FALL IN UPSTATE NEW YORK can be glorious. Some years the weather is crisp and dry, and the trees dazzle with their rich colors. The sky is vast and blue. The smell of dead leaves and fresh pine is invigorating. Other years, like this one, the weather is dreary, cold, and wet. The sky is leaden with clouds that churn overhead and drop heavy rains that ruin every single weekend. That was precisely the crappy weather pattern that had been going on for the past month. I moped in the window at Zen. Stupid rain! Domino’s nose was leaving condensation against the glass. She didn’t like the rain either. We were both feeling cooped up and restless.
“Here sweetie, try this. It’ll make you feel better.” Dani’s mom handed me a cup of tea and flashed a dreamy smile at the rain.
“Thanks, Ms. Taylor.” I blew on the cup and glowered out the window again.
“You’re so impatient, Mica. The earth needs the kiss of the rain, just as a young woman needs the kiss of her man. Would you begrudge the Mother her romance?”
An image of my man kissing me popped into my head, and I blushed. Okay, so Mother Earth could have her way with the rain. She could wrap herself in a blanket of snow if she wanted to. I just wanted to get outside and do something! I was tired of being stuck inside. I hadn’t seen Sean at all this week. He was supposedly in Ireland at a funeral. He was going to miss a week of classes, but I guess that doesn’t matter if you’re a secret agent man. I wished I was with him. He described Ireland with such wistfulness that it was clear that he loved it there. I was a little jealous that it held so much of his love. I wanted a little of it too. I stood there gazing out through the foggy glass until Dani finally showed.
As usual, she appeared without a sound. I jumped and laughed at myself. I couldn’t help looking down to make sure she had feet. Yep, shoes too. I had no idea how a person could be so quiet. It was a bit creepy really. I told her that, and she just laughed and bent down to hug Domino.
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since I almost died in that house; a year since I’d met Sean. So much has happened since then. I wasn’t taking anything for granted now. I was more in love with Sean than ever, but tried to crush the curiosity that I felt about him and his friends. I was very afraid that I would push them away if I got too nosy. We settled into a routine during the rainy fall months. On the days we weren’t working or in class, Sean came over to hang out. I was surprised to find out that he liked to run too. We started running even in the rain. Some days Sean came to the gym to watch me practice sparring. He got in the ring with me a few times. I was so proud of him. He was pretty amazing to watch. He moved with a fluid grace that I would never match. He was always about the business of fighting when we were in the ring. He put on his soldier face and usually kicked my butt. I always learned something new, though. Little by little, he shared more of himself and I fell even harder.
Dani interrupted my daydreams by reminding me that we had exams tomorrow, and she had to study. Yeah, yeah. I can take a hint. I had my own tests to worry about, so I braved the rain and hunkered down in my apartment to read my English notes. Domino lay stretched out against my back snoring softly. Her furry body was like a furnace, and I promptly dozed off. A sharp tap on the window woke me up a little later. Was it Sean? I looked through the peephole and opened the door. Dec pushed his way inside.
“Are you here alone?” He stalked to the bathroom to check. When he was satisfied I was alone, he came back to the bedroom, eyes blazing, entire body coiled like a spring.
A trickle of fear crawled down my spine.
“What’s the matter, Dec? Did something happen? Where’s Sean?” I reached out to take his hand, and he jerked away.
“Don’t touch me! I’m not safe right now.” He was vibrating with anger and looked like the soldier I sensed he was.
I put my hands out in a gesture of peace and tried again. “Dec, what’s going on? You’re here, so you must want to tell me something, so tell me; what’s wrong? I only have so much patience. You know that.” I made a weak attempt to lighten the atmosphere. He glowered at me. I took a step back.
Pacing back and forth, he groaned, “I’m not supposed to be here. Killian will destroy me when he finds out what we’re doing. But I promised Sean I’d bring you to him. You have to come with me now. He’s been . . . shot.”
“What? Shot? What the hell happened? Is he in the hospital? Where is he?” I had a million questions.
Dec held up his hand, and the sound of my voice stopped. My lips were still moving, but there was no sound coming out. I clamped my lips together and glared. He glared back. I took the hint and grabbed my backpack. We were in the driveway when I realized he didn’t have a car.
“We’re taking your car. I’ll drive,” he announced.
“Fine.” I had audio again. “Oh, I can talk now? Would you mind telling me what you just did to me?”
With an expression of irritated amusement, he muttered, “Not on your life.”
He drove without speaking until we were out of town and on our way into the countryside. I knew the area but hadn’t been out this way in a long time. Was this where they lived? It was already dark, and the wind was gusting hard. Trees bent against it, casting ominous shadows in the sketchy moonlight. The sense of impending doom ratcheted my imagination into overdrive. I wrapped my arms around my chest to stop my shivering. I tried to ask a few more questions, but he wasn’t in a chatty mood.
“Just chill. You’ll see when we get there.”
That was really not reassuring. In fact, it freaked me out. I imagined Sean bleeding out on a mattress in a basement or lying on the kitchen table letting Killian stitch him up with kite string. Or worse, Sean dying just before I got to him. I imagined his scary eyes blazing into mine with a last declaration of love, just before being extinguished like a match in the wind. I didn’t realize I was crying until Dec pressed a tissue into my hand. I wiped at my face and sniffed.
God, please let him be okay.
“We’re here. I’m going to warn you before we go inside. It looks bad. I don’t want to freak you out, but you have to be prepared. You won’t help him by throwing up or passing out. Can you handle this?”
“Dec, I just want to see him. Please, can we go inside?” I was forcing myself to stay calm. I could handle anything as long as I got to see Sean. The anticipation was killing me.
We were parked in front of a small farmhouse in a clearing surrounded by woods. The house looked fairly new and had a wraparound covered porch. He led me up the steps to the front door. I heard music playing in the back of the house and followed the sound. As I rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, Dec stepped out of a room and faced me. I ignored the obvious question and hurried inside. I don’t know what I expected to see, but it wasn’t what I saw then. I stopped dead in my tracks, and my mouth dropped open.
Sean was lying naked across the bed. Someone had draped a sheet over his waist, but the rest of his body was bare. There was a blackened patch of puckered skin across most of his stomach and chest. His skin was raw and bloody in places, and burned black in others. The wound looked like someone torched him with a flamethrower. It was a burn, not a gunshot wound. The room smelled like barbequed meat, and my stomach heaved in protest. Black spots danced behind my eyes. Willing myself to calm down, I sucked in a deep breath and forced my stomach to stay put. Dec was right. Puking wasn’t helpful. Neither was passing out at the foot of the bed. Sean was so still it broke my heart. What the hell happened to him?
Dec wrapped his arm around my waist, giving me a squeeze of reassurance. He bent to whisper in Sean’s ear before saying, “It’s okay. You can sit with him. He wants you here.”
“Can I touch him?”
“Go ahead. It might help. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”
I knelt beside Sean, carefully covering his hand with mine. I was a little wary of surprising him so I moved slowly. His fingers curled to thread through mine and he squeezed gently. His eyes didn’t open but fluttered weakly.
/> Stroking his fingers, I murmured, “I’m here, Sean. I’m right here.”
I don’t know how much time passed while we sat there in the little bedroom. He looked so vulnerable lying there; fragile, broken. His eyes were closed in sleep, but his rest wasn’t peaceful. He seemed to be dreaming, eyes racing beneath the silky skin of their lids, fingers twitching. His jaw was clenched in pain. A soft groan rumbled in his chest.
“What beast chases you, Sean? Do you have no light to chase away the shadows?”
Trying to comfort him, I stroked his arm, murmuring softly, but he still writhed in agony. I blinked back tears of sympathy and traced the curve of muscle over his shoulder. The skin was smooth and even, soft to the touch, kissable. I dropped a gentle kiss on a small freckle just below his collarbone. He was achingly beautiful, and someone had damaged him so viciously. Who could do such a thing? What kind of animal would burn someone? My stomach tightened in a burst of anger. I wanted to rip that animal’s head off. A low moan drew my attention back to his face. I decided to risk getting singed and kissed his lips. When nothing bad happened, I rested my lips against his and just breathed . . . in and out . . . in and out. I willed my strength to flow into him as if I could give my life to him.
As the night wore on, I sang to him to let him know I was still there. “Chasing Cars” was stuck in my head—I sang it off key and under my breath—I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
I cried until my eyes were dry. Finally exhausted, I laid my head against his good side and prayed for him.
God, surely he can’t die? You’ve brought him to save me. He’s pulled me back from the brink of darkness and brought me into the light. He’s important. I feel it.
Aloud, I said simply, “I love him, God. Please don’t let him die.”
Chapter 10: Miraculous Recovery