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With the concert this week, choir class was intense. Mrs. Marshall tried to get us through the entire program during the entire class period. Pretty crazy considering the period is an hour long and our program is 90 minutes long. The bell rang midway through one of our songs. Because she made us finish the song before leaving, I had to rush to my next class.
We had a timed writing prompt in English. I guess spending the entire period writing an in-class essay was a way to guarantee students didn’t talk. Of course, we did need the practice. I finished my essay a few minutes before the bell rang and had a chance to review it before the end of class. If I paced myself right, I would always re-read my work before turning it in. I always wanted to be sure that I answered the prompt and didn’t stray too far off topic. The bell rang and Mr. Ludlow collected our essays at the door.
From English, Patrick and I walked together to lunch. He didn’t meet up with Becca and she didn’t meet him at the door. As we turned a corner, I saw Joey. There weren’t many people along this hallway, so it seemed the closest I’d get, or want to get, to a private conversation with him.
“I’m going to talk to Joey.” I told Patrick.
“I’ll be here.” Patrick stopped just a few feet away from where Joey was.
I caught up with Joey. “Hi, Joey.”
Joey turned. He had some scratches on his face and a cut on his lip. “What the hell do you want?” He snapped at me.
I took a step back. I wasn’t prepared for the anger in his voice. I figured he’d be mad at me, but I didn’t expect him to bite my head off. Maybe Patrick was right, this wasn’t a good idea. No, I had to do this. I looked over at Patrick and he started to come over. I shook my head and motioned for him to stay and wait. My voice started to tremble. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Go ahead. Talk.” He stood there, keeping a good distance from me, waiting.
“I wanted to…apologize for what happened at the dance.”
“You mean, going all psychotic on me?” Joey’s voice got loud. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Patrick walk over to us. I didn’t stop him this time. Now, I did want him next to me. I didn’t think that Joey would do anything to hurt me, but it didn’t hurt for Patrick to be there, just in case.
“Yeah. That.” I shook my head apologetically. “You didn’t deserve it.” I didn’t feel like I was being clear. I cleared my throat. “I should have just told you to stop from the beginning, instead of losing it like that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He glared at me, “Yeah, well…” He stopped in the middle of what he was going to say when he saw Patrick.
“I know that I shouldn’t have freaked out like I did, but you should not have done that to me. Don’t you ever…ever touch me like that again.” My voice was firm.
“I don’t get what the big deal was. I was just having fun. I thought you were there to have fun.” He was patronizing. It made me angry that he still didn’t get it.
“I was. But, it wasn’t fun for me and it is a big deal. In case you’re not clear, don’t ever do that to me again. I don’t like it. No matter what you think, I don’t want it. Do you understand?” I was going to get my point across. My tone was even harder and steadfast.
Joey looked at me and blinked slowly. “Yeah.” He spoke softly. Maybe it would sink in with him.
“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. I’m sorry about it, but don’t do it again.” Patrick and I walked away from Joey. We headed toward the table where the rest of the crew hung out. I sighed. “Thanks for being there.”
“Anytime. You did good.” He sounded proud.
“Thanks.” I took a deep breath. “I’m glad that’s over.”
Relief washed over me as we got to the table. I felt like I could get past what happened at the dance. It was nice to be around friends and relax. I quickly ate lunch and laughed at Tony and Kraig’s goofiness. Now, all I had to worry about was the concert this week.
Not that I really was worried about it, just nervous. I was always nervous before a concert, but once everything started, I’d get wrapped up in it and everything was fine. The more I practice, the better I felt. I was glad that I had rehearsals every day after school leading up to the concert. It helped build up the excitement and my self-confidence. Inside, I knew I could sing. I loved to sing. But the more I did it and rehearsed with the choir for the performances, the better I felt. It became more instinctual and natural, than me thinking about it. The minute I thought about what came next, I would be in trouble and get lost. No, practice was definitely good and I didn’t complain about it.
We did a full rehearsal of the entire concert after school. It felt so good to actually sing on stage. It also helped to hear the acoustics of the auditorium. I imagined what it would be like when there was an audience there. I couldn’t help but smile. It’s weird, but even though it’s me on stage, it isn’t. The music and lyrics wrapped some cloak around me and I’m someone else. It’s a great high.
I’d ride that high as long as I could. After rehearsal, I knew Patrick, Jason and Bobby would still be in basketball practice, so I headed toward the gym to watch. I hummed to myself as I turned the corner. Just then, I felt a strong pull on my backpack. I jerked back at the force and spun around. What the hell…
“You little bitch.” There was such hate dripping from those words.
“Becca? What did you call me?” Who the hell did she think she was? What did I ever do to her?
“You heard me, you little bitch. It’s all your fault.” Becca was seething.
“My fault?!” She blamed me for Patrick and her break up. I don’t think so! “It’s not my fault. Maybe you should look in the mirror to see who to blame.”
“Paddy and I were happy until you showed up.” Wow! Was she trying to make me feel guilty? Like I ruined some great love? Yeah, right. She really did live in her own world. I rolled my eyes in disbelief.
“Don’t blame me because Patrick finally saw you for the user you are.” I snapped back at her.
That did it. Becca shoved me with both her hands. I had to step back to keep my balance. I can’t believe she pushed me. No one pushes me. I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. I shoved her back.
My face stung as Becca hit me across the face. I felt every nerve in my body stand at attention. That ‘fight or flight’ instinct kicked in and I was not going to run. Even if I wanted to, it was too late for that. I returned her favor, by slapping her. I was so focused on Becca that I never really noticed her friends beside her. Once I made contact with her face, they jumped in. One of them grabbed my arms behind me.
I struggled to free myself. As I looked behind me at her friend who restrained me, Becca got in a cheap shot. Before I realized it, I felt a sudden and excruciating pain in my face. My eyes immediately filled with tears from the pain. Now, all I wanted to do was free my hands to grab my nose. I doubled over in pain. Blood dripped to the ground.
The pain was everywhere and came from every direction. It was squeezing the life out of me. Every breath I took seemed to come with a new sharp pain. My head moved around like a bobble-head doll. My knees were buckling underneath me. Whoever was holding me in place for Becca let go and I fell to the ground like a rag doll. That didn’t stop Becca or her friends from kicking or hitting me.
I felt like my ears were buzzing. I could vaguely make out what Becca was saying. I just wanted the beating to end. Why didn’t I notice her friends there as backup? How could I have been so stupid? I should have walked away the second I saw Becca. Why did I walk this way? If I didn’t take this shortcut… If I walked to the gym the normal way, she wouldn’t have been able to get me alone like this. I don’t think I can take much more of this. I felt my face against the cold concrete while the world faded into darkness.