Chapter 15
I didn't expect to dream, but I did.
A flash, a brief stab of confusion. My eyes open to a strange room, one I haven't seen before. It is different than what I'd become used to: darkness, stone, iron bars, anguish. Pain has been my world for so long; I had forgotten an existence without it. And now, just like that, I am free. Because of her.
Except. . . there is still something wrong. Something inside me, a dark coiling intruder that I can barely feel, spreading through my veins. What happened to me, in the time I was gone? And where is he in all of this mess?
I opened my eyes, Kanin's suspicion ebbing away into reality. I lay at the edge of the enormous bed with my sword clutched to my chest, gazing at the ceiling. The room was very dark; the thick curtains across the balcony doors shut out all light, but by my internal clock, the sun had just gone down.
I swung my feet off the mattress and stood, still in my black coat and original clothes. I'd locked my door, even considered dragging the dresser in front of it, as I did not trust the vampires in this tower, or even the humans. Worse, I did not want Stick to come creeping back into my room. Just the thought of him sent curls of anger and loathing through my stomach. He was my enemy now, or he thought he was, anyway. I remembered the sullen contempt in his eyes, the resentment, as if I was offending him by being here, by still being alive. I still didn't fully understand it. Maybe we'd never been friends at all.
Still holding my sword by the sheath, I wandered into the bathroom. A mirror ran the length of the counter, and my reflection gazed back at me over the sink. I snorted. No wonder the city vamps looked down their noses at me-I was filthy and dirt streaked, dried blood still clinging to my collar and skin. I pulled the collar of my shirt aside, peering at the place Kanin had bitten me. Two raised white bumps, no larger than pinpricks, grazed my skin right above the collarbone. Mementos from Kanin that I'd probably have forever.
Kanin. I'd have to go down and check on him soon, but for now, at least, he seemed to be fine. Maybe I should make myself a bit more presentable, not that I cared what the city vamps thought of me, but there was no reason not to take advantage of Salazar's hospitality when I had the chance.
Experimentally, I twisted the faucet above the sink, only half expecting it to work. To my surprise, it did, shooting a stream of warm water into the basin. I started to splash my face and neck, wiping away the dried blood, then stopped.
Pushing aside the shower curtain, I reached down and spun the handle. A burst of hot water erupted from the showerhead, sending up tendrils of steam and fogging the mirror behind me, and I grinned with delight.
Stripping out of my clothes, I stepped beneath a gadget I'd only heard about in the Fringe and doubted its existence. Hot, clean water hit my cold skin, soaking my hair, the heat seeping into my bones, and I closed my eyes. Bliss. I stayed under the pounding stream for a long time, letting it sluice the dirt from my skin, letting the lather of real soap slide down my body. So this was what life was like in the Inner City, at least for vampires. And probably even their humans. A huge bed and electricity and hot water, and food whenever you wanted it. I could see how tempting it was. How some people would betray and kill for it. If I was a city vampire, this could be my life.
All I had to do was give up my humanity.
Frowning, I turned off the water and dried myself with the thick red towels that hung beside the shower. And though it was mildly repulsive, I dressed in my old clothes, having no clean ones and no time to wash them. Swirling the coat around my shoulders, I left the bathroom just as loud banging came from the door.
Warily, I buckled the katana to my back before heading toward it. If it was the Prince come to tell me about Kanin, I wanted to hear what he had to say. If it was Jackal, I would tolerate him long enough to explain what had happened the night before with our sire. And if it was Stick, come to taunt me again, I was going to slam the door in his face and hope I broke his nose in the process.
However, when I opened the door, it wasn't Stick or Jackal or the Prince facing me across the threshold.
It was Zeke.
"Hey," he said quietly, hesitantly, as if afraid I would slam the door in his face. He looked tired, as if he hadn't gotten any sleep, and his blond hair was tousled. "Can I come in?"
Wordlessly, I stepped back, letting him cross the threshold into my room before locking the door behind us. I noticed the large blade across his back, strapped over the combat vest, the gun at his hip, and blinked. "You found your weapons. "
"Yeah. " He took in the room with a practiced sweep then turned to me with a shrug. "Well, I didn't find them, exactly. Someone gave them to me early this evening, said Jackal ordered them returned to me. "
"Jackal?" I gaped in shock. "Are you sure it was him?"
One corner of his lip quirked. "Positive. In fact, this came with them. " He fished in his jeans pocket and handed me a note. I opened the crumpled paper, seeing the messy black slashes of Jackal's handwriting.
"Try not to lose these again, minion. "
I snorted. "He's such a bastard, even when he's being helpful. " Crumpling the note, I looked back at Zeke, expecting him to smile and agree with me.
His small grin had faded, and he was watching me with solemn blue eyes, his face tormented with unspoken words. My mind stirred uneasily. Was he angry at my rejection the night before? Maybe he had come to say goodbye, that he'd made a mistake coming here, and he was going back to Eden without me.
"Are you leaving?" I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice, the sudden desperation. "The Prince isn't keeping us here. Are you headed back to Eden tonight?"
His brow furrowed. "Of course not," he said in a quiet voice. "I wouldn't just leave like that. "
"Then why are you here?"
Zeke gave a short, frustrated huff. "I don't know. Talk with me a second?" Looking faintly embarrassed, he went to the balcony doors, slid them open and stepped out onto the ledge. I followed, leaving the door partially open behind us. The wind whipped at our hair and clothes, tiny flurries dancing on the breeze.
Resting his elbows on the ice-covered railing, Zeke peered out over the city, his face dark. I followed his example, seeing the lights of the Inner City wink up at me and, beyond them, the looming darkness of the Fringe.
"It looks different from up here," I ventured. I didn't know why I was telling him, but the words flowed out of my mouth and swept away with the flurries. "When I lived in the Fringe, I used to stare up at these towers and think, what are they doing up there, right now? What kind of twisted life do they live? And now, here I am, staring down at the city, and there's probably some kid, some Fringer down there, thinking the exact same thing. "
"Dreaming of a life in a vampire tower. " Zeke's voice was low but not accusing, though he still didn't look at me. "Did you ever think about it? What it could be like?"
"Sometimes," I admitted. "Not very often. " I remembered one frigid night, staring up at the vampire towers, hating the humans who were warm and fed and spoiled for betraying their own kind. But jealousy and hatred didn't keep you warm, and expending energy on wishing was useless. You might wish your mom was still alive, that she could still hold you and read to you every night, but it wouldn't bring her back. You could wish your friends wouldn't die in front of you, starving or bleeding or frozen, or that, just once, you didn't have to worry about finding food to keep yourself alive for one more day, but people still died, and you still went hungry many, many times.
Or you could wish that there was a way for a human and a vampire to be together without fear.
I swallowed and flicked a sideways glance at Zeke, still silent as he leaned against the railing, gazing into the darkness. Snowflakes perched in his pale hair and dusted his shoulders, making me want to brush them away. It was suddenly painful not to touch him, to feel his hands on mine, his lips, warm and strong. But, of course, with the desire came the savage ache of the H
unger. I remembered the sweetness of his blood, the hot strength flowing through me, the intoxicating power. I wanted him, badly, but I didn't know which was stronger. And I was afraid to find out.
I took a gulp of frosty air to clear my thoughts. My breath, I noted, did not billow out in front of me. "Why are you here, Zeke?" I asked, trying not to look at him again. "You came to tell me something. What is it?"
Zeke hesitated, idly brushing bits of ice off the railing, then took a deep breath himself. A small white cloud writhed into the wind as he exhaled. "Okay," he murmured, more to himself. "I can do this. " Another pause, where he seemed fascinated by the lights of the city below, then, without looking at me, he asked, "Remember. . . remember what I said about wanting to start over?"
His voice was soft, nearly carried away on the wind, on the breath that twisted into the air and disappeared. I nodded warily.
He swallowed, turned to face me. "I lied. I don't want us to start over. "
If he'd shoved a stake through my heart, I doubt it would've hurt more than what I felt right then. My throat closed up, but I kept my voice and expression neutral. "Oh?"
"No. " He moved closer, and now we were almost touching. "I want things to be like they were. . . before," he whispered. "Before Jeb died, before Eden. . . before all of this. Do you remember those days? What it was like. . . between the two of us?"
I'd never forgotten. I recalled everything, from our first meeting in the abandoned town, to the hardness in his eyes when he'd discovered I was a vampire, to our first kiss in absolute darkness. He was a preacher's son, and I was the monster he'd been taught to hate, to destroy, but very gradually, we'd come to see each other as something more. And by the time we'd reached Eden and I'd said goodbye for the last time, something had grown between us that terrified us both.
"I remember," I whispered. "I wish things were the same, too. "
Zeke reached out, and suddenly his warm hands were on my arms, drawing me close. "So stop running away from me," he whispered, sounding pained. "Please. I care for you, Allie. I. . . " He broke off, pausing, then continued in a soft, clear voice. "I want us to be together. I don't care what it takes. " One hand rose to gently brush my cheek. "Let me prove it to you. Give me another chance. "
"Zeke. . . " I closed my eyes against the softness of his touch, the sweet ache stifling the Hunger for just a moment. "You know what I am," I said, not able to look at him. "You know it could never. . . that a vampire and a human. . . "
"I'm not afraid. " His breath fluttered across my skin. I heard his heart, pounding in his chest, and the Hunger stirred restlessly, never still. "I know what I'm getting into," Zeke continued softly. "I have both eyes open this time. You're a vampire and I'm human, and I don't care anymore. Unless. . . you don't feel the same. "
He paused, waiting for me, but I couldn't answer, couldn't even look at him. Then, his forehead touched mine, and his thumbs were brushing my cheeks, palms gently cupping the back of my head. "Allie," he murmured, very softly, "if you don't feel anything, if this is all one-sided, tell me now and I won't ever bring it up again. But I'm betting one last time that I. . . mean something to you, and despite everything that's happened between us, we can make this work. I want to try. Allison. . . " He stroked my skin, his eyes boring into me. "I trust you. "
No. I put my hands between us, not pushing him off, but stopping him from coming any closer. His words burned into my heart. He trusted me, a vampire, a monster. It was maybe the most precious thing he could offer, and something that I would never deserve.
He waited. His heartbeat pulsed against my fingers, rapid. Anxious. I felt its thrum vibrating all the way to the silent place in my own chest. Zeke's heart, in the palm of my hand. He was offering it to a monster who could so easily crush it, both literally and figuratively. I should. I should crush it figuratively now, so there'd be no chance I would literally rip the heart from his chest in the future.
But the thought made me ill. I didn't want to hurt him. And this thing we shared, these feelings swirling inside whenever he was close, they belonged to my other half. The part that was still human, however small it was, the one struggling with the demon and the Hunger every second of every day. That side wanted this, needed this. Zeke was a brilliant light that cut through the evil and darkness and bloodlust, down to that tiny part struggling to stay alive. I'd been clinging to his memory, that small piece of hope, ever since I left Eden, and I couldn't let it go. I just prayed I wouldn't drag him into the darkness with me.
"You don't feel the same, do you?"
Zeke stepped back, the warmth leaving my hands, his heartbeat vanishing from under my fingers. I felt hollow without it, empty. His voice and expression were flat as he looked away. "Sorry. I shouldn't have expected. . . I'll leave you alone, now. "
"No! I mean-" I grabbed his arm before he could leave, and his gaze rose to mine, desolate and heartbroken. I spoke quickly to reassure him. "It's not that. Zeke, I. . . " I slumped against the railing, then finally came out with it. "I want this, too," I whispered. "I just can't trust myself. "
He blinked, and his eyes were gentle again, hopeful, as he eased closer. "You didn't kill me that time in Jackal's tower. You could have. I basically gave you the chance, and you didn't. "
"You don't know how close I was," I answered. His expression didn't change.
"I'm still here. "
"I've killed people. "
"Do you think my hands are clean?"
"Zeke. " I gave him a desperate look, needing him to understand. "I will always be a threat to the people I'm around. I'm not just saying that. Not a day goes by that I don't think about biting you. Yes, I try to control myself, but that doesn't mean I'm always successful. And the last thing I want. . . " I faltered, not wanting to tell him, knowing I had to. "The last thing I want is to come out of a blood frenzy and find that I've killed someone. Someone I know. Like Caleb. Or Teresa. Or you. "
"Allie. " Zeke's eyes were intense now; I could see my reflection in those glittering blue orbs as he took my hand. "I've watched you. From the time we met, to the day I discovered what you really were, to now. You have always been the same fierce, stubborn girl who refuses to give in to anything. I've seen you fight so hard not to hurt people, to keep your distance so you're not a danger to anyone. " He closed his eyes briefly. "And I'm ashamed that I thought the worst of you when you showed up with Jackal that night, but I know better now. You haven't changed. You're still beautiful and dangerous and incredible, and I'll keep telling you that for as long as it takes you to believe it. But right now, all I want to do is kiss you, except I'm terrified that if I try you might throw me off this balcony. "
My laugh had a little sob in it. I remembered the first time Zeke had tried to kiss me, he'd ended up on his back in the dirt, a katana pointed at his heart. "This is not going to work," I warned him, meeting his gaze. "A vampire and a human? This is crazy, Zeke. "
He gave me that heartrending smile.
"Well, like you said before. Maybe we're both a little. . . mmm. "
He got no further, because I had pushed myself off the railing, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.
His arms slid around my waist, holding me tight, pressing me against his body. His lips moved with mine, soft and warm and just as I remembered. I felt the Hunger rise up, always there, but I tamped it down. I could do this. I could be a vampire and still be with Zeke. He was willing to try, to offer his heart to a demon, and I would not betray that trust. No matter what it took or how hard I had to fight it, I would not become a monster.
The wind picked up, whipping at our hair and clothes, as Zeke pulled back to look at me. Snow eddies swirled around us, clinging to my cold skin, melting away on Zeke's. I blinked at him, meeting those intense sapphire eyes, cocking my head. "What?" I asked, a faint murmur between us, blown away by the wind. Zeke smiled.
"You," he replied just as softly, and held me tighter. "I never really t
hought I would be here like this. With you. In all the world, in all the places we could end up, we came here at the same time and ran into each other. Like it was meant to be. "
"Meant to be?" I couldn't help but scoff, though I scoffed very quietly. "Extremely lucky coincidence is more like it. I don't believe in fate. "
"I don't, either. " He smoothed a strand of hair from my face. "But someone was listening, I think. Someone wanted us to find each other. How else would you explain it?"
"I was under the impression that God hated vampires," I said, keeping my voice light and my hands locked around the small of his back. "Evil, soulless spawn of the devil, right?"
"You're not evil," Zeke said with absolute conviction. "I might have believed that once, but not now. " His hand framed my cheek, brushing my skin. "No one who fights so hard to do the right thing is evil. "
Unexpectedly, that simple, sincere statement was enough to unravel me. My throat closed up, and my eyes stung with hot tears. I ducked my head, not wanting him to see me cry, to be revolted by the red tracks oozing down my cheeks. Zeke cupped my chin and gently tilted my face up. I resisted a moment, then gazed at him defiantly, feeling the blood trickle from my eye, expecting him to recoil. But he smiled and lightly touched my face, wiping the tear away.
"Both eyes open," he whispered, and brought his lips down on mine.
I made a tiny sound in the back of my throat and relaxed into him, clutching the back of his shirt. I couldn't think. I could barely move. I just clung to him, reeling with a storm of emotion that buffeted me from the inside, making me want to hide and embrace it all at once. I didn't know how this would work, if it could work. I was just aware of one thing: I could not lose him. Zeke had seen the monster at its worst and was still here. He dared to get close to the demon, knowing it still Hungered for him, craved his blood and his life, and he wasn't afraid. For the rest of my existence, if I lived to see the end of this world, there would never be another Ezekiel Crosse. There would never be another soul as bright as his. And that both terrified me and made me savagely-and maybe selfishly-determined to keep him. Zeke was mine now. Forever.
A pounding came at the front door. We broke apart, Zeke reluctantly letting me go, his warm hand lingering on my skin. My senses buzzed, Hunger and passion like twin hurricanes, fighting each other, but I walked calmly back into the room with Zeke trailing behind me and opened the door.
"Morning, sunshine," Jackal drawled. His gold eyes peered past my shoulder at Zeke, and an eyebrow arched sardonically. "Am I interrupting anything?"
"Always," I muttered, watching him smirk. "What do you want, Jackal?"
"Salazar has called for us," the other vampire said with mock grandeur. "He's waiting for us down in the hospital wing with Kanin. Looks like we've worn out our welcome. "
We rode the elevator down together, me in the center, Jackal and Zeke flanking me on either side. There was no vampire Elite to escort us this time; there weren't even any human guards at the doors or in the halls. I did see the female vamp Jackal had been talking to the night before, and she gave him a sultry smile as we passed, her eyes gleaming. Jackal winked at her as we turned the corner.
In the creaking metal box, Zeke stood close beside me while Jackal leaned against the wall, looking bored. I still clenched my teeth every time the lift shook or trembled, and perhaps Zeke picked up on my discomfort, for halfway through the ride, his fingers curled around mine. My body uncoiled, if just slightly, and I squeezed his hand. I thought I heard Jackal snort, but I didn't look at him.
Zeke. I was still getting used to this new, crazy idea: a human and a vampire. Maybe I was being naive. Maybe I was being deliberately blind. Most likely I was being incredibly stupid and endangering his life. What would Kanin say if-when-he found out? Would he scold? Would he shake his head and give me that familiar look of exasperation? Or would he be angry, disgusted, that I was ignoring one of his most primary rules: don't get attached to human beings.
The elevator shuddered, rather violently this time, and gave a rusty screech that made my skin crawl. I closed my eyes, squeezing Zeke's hand in a death grip, before I realized I might be hurting him. Guiltily, I tried pulling back, but he only laced our fingers together and tightened his grip.
You know what? Screw it, I told myself. I'm not Kanin's protege anymore. I've been on my own for a long time. I'm the one who trekked halfway across the country to find him. He has no say in what I do with my life or who I decide to spend it with.
The elevator dinged, and Zeke released my hand as the doors opened. Salazar and several Elites waited for us at the end of the hallway, their cold faces giving nothing away.
"He is awake," the Prince informed me as we walked through the room of moaning, writhing humans, keeping well back from the wall of beds. I saw Zeke's eyes linger on the human "patients," saw his hands clench as he realized what was really happening, but he didn't say anything. Jackal, giving the humans a cursory glance, just wrinkled his nose.
"He is waiting for you," Salazar finished as we came to a room much like the one from last night that held the rotting, dying vampire. Except this one was guarded by a pair of armed vampire Elite. The Prince continued, "You will go to Kanin and inform him of what needs to be done. Afterward, you will all leave my tower, and you will not return unless you have found Sarren or a cure for this madness. Is this clear?"
I nodded, staring at the closed door, feeling my sire's unmistakable presence on the other side. Now that I was moments from seeing him, I was nervous. So much had happened. What would he say to me? What would I say to him? Neither of us was the same as before.
"You go ahead," Jackal told me, giving a dismissive wave. "I have no burning desire to see the old bastard just yet. I'm sure he's much more inclined to talk to you, anyway. "
I gave him a sharp look. "For someone who's come all this way to find Kanin, you're certainly keeping your distance. " I frowned. "You didn't seem to care about him last night, either. It's almost like you're avoiding him. "
"What can I say?" Jackal leaned back against the wall. "I'm not the fair-haired son. "
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Go," said the Prince again. "I care not who retrieves Kanin and gets him out of this tower, I only want him gone. I want you all gone. "
"Prince Salazar. " Zeke spoke up quietly, startling us all. I blinked and stared at Zeke as the vampire Prince turned to the human, a bemused look crossing his face, no doubt wondering why the lowly mortal dared to speak to him. "Sir," Zeke went on, his voice calmly polite. "Before we go, I have to inform you that there are still uninfected people out in the Fringe. If. . . " He paused, taking a breath, as if what he was about to say next was difficult for him to get out. "If you are concerned about your blood supply, maybe you should consider bringing them to the Inner City. Or at least sending them food and supplies. I know where they are, and it seems to me that you need all the healthy humans you can find. Will you consider letting them into the city? They need to get out of the Fringe as soon as they can. "
The Prince raised an eyebrow. "I am not unreasonable," he stated, sounding suspiciously amused with this mortal who wasn't afraid to speak to a Prince. "If there are uninfected humans out there, I would ideally rather have them behind the Inner Wall. However, I will not risk my people's safety by sending them into the Fringe. So I am afraid there is nothing I am willing to do for them. I'd rather a few more humans die than bring that sickness into my city. " Zeke clenched his fists, and the Prince narrowed his eyes, not missing his anger. "Find Sarren and a cure," he told Zeke. "That is how you can help the rest of the population. I cannot offer more than that, human.
"Now," he continued, turning away from Zeke, dismissing him easily. I gave him an apologetic look, and he crossed his arms, looking grim. "Kanin's daughter," Salazar said, drawing my attention. "We are wasting time. Are you going to speak to your sire, or shall I send someone in there to drag him out?"
/> Biting my lip, I stepped forward, between the guards, and placed a hand on the cold metal of the doorknob. A pause, then I quickly turned the handle and stepped through, shutting the door behind me.
The small room was dark, the only light coming from the sliver that filtered beneath the door and the tiny window in its center. Everything else was shadowy gray to my vampire sight, washed out and colorless. For a second, I wondered if I should maybe flip the switch beside the door frame. I knew the room had power, same as the rest of the floor. But that seemed rude and intrusive and even cruel, to force my sire into the light. For as long as I'd known him, Kanin had preferred the darkness.
I could see him now, sitting in a chair in the far corner, fingers laced together beneath his chin. Already, he looked better. His skin was still pale, but not the chalky, wasted flesh of the previous night. He was dressed in black, his usual color, and, except for his face and powerful arms, he was a featureless shadow sitting against the wall. He didn't look at me at first, staring intently at the floor, deep in thought. But as the door clicked shut, plunging the room into darkness, he raised piercing black eyes and met my gaze across the room.
"Allison. "
The soft, deep voice shivered into me. His tone wasn't welcoming or angry or relieved or anything. It was just my name, giving away nothing, no hint to his thoughts or feelings. And, quite suddenly, I didn't know what to say. I hadn't really imagined getting this far, this point where I finally stood before my sire, face-to-face, and I was a completely different person than the one he saw last.
I opted for the safe, noncommittal response. "Hey. "
Nothing. No eye twitch, no movement, nothing to show he had heard. I swallowed and stayed where I was. "I'm. . . uh. . . glad you're okay. "
Kanin bowed his head. "Yes," he murmured, and his voice now sounded faintly uncomfortable. "Although. . . "
He lowered his hands and rose, startling me with the sudden, smooth motion. I didn't move as he crossed the room, coming to stand before me. He was still immensely powerful, his presence overwhelming. I had to tilt my head up to meet his gaze, which was dark and searching, flickers of pain showing through his calm mask as he stared at me.
Slowly, his hand rose, brushing the hair off my shoulder, his movements deliberate yet gentle. I shivered as his fingers took my collar and eased it aside, away from my neck, revealing the scar he'd left behind.
His eyes closed, and now the pain and guilt on his face was unmistakable.
"It wasn't you," I told him softly, my voice nearly lost between us. "I don't blame you, Kanin. You weren't yourself. "
"No," he agreed, his voice choked. "But it does not excuse what I did. You haven't been a vampire long enough to understand. To think that I. . . " He released me and turned away, hunching his broad shoulders. I again remembered his words to me in the hospital, explaining vampire history and customs. Vampires do not feed from each other. It's one of the most violent, intrusive acts we can commit on another kindred, and is viewed as barbaric and needlessly cruel by most.
"And yet, you're still here. " His voice was a little stronger now, and he straightened, though he still didn't look at me. "You found your way. I hardly dared to hope. "
"Of course I did. " I frowned at him, stung. "Kanin, I wouldn't leave you like that. Not with Psycho Vamp. Not after everything you did for me. What, did you think I could just ignore the dreams, knowing what Sarren was doing? You think I'd just abandon you?"
"You would not be the first," Kanin said, and finally turned. His eyes, so dark, hooded and full of shadows, met mine and did not shy away. "I don't find myself in this position very often," he admitted with a hint of his old confidence. "But. . . thank you. Out of all my offspring, you are the only one with which I have no regrets. "
I couldn't handle that piercing gaze, the way he was staring at me. Embarrassed, needing to break the tension, I half smiled. "Don't go soft on me," I told him, and Kanin's eyebrows rose, making me smile wider. "We're not out of here yet," I said, watching his face. "We still need you to help us find Sarren. "
"Sarren. " He narrowed his eyes, probably remembering those long, awful nights where Sarren had tortured him ruthlessly. His voice was dangerously calm as he ordered, "Tell me everything that's happened. "
So, I did, beginning with those first dreams, following his trail to Old D. C. , finding Jackal instead, discovering the other lab and finally tracking him to New Covington, where Sarren had revealed his treachery in a spectacular bloodbath and fled. "We don't even know if he's still in the city," I finished, making a helpless gesture. "But we're supposed to find him and either beat a cure from him or bring him back for the Prince to deal with. "
"He hasn't left yet," Kanin said. I blinked, and the vampire shook his head, frowning. "Whatever he's planned, he'll want to stay to see how it ends. That's how his mind works. He won't leave without knowing the final results, not when he's gone through all the trouble of setting this up. " Kanin looked at the door. "He's in the city, somewhere. "
"Excellent," said a new voice as the door creaked and Prince Salazar came into the room. "That will make it easier for you, won't it? As it is, you do not have a lot of time. "
I spun around, placing myself between Kanin and the Prince, and very deliberately on Kanin's side of the room. I imagined the temperature dropped several degrees as the two Master vampires stared at each other, fury and hatred smoothly hidden beneath their icy facades.
"You should be quite proud of your protege, Kanin. " Salazar's voice was a thin veneer of calm over his utter loathing. "No one else would have done what she has, the effort she put forth to save you, when all others would have let you rot down here. I would have let you rot down here. " His lip twitched, his eyes cold and cruel. "Of course, that might still be an option. "
"What have you done to me?" Kanin's voice was calm, but something in Salazar's triumphant gaze made my stomach clench in fear. "You wouldn't just let me go, not without a safeguard. What's to stop me from leaving New Covington and never coming back?"
He wouldn't, and I knew he wouldn't. Kanin wasn't like that. The question pandered to Salazar's way of thinking, and by the slow, evil smile spreading across the Prince's face, I suddenly knew, and my blood turned to ice. Kanin had felt sick when he'd woken this evening. I should've known not to trust the Prince, who hated Kanin and wanted to see him suffer, even if he was free.
A dark, coiling thing inside me, spreading through my veins.
"You bastard," I whispered, glaring at Salazar, and the Prince arched an eyebrow at me. "You gave him infected blood last night!"
Salazar regarded me without remorse. "Are you surprised, Kanin's daughter?" he asked mildly. "I promised I would set him free, but I needed something to insure you would all go after Sarren and not vanish into the night. " He smiled again, showing fangs. "This will give you that motivation. "
I thought of the dying vampire, the flesh peeling from its bones, turning black and rancid while its eyes pleaded for me to end its life. Enraged and suddenly terrified, I bared my fangs at the Prince of the city and snarled, "Damn you, Salazar! There was no need! You knew we would go after Sarren, regardless!"
"Allison. " Kanin's cool voice stopped me from doing something monumentally stupid, something that probably would have gotten my head torn off. I almost didn't care. Salazar knew Kanin wouldn't try to leave the city. He knew that we were invested in stopping Sarren and finding a cure. Hell, how could we not be, with a plague that threatened both species? This was just cruel, evil spite. I had come so far to rescue him; I had watched Kanin drag himself out of madness, endured the awful dreams and visions of torture, and now. . . now he would probably. . .
"How long do I have?" Kanin asked, his voice still unnaturally calm. The Prince, watching me with cold, dangerous eyes, turned his attention back to the other vampire.
"About seventy-two hours," he replied casually, "from the time the first symptoms appear. Give or take
a few. After that, the virus reaches the brain and begins to shut it down. Of course, by that time, your body might be too damaged to continue sustaining itself. "
Three days. Three days to find Sarren, discover a cure- if one even existed-and make it back to the Prince, before the virus ravaging Kanin's body destroyed him. "That's not enough time!" I protested, and the Prince turned a pitiless glare on me.
"It will have to be enough time. You do not have another choice. "
No, we didn't. Numbly, I listened as Kanin and Salazar discussed the situation in the Fringe, what we could expect when we left the tower, and our plans to get through the Inner City. Like it was a perfectly normal conversation. Like one of them wasn't dying from the treachery and betrayal of the other.
"Where do you intend to search first?" Salazar asked.
"The Fringe," Kanin replied immediately. The vampire Prince raised an eyebrow.
"You don't believe Sarren is in the Inner City anymore? You think he is hiding among the infected, unable to feed himself?"
Kanin smiled coldly. "It won't matter where he is now. He will come to us. Because I know where all his research is. I know where he went to unleash this madness. "
"Do you?" Salazar said mildly as I stared at Kanin, frowning. Did he? I sure didn't, and I had followed Sarren all the way from Old D. C. , from the ruined city and the tunnels and the hidden lab. . .
Oh. Oh, of course. Kanin did know where Sarren had created the virus. I did, too. It was so obvious-why hadn't I thought of that before? I'd been there. I'd spent my first weeks as a vampire there.
The laboratory beneath the old hospital, where Kanin had taught me how to be an immortal.
"Very well. Then you leave tonight. " Salazar gave me a brief glance as he opened the door. "When you are prepared, I'll have my guards escort you to the gates. " A faint smile crossed his face as the door began to swing shut. "I truly hope I see you again. "
And we were alone.
I seethed at the closed door for a moment, then turned to the vampire behind me. "Kanin, I had no idea. I didn't think Salazar would-"
He cut me off with a gesture. "It's fine, Allison. It's done. " For just a moment, his face grew dark, and I saw regret pass through his eyes before he shook it off. "We have work to do. Let's find Sarren and try to stop this insanity in the time I have left. "
Salazar wasn't in the hall when we emerged, which was a good thing, because I still burned with fury toward the vampire Prince and might've said or done something that would've gotten me in trouble if he was there. Zeke and Jackal were, however, one leaning casually against the wall, the other standing a few feet away with his arms crossed, wary blue eyes taking everything in. They both straightened when the door opened and I stepped into the hall, followed by Kanin.
"I'm sure you two know each other," I said, moving aside to watch Jackal and Kanin, wondering if I would see a hint of their past, a clue to what had happened between them.
"Yes," Kanin said in a toneless voice, staring at Jackal, his face unreadable. "We do. " Jackal stared back, a dangerous smirk on his face, and Kanin smiled faintly. "Hello, James. "
Jackal's eyes closed, and mine nearly bulged out of the sockets. "James?" I said in disbelief, an evil grin spreading over my face as I turned on him. "Your real name is James?"
Jackal sighed, giving Kanin a disgusted look. "Nice one, old man. Well played. You would have to bring that up, wouldn't you?"
"I believe I also said I would kill you if I ever saw you again. "
"Yeah, well. . . " Jackal shrugged and nodded to Zeke. "Get in line behind the little bloodsack over there. Although, really, you should be the one at the top of his list. It's kind of amusing, really. That he has no idea who you are, what you've done. "
Kanin's eyes flicked to the human, silently watching this exchange a few yards away. "Kanin," I said, stepping in before Jackal could do any more damage, "this is Zeke. He came to help us find you. He's coming with us to look for Sarren, as well. "
I thought he would ask questions, but Kanin just nodded acceptance. I was relieved, but it seemed Jackal wasn't done yet.
"Oh, and here's an interesting tidbit for you, Kanin," the raider king added, his voice low and his eyes gleaming dangerously. "Remember those scientists, the ones working on a cure sixty years ago? The ones you hunted for, handed over our kin to? What was the head guy's name again? Oh yeah, Malachi. Malachi Crosse. "
Zeke jerked, and Kanin tensed at the name. I turned to Jackal, fangs bared, ready to tell him to shut up, but it was too late.
"Say hello," the vampire continued, jerking his head at Zeke, "to his great-grandson. Ezekiel Crosse. "
Kanin went rigid. Slowly, he turned, staring at Zeke as if seeing him for the first time, then started toward him. Zeke stiffened but held his ground as the vampire approached, the dark eyes frighteningly intense.
"Kanin," I began, stepping forward.
My sire ignored me, his entire focus on the human in front of him. "Your father," he rasped in a low, husky voice, "is Jebbadiah Crosse?"
"Was," Zeke answered calmly. Briefly, his gaze flicked to Jackal, who was watching this little scene with a smile on his face. Anger rippled over Zeke's features, making his eyes flash, before they were composed once more. "He died. A few months ago. "
"I am sorry," Kanin said, and by his tone, he did not miss that brief look between Jackal and Zeke, and could guess what had happened. "But, the research," he continued, almost desperately, making me blink. I'd never seen him so anxious before. "The vampire experiments. Do you know about them? Do you have the data?"
Zeke shook his head. "Not anymore," he replied, and Kanin's shoulders slumped. In that moment, he looked like he'd lost everything, that the terrible burden he carried had finally broken him, and he didn't have the strength or the will to fight any longer. Zeke shot me a questioning look and I nodded, telling him to go on. "I don't have it," Zeke continued softly. "But, it's safe. It's in Eden now. "
"Eden. " Kanin's voice was a whisper, and he raised his head. "Then it's real. It exists. "
"Don't ask me to tell you where it is," Zeke said firmly. "I won't do that. "
"I would not ask. " Kanin backed away, almost in a fog. "You have no reason to trust me," he continued, speaking to Zeke though his eyes were distant now, far away. "But, to know that it is safe. That there is still hope. . . "
He trailed off, but the look on his face made my stomach tighten in sympathy. I was about to say something, but footsteps down the hall announced the approach of Dr. Emerson and a squad of four vampire Elite. The doctor looked bored as he came up, a knapsack in one hand, a small cooler in the other.
"The Prince has decreed that you be resupplied before heading out into the Fringe," he said flatly, as if this was some unnecessary detail he had to take care of before going back to work. "Here. Supplies for pets. . . " He tossed the knapsack at Zeke, who caught it with a frown and held out the cooler. "Supplies for vampires. Though I'd suggest you use these soon. They will not keep very long. "
"Forget it," I growled, eyeing the cooler with suspicion. I remembered the blood bag I had choked down the night before, and my stomach curled. Had it been poisoned, as well? Would I be feeling sick right now if it had? Kanin had known something was wrong, but Kanin was a Master and had been a vampire far longer. Would my body start to rot away in a few hours, the virus consuming it from the inside? I bared my fangs at the thought. "We're not touching any blood you offer us, ever. Especially after. . . "
I trailed off as Kanin gave me a sharp look, warning me not to say anything. The glare was obvious: he didn't want anyone to know he was sick. Frustrated, I fell silent, but no one disagreed with me, though Jackal gave me a bemused look, as if he thought I was being irrational.
The doctor shrugged. "Suit yourself. You should know by now not to feed from any humans out in the Fringe. If their blood is infected, the virus they carry will destroy you. "
/> "We know that," I said icily. "Your Prince made it very clear. "
"Good. Then the guards will escort you out. "
And they did, riding the elevator up to the first floor with us, seven vampires and one human packed into one small metal box. I had an odd sense of surrealism as I thought about it-me, my sire, my blood brother and Zeke. Four very different people who, under normal circumstances, would never be together. Who would probably be enemies. But here we were.
There were two vehicles sitting in the street right outside the tower, boxy-looking things with large tires and headlights across the hood. A uniformed human nodded at us as we approached.
"The Prince has ordered that you be taken to the Sector Two gate," he told us, and nodded at Kanin and Jackal. Another soldier, standing beside the humming vehicles, opened the back door as the guard motioned them inside. "Two to a car, if you would. The girl and the human can take the second one. "
"Why can't we all go together?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. " The soldier's voice was polite but firm. "But we must escort you there like this. "
I could've argued, but Kanin and Jackal didn't seem to care, beyond Jackal giving Kanin a smug look, which Kanin ignored. I guessed if the Prince wanted us dead, he would've killed us by now. "Fine," I muttered, turning toward the second car. "Let's go, Zeke. "
One we were inside, however, I realized why we'd been separated. It wasn't on the Prince's command after all.
Stick and his ever-present bodyguards sat across from us, their crossbows already drawn and angled at my heart. I felt Zeke tense, but the doors closed behind us, the locks clicking into place. Stick smiled, crossing his legs, gesturing to the seats across from him. "Sit down, Allie. "
Warily, we sat. The vehicle rumbled and began to move.
The lights of the city cast moving shadows across Stick's face as he stared at me, fingers steepled under his chin. If he was trying to impress or intimidate me, I was so not having it. "What do you want, Stick?" I asked before he could say a word. His eyes narrowed, as if I'd stolen the first line from him, as if this was some kind of stupid game.
"My name," he said, glaring at me, "is Stephen. Mr. Stephen, first aide to Prince Salazar himself. Stick was my worthless Fringer name, the name everyone thought I deserved. The name you and Lucas started calling me, because that's all I was to you. Something that could be broken and easily thrown away. " His gaze slid to Zeke, who watched us in confusion, and his eyes glittered. "I used to be her best friend, you know. Did she tell you that? Back when we were both street rats, living in the Fringe? Did she ever mention us?"
"No," said Zeke calmly. He sat with his arms crossed, regarding Stick warily. He had to feel the obvious tension rising between us, but his voice remained neutral. "I never asked. "
"Maybe you should someday," Stick went on, ignoring my warning growl. "Maybe you should ask her about Lucas and how he died. Our old gang leader, you know. She cared for him, too, even though she tried to hide it. Poor Lucas. " Stick shook his head. "He thought he loved her, and got left to the rabids because of it. "
"Stick!" I bared my fangs, and the guards next to him raised their crossbows, stopping me. I seethed, furious and desperate to shut Stick up. My demon, of course, was urging me to silence him by ripping out his throat, and it had never been more tempting than it was at that moment.
But Zeke's cool, soothing voice broke through the rising anger, stilling it for now. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked quietly, and I heard the disapproval in his tone. "I thought you two were friends. "
"Friends. " Stick gave a bitter smile. "Maybe once. I thought she was my friend. But she was just pretending. They all were. She's good at that, you know. " Stick turned a wounded gaze on me, a flash of real hurt crossing his face. "She pretends to care about you, she pretends she wants you around, but it's all an act. Nothing she shows you is real, isn't that right, Allie?" He held my gaze, and to my shock, I saw the glimmer of tears before he blinked and they disappeared, almost too fast to be seen. "I wanted you to trust me, I wanted to show you that I could be more, but you never gave me the chance. You always thought I was worthless. Well, I'm not worthless now, am I?"
"I never thought of you like that," I whispered through clenched teeth. "And if I closed myself off, it was because I couldn't bear to see you die. I couldn't bear to see any of you die. "
Stick laughed then. It was an ugly sound. "For all the good it did. " He turned to Zeke again, one corner of his mouth twisted and sneering. "Fair warning," he said, glaring contemptuously at the other human. "Don't get too close. She doesn't trust anyone, and she'll never let you in. Besides, everyone who gets close to her tends to disappear. "
"Thanks for the warning," Zeke said. And, in full view of Stick, the guards and everyone, he very deliberately reached over and took my hand, lacing our fingers together. "But I think I'll be fine. "
I'd never really seen Stick livid before, but the look he turned on Zeke could've peeled paint from the wall. Pure hate, anger and. . . jealousy?. . . darkened Stick's expression, but Zeke stared back, unruffled, stroking my hand with his thumb and sending shivers up my arm. I sat rigid, watching Stick, seeing his face turn a dangerous red, his jaw clenching as he glared at the boy across from him.
Abruptly, Stick turned, snatched the gun from his guard's belt and raised it, point-blank, at Zeke.
"Don't move, Allie!" Stick cried as I jerked up, his glare wide and feverish. "If you move, all I have to do is pull the trigger, and his brains will be all over the back window. Keep going!" he yelled to the soldier up front, who cursed but continued to drive. "You see?" Stick went on, panting and grinning savagely. "You see how they listen? Everyone listens to me, except you! But now, you'll listen to me, because I have the power. I can kill him-" He stabbed a glare at Zeke, raising the gun. "I can kill him now, and the Prince won't care. He won't care about one human. So you'll start listening to me now, Allie, or I swear I'll shoot him!"
"All right!" I held up a hand, trying to calm him down. Zeke was tense, both arms raised, his gaze never leaving the gun. I was quick, but I didn't know if I could reach Stick before the gun went off. And at such a close range, Zeke would definitely die. "I'm listening, Stick," I told him. "What the hell do you want from me?"
Stick grinned, eyes bright. "I want you to tell him-" he jerked the gun at Zeke again, who stiffened "-what happened to Lucas that night. And Rat. Go on, Allie, tell him. Tell him what happened to everyone else. "
"They died," I answered, not really knowing where this was going. All I wanted was to get that gun out of his hands, but the muzzle was so close to Zeke's face I wasn't going to risk it.
"Why?" Stick demanded.
"They were killed by rabids. "
"Why?" Stick asked again, and I scowled. What did he want me to say? What the hell was he trying to prove? "Why were we there in the first place?" Stick asked, keeping his gaze on Zeke. "Why were we outside the Wall?"
I suddenly knew what he wanted. My shoulders slumped, not wanting to say it, to remember that night. But I had to. "We were outside the Wall," I answered in a flat voice, "because I led us there. "
"And why did Lucas die?"
Lucas. I glared at Stick, and he raised the gun a fraction, aiming for Zeke's face. His eyes were hard. I clenched my fists and muttered, "Because. . . I left him. "
"To die," Stick repeated.
Damn you, Stick. "Yes. "
Anger, sorrow and guilt burned. I tried not to think about that night, to remember the horror and terror when the rabids had surrounded me, when they'd yanked Rat into the tall grass, when they'd dragged Lucas over a fence. But the memories were still painfully clear, as if it had happened yesterday. I remembered the way Lucas had stared at me, his eyes begging me to save him, right before the rabids pulled him into the darkness. Stick didn't need to remind me. I already knew. It was my fault they had died, my fault we had all died.
I felt Zek
e trying to catch my gaze, and glanced at him quickly. His face was grim, his eyes staring at me, trying to tell me something. Be ready, they seemed to say. I spared a quick glance at the guards. They seemed uncomfortable, still keeping the crossbows trained on me but also shooting Stick looks of anger and disgust. Obviously, their boss's erratic behavior was making them uneasy, too.
Oblivious, Stick waggled the gun at Zeke, making me tense. "You see?" he asked the other boy. "She doesn't care. She lets others die to save herself. Isn't that right, Allie? Tell him. Tell him that you don't care, that you're just using him, just like Lucas. "
"I. . . " The words caught in my throat. Swallowing, I forced them out, making myself talk, to let Stick think I was playing his sick little game. "I don't care about you, Zeke. Stick's right. I'd leave you to the rabids if I had to, same as Lucas. " My eyes narrowed. "In fact, I'm about ready to let you die, just so I can get to Stick and rip his arms out of their sockets. "
Stick jerked, his attention flashing to me, and Zeke moved.
He ducked to the side, lunged forward, and grabbed the other boy's wrist with both hands. Stick let out a yelp, fighting him, the gun flashing in a deadly arc between them. The guards gave shouts of their own, turning to the boys, and I hit one of them hard, slamming my fist into his nose, snapping his head back. The second was on the other side of Zeke and Stick, still grappling for the gun. He grabbed for the weapon, but a shot rang out, and the guard fell back, the side of his face covered in blood, his crossbow dropping to the floor.
All of this happened in the space of a heartbeat. As the gunshot boomed behind him, the driver swerved, lost control of the vehicle and smashed into the hulk of another car sitting on the sidewalk. The force jerked us all sideways, one of the guard's bodies slamming into me as we hit the wall, his skull cracking against mine. As the car rocked to a halt, I pushed the body off to see Stick, dazed and still holding the gun, wrench open the door and stagger into the road. Zeke was right behind him, though, shoving away the second body and lunging out of the car.
I followed, reaching back to draw my sword, but it was clear Zeke didn't need any help. As Stick stumbled away, raising the gun, Zeke leaped forward and smashed his fist across Stick's jaw. Stick's head snapped sideways, his body jerking as if an invisible string had been cut, and he sprawled limply on the pavement.
Panting, Zeke bent down and took the gun from Stick's numb fingers. Releasing the clip with practiced ease, he stuffed it into a vest pocket, racking the slide to get the last round of the chamber. That also got tucked neatly away before he tossed the gun aside with a revolted look. As I came up, he held out an arm to me, and I stepped into him without hesitation, feeling his heart race through his vest as he hugged me close.
"You okay?" he murmured as we drew back. I nodded, then looked down at Stick's limp body, lying on the cement, the snow falling around him. Rage flared, and I had to fight the overwhelming urge to pounce on him, drive my fist through his rib cage and tear the heart from his chest. Maybe Zeke knew what I was thinking, for his grip on my arms tightened.
"I'm fine, Allie," he whispered. "It's over. "
The first car with Kanin and Jackal had pulled around and was now speeding back toward us, the headlights blinding through the snow. I raised an arm, shielding my face as it skidded to a halt and the guards leaped out, pointing guns and crossbows in our direction.
"What's going on here?"
Kanin and Jackal stepped out, too, regarding the body in the snow with looks of detached curiosity and amusement. No one, I noticed, went forward to see if Stick was all right, if he was even still alive. As the guard shouted at me again, demanding to know what had happened, Stick groaned and stirred weakly. I smelled the blood that streamed from his cut lip, spotting the snow, and felt a vindictive stab of pleasure. I hoped it hurt. I hoped he'd have a swollen jaw for weeks. He'd gotten off easy this time.
"Ask him," I told the guard as the body in the snow struggled to rise. "He's the one who tried to kill us. "
All eyes went to Stick, who clawed himself upright and stood there panting, glaring at me and Zeke. His face twisted into a mask of rage and hate.
"Kill him!" he spat, stabbing a finger in Zeke's direction. I snarled and tensed, baring fangs, as Zeke put a warning hand on my arm. No one moved. "Well? What are you waiting for?" Stick snapped, staring at the guard captain. "Shoot him, now!"
The guard shifted uncomfortably. "Sir, that's not really an option. "
"What?" Stick narrowed his eyes. "What did you say, Captain?"
"The Prince ordered us to escort them to the gate, sir. " The captain's voice was stiff, flat. "All of them. We cannot countermand his orders, even for you. "
"He's just a human!" Stick burst out. His eyes were bright and glassy, and a vein pulsed in his temple. "Not a vampire. The Prince won't care about one human. Do as I say!"
"I would think very carefully about that," came a low, deep voice. Kanin's, from the edge of the circle. He stood in front of the car, while Jackal leaned casually against the hood, watching in amusement. Though both vampires were stationary, they stared at the humans with unmistakable menace, and Jackal's eyes glowed in the shadows. "I would think very carefully on where you are standing, right now," Kanin went on. "Alone, far from the Prince's tower, surrounded by three vampires. If violence erupts, what do you think is going to happen here?"
The guards were pale now, as if they'd just realized their position and the danger from all sides. "Sir," the captain said, turning back to Stick, his voice low and deliberately calm. "We need to go, now. Let's get you back to the tower and inform the Prince of what has happened. " He motioned at Stick with his gun, his voice polite but brooking no argument. "Go, sir. Now. "
"And where do you think you're going, exactly?" Jackal crooned, sliding off the hood of the car. An edge had crept into his voice, and his eyes glittered. "Running back to the Prince, are we? I don't think so, bloodbags. "
Stick's eyes widened, fear finally piercing the madness as he realized his guards were dead and the ones remaining could not protect him. Not from three angry vampires, far from the safety of the Prince's tower.
I glanced at Kanin, expecting him to step in, but he said nothing, his face expressionless as he stood there, unmoving. The guards raised their weapons and shuffled hastily away, keeping Stick behind them. But between me and the other two vampires, there was nowhere for them to run.
Jackal's gold eyes slid to mine, and he grinned, vicious and eager. "Come on then, sister. Let's do this, you and me. I'll even leave you the little parasite. You can rip his heart out and eat it in front of him if you like. "
I growled and turned on the humans, curling my lip back. It was tempting. I could kill Stick. Right here. No one would miss him. The Prince wouldn't care, so long as we found Sarren and a cure. Stick, for all his delusions of grandeur, was still just one human in a world dominated by vampires. A pet. And pets could be replaced.
"Allie, no!" Stick's voice came from behind the guards. "Don't let him hurt me," he pleaded. "We were friends, once. That means something, right? You're better than this. "
I snarled at him, and the demon roared up full force, releasing all the anger, hurt, rage and grief that I'd kept locked away for so long. "You have no right to bring that up!" I shouted, and he shrank back, looking like the Stick I'd known. I took a step forward, baring my fangs, hating him now. "Don't you dare, not after what you've done! I can live with your hate, your anger, your crazy vendetta to prove that you're better than me now. I could even live with the fact that you sold me out to the Prince in exchange for an easy life. That's fine. You always had it in you, I knew that. I always knew. . . " Unexpectedly, my throat closed up, and I swallowed hard to open it.
"But don't try to appeal to my humanity now," I rasped, my voice low and cold, unfamiliar, "not when you forced me to admit that I'm a monster. Not when you tried to take away the only good thing I'll ever know. If he had died, I wou
ld've shown you a real monster. "
"Yes," Jackal encouraged, grinning as he stalked forward. "That's right, sister. Let it go. This is what we are. And it's been ages since I've had a decent kill. Let's send the Prince a message, that this is what happens to pets who don't fear vampires like they should. "
My demon agreed. I was losing myself to the monster, and I didn't care. Reaching back, I pulled my sword, drawing it with a metallic screech. The guards angled their weapons at us, but they were insignificant, a fragile wall of meat and blood. They would fall, and then there would be nothing between myself and my enemy. "You want to see what I am now?" I told Stick, who looked about ready to faint. "What saving your life turned me into? Fine! I'll show you what I really am!"
Gripping my sword, I tensed to lunge.
"Allison, no!"
Something grabbed my arm from behind, jerking me to a halt. Snarling, fangs bared, I whirled on Zeke, barely stopping myself from springing forward and plunging my teeth into his neck. Zeke met my gaze, unflinching, even though I could see myself in his eyes, furious and demonic, lips curled back to show the full length of my fangs.
"Don't do it," he whispered, keeping a tight grip on my arm, though he had to know I could shove him off with little effort. "Allie, it's not worth it. "
I hissed at him, not really myself. The monster was raging inside, and the Hunger was a bright flame in my stomach. "Why not?" I demanded.
He raised a hand, sliding his fingers into my hair, his gaze imploring. The contact shocked me, how close he was willing to get to a raging, snarling vampire. "Because, I know you," he said gently. "Because, when it's over, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. " His fingers found the side of my neck, the palm brushing my skin. "That's forever, Allison. "
I closed my eyes. The demon still howled within, wanting blood, eager for violence. But. . . Zeke was standing there, begging me not to do it, not to give in to the monster. I could feel his eyes on me, pleading for the life of the one who'd tried to kill him.
My anger wavered and I slumped, retracting my fangs. "Get out of here, Stick," I spat without turning around. "I don't want to see you again. I don't want to talk to you again. Go back to your Prince and forget I ever existed. "
Jackal gave a disgusted snort. "You're kidding," he muttered, and sighed. "Well, bloodbags, you heard her. Guess it's your lucky night. Better hurry-I'm not as squeamish as my dear sister. You have five seconds to be gone, or the first human I see when I'm done counting won't make it to the end of the street. "
I heard the humans walk swiftly away, as fast as they could without fleeing outright. The vampire in me still roared a protest, urging me to run them down and tear them open. To spill their hot blood into the snow, to watch the light dim from their eyes. From his eyes. I kept a tight hold on it, concentrating on the sound of Zeke's heart, his touch, until the footsteps faded into silence and the scent of fear blew away into the night.
Zeke stepped closer, his forehead resting against mine. "You did the right thing," he whispered, and I nodded, still trying to clamp down on my raging emotions. "Are you okay?"
"Give me a second," I said stiffly, and he didn't move, his hands resting lightly on my skin, as my muscles slowly uncoiled and the Hunger settled reluctantly, like a sullen, angry beast.
When I was fully in control, I pulled away, and Zeke released me. Jackal was shaking his head at us, pity and disgust written clearly on his sharp features, but it was Kanin's presence I sought. He stood beside the vehicle, his dark figure hazy through the glare of the headlights, his face impassive. Hollow black eyes regarded me without expression as I walked up, frowning.
"Why didn't you stop us?" I asked, not angry with him, just surprised. "I almost killed those men. If Zeke wasn't here, Jackal and I would've torn them apart. Why didn't you say anything?"
Kanin peered down at me, his impassive gaze softening just a touch. "I am no longer your teacher, Allison," he said quietly. "You have been one of us for a while now. You have hunted, and you have killed. It is not my responsibility to curb your demon. " He glanced past me to the place Stick and the men had stood moments before. "And I wanted to see what type of monster you had become. "
"Oh," I muttered as the last of the anger flickered and died and the sharp edge of regret sliced in to take its place. I suddenly felt like a new vampire again, back with my mentor, having just failed one of Kanin's tests. Defiance colored my voice. "Well, I hope you liked what you saw, because it's not going to change. "
Kanin's words were so soft I might've imagined them. "I hope not. "
"Great," Jackal said, sauntering up. He eyed the abandoned car, the smashed one a few yards away, and sighed. "Looks like we're walking to the Fringe. "