Ally lands her lips over mine and covers my body with the softness of hers. She moans into her kisses as she sprinkles them down over my chest, my hips, right over my stomach, and I let out a groan. I reach over and grab a condom off the nightstand and can’t help but wonder if it’s the last one we’ll share, if there was a countdown on our lovemaking this entire time, and I was too stupid to realize it.
Ally takes the small foil square from me and tears it open. I can make out a sly smile buried in her cheek and she rolls it over me before straddling me with her knees and climbing onboard. Ally’s eyes reduce to slits as she relaxes over me. A hard groan expels from her throat and she has me clenching the bedsheets. Ally rides me slow at first, steady, with her hair falling around her like a curtain, revealing and hiding her features at random. I don’t take my eyes off her, just enjoy the hell out of listening to her breathing increase, her perfect body moving in rhythm to mine. I run my hand down her belly, touching the tangle of curls at the base before moving my thumb over her sweet spot until we’re both right there.
Ally lies over me, pulling my face in with her hands, as we hit that magical zenith together with our bodies tightening and spasming in unison. We spend all night making love as if we were both on the way to the guillotine in the morning, and for all she knows, that’s exactly where our relationship is headed.
Tomorrow is the day.
I push into Ally and she lets out a soft cry.
But the next several hours are all about us.
Ally presses her hand into the small of my back, and I collapse deeper inside of her. I never want this night to end.
I want to swim inside Ally Monroe forever.
14
THE LONG GOOD-BYE
Ally
Who the hell throws a good-bye party for someone you never want to see leave in the first place?
Early this morning the police called to let us know they caught Dell at the state line while trying to make a break for it in his rundown Chevy. I called Tess and she was horrified, but I told her to stay in New York, that we’d see each other soon enough. Now that Dell is out of our lives, we can all breathe a little easier. And, in light of that small legal victory, Kendall dubbed this a “double” celebration, but I was never planning to celebrate in the first place.
I toss the last of the paper plates and soda cans into the trash. To hell with recycling, I’m not in the mood to save the planet. I’m in the mood to save my relationship but can’t figure out how.
The sun warms the backyard of the Elton House Bed and Breakfast as Lauren and I clear the picnic tables where we shared our last meal with the man I love. It all sounds so dramatic. It feels so freaking tragic. I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to hold back the dam anymore and I’ll burst into tears like a three-year-old any second now.
“There’s a big party tonight.” Lauren sounds way too chipper, which just proves she’s incapable of understanding how miserable I really am.
“Have fun.” I cut a hard look to Morgan while he chats it up with Cruise and Cal across the lawn and the three of them spontaneously burst into laughter. Morgan glances my way, and his expression dims. I bet they were whooping it up over how easy I was for him. How good old Ally put him on the fast track for some serious summer loving.
I spear him with a look. How dare he make me fall in love with him and then drive out of town like it didn’t even matter.
“We will have fun.” Lauren harps on about Pen and his stupid party. God, I can’t even stand the sight of half the people who will be there tonight, let alone the one who won’t because he’ll be logging miles across long, lonely US highways. Unless of course he stops at all the strip clubs along the way, a whorehouse or two, to keep him entertained. Something tells me Morgan Jordan won’t be lonely for long.
“Earth to Ally.” Lauren waves her hand in front of my face.
“I’m not going,” I say without regard to whether or not we’re still on topic. Frat boys and frat parties in general don’t really seem to hold the same sway over me they once did. I have a feeling in just a few hours, nothing ever will.
“You have to. It’s Sigma Phi’s big end-of-summer fest. It’s Pennington’s deal, so that means champagne and caviar.”
“It means beer and questionable sushi,” I correct.
“Oh, come on. We’ll get good and toasted and walk home to our new apartments. It’ll be epic.”
“No.” I glare over at Kendall as she makes her way inside with Morgan, presumably to get his stuff together. I couldn’t stand the sight of his suitcase this morning. It managed to piss me off and make me want to cry all at the same time.
“Oh, hon.” Lauren reaches over and smooths her hand over my arm. “You don’t have a choice.”
I’m not sure if she means the party or the fact that Morgan’s leaving. Maybe both.
Cruise and Cal head over, followed by Kendall, and my heart drops. It’s like a funeral procession, only the dearly departed is taking off voluntarily to move on to greener scholastic pastures. At the end of the day, I was just another girl—a way to pass the summer, nothing but someone who helped him turn the pages of his carnal calendar. He’s probably got some cute jersey chaser waiting for him back home who he swore he loved just before he got here. He probably broke her heart on the way over and now he’s breaking mine on the way back.
Morgan comes out, leading with his silver carry-on—the silver bullet that’s about to shoot right through my heart.
I’m sorry I ever let him into my life. I’m sorry I ever introduced him to Ruby or Janice or Tess. I’ve never let anyone in so completely before—never trusted a soul with my heart—and now I know why.
“This is it,” Lauren whispers. “Be strong, girl.” Her brows rise and she pouts a little when she says it. Lauren’s been aware of my misery all along. The party was just a ruse to get my mind off things. “I got your back. ’Kay?” She ushers me over to his truck where everyone has gathered. Morgan slips his suitcase into the backseat with a depleted smile.
He glances up at me with his eyes heavy with sorrow, his dimples blinking on and off like some primitive warning signal.
Tears pool in my eyes and a knot the size of a fist swells in my throat, making it impossible to push out any words—not that I’d want to. I’m pretty sure go fuck yourself isn’t on the short list of things he’s expecting to hear.
“Call us when you get there.” Kendall wraps her arms around his back and rocks him. “You know you’ll have to come back for Christmas. You’re in my wedding, remember?”
“Got it.” He offers her a gentle pat. “Cruise.” He pulls him into a half hug. “Take care, man.”
Cal slaps Morgan over the back, and suddenly I’d like to administer a beating myself.
“Drive safe, dude.” Cal mock shoots him. “You’d better hope insurance springs for a renovation. And if it does, I expect you to be there for the grand opening.”
“That’s the plan.” Morgan looks over and gives a killer grin that highlights his dimples in the most dramatic way possible.
I officially hate those dimples. I’d run and hide in one if I could. I’m so mad at myself for being such an idiot.
Lauren gives me a shove, and I lurch forward with a manufactured smile plastered to my face.
“Have a safe drive.” It hacks out of me, breathy like an expiring balloon. Morgan pulls me in and holds me with his chest pressed against mine so tight I can feel his heart pounding like a lunatic in an asylum. Insanity would be the only way to explain his actions so it doesn’t really surprise me that his organs are orchestrating a mutiny. The soft scent of his cologne warms me, and a fresh pang of grief rips through my body like the serrated edge of a blade.
“I will,” he whispers softly in my ear and my stomach bottoms out like I just plunged down a mountain—a suicide drop straight to the sea. He pulls back with
his brows narrowed, his lips just a breath away from mine. “Is it okay if I call you?”
An explosion of heat detonates inside me—a seed of hope born of nothing but sheer desperation.
“Call me anytime.” I swallow hard as I align myself with Lauren.
What the hell was that? Where were the tear-filled I love yous? The Can I speak to you alone a minute? Who the hell is this imposter, and what did he do with the Morgan Jordan who ran his mouth over every inch of my body declaring his love for me until the sun came up?
Morgan keeps his eyes locked over mine. Those steel beams are relentless in pursuing me. They’re trying to make me say something when we both know he’s the one who should speak. His lips should form the words I can’t leave you. I’ll never leave you, Ally, because I love you too damn much.
But he doesn’t say it.
Morgan climbs in his truck and fires up the engine.
He speeds off with a simple wave and takes off toward the highway.
He drags my heart right along with him.
Morgan
Fuck.” I slap my hand down hard over the steering wheel as I head out of Carrington.
I should have told her I’ll be back as soon as possible, that I’ve made up my mind to turn in my baseball bat and attend the local JC until I can get back on my scholastic feet. I’ll always have law to fall back on—eventually. Ally would probably love to marry a lawyer one day, and, hopefully, the fact that that lawyer could be me will be an added bonus. But after that stunt I just pulled I’ll be lucky if she looks in my direction ever again. It was pretty clear I was choking her heart, making her wish she never laid eyes on me in the first place.
I shake my head.
Married to a lawyer, I scoff at my stupidity. I’ll be needing a lawyer once she gets ahold of a restraining order. That look on her face clued me in on the fact she was roasting my balls on a spit in private.
In an effort to turn this into some kind of romantic surprise, all I’ve managed to do is screw things up in a royal way.
Starbucks comes up on my left and I’m tempted to pull over, ask her to meet me here for one last kiss, but I suppose having someone meet you at the place where she got fired would be my second most unromantic feat of the day. It’s like I’m going for the breakup gold.
Garrison edges over the side of the highway with its Gothic architecture.
I admire the expansive, rolling lawn. I can almost smell the freshly cut grass, feel the sun searing over my skin. A spike of adrenaline surges in me. I pull off and head toward campus.
Why the hell not? So I lose an hour off my trip. At least I’ll have peace of mind knowing I did everything I could.
I park and trek over to the athletics department.
My heart discharges blow after blow like an assault rifle as I enter the cool of the building. The shadowed halls are empty, and the scent of the copy machine and warm paper thicken the air.
Coach Wexler’s office is sealed like a tomb. I lay my hand over the door as if it were the casket that held both Ally and me hostage.
“Jordan?”
A male voice calls from behind me.
I turn to find the coach lifting his brows with surprise and nearly shit my pants.
“I was just coming to see you,” I say, a little more enthusiastically than necessary.
“It’s about time. We have a strict practice schedule. We’re going to need to get your uniform ordered right away. I talked to your old coach and he seemed surprised by your decision. You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”
I blink at him, stumped by what he’s just said. It was as if I had willed those very words to stream from his mind, and I was waiting for him to realize his error.
“What’s the matter?” He looks me over as if I might be wasted.
“Are you saying I’m on the team?” My body tightens in knots, my palms slick with sweat, and I’m pretty sure my deodorant just lost all its antiperspirant superpowers.
“Didn’t your girlfriend tell you?” He pauses with his key partway inserted into the office door. “Cute blonde about yea-high?” He cuts his hand to his chest just the right size for a little maniacal blonde I know: Blair. Cruise was right, I should have run the other way.
“Nope, I guess she forgot to mention it.”
“Then I suppose she forgot to mention the school is offering a full scholarship.”
“A scholarship?” Every cell in my body vibrates like a live wire.
“It’s all yours. You’ll need to transfer your units and take care of the basics with the university, but you’ve got until late next week. Go ahead and get started on that and I’ll meet up with you on the field Tuesday, four o’clock.”
“Four o’clock, Tuesday. Nothing could keep me away.”
I drift back out into the sunshine with my head still spinning from the news.
I’ve got a scholarship, a spot on the team, and best of all I’ve got Ally—I hope.
I reach for my phone to call her and pause.
No, for sure this is the kind of news that needs to be delivered in person.
But first, I have a little side project I need to take care of.
I pull out my phone and search through the archive of pictures.
They’re all here, every last one.
15
THE GIFT
Ally
Alpha Sigma Phi is a hotbed of immorality and hedonism, as evidenced by the vast display of alcoholic beverages that would put the grocery liquor department to shame.
“I don’t drink,” I lament as Lauren tries to shove a peppermint schnapps in my face. “Things go very, very bad in my life when I drink.” I shudder at the thought. “Coffee, I drink coffee.”
“You can’t get a buzz off coffee.” She lowers her lids. Lauren is already more than fed up with me, and if she keeps trying to lighten my mood things are bound to get lethal.
“You can the way I make it,” I mumble mostly to myself. Some old-school rock funk blares from the speakers and a group of girls from Alpha Chi scream as they throw their hands in the air. I spot Molly with a couple of girls from Delta house. She has connections through Pen’s mom so they’ll probably let her in by proxy, but this chapter of Delta is notorious for its particular taste in hazing. I’m sure she’ll enjoy the hell out of it—she’s twisted that way. I wonder if my path had never crossed Morgan’s if she would have been his summer fling. I can’t help but feel a little jealous over something that never materialized. I’m pretty sure I’ll look at every pretty girl and wonder if Morgan would have hung around town for her, at least offered her a decent good-bye. In my heart I was hoping for a picnic on the beach, maybe a midnight swim, and a roll in the sand afterward, during which we declared our undying feelings under the lamp of a hot August moon. Instead I got the shaft, the See you later, have a nice life, and not even that.
Kendall and Lauren pop up, each brimming with smiles and giggles.
“This is going to be an amazing year.” Lauren winks over at Kendall as if she knows something. “I mean, you got your job back.” She nods over at me as if Starbucks is the cure-all for this indescribable ache Morgan left in me. “Plus, we’re practically roommates again. I mean I’ll hear everything you say, the walls are paper thin.”
Perfect. Turns out, listening to Kendall and Cruise go at it was just the prelude. I’ll have the non-pleasure of experiencing Lauren and Cal demonstrating what I’m assuming will be something akin to a tribal voodoo ritual. I’ll need earplugs if I ever hope to get any sleep.
“That’s fantastic,” I say, lackluster.
Kendall wraps an arm around my shoulder. “And I could really use your shopping superpowers to help with all the little details my wedding is going to need. Lauren’s got champagne taste, but I’d love to have someone on my team who knows the value of a dollar.”
&
nbsp; Kendall’s right. Lauren’s wedding budget alone could pull the space program out of fiscal purgatory.
“Okay, I’ll help.” A twinge of excitement pinches through me. The truth is, I love shopping on a budget. I think if I had dollars streaming from every orifice of my body, I’d still want to get the best deal on everything on the planet. It’s in my genes, and after witnessing Lauren purchase a jacket for eleven hundred dollars last winter, I’d say my thriftiness is not such a bad thing.
Blair comes up to our circle with Rutger by her side. They have on matching white polos and navy sweaters thrown over their shoulders—the uniform of assholes.
“Quick, someone alert the country club,” I quip. “We’ve got a couple of escapees slumming with the commoners. What’s the matter, Blair? Run out of boyfriends to steal?” I glance over at Lauren. “You’d better check on Cal. If my calculations are correct, his is the next penis she’ll try to deep fry with her designer vagina.”
Rutger belts out a laugh, and Blair swats him in the stomach.
“You always were a classless bitch,” she snipes at me. “At least I have someone in my life. Rumor has it you were ditched for those West Coast girls. I guess Morgan Jordan wasn’t that into you after all.”
Rutger belts out another laugh, and this time I swat him in the stomach.
There it is—the truth that Lauren and Kendall have spent all night skirting. There was a fire in my heart no one could put out, and now my enemies are hosing me down with lighter fluid, creating an inferno from an already out-of-control blaze.
“I wouldn’t put too much weight on those rumors.” A familiar male voice hums from behind.
I spin on my heels and my heart rockets right out of my chest.
“Morgan!” I wrap my arms around his gorgeous frame and lean my head against his chest. If this is a hallucination I want to enjoy it just a little bit longer.