18. NEW MEMORIES
We finished up dessert, in no time. Like I said, it was really good. Patrick asked the waitress to call us a cab and paid the bill. He wouldn’t accept my money to chip in for the bill. He kept telling me not to worry about it, it was his treat. Our cab arrived and we headed to our first destination: the art museum.
We got to the museum. Patrick was an awesome docent. I figured that since he was taking Art History, he’d know a lot about the artwork. He did. What I didn’t realize was that he and his family visited the museums in the area every time they came up to visit Lindsey. He showed me all his favorite pieces in the museum. It was like having my own personal tour guide of the museum. Patrick would animatedly describe each painting, including the artist and style. Admittedly, we were a little louder than your typical art patron in a museum. We kept getting hushed as we rushed from one painting to another which only made us laugh harder.
Nearby was the Exploratorium, so we headed there next. There were so many hands-on exhibits, I didn’t know where to start. Luckily, Patrick did. He had a plan of attack to check out as many of the exhibits in optimal time. A science center is a place to see the world of science through the eyes of a kid. It was like Disneyland. So, it didn’t have the rides, characters, or fireworks, but it was fun in its own way. You could act like a kid, even if you weren’t, and no one looked at you funny. Besides, Disneyland’s rides and stuff wouldn’t exist without science, so, they were similar. Okay, that’s just another example of my unique logic.
Patrick called his sister to let her know where we were and what our plan was for the rest of the day. She was going to pick us up and hang out with us at the zoo. They both had zoo memberships. We still had over three hours before we had to be at the airport. So, even if we couldn’t see the entire zoo, we could check out a large part. And at the rate we were blazing through our tourist spots, it should be plenty of time. We were in the gift shop when Lindsey called to let us know she was outside the science center. The three of us headed to the zoo.
Lindsey, who was taking a photography class this semester, took lots of pictures. She took pictures of plants, animals, and people. She seemed to like taking candid pictures of people. She must have spent half the time at the zoo behind the lens. She had taken pictures of Patrick and me in those cutouts where you stick your face in the holes where the faces of characters should be. We each took turns behind the camera to take pictures of the other two behind the goofy poses of characters.
We visited many of the areas at the zoo. The African Savanna and Penguin Island were two of my favorites. One of the cool things I had a chance to do was feed a giraffe. Patrick laughed when the giraffe drooled all over my hand and I made a face. It was very cool and very gross at the same time.
We took a little break at one of the zoo’s cafes. Patrick got in line to order for us, while Lindsey and I sat down at a nearby table. “So, how are the guys doing?”
“Guys?” I didn’t follow.
“Yeah, you know, the crew…Bobby, Jason, Tony and Kraig. How are they doing?”
“Good.”
“They’re good guys.”
“Yeah, they are.”
“Did you know them before?”
“Knew them a little. I had Bobby in history and math with Kraig last year.”
“What about Emily, Cassie and…Becca?”
“Doing ok.”
“Are you close with them? Sit with them during the games?”
“Not really. Well, with most of them—Tony, Kraig, Emily and Cassie. Becca usually sits with her friends, if she comes.”
Lindsey looked at me curiously, “Really? She doesn’t hang out with you guys at the games? Well, I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…” She glanced back at Patrick, who was still in line. “I love my brother. I think he’s smart, funny, and kind. He always sees the best in people. But I really don’t get what he sees in her. I just don’t get it, but she seems to have him snowed or something. Or, he’s blind to it. I don’t know which.” She looked back at her brother. “We went to the San Diego Zoo last summer. Becca came with us. I don’t know which she did more—paw all over Patrick or try to kiss up to my parents. My parents were not impressed, they saw through her, always trying to be the center of attention. Like when we took pictures at the cutouts there, she didn’t want to do it. She got Patrick to focus on her by trying to convince her to get in the picture. She didn’t want to do it just because I suggested it. I don’t know why she came. She didn’t have any interest in seeing the animals, or even letting Patrick or the rest of us watch them. Anytime I talked to Patrick, she got all clingy, interrupted us, or tried to distract him…stuff like that.”
A look of disgust crossed her face. “Please! I’m his sister. Yeah, he didn’t see her games. You know guys, clueless. So, if she’ll play these games with me…you need to watch your back with her. I’m surprised they’re still together. We keep hoping he’ll come to his senses and see her for what she is.” She shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you.”
“That’s okay. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who noticed…how she is. I thought I was imagining it.”
“So, hey, what about you?” I looked blankly at her. I had no idea what she was talking about. “Any guys you’re interested in?”
“Nah. I’m not exactly looking at the moment.” The thought of it freaked me out. I couldn’t imagine dating a guy…
“What about Kraig?” Lindsey asked.
“He’s okay.” What did she want me to say?
“Are you going to the Winter Formal?”
“No.”
“Isn’t the rest of the crew going?”
“Most of them, I think. Tony is asking some girl from his history class.”
“And Kraig?” I got the feeling she was trying to play matchmaker.
Patrick arrived with our food. “Kraig? What about him?”
“Is Kraig planning on going to the dance?” Lindsey innocently asked him.
“Yeah, I think he is.” Patrick passed out the food that was on the tray.
“With anyone? Or stag?”
“Stag.” Patrick seemed to pick up on what Lindsey was going after.
“Maybe he could take Liz, so the whole crew is there.”
“That’s good idea.”
“I’m not looking for a date.” I finally got a chance to interrupt.
“No. Not a date.” Patrick reassured me as I shot him a pleading look. “I know you don’t want that.”
Did he? I would have thought that after today he would.
“No, just so that you have someone to hang out with at the dance.” Lindsey seemed to pick up my wish to not have a date right now.
“I think it would be great if you went. It’ll be fun.”
“Fun? I don’t think that tripping and falling while I attempt to dance constitutes fun.” I could just imagine making a fool of myself as I fell attempting to dance.
“You don’t have to dance, if you don’t want to. Just hang out.” Patrick smiled, “Do me a favor, come and save me the trouble of telling you what happened.”
I looked at him and smirked. He knew what words would make me comply, do me a favor. Patrick always did so much for me and never really asked much of me. Besides, there was something about how he asked… “Fine. Only if Kraig wants to. If he already had plans, then you can’t ask him to change them.”
“Oh yeah, of course.” He agreed.
“Seriously, Patrick. I don’t want to be fixed up, this is not a date and he needs to be clear on that. I don’t think of him that way.” I don’t think of anyone that way.
“I know. I know.” He put his hand on my arm. “Relax. Can I call him?”
I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Sure.” I looked at the fries on the table. “We need ketchup.” I got up to find the condiment area. Just because Patrick was going to call Kraig now, didn’t mea
n I had to sit and watch him do it.
From a short distance, I watched Patrick on the phone talking to Kraig. It was fine with me if Kraig didn’t want to go with me. I could just stay home, something I planned to do to begin with. But, I guess, part of me did want to go to the dance. I just didn’t want to go alone. Going stag with a friend would be okay. I could deal with that. I slowly counted out ketchup packets and walked back over to our table. Patrick just finished up his quick conversation with Kraig. Quick. Too quick? That could mean anything.
I sat down and dropped the ketchup on the table. “Well, that was fast. I didn’t really want to go anyway.”
“No, he said it was a great idea and he’d be happy to take you.” He shrugged nonchalantly.
“As friends…right?” I wanted to be sure of that.
“Yeah, as friends.” Patrick opened up the ketchup packets and squirted it onto the fries. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll have fun.” He popped a couple fries into his mouth and grinned.
“Hey, guys. I want a picture.” Lindsey seemed excited that her idea had taken shape. Her matchmaking of sorts, worked.
“You and your pictures.” Patrick teased. He picked up her camera and took some pictures of Lindsey and me. We decided to act especially goofy while he took pictures.
After about a dozen more poses, Lindsey took the camera from him. “My turn.” She got up, went over to Patrick and pushed him over to my side of the table. “Go.”
Patrick sat down next to me and rested his arm on my shoulder. We smiled as Lindsey took some pictures. Next thing I knew, Patrick stole one of my chicken fingers. I tried to grab it back from him, but he held it out beyond my reach. Each time I tried to get it, he pulled it away from me. It was like a weird game of keep away. Finally, I got up and ran over to his other side to grab it. He switched hands and still kept it out of my reach. It wasn’t about the food, it was about winning the game. A game which kept all three of us laughing, that Lindsey got pictures of and that I would never win.
Eventually, we calmed down enough to sit and eat our food. We hung out at the café, took some more pictures and laughed. We visited some more animals including the meerkats. It was interesting to see how they worked together to keep the entire group safe. There was definitely a community feel.
Time flew by at the zoo. Before I knew it, we had to get to the airport. I wasn’t looking forward to getting back home. I would have preferred to stay in San Francisco. Wow, I never thought I would ever think that. But thanks to Patrick and Lindsey, it was true. At least in San Francisco with them versus being alone, this visit will have very different memories—especially the afternoon. Being alone sucked, no matter where I was.
Lindsey took us to the airport. This time, I sang along with some of the songs she played because I was having fun instead of blocking out reality. We said our goodbyes at the airport curb.
Lindsey hugged me, “I want you to enjoy the Winter Formal. Have fun. Kraig is a great guy…and cute.” I made a face and Patrick chuckled. She winked, “I know, I know, you don’t think of him that way. But, just keep an open mind. You never know what your heart wants until it wants it.” I nodded. It was nice to have someone that was like a big sister to me. “And don’t forget, I want a picture of you guys.” She pointed to both of us.
“Don’t I always give you one? I only give them to mom and you.” Patrick retorted. Lindsey laughed. “Thanks so much for everything. I really appreciate it.”
“Me too. Thanks, Lindsey. It was really great meeting you and hanging out.”
“Glad to do it. I’ll send you a link to the pictures tonight. Anytime you guys want to come up, just let me know! I had fun.”
“I’ll call you when I get home. Thanks again.” He hugged his sister and we turned to walk into the airport.
We found our gate and sat down to wait for our flight. It was delayed. I didn’t mind the delay. If it kept me from going home and not having to deal with my parents, I was fine with it. While Patrick called his parents to let them know that we were delayed and when we were expected to arrive, I went over the day in my head. So much had happened. It was its own rollercoaster.
“How are you doing, Liz?” His voice slightly startled me and I snapped out of my trance. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just a long day.” I rubbed my neck. “Long day…”
“But you got through it.”
I cracked a smile, “Yeah, I did. Thanks to you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You did a lot. A lot.” I hugged him. I felt tired. “Today has felt like a week. This morning feels so far away. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad. Really glad that it’s over and that you know what happened. That I don’t have to hide it. I felt bad about not telling you, but I didn’t…” I shook my head.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Point is, I know now. And I’m still here for you—whatever you need.” He patted my knee. “Hey! So, you figure out which place we went to was my favorite?”
I looked at him, eyed him up and down. “I have an idea.”
“Yeah?” There was something sly in his smile. “Go for it.”
“Ok. Well…” I was pretty sure I knew. But I really hate it if I was wrong. I took a deep breath. “The art museum, zoo and Exploratorium.”
“Can you be more specific?” He challenged.
“Hmmm… More specific, huh? There was the Magritte at the art museum, on the second floor. The giraffes at the zoo and…the ‘Make your own telescope’ exhibit at the Exploratorium.” I looked at him squarely, watching his reaction.
“Well, that’s more specific.” His eyes were curious and he looked like he was trying to hold in laughter.
“What? Am I wrong? I thought I nailed it.”
He laughed out loud, “No, you’re not wrong.”
“I knew it.” I grinned. I was proud of myself. “I may not have won the ‘grab back the chicken finger’ game.” I said mockingly. “But I won this one.”
“Yeah, you won this one. How did you know?”
“That’s for me to know and you to wonder about.” I teased.
“Come on, Liz. Tell me.”
“I told you, you’re my best friend. I know you.”
“Okay. True. But how did you know which thing at each place? I didn’t think you’d be able to name all three right.”
“I’m pretty observant. I’m not completely self-absorbed, you know.”
“I know. But am I that easy to read?”
“No, you aren’t. I just pay attention to details, the little things. You just seemed to have the most fun at the Magritte, the giraffes, and telescope exhibits.”
“I had fun at all three places. I really liked showing them all to you.” He did seem to have fun. Relaxed. I think that it did us both some good today.
“I know. But you got really…I don’t know…energetic? Your face lit up even more…not sure how to describe it, but your excitement about it was contagious. They winded up being some of my favorites too.” I laughed at the memory of Patrick at the giraffes. “Like at the zoo, I could tell that the giraffes were your favorite animal. It was clear. You were like a little kid all excited. We could have stood there all day watching and feeding them, if we had the time.”
“Yeah.” He admitted. “I could watch the giraffes for hours. That’s why I brought you there last. If we went to the zoo first, we never would have gotten to the Exploratorium or the art museum.”
I bit my lip. “Mind if I ask you something?”
“No, what?”
“What were you thinking about at the giraffes? I mean, you really did seem like a little boy, in a good way… What makes them special for you? Why are they your favorite?”
His eyebrows raised, “Wow, you do notice things. I thought about the first time I got to feed a giraffe. I was around Andy’s age and we did this safari caravan thing at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, where we got to drive into exhibits. I got to feed a giraffe. It ate right out of my hand
and tried to lick my cap. I used to imagine playing basketball with them. Since then, it’s been my favorite animal.”
“And…so…why did you seem to get sad for a second? Did something happen?” Patrick looked at me, his face scrunched up. I got scared that I hit a nerve. “Never mind, you don’t have to tell me. I didn’t mean to pry. Forget I said anything.”
“No… I always said I’d tell you the truth and answer anything you asked.” He sighed deeply. “It’s stupid.”
“Hey, you always told me whatever I thought or felt wasn’t stupid. So, are you wrong or are you right?” I teased him. “And here I thought you were always right.”
Patrick suppressed a little laugh, “Ok. Well, the last time I went to the zoo was last summer. Becca came with me and my family to the San Diego Zoo.” He looked a little sad at the memory. I remembered what Lindsey had told me about that trip. “When we got to the giraffes, she kept complaining about the smell, since they were near the rhinos and saying how they were really awkward, funny looking animals. She kept trying to drag me off to get something to eat or to shop or something. We were there, for like 2 minutes, when I couldn’t take her bitching anymore about them. So, we left.”
“I’m sorry.” It didn’t seem like he had much fun during that visit either.
“It’s not your fault. I should never have brought Becca to the zoo, I thought it would be fun and she would get to know my family better.” He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Anyway…I’m glad we completed our whirlwind tour. Much better sites to see than the last time you were here, right?” He grinned.
“Let’s see…museum, science center and zoo with you and Lindsey…compared to an alley and the hospital by myself. Gee, tough decision.” I said sarcastically. “How will I ever decide?”
Reluctantly, we took out our physics notes to study for tomorrow’s quiz while we waited for our plane to arrive. It was a reminder of the reality that I would soon have to return to. Parts of it, I didn’t mind. Like school, or at least certain classes, I didn’t mind so much. Going back home and having to face my parents, I could do without. But, I had no choice. Oh well.
Just as we were finishing up our review, our plane arrived at the gate. We put our stuff back into our backpacks and got in line to board. I couldn’t help but yawn. Man, I was tired.
“Tired, huh?” Patrick put his arm on my shoulder.
“Yeah. Suddenly, I feel so tired. Like I could sleep for days.” It was true. I felt like I could barely keep my eyes open and my body felt so heavy.
“You should get some sleep on the ride back.”
“I’ve never been able to sleep on a plane, but this time, I might actually be able to.” I was always uncomfortable sleeping on a plane, because if anything happened, I wanted to be awake. That something could be the flight attendant coming by, someone sitting next to me having to use the restroom, anything. Also, I never really trusted strangers, even before my attack. I guess that’s why I took on so much blame, I was aware of my surroundings and I still got attacked. So, sleeping on a plane, while it was an enclosed space, still required an amount of trust that I never had, even with my parents flying with me. This time, I was exhausted and, more importantly, I knew that I could trust that Patrick wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.
Patrick found our seats and let me slide in first. We put our stuff away and settled into our seats. Patrick asked a flight attendant for a blanket. After getting the blanket, I was asleep before we took off. I don’t even remember hearing the usual emergency instructions.