“You’ll lose, Joel. I’ve worked with difficult directors before. You’ll just be one more,” she said wearily. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave. I understand I’m to start work tomorrow morning and I’d like to settle in and get unpacked. Tomorrow you can throw anything you want at me, but I’m on my own time now. Good-bye, Joel.”
He uttered a curse that was worse than anything she had ever heard from the boys in the stunt crew. “I won’t be so easy to dismiss on the set tomorrow, Kendra,” he said grimly. “I’d put off that unpacking and get a hell of a lot of rest instead. You’re going to need it.” The amber beads of the curtain jangled harshly as he stalked out the door.
She waited until the front door had slammed behind him before she allowed the tension to flow out of her. She was almost weak as she tottered over to the bed and sank down on the cushioned surface. Lord, she had never dreamed the meeting with Joel would be so difficult. She’d thought she’d fortified herself against him, but she had never expected him to exhibit such strange vulnerability and loving tenderness. She’d expected lust and arrogance, and his anxiety and protectiveness had caught her completely off guard. And on top of it all was the suggeston of pregnancy. Good Lord, his concern might have some foundation. No! She wouldn’t accept it. She couldn’t be that unlucky, not with all she had to do. It would be years before Casey would be finished with his training and equipped for a new career. She couldn’t afford another responsibility on the scale a child would represent.
She squared her shoulders and sat up straighter on the bed. Why was she worrying about something that might never come to pass? Joel was obviously going to give her more than enough problems in the next weeks without her borrowing trouble. She rubbed her temples wearily, trying to ease the knotted tension. She was so tired of fighting and it had felt so wonderful to relax in Joel’s arms and be petted so tenderly. She had wanted to stay there forever. But forever wasn’t a word in Joel Damon’s vocabulary, and despite his surprising gentleness earlier in their meeting, she knew he wasn’t a man she could lean on for more than a moment. He had withdrawn that blessed support with brutal abruptness when she hadn’t bowed to his wishes.
When it came down to the essentials, she was always alone, wasn’t she? There was no reason why she should come unraveled at the thought now. Tomorrow she’d be able to fight him again. She’d be able to meet any challenge he could hurl at her after she had some rest. But right now that sluggish lassitude was creeping like molasses through her veins and those pillows looked irresistibly inviting.
It would be safe to let her guard down now for a little while and nap until Billie came back. The cushions were just as comfortable as they looked and her lids were already closing as she curled up like a weary child on the couch.
Child? Joel Damon’s child would no doubt be as enchanting a rascal as his father. She had a vision of a miniature replica of him: crisp curly hair, green sorcerer’s eyes, and a smile that tugged at…
FIVE
THE ROOM WAS dim and shadowy; darkness showed through the gap in the curtain at the windows. The only light was a diffused glow emanating from the other room. That wasn’t the only thing drifting into the room, though, she realized hazily. There was the low throb of a guitar and the haunting softness of a woman’s voice. Billie’s voice, she thought, as she got off the bed and headed toward the beaded curtain.
There is an island where only the south winds blow.
There is a river they say has no end.
There is a mountain whose peak has known no snow.
And there is a lover who only calls my name.
He only calls my name.
Billie was sitting cross-legged on an enormous cushion on the floor wearing a faded nightshirt with Kiss me, I’m Irish emblazoned in shamrock-green across the front. She looked up from her guitar and cast a quick warm smile at Kendra. “Hi, did I wake you?”
Kendra shook her head. “I only meant to nap for a while anyway. That’s a very pretty folk song you were singing. I don’t think I’ve heard it before.”
“That’s not surprising since I just made it up an hour ago.” Billie’s fingers moved caressingly over the strings. “I like to play around with composing every now and then. It’s something to do when you’re alone.” She shrugged. “And when you’re on the road, you find yourself alone more often than not.”
“And you’re on the road a lot?”
“I get restless,” Billie said simply. She looked down at her guitar, her violet eyes far away. “You know, sometimes I feel there’s something special out there waiting for me just around the corner or over the horizon. But when I get there, whatever it was has already faded away. I can catch a glimpse of it in the distance, but I can never quite touch it.” She struck a soft chord. “So I try another road.”
“Well, your roads certainly have some interesting twists and turns,” Kendra said lightly. “Did you get Yusef settled?”
“If you could call it that. He’s lying outside on our doorstep in a sleeping bag. Dave offered to put a cot in the wardrobe tent, but he wouldn’t have it. He seems to think I’ll be thrown into some dire peril if he’s not right on top of me. I tried to get Joel to put a cot in here, but he turned me down flat. He said there was no way he was going to let a bordello bouncer become our roommate. Yusef isn’t the only one who’s overprotective around here.”
“Yet you seem to be able to manage Joel very well from what I’ve seen,” Kendra observed. “Have you known each other long?”
“About three months,” Billie answered. “And no one ‘manages’ Joel Damon. The only reason he sometimes listens to me is because we’re friends. We liked each other from the minute he picked me up on the highway one day. Sometimes it happens that way.”
“He picked you up?”
“Well, not exactly the way that sounds,” Billie said with a grin. She put her scratched and battered guitar aside. “Drag up a cushion and I’ll tell you all about it.” She suddenly snapped her fingers. “I almost forgot, you must be starved. I brought you a thermos of soup and a packet of crackers from the commissary tent at dinner time. They’re on the brass table over there. I really should have awakened you but you were sleeping so deeply, I thought probably you needed rest more than food.”
“I did.” Kendra found the thermos, plastic spoon, and crackers and returned to where Billie was sitting. She nudged a scarlet cushion a bit closer with her toe and sank down across from her. “Thanks, Billie. I am a little hungry.” She unscrewed the top of the thermos. “Now, tell me how Joel picked you up.”
“My motorcycle broke down on a highway in Oregon and I was thumbing a ride to the nearest gas station when this sinfully gorgeous Mercedes slinked to a stop. Joel proceeded to read me the riot act on the dangers of hitchhiking and then he gave me the lift and ended up by offering me a job in Venture.” She smiled, reminiscing. “I thought he was just giving me a line, but he showed me his ID and persuaded me to go on to Michael Donovan’s film colony at Twin Pines with him until I made up my mind. I didn’t really take much persuading. I had just left the Rainbow People and I didn’t have a definite destination in mind anyway.”
Kendra’s eyes widened in shock. “The Rainbow people?”
Billie’s expression looked shrewd. “How very odd that you and Joel should have the same reaction,” she said softly. “It’s an Indian tribe whose lands are situated near the Puget Sound in Washington. They have an Indian name which is a real tongue twister so most people just call them the Rainbow People. I lived with them for six months before I met Joel on that highway in Oregon.”
Rainbows again. She seemed destined to be reminded of that night. Kendra’s eyes dropped to the rich broth she was spooning from the thermos. “So Joel talked you into taking the part,” she prompted.
Billie nodded. “I tried to tell him I couldn’t act, but he said it didn’t matter. The role was practically all action anyway and what he really needed was my face. He said it was a
face that people would care about. With a role that has as many cliffhangers as The Perils of Pauline, it’s very important that the audience care whether I make it across that canyon.” She grinned. “Or rather, that you make it across. Anyway, I stayed at Twin Pines for a week while Joel and Michael were having their discussion. There’s not a heck of a lot to do in the backwoods of Oregon, so we spent most evenings just sitting around talking, trading our life stories. You become close pretty quickly under circumstances like those.”
“I guess you do,” Kendra said slowly. It was ridiculous to feel this sharp twinge of jealousy. She didn’t want to know the Joel Damon with whom Billie had become friends. It was too dangerous for her. As long as she could convince herself her feelings were only physical, she was safe. “It surprises me that Joel would let anyone slip beneath the armor of cynicism he wears.”
“He’s not all that hard to know,” Billie said, her expression earnest. “He uses cynicism to protect himself from getting hurt. He wants to give to people, but he’s afraid that if he does, there will be just another betrayal.”
“Another betrayal?”
“Who knows how many there have been in his life?” Billie’s eyes were compassionate. “His childhood must have been an emotional horror story. His mother was married six times and evidently shuttled him off to private schools whenever she got the opportunity. Her father was Giles Damon, the steel tycoon, and she would never have had a child at all if he hadn’t wanted an heir for the business and exerted a little pressure in the only area the bitch would feel it.” Her lips tightened. “Her monthly allowance.”
“Aren’t you being a bit hard on her?” Kendra asked lightly. Oh Lord, she didn’t want to think about Joel Damon as a vulnerable, sensitive child. A child hurting and alone, who would run away to a Norman fortress to draw strength from its ancient permanence. “Perhaps she actually wanted a child herself.”
Billie shook her head. “She made no bones about the fact she was coerced into having Joel. She thought it was wildly amusing to tell how she’d researched bloodlines to find just the right stud who would fulfill her father’s requirements. She finally chose an Italian prince who was making a very luxurious living as a gigolo on the French Riviera. They went through a marriage ceremony to legitimize the union and Joel was born seven months later. The prince was then paid off handsomely and divorced.” Billie smiled grimly. “Oh yes, she kept the title. She told everyone it was the only thing she’d gotten out of the marriage that was worth anything. With a background like that can you blame Joel for not wanting to get close to anyone?”
The gigolo. Joel had looked as if she’d struck him when she had innocently thrown that taunt at him. The pain on his face had been stark and raw before he had covered it with a sarcastic expression. Kendra suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He was becoming too real and human with every word Billie spoke. She had to keep him one-dimensional if she was to come out of this with her heart whole and emotionally intact.
She jumped to her feet. “I think I’d better get to bed if I’m going to be any good at all tomorrow,” she said hurriedly as she screwed the top back on the thermos and folded the cellophane around the remaining crackers. “I have to be on the set at six.” She strode across the room and put both items back on the little brass table. “I’m afraid I didn’t ask which bed was mine before I just plopped.”
“It doesn’t matter, use either one.” Billie picked up her guitar again. “Will it bother you if I play for a little while? I’m something of an insomniac.”
“No problem. I sleep like a log.”
“So I noticed.” Billie’s fingers stroked the strings lovingly. “You looked so exhausted that I was a little worried. Are you sure you’re up to working tomorrow?”
“I’m sure.” As Kendra moved briskly toward the bedroom, she threw the other woman a grin over her shoulder. “Haven’t you heard? We stunt people are as tough as old leather.”
“Try it again, Kendra.” Joel’s voice was silky smooth and absolutely expressionless. Kendra gritted her teeth to keep back the exclamation of pure fury she wanted to hurl at the stone-faced monster lolling carelessly in the camera’s hoist some twenty feet above her. She had rolled down that bloody incline five times and Joel still wasn’t ready to film it. She sat up and dusted off the knees of her jeans and meticulously straightened the copper curls of her wig. She would not complain and give Joel the satisfaction of knowing that his treatment was getting to her. She’d roll down that hill a hundred times if his august lordship decreed. She had taken all the punishment he had handed out to her in the past two weeks and she could keep on for as long as he could dish it out.
It couldn’t go on like this forever. Joel was taking too much time filming her stunts and he was far too professional to let the budget suffer to indulge his own personal quirks.
“Are you okay?” Skip Lowden asked quietly as he reached down a hand to pull her to her feet. His gray eyes were as cool as ever but there was a flicker of concern in their depths. His hands ran over her hips and ribs impersonally. “The padding’s holding all right?”
“Fine,” she said curtly. “I have more padding than an end for the Los Angeles Rams, and it seems that I’m going to need every bit of it.”
“It looks that way.” Skip took her arm and was striding with her up the hill. “You’re keeping loose, but I noticed on that last roll you forgot to tuck your left arm underneath you. Watch it or you could end up with a broken arm.”
“I will.” She hadn’t been aware of the slip but she had no doubt it had happened if Skip said so. She had been tired and upset, but a lack of concentration was not only unprofessional, it could kill her. “It won’t happen again, Skip.”
“Just thought I’d mention it,” Skip said absently. “Like I said, you’re looking good.” He paused a moment, oddly hesitant for someone so self-assured. “I can’t take the heat off you, Kendra. I’d like to, but he’s not violating any safety guidelines. In fact, when it comes to the risky gags, he’s being almost too careful. He’s made them in one take every time.” He frowned. “And some of those shots were pretty marginal. Any other director might have had you do a repeat.”
“Oh, he’s a great one for repeats.” They had reached the crest of the hill and she turned to face him, her expression grim. “Just ask me. I’m a living testament to his passion for repeats.” She shook her head resignedly. “I know there’s nothing you can do, Skip. How can you fault a director for having too many run-throughs? If I petitioned the Screen Actors Guild, they’d think I was crazy. The complaints are always on the other side of the scale.”
Skip nodded. “They probably wouldn’t believe any charge of harassment anyway. Damon’s reputation for fairness is too well founded.” He seemed puzzled. “That’s why I can’t understand what the hell is happening. I’ve worked with him before and he’s been damn good to everyone on the team. Hell, most of the time I not only respect but actually like the man.”
That was an impressive accolade for a man who was as fiercely protective of his team as Skip. If Joel hadn’t been putting her through all the fires of hell, she knew she too could have liked the man she’d grown to know in the last two weeks. In every aspect of directing that didn’t concern her personally, he was absolutely fair and sensitive to the needs of the actors and the crew he was working with. He gave as much as he demanded. And, if he was the workaholic she had accused him of being, still he had the brilliance and enthusiasm to inspire that same desire for perfection in the people around him.
She’d also discovered he had a wry sense of humor that occasionally destroyed the barrier of cynical reserve and revealed his almost boyish sense of fun. The first time she had seen that spark of mischief on his face was when he’d been joking with Billie. She had felt an odd tugging at her heart. Perhaps it was fortunate that she had been too angry with him most of the time to let that charisma seep through her guard.
Skip’s eyes narrowed speculatively. “I don’t suppose you
have any idea why he has it in for you?”
“Does it matter?” she asked evasively. She checked the pins that held her wig in place and tucked the blue tails of her shirt more snugly into her jeans. “The only important thing is for me to survive it. It will all be over in another few days anyway. After this I’ve only got the horse chase through the desert,” she paused deliberately, “and the jump across the canyon.”
A rare smile tugged at Skip’s lips. “You’re pushing, Ken.” The smile abruptly disappeared. “Damon paid me a visit last week and told me that I wasn’t to give you that special under any circumstances.”
Kendra tensed. “And?”
“I told him I’d give it to anyone I damn well pleased. No one tells me how to run my shop.” Seeing the hope that suddenly lit her face he continued quickly, “That doesn’t mean you’ve got it, Ken. I still haven’t made a decision. I’ll let you know after the horse chase.” He touched his index finger lightly to her cheek. “You’ve done a good job so far, Ken. Hang in there.” Then he wheeled and strode rapidly down the hill. He turned his head to call back over his shoulder. “And keep that left arm tucked under.”
She laughed and nodded. “Right.” She was suddenly buoyantly optimistic, her former weariness and discouragement completely gone. She waved mockingly at Joel on the hoist. “Ready, Mr. Damon?”
“Whenever you are, Kendra.” Joel’s voice was equally mocking.
She dropped to the ground, her gaze on Joel’s sardonic face, half hidden by sunglasses. “Let’s go for it!”
She drew a deep breath and launched herself forward, curling into a loose pliant ball, carefully keeping her arms tucked in. It was a bone-jarring tumble even with her padding and the special preparations that had been made to the earth on her charted path down the hill, but the momentum of her descent was so swift that she wasn’t aware of any danger until she heard Skip’s strident yell.