“But,” continued Jackie, as though reading my mind, “that’s not to say I have any intention of just abandoning Jill. I want to conduct a search in Palm Springs—specifically the Salton Sea area—but I plan on doing it with appropriate backup.”
Eddie and I were both confused, but Sydney, as usual, caught on fastest. “The Stelle,” she said, referring to the coven of witches she’d joined.
Jackie nodded. “Them and others. Alicia isn’t just your problem—she represents a problem for the entire magical community. And so the entire community will deal with her. I’ll get them together, and we’ll conduct a search, using magical and conventional means. You, meanwhile, will stay somewhere safe—somewhere far away.”
“And I’ll stay with you,” I said, feeling a little bit better knowing that Jill wasn’t being abandoned. It was tough, almost like I had to choose between Sydney and Jill, but it sounded like Jackie wouldn’t be sitting around idly.
“I’ll go with you,” Eddie told Jackie. Then he turned to Sydney and me. “That is . . .” The conflict on his face mirrored what I felt inside.
“Go,” I said. “We’ll be okay. No one knows we’re gone yet. We’ll disappear somewhere and be fine.”
Eddie hesitated again. He hated to have his loyalties torn, but at last he nodded. “As long as you think you’ll be okay. How did you get away without anyone knowing?”
“I’ll tell you some other time,” I said.
I could tell from Sydney’s expression she was interested in that story too. She looked at Jackie instead. “But I want you to call me as soon as you and the other witches have things secure. As soon as you think it’s safe, I want to be a part of the hunt for Jill.”
“Unless we find her first and defeat Alicia,” insisted Eddie.
Sydney gave him a small smile that suggested she didn’t think it’d be that easy. “I would love that.”
The four of us hashed out a few more details before finally parting ways. I could tell it still bothered Eddie to be leaving us, and he was full of advice on how we should lie low and not attract any attention. He also wanted to send for Neil to guard us, but Sydney dismissed that idea, saying it’d be easier for us to just slip away now. We all agreed Neil might be handy in Palm Springs when we closed in on Alicia, so Eddie promised to make that happen.
“Don’t worry,” I assured Eddie, clapping him on the back after a few more of his well-intentioned pieces of caution. “I have no intention of doing anything that’s going to let Alchemists or Moroi know we’ve left Court. You go do your thing, we’ll do ours, and then you can let us know when it’s safe to join you.”
Jackie and Eddie both agreed they didn’t want to know where Sydney and I were going. The less they knew, the less they could accidentally reveal to others. They were both filled with advice on the kinds of places we should go, however, and I finally had to send them both on their way and tell them we’d be fine.
That left Sydney and me in our rental car, suddenly faced with infinite possibilities. It was also the first time we’d truly been alone in a very long time.
“It’s a little overwhelming,” she admitted to me as we sat in the restaurant’s parking lot. “It’s like we could suddenly live out any of our escape plans.”
“Well, not any,” I remarked. “We’re in the middle of the United States and need to be safely lodged somewhere in five hours so that I can, um, meet up with Nina in a dream.”
Sydney’s eyes widened. “What?”
I sighed and started the car. “Let me explain.”
I’d known it would all have to come out . . . I just hadn’t expected it to come out this soon. So we got on a highway headed north, and I briefed Sydney on what had happened in the days we’d been apart. Nina had made good on her word about covering for me. She’d driven me out of Court in her own car, using compulsion on the gate guard so that he wouldn’t remember seeing me. After she’d dropped me off at a small regional airport, she’d promised to go to our rooms in guest housing and stay with my mom. In the twenty-four hours it had taken me to catch connecting flights and drive to Sydney’s location in the Ozarks, I’d heard updates from both Nina and my mom. No one had come looking for me, and Nina had strolled down to the lobby and had a compulsion-filled conversation that convinced the desk attendant she’d seen me leave and come back for a feeding.
“And now I’ve got to uphold my part of the bargain,” I explained to Sydney, once I’d recapped the backstory.
“By engaging in a bunch of spirit use that’s burning her out?” cried Sydney. “Adrian, you told me you’d back off!”
She doesn’t understand, snarled Aunt Tatiana. You did this for her!
I felt my anger rise in response. “It was the only way I could get away from Court!”
“You didn’t have to get away from Court,” Sydney argued. “We were fine. You just needed to stay safe and cover for us.”
“Fine? I saved you from getting sliced up by those blades!”
Sydney crossed her arms over her chest and stared obstinately out the passenger side window. “We don’t know how bad the damage would’ve been, and Ms. Terwilliger and I might have gotten off a spell at the last second. But this . . . this spirit walking with Nina! We do know the kind of damage it can do! You just said she’s in bad shape.”
“My helping her will prevent her from getting worse,” I retorted. “One time isn’t going to hurt me.”
Sydney turned back to me, incredulous. “No! Not one time. Not any time! You can’t do this! I can’t let you!”
Since when does she control you? demanded Aunt Tatiana, raging. Barely married a month, and she’s already dictating your life! You can’t stand for that. Tell her. Tell her that she can’t control you!
I was as worked up as the phantom in my head, and I opened my mouth, ready to snap something harsh back at Sydney. Then, glancing over, I caught sight of her face in the passing glow of another car’s headlights. The concern and love I saw in her features pierced my heart, and like that, the anger went out of me.
She’s deceiving you, insisted Aunt Tatiana.
No, I replied back. She just cares about me. She wants to help.
To Sydney, I said, “Okay. You’re right. It’s not a good idea. I won’t engage in the dream. I’ll just find . . . some way . . . to explain things to Nina.” I felt guilty going back on my word to Nina, but I had greater vows binding me to Sydney. When I saw the relief those words brought to her, I knew I’d made the right choice.
Nina isn’t going to like this, hissed Aunt Tatiana.
I’m not married to Nina, I retorted.
Sydney moved her hand over mine. “Thank you, Adrian. I know it’s not easy. I know you just want to help.”
“I do,” I admitted, still conflicted by the decision. The instinct to help Nina was so, so strong. “But there’s a cost to it. My sanity’s not worth it.” I squeezed Sydney’s hand back. “Our relationship’s not worth it.”
I told you, Nina isn’t going to like this, warned Aunt Tatiana again. You can pat yourself on the back for protecting your sanity, but hers is long gone. She’s not just going to let you walk out of your deal.
I’ll deal with Nina. For now, it’s worth it just to have some alone time with Sydney and not be fighting for a change.
It was true. Sydney and I hadn’t had anything even remotely close to this kind of freedom in a long time, and even if we were stuck in the middle of the United States instead of some tropical island, the options before us suddenly seemed limitless. After mulling over some internet maps, we finally made our way to Council Bluffs, Iowa. It didn’t exactly scream excitement, but that was kind of the point. Most importantly, it was far away from the Alchemists in St. Louis and even farther from Palm Springs, where Alicia was hoping Sydney would show up. We debated checking into a large chain hotel and finally settled on a small country inn just out
side the town. We pulled up to it late in the morning and were greeted by a sign proclaiming, WELCOME TO THE BLACK SQUIRREL LODGE.
“Oh no,” groaned Sydney. “Please don’t let this be like that place in Los Angeles. I don’t know if I can handle a room full of squirrel decor.”
I grinned, thinking back to the time Sydney and I had investigated another bed-and-breakfast that had taken rabbits to an unprecedented height in tacky decorating. “Hey, come on, after everything else we’ve been through, that’d be the least of our worries.”
But when we stepped inside, we were pleasantly surprised to see everything was actually pretty tastefully decorated in neutral colors and modern decor. No quilts with squirrels on them or squirrel-shaped wicker sculptures in sight. The innkeeper, though surprised to see guests this early in the day, was happy to welcome us and get us into a room.
“What’s with the inn’s name?” I asked as I paid for the room.
The innkeeper, a kindly middle-aged woman, beamed. “Oh, that’s in honor of Cashew.”
“Cashew?” asked Sydney.
The innkeeper nodded. “Our resident black squirrel. I’d call him our pet . . . but, well, he’s so much more than that.”
I peered farther into the lobby. “Does he have a cage here or something?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “That’d be cruel. Also illegal. He’s . . .” She shrugged and gestured vaguely with her hand. “Well, he’s around somewhere.”
“What do you mean ‘around’?” asked Sydney uneasily. “Like, outside?”
“Oh, no,” said the innkeeper. “Poor thing wouldn’t know what to do out there.”
Sydney’s eyes widened. “Wait. If he’s not outside, then does that mean—”
“Let’s get you two into your room,” said the innkeeper sunnily. “I’ve got your key right here.”
The room she took us to had a cozy sitting area and access to a private porch, as well as a big, plush bed. After an uncomfortable day of travel, I was looking forward to catching up on sleep and finally getting some real rest. Before I could throw myself on the mattress, however, I knew I needed to get in touch with Nina and tell her the deal was off. When Sydney said she wanted to take a shower, I saw the perfect opportunity. It was just around the time Nina would be asleep, waiting for me to contact her through a spirit dream. I didn’t have to be asleep for that, simply in a meditative state.
I sat on the bed, calming myself and closing my eyes, calling on just enough spirit to reach across the dream world to Nina. My tranquil state was shattered, however, when I heard a scream from the bathroom. I opened my eyes and tore across the room, flinging the door open.
“Adrian, look out!” cried Sydney.
A small, furry black form leapt off the counter, landing right on my chest. Out of instinct, I swatted it off. It landed on the floor and went scurrying off across the room. Sydney, wrapped in a towel, stepped out and stood beside me.
“I think it went under the bed,” she said.
“That thing better not get on me again,” I muttered, walking gingerly over to the edge of the bed.
You’ve faced much worse than this, Aunt Tatiana said scornfully. Stop being foolish.
Sydney followed, and when I lifted a corner of the bed frame up, she waved her hand in what I recognized as a gesture for casting spells. Seconds later, I felt a breeze stir and blow under the bed. Moments later, the squirrel—Cashew, I presumed—came tearing out and began frantically racing around the room. Sydney, courageously overcoming her earlier shock, darted over to the door that led to the porch and opened it. After a few circuits of the room, the squirrel noticed and ran out. Sydney slammed the door shut behind him, and for several seconds, we both just stood there.
“Why,” she asked at last, “can’t anything ever just be simple for us?”
“Look at you,” I teased, walking over to her. “Fearlessly vanquishing Cashew the Deranged Squirrel.”
“I wasn’t so fearless initially,” she admitted. “Not when he jumped out at me when I was about to get in the shower.”
I pulled her to me, suddenly very aware of how little she was wearing and how gorgeous she looked—even after a close call with a squirrel. “Hey, you were braver than me. And look, you did it all without losing that towel.”
Amusement lit Sydney’s features as she let me draw her near. She patted the top of the towel, where it wrapped around her chest. “It’s all in how you fold it,” she said practically. “Do it the right way, and nothing will get it off.”
“Challenge accepted,” I murmured, bringing my lips down to hers.
She melted into me, warm and vibrant and smelling exquisitely of Sydney. I pressed her against the wall, bringing us closer together, and she wrapped a leg around my hip. I ran a hand over the smooth, perfect skin of her thigh, and it hit me that we were truly alone for the first time in a very long while. My mother wasn’t outside our door. We didn’t have an entire Court of Moroi surrounding us, waiting for us to step outside, or a team of Alchemists hunting us beyond its walls. We’d lost ourselves. We’d made an escape plan. No one knew we were here. If we’d wanted to, the power to simply disappear was right before us.
I think that knowledge, that we were truly and really free for the first time, sparked an extra intensity between us. There was a heat in Sydney as she kissed me back and entwined her fingers in my hair that reminded me of our early days together. I lifted her easily in my arms and carried her over to the bed, amazed at how the strongest women I knew could feel so light in my arms.
I was also amazed at how difficult that towel was to get off.
Sydney laughed softly, trailing her fingers along my cheek. The sunlight peeping in around the window blinds made her look like she was made of gold. “Uh-oh,” she said. “Are you going to fail in your challenge?”
I finally untwisted the fold and removed the towel, tossing it as far from the bed as I could. “No way,” I said, as always in awe of her body. “It takes a lot more than that to keep me away. You’ll have to try harder next time.”
She helped pull my shirt off over my head. “Now why would I want to do that?”
We kissed again, and as we became entangled in each other, I found all the worries that had chased me in the rest of the world disappearing. Nina, the Alchemists, Alicia . . . even Aunt Tatiana. There was no one in the world but Sydney and me just then, and the only things that mattered were our love and the way I felt in her arms. It was a joy that went beyond just physical pleasure, though I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t plenty of that.
Afterward, sweaty and exhausted, we curled up with each other in a much calmer way. She rested her head on my chest, and I kissed her forehead contentedly. I decided then that the best thing that could happen would be if Jackie called and told us Alicia had been dealt with, Jill was free, and Sydney and I could live happily ever after in Council Bluffs. I drifted off to sleep, happily dreaming about that fantasy.
It was short-lived, however, as I was soon pulled into a very different kind of dream. Aunt Tatiana’s warning came back to me, about how Nina wasn’t going to just let me walk out on our deal.
“Where have you been?” exclaimed Nina. The farmhouse in Wisconsin materialized before us. “You were supposed to find me.”
I stared around, trying to gather my bearings at this unexpected change in venue. “I, uh, sorry. I got distracted in the real world and fell asleep.”
“Well, no problem,” she said briskly. “I’ll just lead the dream. Remember, you’ve got to wield more spirit this time.”
My eyes widened. “No, Nina—wait—”
But Nina wasn’t listening. She was too caught up in her obsessive mission of finding Olive. I felt Nina call on spirit and bring another person to join us. Moments later, Olive began materializing in the room before us, as shadowy and cloaked as before. And just like before, panic seized Olive,
and she began to wrest the dream away from Nina. This time, knowing what to expect, I was more aware of it happening.
Since that last attempt, I’d looked into dream walking as much as I could, though there really wasn’t much to go off of. I’d even chatted with Sonya, and we’d decided it came down to Olive’s will. If her motivation was great enough, she could overcome the spirit user who was controlling the dream she was in. And clearly, that was happening now.
You’re a stronger dream walker than Nina, Aunt Tatiana reminded me. The strongest of any dream walker.
I know, I told her. And as I saw the setting dissolving, I made an impulse decision, going against what I told Sydney I’d do.
“Let go of the dream,” I said to Nina.
Understanding my intent, she complied. I was ready, channeling spirit, and I swooped in to become the dream’s new master. The farmhouse, which had been crumbling, began to rematerialize. Likewise, Olive also began solidifying.
“No!” she cried.
Nina hurried toward her. “Olive! I’ve missed you so much!”
Olive’s face was filled with fear, and she backed up quickly, wrapping the cloak more tightly around her. “No . . . no. Please leave me alone!”
And like that, I started to feel the dream slipping away from me. Despite my hold, Olive’s will was still winning out. Cracks appeared in the wooden walls. The wicker furniture crumbled to dust. The windows filled with sunlight went dark. I called on spirit’s power, pulling more magic through me in order to fight back against Olive’s usurpation. Spirit burned within my body, but she’d already changed the face of the dream. The house was gone, replaced by what looked like a hotel parking lot. A flickering streetlamp cast weak light down on us, eerily supplemented by the red glow of a neon sign hanging in the lobby’s window. What normally might have been busy streets surrounded us, but no traffic flowed on them in this dream. Eerie silence dominated until I spoke.