* Besides, I really didn’t want to make a habit of vaporizing my own clothing. Once in a series is my limit.
* Librarians really do have a flare for dramatic scenery. Rutabaga.
* Nothing really to say here. Just felt like I needed a footnote. So, uh, how’s your family doing?
* Not going to make a pun here. Way too obvious. You’ve gotta be sneaky with them.
* What? You haven’t heard the fable of the rat who got tossed out of a window? It’s very popular among wooly sea sloths.
* Huh. First try. What are the odds?
* All good tuxes come with one.
* That’s more like it.
* Yes, dinosaurs are English—or, rather, English people sound like folks from Northern Nalhalla, where most of the dinosaur cities can be found. So if you met them, they’d sound and act British to you. As opposed to Smedrys, who generally just sound and act Bratish.
* Yes, I know that speech has been recorded as one of the most influential ever spoken. Unlike what your textbooks say, I didn’t spend three weeks preparing it. Sorry to destroy any illusions you have about me. But if you’re this far into my autobiography, I figure you must have defenestrated those long ago.
* Have you figured out what kind of dinosaur she is yet?
* Okay, so maybe “cake” doesn’t work as a replacement in every phrase. I guess that idea turned out to be half-baked.
* How was I going to properly write arrogant footnotes to everything if I didn’t know everything there was to know?
* Their togas had spoilers and they wore sunglasses.
* Bastille insisted I look this one up, so for the record, he only weighs 0.73 gaglazillion pounds.
* It was in a footnote. So if you don’t look at them, you missed it. Like you’re missing this one right now, which means I can say anything about you that I want, and you won’t see it. But what’s the fun in that?
* Which, by the way, is kind of a stupid word. What does it mean to be plussed anyway? Sounds like something mathematical.
* ¡Hola!
* Yes, I said altar. What did you think that stack of books atop it was? An altar. Made from old encyclopedias. No joke here. This paragraph was surprisingly hard for me to write; I’m going to take a break and eat a fish stick to wash the taste out of my mouth.
* Never thought I’d see that as a bad thing.
* You are reading this out loud, aren’t you? I mean, I’m sure I’ve told you to do that with these books at some point.
* Cake?
Brandon Sanderson, The Dark Talent
(Series: Alcatraz # 5)
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