His hold loosened on her. He eased back on his heels. She straightened and inspected the open book that had gotten crushed between them. Some of the pages had gotten creased. She smoothed them out and then set the book on a nearby table. All the while she was focused on him crouching too close in front of her.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Her anger wasn’t so quick to die away just because he knew how to say the word “sorry.” But she didn’t want to start escalating things again, so she just nodded. Maybe waiting up to talk to him had been a mistake. She avoided his gaze as she folded the throw blanket and draped it over the arm of the chair.
“Pia.” She looked at him. He held the jewelry box out to her. “I have a present for you.”
The starch keeping her spine ramrod straight melted. Damn him again. “Do you?”
He opened the box and lifted out the necklace. Gold and rainbow fire glittered in his dark fingers and was reflected in the gleam of his eyes. “I wanted to see how the opals would look against your skin.”
“It’s a beautiful present,” she told him. “Thank you.”
“I’d like to put it on you.”
“All right,” she said.
She pulled her hair into a hand and held it aside as she twisted in the chair. His fingers worked at her nape, securing the clasp. Then the weight of the necklace settled into place around her neck, much heavier than the slim chains she was used to. It was longer than a choker and fell to the top of her breasts. She looked down at it and touched one of the stones.
His fingers stroked the hollow at the base of her neck and trailed along her skin. “Lovely,” he whispered. He bent and angled his head to press a kiss against her throat. She stroked his black hair, her eyes half closed.
He drew back. The lines of strain were bracketing his mouth again. “Do you want to stay or not?”
“I’ll be honest with you,” she told him. “It’s hard to want to stay when you’re being impossible. But I don’t want to go.”
His gaze flared with something, triumph or relief, or maybe both. He started to pull her back into his arms.
“Wait.” She braced both hands on his chest. “I’m not done. I don’t see how we can finish this conversation until something else is concluded.”
“And what is that?” His eyes narrowed.
“I need to know for sure who and what I am. We both need to know. That’s got to come before anything else. You think you want me to stay, but what if you change your mind?” She put fingers over his mouth when he started to speak and said, “It doesn’t matter what you say right now, since this is actually about me. I won’t be able to trust things between us until I believe you know who I am. Hell, until I know who I am. I want you to help me try to change, please.”
He took hold of her hand and removed her fingers from his mouth. “Can I speak now?” he demanded.
He sounded mad again. She wondered if anyone had ever told him before that it didn’t matter what he said or thought. She licked dry lips and said, “Yes.”
“All right. You want to do this, we’ll do it right now.” He stood and pulled her to her feet.
“Now?” She looked at a nearby wall clock. “It’s four thirty in the morning.”
“The hell difference does that make? I’m not going to give you time to overanalyze things and chicken out. You napped, didn’t you?” He took her by the wrist and strode out the door.
“Well, yes.” She trotted to keep up with him. “Damn it, that’s another thing. You’ve got to stop dragging me around like a sack of potatoes.” It was always some kind of he-man issue with him.
He shifted his hold to lace his fingers through hers. “Better?”
“Maybe,” she grumbled.
He led her to the bedroom and into the dressing room. “You’re going to want to put on jeans and some shoes, maybe grab a sweater or jacket. There’s a pocket of Other land about fifteen minutes’ flight west of the city. I’ve used it before for this kind of thing. It’s not very big, but the magic is strong and steady.”
“Okay.” She walked into her closet and stopped. Nerves started to tie her insides up in knots.
Was she going to let him railroad her into doing this now?
Yes. Because he was right, she would overanalyze and she was already tempted to chicken out. It was hard enough to try on her own and fail to change. So much seemed to be on the line with this one.
Not giving herself a chance to think, she tore out of her skirt and hopped into a pair of jeans. She sat on the floor to tug on socks and her new running shoes, then grabbed a black zippered sweatshirt. Then she removed the opal necklace with care and laid it out on her dresser beside her small jewelry chest. She went into the bathroom to run her brush through her hair a couple of times, and she yanked the length back into a scrunchie.
Dragos appeared in the bathroom doorway. He had kept the jeans on and changed out of the Armani shirt, into another black T-shirt that molded to his muscled torso. He wore black boots and had a gun holstered at his waist and a sword strapped to his back.
She drew up short at the sight. “Oh-kay.”
“It’s just a precaution, Pia. We’re leaving the city,” he said. “We’re not going far, the gryphons are going with us, and we’ll still be well inside my demesne, but you’ve got to get used to this. Going out armed is a fact of life now.”
“Of course. It’s just another thing to get used to.” She looked at the holster. “A gun?”
“It’s for any trouble we might run into on this side of the passage. They’re safe enough to pack if you don’t fire them on the other side.”
She grimaced. “I guess I’ll adjust.”
“You’re doing more than fine with all this,” he told her. “I’m proud of you.”
She smiled at him as pleasure welled. She figured it was a measure of how far gone she was that his praise could affect her so. But she also suspected he didn’t offer praise lightly or often.
“All set?” he asked.
“Yes.” This time when he reached for her she was ready for him and took hold of his hand.
Bayne, Constantine, Graydon and Rune were armed and waiting for them when they went up to the roof. She looked from one to another. They were relaxed and alert and gave no hint that being called out before dawn was anything unusual. Graydon winked at her and she gave him an uncertain smile.
She hadn’t envisioned having quite such an audience when she tried to shift again. She struggled to not let it matter but the terrible sense of exposure from earlier that day came back, turning her nervousness to fear.
Dragos walked with her to the center of the roof. Some signal passed between the men that she didn’t catch. The four sentinels shifted into gryphons. She lost all sense of fear as wonder overcame her and she stared. They had the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. No drawing of a gryphon she had ever seen had quite managed to capture their strange majesty or fierce dignity. They were smaller than Dragos in his dragon form but still huge to her eyes, each one’s sleek muscled body the size of an SUV.
Dragos’s Power shimmered at her back. She turned and looked up at the bronze and black dragon and forgot all about the gryphons. He bent his immense, horned, triangular head down to her. She spread her hands over his snout, eyes shining.
He gave her a very careful nudge and whuffled. She pressed a kiss to the warm hide between her fingers. He picked her up, gathered himself on powerful haunches and launched from the Tower.
Just as Dragos had promised, the flight was short, which was good since it was so unpleasant. She kept her eyes closed so she didn’t have to look at the cityscape scrolling by underneath. She breathed through her mouth in an effort to control the nausea that welled as they took to the air.
After five minutes or so the violent nausea subsided and she felt herself acclimate to the flight. They had already passed over the Hudson and crossed into New Jersey, the gryphons winging in a protective formation around them. It was no
t long until they banked and began to glide downward.
She tried to make sense of what she was seeing. The spray of electric lights that blanketed the land broke up ahead of them, and a darker mass rose up ahead of them against the night sky. She asked, What is that?
First Watchung Mountain, said Dragos. This is a short, tight passageway along a deep ravine. Hold on.
The sense of land magic came on fast. The gryphons fell back as he went into a steep descent and glided very low. They passed between trees that topped the edges of a ravine. She could have sworn Dragos’s wingtips brushed the rocky edges on either side.
The lights in the distance behind them wavered and disappeared, and she could tell they had crossed over to the Other land. Dragos climbed in altitude but just for a few more minutes. Soon they dropped into a large clearing.
She found her land legs as Dragos put her on her feet. She stared around, reveling in the wind and the quiet. The night sky on this side of the passage was strewn with filmy clouds. The shimmer of land magic was stronger than she had ever felt before. It called to her on a silver moon tide, rousing the caged creature that lived in her so that it wailed and threw itself against the inside of her skin, beating to get out. She stared at the etched silhouette of trees that rippled and swayed in the wind, wondering what this little jewel of a place would look like in the daytime.
Dragos shifted, but the gryphons didn’t. They took watch in four points around the clearing. Dragos walked up behind her. He put his arms around her, pulling her back against him. She breathed deep, crossed her arms over his and leaned her head back against his chest. Her blood ratcheted too fast through her veins. She said, “I feel like I’m at home and in exile at the same time. I wish I could settle down.”
“We have time. We’re not going to rush this. And this is not an all-or-nothing situation. If it doesn’t work the first time, we’ll learn from it and try again.” His voice was calm and quiet. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m going to tell you some things now. Some of it is stuff I know, and some is just my opinion. I want you to listen to me: I am not asking you to do anything. If you want to turn around right now and go back to New York without trying, we’ll do that. All right?”
I love you, she almost said. She caught the words back just in time and instead gave him a jerky nod.
“You stand a greater chance of shifting if you give me your true Name.” His arms tightened, although she hadn’t moved. “I’m not asking you to give me your Name. We can try this without it. I’m just telling you that I can help you better if I know it. Sometimes half-breeds get caught in midtransition and they’re unable to complete the change. If that happens I can pull you over with your Name.”
“All right,” she said, her breathing choppy. “What else?”
“I’ve been giving this some thought. I know your mother has put protection spells on you. I could feel them right away when I first tried to beguile you. How long have you had them?”
“Ever since I can remember,” she replied. She tilted her head back to look up at him. His head was dark against the night sky, but she could see the faint lines of his face and the dark glitter of his eyes. “Mom was always worried that something might happen to her before I grew up. She was also worried about me being a half-breed, since I wasn’t as strong as she was and I couldn’t do half the things she could. I think she felt guilty for having me.”
His hand circled her throat underneath her chin. He kissed her mouth. “It’s clear she loved you very much and all she meant to do was keep you safe. She never meant to hurt you in any way.”
“She did,” Pia said.
Dragos continued, “I don’t know this for sure, but I’m guessing those protection spells are hampering your change. They’re very tightly woven around your core. So the way I see it, you have a couple of choices. You can try to shift just the way you are, and for all I know you’ll be able to. But if you want to give this your strongest shot, I think you should at least remove the protection spells while you try to shift. Sharing your Name is another issue altogether. It’s a pretty radical step. But I wanted you to know it’s on the table too.”
Panic tried to take her over. She fought an overwhelming urge to bolt. What the hell was she doing? This was going in the exact opposite direction of everything she had ever been taught. She gritted, “Give me a minute.”
“Take your time,” he said, his voice quiet and calm. He rubbed her arms.
Could her mother have trapped her with the very spells that were meant to keep her safe? How could she trust Dragos so much?
They were standing in the open, but she still felt the cage inside. She had always felt she was never strong or good enough. Next to her mother’s shining, radiant beauty, she felt dull as dirt and inadequate.
She knew her mother had loved her and would have hated to find out she had made her feel this way. But her mother had always been so afraid for her. Had her father’s death made her mother that fearful?
“I don’t want to live this way any longer,” she whispered. Dragos’s hands clenched on her, but he remained silent. She turned to face him. “I can’t take off the protection spells. I don’t know how. Can you remove them?”
“Not without hurting you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “And I will not do that.”
What if I tell you my Name? she asked, unable to say the words out loud.
Then yes, I could.
She looked up at the sky and told him her Name.
The breath left his body. He shuddered and held her tight, bowing his head and shoulders, wrapping himself around her. “You’ll never regret it,” he murmured. “Never. I swear that on my life.”
She laid a hand against his cheek as she rested against his chest.
He nuzzled her hand and began to whisper.
The whispers curled around her body, stroking her, urging her to relax, to open up to him. She looked up into his dark face and shadowed, hypnotic gaze. He stole into her like a thief in the night.
The dragon filled her to the deepest part of her being, coiling his bronze, serpentine body around her, whispering, whispering. The intricate citadel of spells inside her fell away. Great gold eyes filled her vision, as fathomless as the world. There was not a single part of her he did not hold.
Then with consummate skill, he began to withdraw. She looked at what he showed her, how to tap deep into herself for her Power when she willed the shift. Then she was alone inside her head. He cradled her and whispered, “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she whispered back. “But I feel so strange.” She felt stripped, all her senses wide-open. The tiny hairs on her skin raised as the wind blew through the clearing, and the world breathed magic.
He smiled. “Are you ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever get, I think.”
He let go of her and stepped back. She could feel his Power as he maintained a light connection with her. She looked around the open space. The gryphons were shadowed, motionless sentinels.
She reached deep inside for her Power. It came readily to her, welling up more plentiful and richer than it ever had. It filled her with a roaring gush of light. She stretched and extended everything she had toward the trapped wild creature that lay inside, the elusive part of her she had never before been quite able to reach . . .
And the world shifted.
SEVENTEEN
She looked intensely startled for a moment before her human form shimmered and disappeared. An exquisite creature glowing with a pearl luminescence took her place. She was the size of a small Shetland pony, but she was as far different from a pony as a greyhound was from a Saint Bernard. Her small body had willowy, racy lines. Long slender legs were tipped with dainty hooves. She had a graceful arched neck and a delicate equine head tipped with a sharp, sleek horn.
“Holy shit,” Dragos whispered. The possibility had crossed his mind from the various clues he’d been given but not with any real seriousness. In the whole of his life he had never laid
eyes on a unicorn. He had heard for many centuries that the rare creatures had been hunted to extinction, but he had always been inclined to consider them just a myth.
A unicorn’s horn could dispel any poison. She could heal with her blood. She could only be captured by unfair means. No cage could hold her. Her life sacrificed could bestow immortality.
No wonder all her mother taught her was how to run and hide.
Her large, dark violet blue eyes were Pia’s. They were wide with alarm.
Predators. She was surrounded by predators. She reared and wheeled, looking for a way to escape.
The tall dark man started crooning to her. She stamped a foot and lowered her horn at him. “Shh, my darling, you’re safe. Be calm. You’re safe.”
He took a step toward her. She scrambled back, tripped over herself and looked down in confusion. She had so many legs. She looked behind her. And a tail.
The large predators at the edge of the clearing were creeping closer, their eyes wide. The man snarled at them and they froze, then changed into men too. She galloped in a circle and made a sound of distress.
Then the dark man whispered her Name. She skidded to a stop and stared at him. “Remember who you are.” He spoke the words softly but with Power.
Pia shook her head and snorted. She lifted up a foot and looked at a hoof.
Hey.
She had changed. She was Wyr.
Dragos went to his knees. Everything in him was in a suspended state of apprehension. After all they’d been through, after she had taken such a radical step and trusted him with her Name, she looked close to panic again at just being near him. It was her Wyr side. It had to be. The animal had taken too much control.
“Come on, darling,” he coaxed. He held his empty hands out from his sides. “There’s no reason for panic. You remember all of us. You like us. God, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
She arched her neck and looked at him sidelong. Was that awareness in her eyes? Did she understand what he was saying?