Shattered
My eyes snapped open, my heart beating erratically in my chest. I felt empty, as if all the life was completely drained out of me.
What a terrible nightmare, a strange boy dying in my arms. Who was he again? The name was on the tip of my tongue, yet it would not come to me.
He had been so handsome, even the thought of his face making a blush creep onto my cheeks. Why would I dream something so terrible as his death?
I struggled to sit up from the bed I was laying on, feeling as if weights were wrapped around each limb. “No, don’t try to sit up,” a voice said, seemingly familiar in the way it warmed my body from head to toe. I tried to lift my head to put a face to the voice, but even that was locked in place. “Don’t move, Tammy.”
Tammy…was he speaking to me? I felt as if all my memories were stored away on an unreachable shelf, my fingers just barely grazing the edge. What was happening?
“Tammy,” the name flowed out of my mouth, feeling light on my tongue. What a wonderful name, I hope it belonged to me.
“Atmaja, what is happening?” the voice asked, making my stomach light up with an inferno. It felt like Heaven, causing a smile to fall upon my lips.
“Her body has just gone through the Transformation, it has to acclimate.” Another voice, this one sharp around the edges, making me want to lift my hands to cover my ears. Atmaja, I assume that was the speaker’s name.
“Acclimate? What do you mean acclimate? Tell me she will be okay-” I tuned out the voices, their pointless banter boring me. What was a ‘Transformation’, and who is ‘she’?
“-Tammy, do you know who I am?” I flinched at my name, feeling a warm hand gently touch my arm.
I wish I could answer this voice with a yes, tell him that I did know who he was, but it felt wrong to lie to him. “No, I am sorry. Who are you? What is happening?” I asked, my voice sounding as though made of beautiful glass.
“You don’t-you don’t know who I am? Atmaja, when-”
“It will take some time, King Duke. Understand that I mean no disrespect, but I think it best that you leave. Queen Tammy needs more rest, so she may recover to her full potential.”
King Duke…the name rung several bells within my head, bells that brought on flashes of memories that would not hold still enough for me to see them fully. I could see kisses within the dark, fights with eyes bright red, souls coming together as one, and love. The love was shining within both him and I, and I felt my breath catch. I loved him, but yet I did not know who he was. “Duke,” I whispered, his name making my heartbeat faster and body tingle in ways that made me shiver. “Duke?” Once again I tried to sit up, wanting to his face in front of me, but I could still not move even an inch. “Duke!”
But there was no answer, only silence in the air that told me I was alone. How long had I been trapped within my memories, reliving the flashes of my life with Duke?
I closed my eyes, feeling exhaustion settle in suddenly. My body melted in the bed as sleep claimed me, taking me away from the confusion that clouded my brain.
---
“I love you, you know that right?” Dracul asked, his voice like honey, a fire beginning where his hand rested on my arm.
“Yes, Dracul, just as I love you,” I whispered back, and pulled him closer to me. Was it bad to want so much just to kiss his lips, lie down in bed with him forever? Was it wrong to want him, yet still feel for Duke?
“No my dear, you do not understand the magnitude in which I love you.
In all the time I have been alive, I have felt nothing but the thirst. My body was torn to pieces, yet I felt no pain. I killed innocent children, mothers, fathers, and felt no remorse. I have laid in bed with hundreds of women, and felt not even lust. But you, you are something different, something new. Just knowing that you are alive, makes my heart beat faster. Seeing you beside me makes my body light up like a wildfire. Hearing your voice in my ears fills me with elation. I feel nothing but my thirst, yet I feel for you. Yet I love you. Do you understand now?” he asked me, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. “I love you.”
---
Dracul…his name was the first thought that came into my mind when I woke up, creating a flutter of butterflies within my stomach. I could remember the day I first saw him, the minute our eyes locked, the second I fell in love with him.
That was all I remembered though, my mind still a blank canvas waiting to be filled. Why was my memory so blank? What had happened that caused it?
I sat up, feeling relieved that I could actually move my body now. The room I was in was bland, white walls and nothing but the big plush bed that I was lying on.
It most definitely did not look like a room from the castle, nor did it seem to be a room from Duke’s home. Where was I?
“Tammy?” Duke’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, making a smile light up on my face.
“Hello Duke,” I murmured, smiling serenely at him. He looked so handsome, his short black hair having grown longer from my memories. Instead of it being spiked, it was curling softly at the nape of his neck.
“You-you remember me?” he asked, voice rising slightly with hope.
I tilted my head quizzically to the side, a light laugh falling from my lips. “Of course I remember you,” I answered back. “I have some questions though, if that would be okay?”
Duke nodded, which I took to mean ask away, and so I did. “Where am I? And what happened to me? Why is my memory so blank?” The questions tumbled out of my mouth, one after the other.
“You’re in the infirmary area of the castle. Ever since the Transformation, you have been in a coma. Atmaja, our doctor, has been trying everything to get you to wake up. She thinks that something traumatic must have happened during your Transformation, which caused you to block your memories. Do you have any idea what it might be?” Duke sat down on the bed beside me, smiling at me encouragingly.
“Duke honestly, if she remembers nothing then how is she supposed to remember that?” A voice filled the air, making nausea build up and burn my nose.
After a moment, a body joined the voice. It was a girl, her hair a thick brown with red highlights that made the blue of her eyes look deeper. She didn’t look that scary, but she made my insides quake.
“Pleased to meet you, my name is Kallisto,” the girl said, holding her hand out to me expectantly. I forced myself to grab it, trying to hold in the shaking that went bone deep.
“Kallisto, this is not an opportunity to start over with her. She will remember everything soon enough, and nothing will change what happened before.” Duke’s eyes flashed red, anger billowing off him in waves.
“I’m not trying to start over, but it’s not like what happened before was my fault! I wasn’t in control, how many times do we have to go over this? I mean-”
I started to tune them out, reclining back onto my bed. What if I tried to remember? What if I closed my eyes and reached into the furthest corners of my brain to unlock the memories stored there? Would it work?
I tried, snapping my eyes closed tightly and sending a quick prayer that this would go well.
I imagined a locked chest within my brain, filled to the brim with memories that I couldn’t access. Then, I imagined a bright and shiny key appearing within my hand; one that matched the lock from the chest perfectly.
I took a deep breath, then stepped forward and placed the key in the lock, turning it until I heard a thin ‘click’.
“Tammy? What are you doing?” My eyes snapped back open, locking with Dukes’ before my vision was bombarded with memories and I passed out.