I blinked, aghast. “What?”
“Mercedes…” he gripped my shoulders. His face was awash with a new torment and self-loathing that made me want to break down and weep for him. “I am sorry. So very, very sorry. I was blind and foolish and arrogant…”
“Shadow—”
Everything spilled out of him. How Xavier had been watching me for years, how he had planned to bind me to Shadow. How he planned to torture me to death in order to drive Shadow insane…
“That day…on the way home…” I whispered, realization dawning on me. “That man who told me to go to sleep. He carried me to where you were…I heard someone calling for help in the alley leading to where you were…”
“I should have known.” Shadow ducked his head, and his shoulders shook as if he were sobbing. “I underestimated him. After what I did…I should have known he was planning a revenge like no other.”
I touched his cheek and found it was wet. “Shadow…”
He took my hands and his grief-stricken eyes met mine. “I have no right to beg your forgiveness, but if there is any way for me to free you from this place, I swear to you I will find it.”
“But you won’t have to,” I insisted. “Listen to me, my love, everything’s going to be okay. I—”
The door burst open and three armored guards entered. Shadow’s fangs emerged and a hiss of rage escaped his throat.
“Get behind me,” he snarled.
Before I could move, one of the guards grabbed me, yanking me up. I struggled and kicked, but to no avail. The guard’s grip was as cold and unbreakable as frozen iron. Shadow growled and made to attack my captor, but he was easily held off.
An icy hand caressed my cheek.
“Shall we go, my dear?”
“Leave her alone, you bastard.” Shadow struggled in the other guard’s grip, his movements feeble but desperate. “Leave her alone!”
“But she won’t be alone, Harijan,” Xavier said. “She will have hundreds of infant Evanescence for company as she dies.”
I had no idea what he meant by that, but the horror on Shadow’s face told me I would rather kill myself than go through what Xavier had planned for me.
They dragged me away. Shadow’s hoarse screams echoed behind me.
Don’t be afraid, I thought, wishing to God that I could send him my thoughts. Everything will be all right. I promise.
God, I love you so much.
***
Shadow
They took her away. Along with my heart, my soul, my light. Everything.
I sank to the floor, already feeling my sanity begin to slip away. Xavier would not make me watch Mercedes be thrown into the Lazarus Pit. It was so much more painful to leave me to wonder when and how she would suffer the worst death imaginable.
Mercedes. My love.
I closed my eyes and allowed the abyss of despair to consume me.
***
Mercedes
Lulu would make sure my last letters went to my friends and family. They hadn’t been written in the style of suicide notes, but when writing them, I made certain they contained a proper air of goodbye.
But they would be all right. And Shadow would be all right. The message was spreading. I may die, but I knew it would spread fast enough to save those I loved. All thanks to Brandon and Morgan.
Brandon and Morgan. They were probably dead, but they would not die in vain.
“Have my transport ready,” Xavier commanded his guards. “We will be leaving in a couple of hours. In the meantime, leave me.”
“Yes, lord.”
Xavier took me to a room that was lavishly decorated. When the door closed behind me, I felt a thrill of dread that had nothing to do with my upcoming demise.
“I know all about you, Mercedes Strand,” Xavier whispered. His back was to me as he began to remove his cloak. “You are an altruistic soul, though you have never wanted for anything throughout your entire life. Is there any particular reason you devote most of your time helping abused females?”
I swallowed, knowing I had to play his game. Maybe there was a chance I could live, but I had to be cautious.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I honestly don’t. I was never abused by a boyfriend or a male relative, so I could never understand what they go through…but my parents raised me to be strong. They made sure I had self-confidence and strength so that I would never let a man hurt me or make me feel worthless.”
“Shadow never hurt you?”
“He did,” I said. “I don’t condone him for hurting me, but I do forgive him. He apologized and promised to never hurt me again, and he’s kept his word.”
Xavier turned around to look at me.
“Do you know why I loathe you so, Mercedes?”
He tone was polite and friendly. I shivered and shook my head.
“I have had many beloveds, and every single one of them knew that their purpose was to serve me. To do exactly as I ordered without question. But some of them required a certain amount of…shall we say…persuasion.”
He turned around, and I saw the beautiful face of an angel and the eyes of a devil.
“You have just informed me that you are one who requires persuasion.”
He grabbed me by the throat, choking me. His now glowing blue eyes blazed with lust.
“Females do not exist for pleasure or reproduction,” he hissed. “They exist solely to submit. Like Shadow, I will rip away your delusions before I grant you death.”
His fangs exploded in his mouth and he bit his wrist, forced me to drink his blood, and then proceeded to feast on mine.
It wasn’t the pain slash pleasure slash comfort I experienced with Shadow. This was simply pain. Horrible, violating pain.
Like all the other times, fighting him was useless. I grew steadily weaker as he drank my blood, and I didn’t even feel his hands ripping open my jacket.
Then he stopped. Or rather, he was pulled off me. I blacked out before I could get to see my rescuer.
“…des…cedes…Mercedes…Mercedes!”
“Hnnnn,” I groaned.
“Here. Drink.”
Something solid and wet pressed against my mouth. It only took a few mouthfuls to regain most of my strength. When the world became clearer, the face of my rescuer materialized in front of me. I gasped in shock and relief.
“Brandon!”
“The one and only.” His grin was tired and pained, but at least he was still alive.
“I thought you were dead,” I said as he helped me up.
“I came close,” he replied darkly. “Morgan too. One of them managed to get you while we were fighting. We would have died, but Blackhole saved us.”
“Who’s Blackhole?”
“Shadow would be better at explaining than me.” Brandon took my hand. “Come on.”
“What happened to Xavier? Where…?” I trailed off when we went outside the room. It was so quiet I could hear a pin drop. “Where is everyone?”
Brandon smiled at me. The expression contained both awe and deep satisfaction. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about any of Xavier’s guards. But the prisoners are still here, including Shadow.”
My heart started to beat frantically, and I took off in the opposite direction. Brandon called after me, but I ignored him. I knew where Shadow was in this hellhole. I had memorized the paths I had been lead down.
Shadow…Shadow…hold on.
***
Shadow
I could feel myself slipping away. I could feel the madness clawing at my mind, attempting to purge me of everything that I was. It would not take long. Soon I would be a shell of my former self. The guards made sure to inject me with more garlic so I would have absolutely no hope of moving. I could only lie helpless, unable to save Mercedes. Unable to do anything.
You are incredibly clever, Ancient One, I thought. You granted me a dream I thought I could hold onto. The most beautiful dream, the purest. And just when I believed that dream would c
ome true…
…you took it away from me.
Mercedes. Mercedes. The angel of my dreams. You are the light in my darkness. A light I allowed to be extinguished. I will not beg for a forgiveness I do not deserve. This is my punishment for failing you and I will embrace it. I will cling to life, I will allow myself to feel every bit of this agony.
I once heard a human saying that to suffer is to be alone. It was true because we are not the same. We all react to pain differently. I would never pretend that the pain of my fellow Untouchables was the same as my own. I would never pretend that I could imagine Mercedes’ terror and the unspeakable agony she would feel when she was thrown into the Lazarus Pit.
I would never know her pain. But I would know pain before I died.
Goodbye, my love. May Lord Order give you light in the Kingdom of Duality.
Yes, Lord Order would give her light. Like the light I was hallucinating now. The madness was consuming me. I could even see Mercedes quite clearly in the light. Was Lord Order granting me a sliver of mercy before I was lost in Chaos’s darkness?
“Shadow! Shadow!”
She ran towards me, tears raining from her beautiful eyes. She fell to her knees, and her hands touched me. Warm. Solid.
“Shadow, Shadow,” she chanted over and over, her hands desperately holding my face. “Brandon?!”
“He needs blood,” a familiar voice said. “Human blood.”
“Shadow.” The angel of my dreams pressed her wrist against my mouth. It was wet. “Drink. You have to drink.”
For the next minute, my hunger and instincts dominated me. I drank greedily and without thought.
“Take whatever you need.” A soft, loving whisper. “I give it to you freely.”
Freely. She was giving to me freely without any thought for herself. That alone gave me the strength to stop feeding before I gravely weakened her. I pulled my mouth away and met her eyes.
Her dazzling smile shone through her tear-stained face. “I’m here, Shadow.”
Her blood was on my lips. Her beautiful, kind face was right in front of me. Her warm, human skin was beneath my trembling fingertips when I raised my hand to her face.
“My love,” I whispered.
“Yes,” Mercedes sobbed, pressing my hand hard against her cheek. “Yes, I’m here. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I could feel the madness fading as I continued to stare at her. When my vision cleared enough to see the light of love in Mercedes’ eyes, I regained every last bit of myself.
And I remembered.
“Xavier,” I hissed, drawing Mercedes up with me. “Mercedes, where is he? How did you escape from him? Where are his guards?”
“I don’t think we’ll need to worry about Xavier anymore.”
I looked past Mercedes and saw Brandon standing in the corner of the cell. He looked as if he had been through a lot over the past few days, but there was also something different about him.
“But all the same, I think we should get out of here,” he continued.
“Yes,” I said and lifted Mercedes in my arms. I did not know what Brandon meant about not having to worry about Xavier, but all I was concerned with was getting Mercedes out of here. Everything else could wait.
***
Mercedes
Though it was quite undignified to be carried around so often, I knew better than to insist on walking on my own two feet. For one thing, I was a little tipsy from blood loss. For another, we were still in Xavier’s lair, guards or no guards. We needed to get away as quickly as we could.
Shadow held me tightly as he sped through the streets and leaped over buildings. I clung to his neck, tightening my own grip on him as tears of relief and love threatened to spill once again.
“It’s safe to go home, Shadow,” Brandon called as he matched his fellow vampire’s pace. “Turn on your computer. Watch the latest news. You may see something that will greatly interest you.” He sped on up ahead.
“Where are you going?” Shadow demanded.
“Some unfinished business needs to be taken care of. Then I need to return to Morgan.”
“Brandon!” I yelled. When he turned his head back, I smiled at him. “Thank you so much.”
Brandon smiled, saluted, and disappeared behind a building.
“He’s the reason we’re both alive right now,” I whispered.
“I know,” Shadow said in a low voice. After a pause, he added, “He has been a very good friend to me for decades. Though I do not know what I have ever done to be worthy of that friendship.”
“You have so much more worth than you know, Shadow,” I said. “I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a long time.”
He didn’t reply, though he looked as if his insides were paining him. When we reached his apartment, he set me on my feet and took a step away from me. Surprised, I reached for him, but he backed away.
“What is wrong with you?” he demanded in an agonized plea. “Why do you not hate me? Do you know what nearly happened to you because of me!?”
“What nearly happened to me is no one’s fault but Xavier’s!” I shouted so loudly that he blinked. “If I blame you for what Xavier did, then I may as well be blaming you for actually having the nerve to be strong in the face of adversity!”
“What are you talking about?”
I swallowed and dropped my eyes. “When Xavier…when he took me away…he took me to his rooms and he tried to…” my skin crawled, and I hugged my elbows, desperate to rid myself of the memory of what he had nearly done.
“What!?” Shadow roared. He crossed the distance between us and grasped my arms. “Did he--!?”
“No,” I said quickly, forcing myself to look at him again. “No,” I repeated more quietly. Shadow’s grip on me loosened, but the fires of hatred and vengeance blazed brightly in his crystal blue eyes. But this time, his anger only enhanced his beauty, stealing my breath. He looked like an angel of death, but there was sheer protectiveness radiating from him. All for me.
“He didn’t,” I continued. “But what he said to me before he tried to…Shadow, people like Xavier thrive on pain, they thrive on the weakness of others. Nothing gives them more pleasure than to strip their victims of their self-respect and sense of worth, to see the light of life fade from their eyes. But you didn’t break, you kept on fighting no matter how bad it got. Because…” I put my hand over his heart. “…you have hope, Shadow. You have faith. Not many could hold onto that when faced with such oppression, but you did.” I reached up to touch his face. “You are incredibly strong, Shadow. Don’t ever be ashamed of being strong.”
When I fell silent his face opened up, and I saw him. All of him. All his pain, all his despair, all his shame, all his hope. The intensity of everything this man had gone through brought tears to my eyes.
“What are you?” Shadow whispered as he tenderly held my face. He sounded like a lost soul who had finally found a bright star in the middle of a dark forest. “What are you?”
“I’m Mercedes,” I said. My voice choked as my tears flowed freely. “And I love you.”
His eyes bled to black. I saw a hint of moisture gather in them before he pulled me against him and kissed me hard. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned the kiss with everything I had. When we broke apart, he began to brush my tears away with such tenderness that it made me cry all over again.
“We…we should do as Brandon said.” I took a deep breath, struggling to regain control of my emotions. “I think he’s right. I think we won’t ever have to worry about Xavier again.”
Shadow’s face hardened. “Let us find out first.”
***
Brandon
“Your argument is very bold and compelling, Harijan.”
“It is the truth, Your Majesty,” I replied as evenly as I could.
“And why should I believe you?”
“In my experience, Your Majesty, the more unusual a story is, the more likely it is to be true. This one is true
. If you wish me to swear an oath to the Brothers of Duality, I will do so without hesitation.”
“Did you see her gather the evidence of the unspeakable crime Xavier committed?”
“I did not.”
I heard a faint rustle of movement, but kept my eyes on the polished black floor.
“High Priest Aidan?”
A soft, wise voice responded.
“The human must be judged before Xavier is punished. If she has done what Harijan Brandon claims, then there is a chance that the Brothers of Duality favor her, and she cannot be ignored.”
“Bring her before us, Harijan Brandon.”
“As you wish, Your Majesty. High Priest.”
***
Shadow
I swore to Mercedes I would never underestimate her again. All the same, I had difficulty comprehending what the vampire authorities were broadcasting.
The elite lord Xavier has been arrested in light of new evidence in the murder of High Priest Abraham.
Scheduled for execution.
Will be condemned to the Lazarus Pit.
“That’s justice for you,” Mercedes whispered.
“I could not agree more,” I growled.
She sighed and stared at her lap. “Well at least now I know who saved me from him. A vampire police officer must have pulled him off me and carried him away.”
My gums itched in response to the rage I felt when I imagined what that sadistic bastard had nearly done to her. But the sight of Mercedes, healthy, whole, beautiful, and sitting right next to me helped to quell my anger.
I kissed her and pressed our foreheads together.
“I should have told you this before he carried you away,” I whispered. “Even though it is one of the many things I have no right to say to you, or feel for you…I love you.”
“I know,” she whispered. “So, what now?”
It was a question I had yet to contemplate. But I already knew the answer I would give.
“I have no desire to let you go. However, you may want to reconsider.”
She pulled back in shock. “Why? What do you--?” her face fell in realization. “Oh,” she said in a small voice, dropping her eyes. “I know. I’m just a human and you’re—”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, and she jerked her head up at my deadly tone of voice. “You are a human. A human who did what I could not. You found a way to defeat one of the most powerful, ruthless elites in vampire history. You did it, not me, not anyone else. You fought with your intelligence, which is a greater weapon than any sword could ever hope to be. And your humanity is one of reasons why I love you. You are pure and selfless, Mercedes. You give without any thought of personal reward. Your humanity is your strength. Do not ever be ashamed of being strong.”