CHAPTER VIII
BLISTER GIVES ADVICE
Blister Haines, J. P., was by way of being a character. His waggishviewpoint was emphasized by a slight stutter.
"S-so you want to h-hitch up to double trouble, do you?" he asked.
"We want to get married," Bob said.
"S-same thing," the fat man wheezed, grinning. "C-come right in an' I'lltie you tighter 'n a d-drum."
"I've only got six dollars," the bridegroom explained.
"No matter a-tall. My f-fee is jus' six d-dollars," the justice announcedpromptly.
Bob hesitated. June nudged him and whispered. The husband-elect listened,nodded, and spoke up.
"I'll pay you two dollars."
Blister looked at the bride reproachfully. "L-lady, if you ain't worths-six dollars to him you ain't worth a c-cent. But I'll show you how gooda sport I am. I'll m-make you a wedding present of the j-job. Got anywitnesses?"
"Do we have to have witnesses?" asked Bob helplessly. Getting married wasa more formidable and formal affair than he had supposed.
"Sure. I'll dig 'em up."
The justice waddled to the door of the saloon adjoining and stuck hishead inside. A row of cowpunchers were lined up in front of the bar.
"Y-you, Dud Hollister an' Tom Reeves, I'm servin' a subpoena on you ladsas w-witnesses at a w-weddin'," he said in the high wheeze that soundedso funny coming from his immense bulk.
"Whose wedding?" demanded Reeves, a lank youth with a brick-red face, thenose of which had been broken.
"N-none of yore darned business."
"Do we get to kiss the bride?"
"You h-hotfoot it right to my office or I'll throw you in the c-calaboosefor c-contempt of court, Tom Reeves."
The puncher turned to Hollister, grinning. "Come along, Dud. Might 'swell learn how it's done, ol' Sure-Shot."
The range-riders jingled into the office at the heels of the justice.Blister inquired for the names of the principals and introduced thewitnesses to them. The gayety and the audacity of the punchers hadvanished. They ducked their heads and drew back a foot each in a scrapethat was meant to be a bow. They were almost as embarrassed as June andBob. Which is saying a good deal.
June had not realized what an ordeal it would be to stand up beforestrangers in her dingy dress and heavy cracked brogans while she promisedto love, honor, and obey. She was acutely conscious of her awkwardness,of the flying, rebellious hair, of a hole in a stocking she tried to keepconcealed. And for the first time, too, she became aware of the solemnityof what she was doing. The replies she gave were low and confused.
Before she knew it the ceremony was over.
Blister closed the book and dropped it on a chair.
"Kiss yore wife, man," he admonished, chuckling.
Bob flushed to the roots of his hair. He slid a look at June, not surewhether she would want him to do that. Her long dark lashes had fallen tothe dusky cheeks and hid the downcast eyes.
His awkward peck caught her just below the ear.
The bridegroom offered the justice two dollars. Blister took it andhanded it to June.
"You keep it, ma'am, an' buy yorese'f somethin' for a p-pretty. I'd jes'b-blow it anyhow. Hope you'll be r-real happy. If this yere youngs-scalawag don't treat you h-handsome, Tom an' Dud'll be glad to rideover an' beat him up proper 'most any time you give 'em the high sign. AmI right, boys?"
"Sure are," they said, grinning bashfully.
"As j-justice of the peace for Garfield County, S-state of C-colorado,I'm entitled to k-kiss the bride, but mos' generally I give her one o'these heart-to-heart talks instead, onloadin' from my chest some f-freegratis g-good advice," the fat man explained in his hoarse wheeze. "Yougot to r-remember, ma'am, that m-marriage ain't duck soup for n-neitherthe one nor the other of the h-high contractin' parties thereto. It's ag-game of give an' take, an' at that a h-heap more give than take."
"Yes, sir," murmured June tremulously, looking down at the hole in herstocking.
"Whilst I n-never yet c-committed matrimony in my own p-person, me beingample provided with t-trouble an' satisfied with what griefs I alreadygot, yet I've run cows off an' on, an' so have had workin' for me severalof this sex you've now got tangled up with, ma'am," Blister sailed oncheerfully. "I'll say the best way to keep 'em contented is to feed 'emgood, treat 'em as if they was human, an' in general give 'em a more orless free rein, dependin' on their g-general habits an' cussedness. Ifthat don't suit a p-puncher I most usually h-hand him his hat an' say,'So long, son, you 'n' me ain't c-consanguineously constructed to ridethe same range; no hard feelin's, but if you're w-wishful to jog on toanother outfit I'll say adios without no tears.' You can't g-get rid ofyore husband that easy, ma'am, so I'll recommend the g-good grub,s-seventy-five s-smiles per diem, an' the aforesaid more or less f-freerein."
Again June whispered, "Yes, sir," but this time her honest eyes liftedand went straight into his.
"An' you." The justice turned his batteries on the groom. "You w-wantarecollect that this r-road you've done chose ain't no easy one tot-travel. Tenderfoot come in the other day an' w-wanted to know what kindof a road it was to S-stinking Creek. I tell him it's a g-good road.Yesterday he come rarin' in to f-find out what I told him that for.'Fellow,' I says, 'Fellow, any r-road you can g-get over is a good roadin this country.' It's t-thataway with marriage, son, an' don't youforget it a h-holy minute. Another thing, this being u-united in wedlockain't no sinecure."
"Ain't no which kind of a sin?" inquired Reeves.
Dud Hollister grinned admiringly. "Blister sure ropes an' hogties a heapof longhorn words."
The justice scratched his bald poll and elucidated. "A s-sinecure, boys,is when a f-fellow rides the g-grub line habitual an' don't rope nod-dogies for his stack o' wheats an' c-coffee." He wagged a fatforefinger at Bob. "You gotta quit hellin' around now an' behave yorese'flike a respectable m-married man. You gotta dig in an' work. At that you'n' the little lady will have yore flareups. When you do, give her thebest of it an' you'll never be sorry. Tha's all."
Blister slid a hand furtively into a drawer of the desk, groped for amoment, then flung a handful of rice over bride and groom.
The newly married couple left the office hurriedly. They did not look ateach other. An acute shyness had swept over both of them. They walked tothe buckboard, still without speaking.
June opened a perspiring little brown palm in which lay two warm silverdollars. "Here's yore money," she said.
"It's yours. He gave it to you," Bob answered, swallowing hard. "For aweddin' present."
"Well, I ain't no pockets. You keep it for me."
The transfer was accomplished, neither of them looking into the eyes ofthe other.
Blister Haines, flanked on each side by one of the witnesses, rolled paston his way to the bar of the Bear Cat House. His throat was dry and heproposed to liquidate his unusual exertion. He always celebrated awedding by taking a few drinks. Any excuse was a good excuse for that. Hewaved a hand toward the newlyweds in greeting.
Bob answered by lifting his own. He had not taken three drinks in hislife, but he felt that he would like one now. It might cheer him up alittle.
What in the world was he to do with June? Where could he take her for thenight? And after that what would they do? He had not money enough to paystage fare to get them away. He did not know anybody from whom he couldborrow any. Yet even if he found work in Bear Cat, they dared not stayhere. Houck would come "rip-raring" down from the hills and probablymurder him.
Anyhow, it would not do for him to act as though he were stumped. Hemanaged a smile.
"We'd better take the team to the corral, then go get something to eat,June. I'm sure enough hungry. Ain't you?"
She nodded. Even to go to the hotel or a restaurant for dinner was anadventure for her, so little of experience had her life offered.
As they walked from the barn to the Bear Cat House, the girl-bride wasstill dumb. The marriage ceremony had brought home to her the solemni
tyof what she had done. She had promised to love, honor, and obey this boy,to care for him in sickness and in health, till death came to part them.
What did she know about him? What manner of man had she married? Theconsequences of the step they had taken began to appall her. She wouldhave to live with him in all the intimacies of married life, cook forhim, wash his clothes, sit opposite him at the table three times a dayfor fifty years. He was to be the father of her children, and she knewnothing whatever about him except that he was gentle and friendly.
From under long curving lashes she stole a shy look at him. He was herhusband, this stranger. Would she be able to please him? June thought ofwhat Blister Haines had said. She was a pretty good cook. That was onething. And she would try not to let herself sulk or be a spitfire. Maybehe would not get tired of her if she worked real hard to suit him.
The hotel was an adobe building. In the doorway stood a woman leaningagainst the jamb. She was smoking a cigar. June looked twice at herbefore she believed her eyes.
The woman took the cigar from between her lips. "Are you the childrenBlister Haines just married?" she asked bluntly.
"We--we've just been married by Mr. Haines," Bob replied with an attemptat dignity.
The blue eyes of the woman softened as she looked at June--softenedindescribably. They read instantly the doubt and loneliness of the child.She threw the cigar into the street and moved swiftly toward the bride. Amoment before she had been hard and sexless, in June's virgin eyes almosta monstrosity. Now she was all mother, filled with the protectiveinstinct.
"I'm Mollie Gillespie--keep the hotel here," she explained. "You comeright in an' I'll fix up a nice room for you, my dearie. You can wash upafter yore ride and you'll feel a lot better. I'll have Chung Lung cookyou both a bit of supper soon as he comes back to the kitchen. A goodsteak an' some nice French frys, say. With some of the mince pie leftfrom dinner and a good cup of coffee." Mollie's arm was round June,petting and comforting her.
June felt and repressed an impulse to tears. "You're mighty good," shegulped.
The landlady of the Bear Cat House bustled the girl into a room and beganto mother her. Bob hung around the door. He did not know whether he wasexpected to come in or stay out, though he knew which he wanted to do.
Mollie sent him about his business. "Scat!" she snapped. "Get outa here,Mr. Husband, an' don't you show up till five o'clock prompt. Hear me?"
Bob heard and vanished like a tin-canned pup. He was the most relievedyouth in Bear Cat. At least he had a reprieve. Mrs. Gillespie would knowwhat to do and how to do it.
If being a married man was like this, he did not wonder that DudHollister and Blister Haines felt the way they did toward that holyestate.