After his father had tried to kill him as a child after he’d seen Az’s strange magical abilities, things had improved for a while. Kendrick basically left him alone. Except sometimes he would catch his father staring at him when no one else watched. He’d hoped he was proving himself to be worthy of the Kane name, someone his father would want to have around. Stupidly enough, he’d looked forward to their trip away, to give him his first shift.
The whole thing had turned into a living nightmare for Az. Kendrick had set the whole thing up like a giant game. A game Az had lost. As an adult, he could reason that there was no way for him to have won. The odds were impossible for anyone. Even his brothers would have failed it. But then when he’d been so young, so desperate for approval it had sealed his belief that he was worthless to the pack, at least when it came to traits that shifters valued: strength, heroism, stoic acceptance, and the ability to get the job done.
In retrospect, for Kendrick it had been a rather simple plan. His father had told him that there was a woman missing, a human woman, presumed dead. His father knew she wasn’t dead. He knew where she was. Somewhere in the state of Maine she had fallen in a hole. She was bleeding to death. The thought still made Az shiver. Humans, his father had told him, they died so damn easily.
He’d held out a piece of cloth. Shift, he told him, smell the material and use your new senses to find her. She had two hours to live. Then he’d walked away. Az had started to shake. He’d never shifted. How did you do that? Wasn’t there supposed to be some ceremony, something to draw his wolf out?
For hours, even after he knew the woman was dead, he’d tried desperately to bring his wolf to life. His father had reappeared then. Az had fallen to the ground and sobbed. Please, he’d begged him, please save that woman. Don’t let her die because he was inept. Kendrick had laughed, telling him how easily each of his brothers had made the shift. Then he’d ordered Az’s wolf to come to the surface. It had hurt like nothing ever had since. Having done it enough now, he knew it was because Az’s wolf had been angry. Even his canine knew you weren’t supposed to come into the world like that. His father had suggested he immediately commit ritual suicide since he’d never be a decent shifter.
His wolf had kept him alive and for the first time in his young life he’d looked at his father and saw him for what he was: evil.
Even if it would be a very long time until anyone else would realize it, or at least until they would say it aloud that he wasn’t everything he should have been.
So there was no excuse for his having just assumed everything that was happening meant that they were somehow thwarting him. With the pack away, Kendrick could just walk into Westervelt, overcome the pregnant women they’d left behind, and take back the island that housed them for some long, the place that seemed to call magic all on its own.
He sucked in his breath. Was that what Kendrick wanted? The island…
His father stopped walking right in front of him. The man still hadn’t aged. How was it possible now that he wasn’t Alpha? And how had he lived through their mother’s death?
“Shift Azriel, I want to know you hear everything I say not filtered by the ears of your wolf. A beast that is too strong for the likes of you.”
His wolf growled and lunged. Az tried to hold the canine back but it was fruitless.
I will kill him if you will not.
He sighed. His wolf never understood. I would kill him if it were that easy. I can’t beat him in a physical fight, not as exhausted as I currently am. I won’t let him just pick me off. We can outthink him.
Shifting, he stared at his father with human eyes for the first time since they’d tried to take him down during Cullen’s kidnapping. The man looked so much like Tristan and yet he looked completely different too. Where Kendrick’s eyes were fathomless pits of fiendish hell, Tristan viewed the world with compassion. Even if he were blind he’d be able to tell just by the way the wind moved around them. Kendrick seemed to think he ran the motion of the earth and the wind seemed to always plow into him like it wanted to knock him down where he stood.
His father regarded him silently for a moment before he spoke. “When this first started and you all betrayed me and your pack, I just wanted it back. I thought I could take it by force.”
When they betrayed him? He opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. What was the point?
“Now I don’t want that anymore. I don’t need you. I have my own wolves. I just want you dead. Sooner or later you’ll all be dead. Today is your turn.”
Azriel raised an eyebrow at his father. He’d always thought that gaining an insight into his father would hit him like a truck slamming into a brick wall. It wasn’t anything like that. The clouds moved from his eyes and he could see things through clarity he’d never had before. What was different? Well, that was easy. Leah St. James lived in the world. As long as she existed he could do anything, even solve a riddle that was his father.
Why had his father tried to kill him when he was a child and done everything he could to try to destroy him later on?
The answer was simple. He’d done all those things so Azriel could never do what he was about to do.
Without another thought, he placed his hand on his father and with less effort than he expected he forced himself through Kendrick’s memories. The pack needed information. If he was going to be killed, the least he could do would be to collect information for Tristan before he went.
Without another person to guide, he could move quickly through the mess that was his father’s psyche. In no way did he want to see memories of them as children, old pack politics, or musings on their mother. No, his destination was simple. How many wolves did Kendrick have in his league, where were the witches and what did he have planned for them?
Concrete facts were the name of the game. After all, despite his use of magic for this task, in his heart, Az was a numbers guy and that was the best shifter he could be. His father had obviously thought him completely unable to handle his powers, as if he’d truly been beaten down based on his childhood.
He got the answer to his first question much faster than he expected. Kendrick’s mind seemed desperate to give away his information. Az would have laughed if there had been time. With Claudius dead, there was obviously no one left for his father to brag to. If nothing else, Az was getting to see just how brilliantly devious Kendrick found himself to be.
There were several hundred wolves, all of them being trained to be killers. He’d brought three-dozen with him today. They were ‘babies’, which meant in Kendrick’s mind they were only a few months made. This was a training mission.
Flashes of the sheer number of wolves Kendrick had at his disposal filled Az with a sense of dread. If things stayed as they were, there was no chance for their small pack to triumph against the numbers Kendrick could command.
He didn’t have time to dwell on how horrifying the thought was and forced himself forward, commanding Kendrick’s memories to show him what he wanted to know.
Where were the witches? He saw images of landscapes all over the world. Damn it. He’d really hoped there was one central location for the coven but it looked as if his father had managed to create an army of witches who didn’t need to be put together to command their spells. It wasn’t going to be such an easy thing to eliminate that power from Kendrick either.
He rubbed his head, which had started to pound. Would they ever get a break?
Kendrick wasn’t a weak man and Az could feel him straining to remove him from his mind. He pushed and pulled at Az’s consciousness, while at the same time digging his hands into Az’s grip on his arm as if removing their physical proximity would eliminate the connection.
Maybe if Az had spent more time practicing with this ability he would know if the touch actually mattered. There was no time to find out right now. What were his father’s plans for them? That was easy to find. Endless conversations, even Kendrick muttering aloud showed him definitively his father hadn’t
lied, he intended to kill them one at a time and painfully until he could take back the island uncontested.
So he’d been right, it had been all about the island. Now that was an answer he could use, why was Westervelt so special?
Az felt himself shoved out of his father’s memories. Damn, it looked as if he wasn’t going to answer that question today.
That’s good; I want to kill him now.
He had to agree; this time he liked his wolf’s bloodthirstiness.
As the light hit him, he looked around the street. They were still alone, only Kendrick’s furious, strained expression meeting him where he stood.
“I should have killed you at birth.”
Az nodded. “You probably should have. It’s kind of convenient, isn’t it?”
“What?” He could hear the growl in his father’s voice and knew he was moments from shifting.
“That I have this particular, what did you call it? Oh yes, aberration and I can see through your memories. It’s almost like when fate was dishing out powers it knew we were going to need something to beat you, like you’re being set up for failure.”
His father never responded as he shifted into his wolf form. Az made a quick note that the white light that accompanied their shifts was absent from his father and that he shifted more like a created wolf than a magical one. His limbs didn’t reshape as seamlessly.
It didn’t matter. This time Az needed to let his wolf take control or he would fail.
Just give yourself to me, Azriel. I can take care of you. I have never let you down.
It was true. Other than Leah, his wolf was the one creature on the planet who had never asked him to perform miracles that were impossible, who hadn’t judged him for being able to do magic when only women should have that gift, and who hadn’t tried at one time or another to kill him. Maybe it was time to let someone else run his life for a few minutes.
He ceded control. Actually, it was kind of a relief. His wolf lunged forward at Kendrick’s wolf. He didn’t have to think about it all. In no way was he more capable than his wolf at handling a fight. The two wolves tore at each other, each gaining and losing ground as they struggled. Blood flew in the air. Was it his? He couldn’t tell and he didn’t want to push his consciousness too far into his wolf’s to find out. When this was over, assuming he lived, he would know one way or another.
His father backed up a few steps. Was it possible? Was his father retreating from him?
Just then he caught a sound from behind him. It was footsteps, a lot of footsteps heading his way and it wasn’t his pack. Oh hell, Kendrick must have called for reinforcements.
His wolf looked left just in time to be pounced on by three of Kendrick’s now quite visible wolves. He hit the ground hard, his head spinning. It was a tribute to just how injured he must be that even with his wolf running the show he was aware of how dizzy he truly was.
Gods, this was probably the end.
He watched out of the corner of his eye as his father ran away. Growling, his wolf did his best to leap to his feet despite stumbling once. The created wolves tried to stop him but he only had eyes for Kendrick. No way could he just let the other man get away, not this time.
Az! We’re coming. Leah’s voice filled him with such peace.
I think it might be too late, she-wolf. I’m sorry to have failed you.
He heard her intake of breath in his head. No, don’t you dare give up. We’re almost there.
Is Tristan there with you?
He is. The whole pack is with me.
Tell him Kendrick is here. He gasped as his wolf’s mouth filled with blood. Quickly, because he knew there wasn’t much time, he told her what he’d learned from Kendrick’s memories and hoped she was relaying the message to Tristan.
There wasn’t much time. He dodged one of the other wolves and lunged at his father. Together they rolled down the street. He could barely see. Everything had gone blurry. His father had him in a stranglehold, the other wolf’s teeth digging into his throat, cutting off the airway.
Like an exploding comet, another wolf landed on top of them pushing Kendrick’s wolf off of Az’s. He’d know that sent anywhere. It was Gabriel and he was in a rage. Pieces of Kendrick’s fur flew everywhere. Distantly, he thought he heard his father yelp and whimper in pain. He wished he could see what was happening. Everything felt as if it was moving slowly like he was moving away from where the action was happening to somewhere else. Damn, he thought remotely, he’d failed again. Once more, even at the end of his life, his brother had to rescue him.
Don’t you dare think that.
It was Tristan’s voice in his head. How had he heard that thought? Was he broadcasting?
Every damn thing that you’re thinking, you’re wide open for all to hear.
Tristan appeared by his side still in his human form. Sounds of fighting were everywhere. His vision had tunneled, only Tristan was visible to him now. He took a deep breath, longing for Leah.
We made her stay back a ways. They’re on their way now. Ashlee is here and she’s going to heal you. Hold on a little bit.
Tristan knelt down next to him patting his between his ears. It was a gentle moment, not something Az had seen Tristan do lately. He’d almost forgot that out of all of them Tristan had always been considered the most sensitive, which used to make them laugh since it meant they were all pretty pathetic in terms of emotional stability.
You think you’re dying and your last thoughts are to criticize me. Nice.
Az coughed as he forced the change on himself one more time. He didn’t want to die in his wolf form. It would be too odd for his family to have to carry his wolf body through town. His last action could be one of consideration. Maybe it would win him points on the other side.
“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not dying today?”
He tried to laugh and choked instead. “You’re my Alpha and you will it so, is that it?”
“Exactly.” He could see the concern in Tristan’s eyes as his brother looked off in the distance at the fight going on around them. “Why aren’t you fighting?”
Tristan grinned, the Kane side smile that meant he was about to make a joke. “Someone has to guard your sorry ass.”
Az groaned and he wished it were at the joke as his vision blurred. “You and your new expressions, they’re going to get you beat up by some human.” He could barely make out Tristan’s face. “Cullen wouldn’t let you?”
“I hate when they enact pack law. What is the point of being Alpha if they never let me fight?”
Leah’s scent spread over him like the first taste of spring after a long winter. Before he could blink she was by his side. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see her.
“I don’t think he can see you. Move over here where I am. He’ll make you out.” How had Tristan known that? Oh that’s right he was broadcasting all of his thoughts. “Az, listen to me.” Oh her voice was like music, like the sweetest songbird, like Beethoven. She laughed and shook her head, tears in her eyes. “I’m perfectly prepared to follow you to the next life but not today. I had a thought on the way over here and Ashlee thinks it’s plausible. I have a way with spirits. They come and take possession of my body. I’m going to hold yours here while Ash fixes you.”
“How are you?” He realized for a second that he’d never finished his thought. It didn’t matter. Blackness became his existence.
13
Leah felt as if she burned from the inside out. She had felt it—like a butterfly flapping its wings on her eyelashes—the second Az’s soul had left his body. She’d reached out and grabbed it with her metaphysical hands. Now she had to hold it in place. Her whole body buzzed and her ears rang. It wasn’t easy keeping his soul earthbound when it wanted to move on to the next place.
“Almost done, Ash?” She must have asked ten times already and she didn’t care if it annoyed anyone, she was just going to keep on asking.
“One more minute.” Ashlee looked pa
le, her hands over Az’s body as she quietly chanted words Leah couldn’t understand. Hells bells, she didn’t care if the woman was reciting her grocery list as long as it healed Az’s body enough to put his soul back into it.
Tristan placed a strong hand on her back. She wanted to flinch but supposed it wasn’t a good idea to recoil from the Alpha’s touch.
No, we love our Alpha.
Her wolf was, at least, resolute.
“He always thinks of himself as so unworthy.” Tristan’s voice sounded rough, like sandpaper being pulled tightly over a wall of wood. “We could hardly run the pack without his skills. Now we find out he’s hiding this magical ability, one he technically couldn’t have, but gods know we need.”
Didn’t the man have any idea how hard it was to speak at this moment? He wanted her to discuss emotional issues on top of that? “Tristan, my Alpha…”
He interrupted her. “Don’t talk. I just want you to listen.”
Okay, she could do that. “As if he hasn’t done enough, he takes on our father and a contingency of his wolves all by himself as he manages to collect pivotal data for the pack’s survival.”
She nodded. He had done all those things.
“I want you to know that whatever he thinks of himself, how little he values himself, we think him integral. He’s my brother. I was grown when he was born. Theo and I are close in age but Az was, in some ways, like my first child. I think he’s extraordinary.”
She knew he didn’t want her to speak but felt she had to say something to that huge statement. Opening her mouth, she never got the chance as Ashlee finally finished. Exhausted, the other woman slumped to the floor caught easily by her mate.
Leah’s job wasn’t quite done yet. Closing her eyes she willed her hands to move Az’s soul from her keeping back into his own body. It was like carrying lead. As her arms sagged under the pressure, she promised herself she would never volunteer to do this job unless the situation was dire. Messing around with souls was more than she wanted to handle.