Felix looked off to the side. He could see the wooden coffee table with a half full cup of mocha iced tea, the way his mother liked it. Then there was the bookshelf filled with Colbie’s academic books with a few DC comics of his in between them.
“Felix. . !”
“I got into this fight at school, okay?!”
He heard his sister’s throat constrict, making a choking sound as Felix closed his eyes and felt the weight of his sister’s gentle hands leave his shoulders as she moved over to the couch and sat down on the sandy tan cushions.
“A fight?! Felix. . . How could you possibly have done something like that?! It’s not like you! How are you going to explain this to Mom?”
Felix opened his eyes, looking into his sister’s. Fear was held in them. That wasn’t what he expected.
“I-I don’t want to say anything to Mom, okay? I just. . .don’t want to.” Felix rationalized, staring at Colbie’s grey levis, the curtains draped on the ground, anywhere but his sister’s glassy beryl stare he felt on his face.
“Felix.” Colbie sighed, Felix watching her arm as it snaked onto the coffee table, clutching the other. “I know this isn’t like you. Did you get in a fight or did. . .” Colbie paused, biting her lip and staring a Felix with newfound concern. Felix shut his eyes.
She knew.
“Someone beat you up. . .” Colbie concluded in a hushed whisper, her hands going to her mouth in surprise of what she had said.
Felix looked up into his sister’s fearful eyes of what his answer could and would be and slowly nodded, his eyes trailing back to the wood floor in shame and humiliation.
“Fe. . .lix.” Colbie croaked.
Felix turned towards his sister’s voice but wouldn’t look at her.
“Where are you hurt?”
Felix’s eyes scrunched close as he reluctantly lifted up his shirt front and displayed his canvas of black and blues.
“Felix.” Colbie wheezed, her hand falling from her face in shock. “Who-”
“Lots of people.” Felix gasped, the realization that Colbie would definitely tell his mother eating at his mind. Tugging his shirt down and standing up Felix repeated, “Lots of people.” Felix hung his head as he bolted up the steps, his footsteps booming gunshots in the silence, slamming his door shut for quiet solitude.
“. . .When life sucks, eat a buncha rainbow popsicles.”
Felix surveyed his room tearfully, trying to stay optimistic but overall failing.
“But I don’t have any rainbow popsicles. . .”
Felix sighed, flopping on his bed and watching quietly as the floor became molten lava, lapping at his dangling heels.
“HEY!”
Felix blinked and looked towards his window.
“Theo?”
Felix cried out as the ladder underneath the poor girl wobbled.
“For the love of all that is holy and great, what are you doing Theo!” Felix demanded an answer as he unlatched the window’s lock.
Theodora slipped in through the window, surveying him with an erratic look.
“Oh. That.” Felix said sheepishly, rubbing one of his arms. “Look, I-”
“Stop.”
Felix’s eyes opened wide in surprise as Theo wrapped him in a hug.
“Don’t. . .do things like that.” a muffled voice sighed from the fabric of Felix’s shirt.
Felix grimaced as he thought about what Theodora would have reacted to him running away and not coming back. Hysteric, worried, even scared.
But that’s all he had been making people feel today. Chock up her name on the list.
“I’m really sorry Theo. I was kind of. . .overwhelmed back there., ya know. . .?” Felix sighed his voice and body trembling.
“I know.”
Felix breathed out, happy she understood and slowly broke the embrace. “What happened after I skipped?”
“Well,” Theo began, her voice catching as she sat on the edge of his bed, “Ms. Larson tried to find you but she looked in all the wrong places, and I looked where you usually go to, by Mrs. Tibra’s blue period spot in the corner?” Theo said, crooking her thumb towards the window and received a nod of agreement from Felix,
“And I couldn’t find you, an’ then Ms. Larson told me to get to my next class. . .and it was really boring in history there without you, by the way, you made me have to suffer through an hour of studying oceanic islands. . .” Theo sighed, sending a cross look towards Felix who mumbled a “that must have been painful” her way and squeezing her hand tightly.
“So at lunch that’s all people would talk about, and the story got twisted quite a bit. There was one story where you punched a guy in the face and then the other guy sent you to the nurse. And another one where you punched the teacher.” she shook her head, thinking about how stupid rumors were.
“Theo, will I get suspended?” Felix said in a quiet voice, wincing in another epiphany of sudden realization.
“ I don’t really know, hopefully not. But, Ms. Larson understood you didn’t start it or really punch. I wish I could tell ya how upset she was.” she said, linking her fingers together and laying them on her lap.
“Theo, please don’t tell my mom. She’ll be. . .hurt. . .and I just can’t stand seeing her like that.” Felix murmured worriedly, running his tongue on his lips and dully noticing how chapped they were.
Theo was silent for a few moments, looking at her entwined fingers.
“You. . .you know you can’t hide this forever.” Theo announced with pain in her voice, making her stony grey eyes bore into his azure.
“I know.” Felix said, not breaking the gaze. “But I will for as long as I can. I don’t want to hurt my mom. . .”
“Felix, I don’t think you really know. You get beaten up every day,” Theo sniffled, tears brimming in her eyes, shadows contorting inside of them, “you could get killed, Felix. Killed. . . you’d be on the news. Boy, 11, Dead.”
“I won’t, Theo. I promise. . .” Felix whispered, taking one of her hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
He promised even though he didn’t believe it.
“Hey guys, I’m home!” the door downstairs creaked open as Felix’s mother called. Felix felt his stomach twist into a knot. He sluggishly heard Colbie answer his mom, but Felix’s shut his mouth in a thin line. He snuck into the bathroom without making a noise, even in the creaky old house and opened the clost door, shoving aside colorful towels and groped in the dark for the handle he knew he would find.
Twisting the knob Felix climbed into the square compartment that opened. Felix curled himself up in the cabinet and shut his eyes. Felix had found the compartment when he was six or so and had only passed the secret on to Colbie. In the tiny little compartment, Felix prayed she would stay silent about his newest secret.
“Mom. . .” Colbie started, but Felix didn’t hear the rest as he covered his ears and fell into a light sleep.
“FELIX!” his mom screeched, startling Felix from his nightmarish rest. Felix cringed and tears dripped down his face and onto the polished wood alcove. Felix didn’t climb out, instead he sat and shivered, afraid to make a sound.
“FELIX! Come down here!” his mom yelled in a softer tone. Felix shut his eyes tight and hit his fist against the claustrophobic space. He might as well get it over with. Climbing out of his closet, Felix romped down the stairs, awaiting his death sentence.
“Felix! Where were you?!” His mother asked. Her hair was askew and her eyes glistened with tears that she was holding in.
Shoot.
Felix thought of a quick lie and spoke.
“I was in my room, listening to music. . . so, I couldn’t hear you.” he said nervously, putting his hands behind his back and crossing his fingers subtly.
“Uh-huh. . .” his mother said, obviously not believing his lie. Of course she wouldn’t. If he had been, LMFAO’s beautiful sound woul
d be rocking the house back and forth. Her eyelids squinted at Felix’s quivering body as she spoke, “Well, Colbie tells me, you got in a fight?!” her mother shouted, emphasizing the last word.
Felix cringed, slinking backward and tying a figurative rope to himself and his mother so he couldn’t run to the seclusion of his room.
“Well?” his mother asked. Felix almost expected her to tap her foot while she waited for an explanation.
“Mom. . . I. . .” Felix didn’t want to tell her he was being bullied. His eyes desperately moved from his mother’s face to his sister’s, whose face was pale, staring straight ahead.
“Yes, I did. I let my brain control my heart and I’m sorry.” Felix sighed, hanging his head.
Felix shot his sister a look that said, “You’ve already done enough” as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Felix, who? Why?” His mother demanded softly.
“I dunno. Some kid was annoying me.” At least that part was true. It felt horrible to be saying this, but telling his mom he was bullied, he would feel so pathetic. More so than he was now. He could almost see himself as this big, hulking wrestler.
“Felix. Tell me what really happened.” his mom ordered, looking him in the eye. His face flushed red as exasperation for his mother took over his vision, his eyes holding an innocent flare.
“T-that’s what happened, Mom. I-I don’t really want to talk about it. . .” he trailed off, shuffling his foot on the floor with his sneaker. He looked up at his mom’s glaring eyes. Felix stared back, an internal struggle between them finally breaking as she looked away and gave him a blank expression
“Okay, Felix. You’re grounded. No using electronics or going anywhere with your friends. You can’t get into fights. What did I teach you that made you do that?” she asked fiercely.
“I don’t know. . .nothing. . .I. . .” he trailed off again, surprised at the harsh sentencing, tears beginning to crawl at the corners of his eyes.
“Okay, go to your room for now and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.” she said somberly, dismissing her prisoner.
Felix clambered up into his room in a great hurry. He flopped on his bed and shuddered violently as tears filled his eyes. Felix pinched his skin, punched at walls, kicked his bedspread. He even rolled off his bed, not allowing his hands to break his fall. Anything to distract him with pain instead of crying.
“This can’t be happening. . .” He whispered, weakly.
It took about half an hour for him to stumble out of his room with bright red eyes. He whipped his head around to the digital alarm clock. 7:21. Dinner was probably ready. Felix didn’t really care that his mother hadn’t called him down. Felix silently made his way down the cold, creaky, and old wooden stairs, ignoring his dog and took a right into the kitchen. Felix’s spirits lifted slightly to the smell of pizza wafting through the air. Felix saw his mother working on the computer at the foot of the countertop.
Without turning her head she said, “Hey, Felix. Dinner’s almost ready. Go set the table, please.” Felix jumped at the premonition of ‘eyes in the back of my head’ and made his way to the woven containers, all the while wondering where his little brothers were.
Felix’s mom seemed to forget that dinner wasn’t completely ready yet, and that Felix got into a fight. She seemed pretty into whatever was on the computer. The whole fact that he had been grounded was nonexistent for all his mom remembered.
Colbie walked in, stopping as she saw Felix turn and fix her with a glowering look. Colbie turned and ignored the still-angry Felix and asked her mom tensely, “Hey, where’s the twins?”
“They’re with your dad, he’s just picked them up from a friend’s house.” she answered, shutting the laptop screen. It must’ve been their last sleepover day at their friend’s. She looked at the oven and stood up off her chair. The air in the kitchen seemed dull and not that usual upbeat, bright feel with the silly nonsense that Felix’s twin brothers would babble on about and his mom with funny stories from friends along with his dad who hears things about his work friends. Colbie was the same, minus the fact that she gave Felix a menacing look. She always seemed quiet and not really into the conversation. But she laughed right along.
“Go and set the table please.” Felix’s mother repeated sharply, shutting off the oven and grabbing an oven mitt with ducklings over a pink fabric.
“Mom really doesn’t remember my consequence?” Felix wondered, grabbing the milk Colbie had just poured into his designated purple glass and took a sip.
‘Why is everyone being so quiet?’
Felix’s eyes opened as his front door was opened roughly, being flung against the wall.
“That was so awesome! When can we go again?!” A squeaky voice shouted, pleading in his voice. It was Felix’s seven year old brothers, meaning the demon spawn had returned. Felix almost sighed in relief as the kitchen was filled with noise again.
“When they invite you. You can’t just go over there whenever you want, boys.” his dad answered, hanging up his brown trench coat. “I think Mom has dinner ready, so go ahead and eat.” Felix stared at his father’s brightly colored tie depicting smiley faces and sighed, turning his face away towards the shadows. His dad most likely picked them up on his way out of work. He worked in the city with was about an hour away, but he commuted by train.
“Feeelix!” two annoying voices rang out, a slight tugging on Felix’s shirt signifying it was his brothers.
“H-hi Ian, Anthony.” Felix said in a passable voice, albeit shaky and almost as shrill as his brother’s. They were pretty crazy and rowdy. They seemed to always be jumping on Felix and making him give piggyback rides.
“Guess what we did today, Felix?!” Ian shouted happily, spinning in a tight circle.
“We went over to Toby’s house and we play-” Anthony began.
“-ed Star Wars with glowing swords! It was really cool! I wa-”
“I was Darth Vader, an’ Toby was Dark Swift an’. . .an’ Ian was Ani-can Skywalker!”
Felix couldn’t help but laugh to himself about his brother’s way of interrupting each other and bumping into each other as they spoke.
“That sounds awesome, guys.” Felix smiled, rubbing Anthony’s head of brown hair with bangs down the side while hugging Ian with one arm.
“He-e-ey!” Anthony yelled, jerking away from Felix. “Don’t mess up my hair, jerk!”
Felix laughed slightly.
“Sorry Anthony.” he chuckled, about to ask about more of their playdate before noticing his mother talking in a hushed voice to his father.
Fear struck through him, his arm falling limply on his brother’s shoulders, his long laugh turning into a low titter.
“Felix, what’s for dinner?” Ian asked lazily, slumping down into the nearest chair.
“Pizza.” Felix said blankly, sitting down at the table.
“PEPPERONI!” Anthony yelled from behind the counter, triumphantly holding a slice of pizza in the air with grease dripping onto his fingers.
“You mean pepperoni.” Colbie mumbled, playing with her metal fork. “We’re not poor. We have real forks, Felix.” she hissed. “Real forks for our family that we’re honest to and loyal.”
Felix growled, putting his head in his hands. “Stop.” He mumbled.
“Daaaaad, can we eat now?”
Felix watched as his father slowly turned towards Anthony who had already shoved half of his slice into his mouth. “In a minute, Ian. Mommy’s just telling me about something.” he said, his eyes lingering on Felix’s messy head as it sank lower to the ground.
“Felix?”
“Yeah, dad?” Felix called from his darkened bedroom, slowly closing his red tinted 3DS and turning off his game, shoving it under his pillow.
“Can I come in for a minute?”
Felix sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists. He knew what this was about.
“No.” He whispered so his father couldn’t hear.
His dad opened the door, his eyes narrowing on Felix with a calm, gentle expression.
“I do not recall allowing you to enter the sleeping facility.” Felix snapped from inside the fluffy down of his pillow.
“Felix.”
Felix sniffled as his father put a hand on one of his shoulders. Felix shuddered in the comfort of his father, knowing just what the question was.
“What really happened today?”
Felix uncovered his face and stared at his father and shrugged.
“Because you didn’t beat a boy up. A,” his father began, listing off the reasons, “you know better as an individual, and you wouldn’t want to anyway, no matter how annoying, B, I don’t think you could have actually beat a boy up, besides, there was no phone call, and C,” His father closed his eyes, “There wasn’t a half-day today.”
“Don’t tell mom.”
“I can’t promise that.”
“Okay, then, goodnight.” Felix grumbled, fidgeting into his covers.
“Felix,” his father pleaded, shaking Felix’s back, but Felix said nothing. Eventually, his father left the room.
Felix wiped away his tears and stared at the stars in the sky before he drifted to sleep.
“Sorry I was so emotional like that. I’m usually not that. . .er. . .vulnerable.”
The bell rang, signalling that the day was finally over. “Oh my god. . .” Felix breathed as he and Theo barreled down the hallway, “Oh my god. . .I. . .we could’ve died in there.”
“Felix, it was just fractions. Adding fractions.” Theo laughed, raising her eyebrow.
“It wasn’t ‘just adding fractions’! IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF ALGEBRA!” Felix protested as he pushed open the doors between the school and the outside.
“. . .No, no it wasn’t Felix.”
“Well, then.” Felix muttered as fell onto the grass nearby, savoring the smell of it being freshly cut.
“Felexis?” Theo asked innocently.
Felix’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t change my gender.”
“Someone’s in a great mood today.” Theodora laughed as she sat down next to Felix.
“Theo. . .can you keep a secret?”
“I already keep enough of them, Felix. I don’t know how many more I can hold.” she whispered fleetingly, looking down at her hands as he smile evaporating.