8. ALONE
I couldn’t believe how much fun I had tonight! It was great! I never thought I would like laugh like that, what a rush. I still felt giddy thinking about it. Of course, it’s back to reality as we pulled up to my cousin’s house. As I got out of the car, I felt the grin plastered on my face.
I turned and looked back into the window, “Thanks so much, guys. I had a great time.”
“I’m glad you came. It was fun watching you and Andy trying to walk after getting off the Gravitron.” Patrick smiled at the memory.
“Hey, centripetal force is killer! And I never said I could walk straight to begin with, let alone after being spun around 100 miles an hour.” I joked back. I turned my attention to Andy. “It’s not fair for him to expect us to walk right after being spun around like that, is it?”
Andy smiled and playfully punched Patrick, “No.”
“It was really nice meeting you Andy. I had fun.”
“I had lots of fun! Wanna go next weekend?”
“Yeah. Good idea, Andy. How ‘bout it? You up for next weekend?” He said hopefully.
“I’d really like to. I gotta check with my parents first. I’ll let you know.” I really hoped my folks would let me go. I needed to find a way to convince them.
They pulled away from the curb and just like that my crazy fun night was done. I tried to get a grip on myself, to wipe the stupid grin off my face. I mean, I could be happy, but I didn’t need my folks to get the wrong idea or ask too many questions. I wanted to keep this night to myself. If I didn’t have to share it with them, then I could hold on to my feelings and joy a little bit longer. The last thing I wanted was some third-degree that would pick apart my night and make me defensive about it. That’s how it always ended up. They’ll think something is up between me and Patrick. There wasn’t. But that’s not what they’ll think and then they’ll definitely not let me go with him and Andy next weekend.
When I got to the door, I could hear the laughter inside. They were having a good time. Good. Maybe they won’t bug me about my night and just go on having fun with theirs. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. Hmm, maybe it didn’t ring when I pushed it. I pushed the doorbell again. I know I heard it this time. I also heard all the laughter inside. I heard my name and then more laughter. They were laughing at me. They knew I was out here waiting for them to open the door and let me in and they weren’t doing anything about it, but laughing. I felt like I got slapped in the face, punched in the stomach and the ground beneath me give way all at the same time. They were laughing at me. I sat down on the stoop in front of the door trying to get a grip on myself. How did I go from the best night of my life to the worst?
What was I going to do? It was way too far to walk home from here. How would I explain that to my parents? But, why should I even care what I would say? They were the ones laughing at me and not letting me in. Still, I couldn’t help but fall into my pattern of defending my actions to my parents. I sat there for at least ten minutes debating what to do and finally realized there was only one thing I could do. So, I got up and tried to contain the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I still could hear the laughter inside the house and feeling very much like an outsider. An outsider to my family, where I knew I was different from them, but I never felt so isolated and alone from them as I did right now. I pushed the doorbell and heard it ring. At least this time, I heard a pause in some of the laughter. It seemed to take an eternity before the door opened to let me in.