how long, just enjoying the piece, quiet, and the tranquility of each other. I was too afraid to speak. I knew I had no words to express how much I was going to miss her. There is so much that I wanted to say and so much I needed for her to hear. I was too much of a coward to say any of it, and too concerned with my devotion to Julia. Nothing would be said, and I would take that regret with me to New York.
“Oli…I-” I tried to speak. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, I had to say something. I had to get her to understand how much I loved her. In the same sense, she had to know that we weren’t going to be together. We just couldn’t. I was hurting both my girls, and I hated it.
“Shhhh Sebby, there’s nothing you can say that I don’t already know,” She quietly stopped me, placing her finger over my lips.
I attentively watched as she came to her knees and slowly lifted her dress to her thighs, moving it higher and higher until she was left in her bra and panties. I knew where this was going. I also knew that I wasn’t strong enough to say no. I didn’t want to say no. I wanted her. Never letting my eyes leave hers, I placed my fingers around the elastic on her panties and pulled her to me.
I could sense her nervousness and knew at that moment without asking that she still had not lost her virginity. I took a deep breath, wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her stomach. She ran her fingers through my hair in a comforting manner. I don’t know what the hell I was feeling. I loved her so much and she felt so good in my arms.
Most guys like accepting that trophy, not me. I never wanted to be responsible for taking that from any girl, however I couldn’t help the satisfying emotion of being her first. I vaguely felt her shake. I smiled and kissed her bellybutton, feeling the suction of a deep breath. I could tell that it was one of those breaths that you take when you’re so emotionally charged that you can’t help it. Her nervous breaths provoked me to kiss her lower. I didn’t; I wanted to take it slow, for her.
I looked up to her closed eyes. The tip of her tongue peered out between her lips; it was the sexiest, most innocent, look I had ever seen. I took it as an invitation and moved up her body. I softly bit down on her tongue, causing her eyes to open. I gradually took her tongue and started lightly sucking on it as our eyes stayed in a trance, locked on each other’s. There was so much emotion in her eyes, they told me everything. She wanted me, as much as I wanted her.
“Sebby…” She panted, between kisses.
“Hmmm…”
“I want to touch you.”
I urgently pulled the sides of her face, kissing her more aggressively than before. I knew that I needed to slow down for her, damn, I couldn’t help it. I wanted her so much. All the built up of years of anticipation, longing, and desire that I had kept safely bottled up was surfacing. It was more than I could have ever imagined
Her delicate fingers moved down my shirt, releasing each button in a slow torturous motion. She opened my shirt and slid it from my shoulders. I slid it down my arms, removing it completely. I watched her eyes when she broke our kiss, moving her eyes down my bare chest. I sucked in the breath next. Her hands traced my pecs and moved down to the contours of my abs. Allie had touched me there, several times, this was different, this was so expressive, emotional, and loving; this was Olivia.
“I feel like I’m seeing you, for the first time.” She whispered, hot words to the corner of my mouth.
“I can’t say the same, Oli, I’ve been looking at you since I was twelve.” Her giggles were contagious and I found myself laughing too.
“I’m nervous…I don’t want to be. I want this to be good for you. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing,” she admitted “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.”
What a loaded question. Don’t be a selfish guy Sebastian, don’t be a selfish guy Sebastian, I repeated to myself over and over.
I pulled her back into one last kiss before I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to see her naked. It wasn’t a want, it was a need.
“God Oli, I really want to take this nice and slow for you, I don’t know if I’m going to be patient enough. I’m dying to get you naked and wet.” Even with the cast of the moonlight, I could tell that she was blushing.
“I’
m going to take off your bra and then your panties, okay?” She nodded, as I pressed my body to hers, forcing her to lie down
I unclasped her bra and removed it, letting it fall to the ground. I took a second to appreciate the beauty that is Olivia. Her breasts were round and perky, larger than they looked in a bikini. Her nipples were hard tan pebbles, requesting to be sucked. I softly took her nipple into my mouth, as a satisfied moan escaped from my throat. I was taking Olivia. I was making her mine. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. I wanted to live that now moment forever. She was mine. Olivia was mine.
“God Sebastian…that feels incredible, don’t stop.” I didn’t recognize her voice. All I could hear was desire, as I fondled her breasts and caressed her nipple with the palm of my hand in a back and forth motion. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. Her panting and moaning beneath me would be forever entrenched in my mind.
“Olivia…” I whispered. I knew this was going to hurt her. I wanted her to at least experience some pleasure before I took mine. I placed my hand on her pussy and she immediately pushed into my palm.
“Play with me, Sebastian.” I didn’t think it was possible, but my dick had just gone from hard to harder.
She felt even better than I had played out in my mind so many times. I stroked her more aggressively than I had planned to. I couldn’t help it. Fuck…I am human, and of the male species.
“Shit Baby, you’re so wet. Have you ever made yourself come?” I just had to know. “No…I’ve…oh God…tried…” She panted breathlessly. “Right there…couldn’t get there.” I removed my hand and she groaned in protest. “No, don’t stop…please don’t stop…”
I grabbed her panties and slid them off.
“Oh fuck Baby, you shave completely.” I closed my eyes trying to regain any ounce of willpower.
She giggled, “I’m a swimmer,” she explained, as her fingers skimmed across my face.
“Sebastian…are you alright?”
Trying to maintain my composure, I grabbed the back of her neck and brought my lips down to meet hers. I crushed her mouth urgent and forcefully. I couldn’t talk; if I did I was going to lose it. I just needed her embrace. My lips moved on their own accord. I no longer had control over my movements. I kissed her jawline, her neck, and deliberately made my way to where I wanted to be most; her pussy.
Her breathing escalated, as soon as she realized what I was about to do. She enticed me, bucking her hips forward. I took it as another open invitation, and plunged my tongue from her opening to the top of her clit. She instantaneously arched her back and breathed out my name. “Sebastian…” I will never forget the raspy way she said my name. It was full of emotion, mixed with pure lust. That was all it took for me to go wild. I ate her pussy like it was the last meal that I would ever eat. I ate like a starving man who had finally found food.
I used every technique I knew, to find out what she wanted the most. Olivia liked it rough. I learned this from her treacherous whimpers and moans. Her reactions encouraged me to suck on her clit vigorously. I took the opportunity to try to stretch her. I inserted one finger and could feel her body tighten. Shit. I was fucked. She was so tight. Her pussy gripped my finger, like a vise. I thought I was going to come before I ever got inside.
“Baby…you’re so tight. Tell me if I’m hurting you.”
I removed my finger, replacing it as far as I could with my tongue. She was close to losing control, and if I didn’t get my shit together I was going to lose it with her.
“Sebastian…I-I-I…” She repeated, over and over.
I sucked her clit and moved my head in a side-to-side motion. That was it. She was spent. She trembled, opened her legs more, and pulled my hair like she was trying to rip it out. I started to taste more of her juices, as her body continued to spasm and she called out, screaming my name.
“Shhhh…Baby…” I beckoned, as she rode out her orgasm and I licked her clean.
“Oh my God…oh my God…Sebastian…I feel like Jell-O.” She chuckled. I laughed. Only Olivia would say Jell-O at a time like this. I wiped some of her juices from my mouth as she took my hand to bring me to her.
We attentively stared into each other’s eyes. In this moment there was no need for words to know what we were each feeling. It was some sort of connection, a linking that had always been there, and as much as we tried to avoid it, we couldn’t. The laws of attraction had found their way to us. I had no idea how I was going to let her go.
Olivia leaned towards me. I parted my lips, expecting her to kiss me. She didn’t. She ran her tongue along the outside of my mouth, licking herself from my lips.
“Pretty Baby, you’re a little vixen.” I accused, feeling her smile on my lips.
“I was curious…you seemed to like it. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”
Before I could respond, her tongue glided around my lips as she plunged into my mouth. She reached for my belt and unbuttoned my slacks. I moved between her legs, and was overwhelmed at how unbelievable she felt beneath my body. I had never been so content in my life. I felt her fingers touch the head of my dick and uncontrollably moaned in her mouth.
“Baby…”I whispered in between kisses. “I need to grab a condom from my wallet.”
“You don’t need it. I’m on the pill.” She replied.
I stopped kissing her.
“What?”
She laughed. “No…not because of that Sebastian, because I have really bad cramps.”
“Do you not want to use one?” I asked.
“I trust you,” she assured me, as she kissed me again. I checked to make sure she was still wet. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her even more. “Is it going to hurt?” she asked, as if she was reading my mind.
“Baby, you’re the only virgin I’ve been with. I don’t know how much it’s going to hurt, I know it will probably be uncomfortable.”
I began to kiss her as I positioned my dick to her opening. I lightly pressed into her, stopping once my head was in. I could feel her uncomfortable movements, and knew it was only going to get worse. I inched in a little more. She stopped kissing me to hide her face in the crook of my neck. I knew had I been able to see her eyes they were tightly squeezed shut, waiting for the unknown.
“I know Baby…do you want me to stop?” I asked.
She shook her head and I moved in until I felt the barrier. “Just a little bit more, Pretty Baby. I’m almost there. This is going to be the worst of it,” I explained and pushed through it, feeling the pop. Olivia painfully groaned
“Are you okay?”
“Mmm hmm.” She replied.
I retracted slightly and moved back in, instantly noticing that she was a lot wetter. I slowly moved in and out until I was completely sunk. She moved her face to the side and I took the opportunity to kiss and suck on her neck.
“Does it feel better, Baby?”
“Mmm hmm,” I was starting to worry about not getting a response from her, other than the hums of her letting me know that she was okay. I needed her to be okay. I wanted this to be as memorable for her as it was for me.
“Tell me, if I’m hurting you, or if you want me to go slower or faster… just tell me something,” I begged.
“Just keep doing what you’re doing. It doesn’t hurt as bad.”
With that, I started moving. I couldn’t believe how fucking tight she felt. Her pussy gripped my cock like a glove. I’ve never had sex without a condom; I could sense the fact that I was about to explode. My tempo increased as I become rougher with her, I couldn’t help it. She felt too fucking amazing. Olivia’s expression was a mix of pain and pleasure. I surrounded her face with my arms and roughly thrust into her a few more times, before I was close.
“Oh…Baby, you feel so fucking good…I’m going to come,” I grunted. She moaned and that was my undoing. I ejected my load deep into her pussy.
Coming down from the most intense orgasm I have ever had, I felt like
I had just run a marathon. My heart was beating out of my chest. I could feel every beat. Our bodies stuck together, covered in sweat. I buried my face into her neck and hair, and kissed her rapidly beating pulse.
I exhaled a deep breath. “I’m so sorry if I hurt you, Baby.”
“I’m fine, Sebby…that was-I-I-have no words for what that was…I love you, Sebastian.” She softly spoke.
“I love you, Olivia.” I replied, with not only the words she was hoping for, but the words that I felt deep in my soul.
Walking away from her was the hardest thing I have ever faced. We both deserved more. I had to. I knew Julia’s feelings for me. I guess I had known for a long time. I couldn’t do that to her, and I wasn’t about to come between Olivia and Julia. No way. They loved each other too much for that.
I did what I had to do. I walked away. I walked away from Olivia; my Olivia. The Olivia that made me feel like no other girl would ever do again. Not even Jules. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Julia too. I did. I would take a bullet for her and kill any mother fucker that ever hurt her in a heartbeat. It just wasn’t the same kind of love. We had a connection, it wasn’t the intense, searing in emotion kind of connection, that Olivia and I shared. It was what it was and I couldn’t change it.
All we have ever shared were stolen moments.
*S*
Summer went by excruciatingly fast. I had spent most of my time with my girls. Olivia and I seemed to be getting back on track, at least it was that way with our friendship. As far as anything else, nothing had happened since that night at the waterhole.
We all knew that I would be leaving at the end of the summer and none of us discussed it. We just spent every waking moment together, it was the same, just different. I couldn’t explain it, we weren’t kids anymore. I was going to be nineteen and the girls seventeen. I had known Julia for seventeen years and Oli for seven. We had been through several ups and downs, especially in the last few years.