* * *
When we got to the bowling alley, the rest of crew was already there bowling. They had rented two lanes and were in the middle of a game. Patrick and I went to the desk to rent our shoes. We had to leave one of our shoes as collateral. Who would want to steal rental bowling shoes? I definitely wouldn’t.
After we put our oh-so-fashionable rental shoes on, we went in search for balls to use. I had no idea what I was looking for. Some balls were colored, others were just black. Did it matter? Should I get a ball that’s a different color, so I could tell it was mine? What do I do? I stared at the shelves of bowling balls completely lost.
Patrick nudged me. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you. There are two main things you need to look for. First, we need to find you a ball that isn’t too heavy for you. Try an eight or nine pound ball.”
He found a nine pound ball and put it in my hands. “How does that feel?”
I shrugged. I didn’t know how it was supposed to feel.
“Hold it with just one hand. Does it feel too heavy?”
“No. It doesn’t. Maybe a little light. I’m not sure.”
“Okay.” He kept looking through the shelves. He handed me another ball to try. “Here, try this.”
He took the nine pound ball and handed me another. Even holding it with two hands, I felt like I could drop it. “Too heavy.”
“Okay. That was an eleven pounder. Ten would probably work.” He found a ten pound ball and I tested it out. It felt much better than the nine or eleven. “How does it feel?”
“Good. I think this works.” I was about to go back to our lane, but remembered that he said there were two things to look for. The weight was one. What was the other?
“Put your fingers in the ball. Like this.” He showed me which fingers to put in what holes. I mimicked and showed him. “Looks like it’s too tight. If it’s too tight, your fingers will get stuck in the ball when you try to release it. You may wind up going down the lane with the ball. And you don’t want it to be too loose, otherwise it will be hard for you to hang onto the ball and it could go flying behind you.”
“Yeah, no. I don’t want to do that. I need different one.” Now that I knew what I was looking for, I searched through the shelves of balls. Patrick did as well, looking for a ball to use for himself.
I tried several different balls until I found one that fit Patrick’s description—not tight and not loose. I felt like Goldilocks, trying to find the perfect bed or something. Only I wasn’t in some bear-owned cabin and I wasn’t a blond.
I met Patrick back at the crew’s lanes. The whole crew was there. I did notice one person that wasn’t there. Not that I really minded. “Where’s Becca?”
The crew exchanged knowing glances. Tony tried to politely answer my question, “Becca doesn’t like bowling. Let’s just list it under the things that she doesn’t like about us.”
“She tried it once. The rest of us didn’t have any fun when she came. So…” Emily tried to be tactful herself. “It’s just better that she doesn’t come.”
“Oh. Okay.” It made sense. But, how was I supposed to respond to that? If I’m a drag then I won’t be invited back? I tried to make a joke out of it, but I wasn’t really joking. “So, no pressure here. If I suck…”
“No, no! That’s not what I meant.” Emily rushed to respond and hugged me. “You are always welcome to come. You’re one of us!”
“Thanks.” I hugged her back. “But you might change your mind after I smack one of you with the bowling ball.”
The crew had finished their game. Cassie, Emily and Tony went to the snack bar while the rest of the guys stayed behind. Patrick stood up and grabbed his bowling ball. “Okay, Liz, watch me.”
I nodded and watched him stand in front of the lane. He took aim, swung his arm back while he walked to the lane and released the ball right at the lane. I watched the ball roll down the lane. It hit just to the right of the front pin. Wow. Eight pins fell and only the two in the far left corner were left standing. “I’m supposed to do all that?! Didn’t we talk about how uncoordinated I am?”
The guys chuckled. Patrick reassured me. “It’ll be fine. Just do what you can.”
His ball returned and he picked it up again. “After this, it’ll be your turn to try.”
He did the same sort of thing again—the aiming, the swinging of his arm while walking and releasing at the front of the lane. It was all so perfectly timed together. I watched the ball roll down the lane from one corner to the other and knock the other two remaining pins down. The guys gave him high fives when he returned to the seating area. Great, it was now time for me to try.
All the guys were very supportive, telling me that I could do it, that everything would be fine. That eased some of my fears, but I was still scared I was going to mess up somehow. I got up, found my ball amongst the others and tried to hold it like Patrick showed me. Patrick, Kraig, Bobby and Jason gave me pointers and instructions on where to stand and how to hold the ball. All of a sudden I had four teachers. I was amazed that they were all in agreement in their suggestions.
They wanted me to practice just swinging the ball. Patrick picked up his ball and stood next to me to show me again. I tried to copy what he did. I pushed the ball out in front of me and let my arm swing behind me. Thunk! The ball was no longer in my hand and was behind me rolling around. I closed my eyes and was mortified. I didn’t hear anyone shout in pain, so I guess there was no one behind me to get hurt. Or maybe they were unconscious and couldn’t yell.
“Oops. I’m sorry.” I turned around and looked at them sheepishly. “I told you…”
Bobby picked up the ball and handed it back to me. “Maybe it’s too heavy?”
Patrick shook his head. “I helped her pick out the weight. It seemed alright. Did it feel heavy?”
I bit my lip. “No.”
Jason wondered, “Maybe the finger holes are too big?”
Patrick watched as I put my fingers in the ball. He inspected the fit. “It looks okay. What do you think Liz?”
I shook my head. “No. The holes weren’t the problem.”
The guys tried to come up with possible reasons I had dropped the ball. Patrick looked at me. I think he could read the chagrin on my face. “Liz, what? What happened?”
“I… I think I…” I knew what happened, it was my fault. “I forgot to hold onto the ball when I swung back.”
The guys all laughed. I could help but laugh with them. “Liz!”
“What?! I told you I’m barely coordinated enough to drive.”
“I thought you were exaggerating. I didn’t think it was true.” Patrick laughed.
“I tried to warn you!” I put the ball down in the ball return. “I’ll just sit and cheer you guys on. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“No, come on. You only tried once. Try again. You’ll get better.”
Jason was supportive as well. “Yeah, you know we’ll all help you. And stay ten feet back.”
I eyed each one of them and cracked a smile. “Okay. Just know that you are entering a hard hat zone and you must enter at your own risk.”
Patrick picked up the ball and placed it in my hands. “We’ll stand clear.”
I went back to the spot they told me to stand at. I could hear them behind me, giving me reminders. Now they weren’t so concerned with the timing of my arm swing and steps. They kept telling me to hold onto the ball. I tried to keep in mind all three. I really focused on the holding the ball part.
I took a deep breath. Don’t drop the ball, don’t drop the ball. I took a step forward. Don’t drop the ball, hold onto the ball. I pushed my arm forward and let it swing back. Hold onto the ball. Don’t drop the ball. I took another couple steps and my arms swung forward. I held onto the ball! Wait, when was I supposed to let go of it?
I heard the guys behind me shout to let go. When I let go, I almost fell face first onto the lane. Thunk! This time the ball fell in front of me. That was progress. Luckily, I c
aught myself before taking the header to the floor. I watched the ball roll diagonally down the lane. It lost most of its little momentum by the time it got to the pins. I knocked down three pins in the left corner. I was so happy to hit something.
The guys cheered as I turned around and walked back to them. I think the others around us thought they were nuts. Cheering for a person who hit just three pins? I’m sure it wasn’t pretty to watch either. That’s okay. I didn’t hurt anyone and I hit some pins. Baby steps. It was the second part of my turn. I tried again. This time I didn’t wait as long to let go of the ball. It went down the lane a little faster. That was good. I hit four pins this time. I was proud of myself.
Emily, Cassie and Tony returned with fries, hot dogs, chicken fingers, nachos and soda. Bobby entered in everyone’s name into the score card machine. On one lane, it was Cassie, Jason, Tony and Bobby. The other lane was me, Patrick, Emily, and Kraig.
The hours flew by so fast. I was having so much fun. I wasn’t good at bowling, but the crew made it okay. The guys kept trying to give me pointers, reminding me of different little things. I tried. I really did. I think they knew that. I loved laughing with people, more specifically, with the crew. I never felt like they were laughing at me, even when my ball went into the gutter, it thumped onto the lane or I dropped it in mid-swing. We all laughed together.
Patrick drove me home from bowling. “You sure you don’t want to hang out with Kraig or Tony?”
Emily, Bobby, Cassie and Jason had other plans. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“I don’t want to leave you by yourself on your first night alone.”
“I know, it’s fine.” I knew he had better things to do. I don’t think he heard me.
He was racked with guilt. “But it’s a debutante ball for Becca’s cousin.”
“I told you. I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Besides find out how many different pills I could OD on?” I teased him. His eyes became intense and bore through me. Yeah, he didn’t think it was funny. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Seriously, it was just a joke.”
He stared at me, glancing at the road just enough to drive. “Liz…”
I smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. Bad joke.”
“Yeah. Don’t joke about that.” He was serious. His attention returned to driving. I think I scared him. I didn’t mean to.
“Okay, I won’t.” I think he was trying to think of ways of getting out of going to the debutante ball. I tried to reassure him. “Remember, my promise?”
He nodded and glanced over at me. “I’m holding you to it.”
“I know. So am I.” I admitted.
“So really, what are you going to do tonight?”
“Practice.” I smiled. I was grateful that he let me start over. “I’ll turn up the volume and sing. I’m actually looking forward to it. So, you need to go have fun tonight and not worry about me.”
“Yeah, fun. Tuxes, suits and a bunch of people I don’t really know. Can’t wait.” Could he be anymore sarcastic?
“Look at it this way. You’ll get to spend the evening with Becca.”
“True. She loves things like this.” There was something about his smile that was distant. Like he was trying to hide how he felt.
“Then you guys have fun. You guys deserve a fun night together.” While I agreed with his sister and didn’t quite get what he saw in her, if she made him happy and he loved her, then that’s all that mattered to me.
When we got to my place, we grabbed our backpacks and he followed me in. Even though it would still be at least an hour before it would get dark, I went through the house and turned on the lights in the living room, kitchen and family room. Patrick asked to use the bathroom. I showed him where it was and went to my bedroom to turn on the lights and television. I grabbed my speakers and went to the family room to get my mp3 player out of my backpack and hook them up.
Patrick returned to the family room, put down his backpack and sat down on the couch. There was something weird about the way he put down his backpack. I swear it sounded weird. He picked up my mp3 player and scrolled through the playlists.
“So, you’re just going to practice tonight?” He avoided any eye contact and kept messing with my player.
“Pretty much. Probably watch TV later.” Why was he acting weird?
He nodded. “Okay. Hey, sing this for me.”
He picked a song. It was an upbeat, hopeful song. I knew it. It was a duet. I guess I was just going to do the female part. I sang along with the song. Now, I couldn’t look at him, but I could feel him watching me.
When I was done with the song, I turned to look at him. “What?!”
“What? Nothing.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just wanted to hear your version of the song.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “You’re up to something.”
He glanced down at his backpack. “Kinda. I worry. Can’t help it.”
“I know.” I was lucky to have him as a friend. I wanted to convince him that I would be okay. “What I can I do or say? I want you to have fun tonight with Becca.”
“Nothing, I guess. Just remember, you can call me whenever.”
“I know. Now, go home and get ready for the party.” I shoved him off the couch. Okay, I tried to. He swayed a little, but didn’t really move.
“Okay, I get the hint.” He laughed. “I’ll talk to you later. Be good.”
“Yeah. Yeah. While, we’re issuing orders. Have fun.” I smiled.