* Gospel according to Luke (13.22 to 30)
Lighting
Jesus look at me, are badly lit? Where should I wear?
Pitchblende
The period of youth is what I remember most pleasantly Pitchblende of the band I played around 70 years with Jesus, Adam Ant and Bixio.
We were called Pitchblende in honor of our favorite radioactive mineral, or rather, my favorite Adam Ant and Bixio, because Jesus was not really a radioactive mineral favorite, pretended to spite his strict father who wanted all loved equally minerals, strange man her father, very shy, now that I think about it I think I have not even seen.
One night during a concert at the fiery Maramagma, the more local IN Much Wenlock in the county of Shropshire, Jesus, always to spite his strict father who did not want you scalmanasse, you scalmanò. In the middle of our most famous song, Miao Again, taking advantage of the long drum solo Bixio, put down, looked at me and Adam Ant, and said, "What sian scribes or Pharisees, I tufferò between them from the stage" and then, stood out while in flight, "Once before I died, but then recourses."
Do not ever landed, was literally absorbed by the raised hands of fans who cheered ready to take it, it disappeared. The concert was interrupted, but no one complained because that unrepeatable special effect was worth more than the ticket price.
Jesus never saw him again ever again, however, despite being a mediocre bass player, thanks to the disappearance became a legend.
Pitchblende I replaced it with a certain Connie Cuadretti, Cuadretti with C, because it seems that having a woman was IN bassist, but that error was, it turned out hateful, domineering and manesca. After less than a month, the band broke up.
No, I did not say joy
On a wet Sunday afternoon in November of 1819, I, Queequeg, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Adam Ant and Jesus, there we were bored with each other.
Shares rose
"I do not receive glory from men," Jesus once said to me, James the Greater and Adam Ant, who took issue misreading: "But there are no quotas for women among the Apostles."
Confidences of Christmas
"Jesus, what's wrong? Look sad."
"Not at all, my birthday is approaching ..."
"MBEH?"
"Celebrating the birthday yet passed the 2,000 ... I mean ... I feel like an old man with hat of paper and the language of Menelik ... well, I told you."
"I think I understand."
"Excuse the outburst."
"It 's ok, I like it when you confide in me."
"I like to confide in you."
"So, as we close this conversation?
"I conclude by the way: no Christmas, Christmas no no, no no no Christmas!"
"What a fool you are, Merry Christmas Jesus"
"Merry Christmas Julio."
Unit
150 years ago I, Giuseppe Garibaldi, Callimachus Zambianchi and Adam Ant, discussing at the park, we noticed that in unison unity rhymes with voila.
Car Repair Services specializing
Many many many years ago, me and Adam Ant we opened a garage specializing in car repair papal those with the bulletproof plexiglass so to speak.
But wait a day, wait a week, wait a month, wait a year, and nothing, the car never went papal failure.
What I do not knew right away, and I Adam Ant, was that the car had papal full tanks of Jesus, full of Jesus
Coincidences
May be a coincidence but every time I place on earth has a great sporting event, up there in the cosmos Jesus and Sai Baba challenge the Wii.
The Christmas gifts
For Christmas I received a gift from Jesus a credit card rechargeable inner wealth, but I needed new shoes, new shoes.
Christmas gifts II
For Christmas I received a gift from Jesus a GPS to find the way of faith, but I had to go with Jerago Orago in the province of Varese and ended up in the ditch, ended up in the ditch.
Christmas gifts III
For Christmas I received a gift from Jesus the seed of hope but, at school, even the bean seeds in cotton for the task of science could grow, so New Year's Eve, hope I boiled with lentils, boiled with lentils.
Wrens
I, Jesus and Adam Ant had just finished our picnic. There were supine in the shade of a sycamore tree sipping lemonade when, on a branch, landed a wren.
"What bird is it?" Asked Adam Ant to Jesus
"That bird is of little importance, is a creature of God" Jesus answered
"I understand, I do not know." Muttered Adam Ant.
Discoteque
I remember the evening of February 8th of many many many years ago, I, Jesus and Adam Ant, we went to the disco Baba Beach of Porto Potenza to dance like crazy and fate would have it the console to put discs there were Lady Miss Kier, Super DJ Dimitri Mitri Jungle DJ Towa Towa and, also known as Deee-Lite or the orchestra music and entertainment by Jesus preferred.
For a while 'spun smoothly until, attack Power Of Love, me and Adam Ant, secluded half an hour with two strappone, we noticed a glow coming from the track and we thought in unison that Jesus was putting in trouble.
We saw him in the middle of hard trance make their way among the nations, to open the windows of the room, to reach the shore, and after a brief hesitation, walk on the waters of the Adriatic Sea.
Some Pharisees tamarri and skeptics did not lose the opportunity to diminish the uniqueness of what they were seeing all arguing that, since February, the sea was frozen and are being used then great ability to walk on. Unfortunately also wanted to prove it and went out to emulate Jesus
The next day, the scribes reported in the chronicles of 12 tamarri Pharisees and skeptical drowned in the icy sea.
Adam Ant and I do not ever Jesus took her to the disco.
The largest exhibition of sanitary and bathroom furniture in Bourton-on-the-Water
Even today just do not know how he managed to convince us, but the fact remains that on March 6, 1661, I, Jesus and Adam Ant we accompanied his friend Richard Ginori the largest exhibition of sanitary and bathroom furniture in Bourton-on-the-Water in Gloucestershire.
As we entered the pavilion Richard's eyes lit up like a kid in a store of toys, he began to try the tablets in cashmere for the cold season, those in cool wool for warm seasons and test the anatomical grip of brushes as if they were katanas, then lost touch.
Jesus, because of the poor man from his childhood, he had a tendency to always find the good in all things and found some good in the voice-activated soap dispenser.
Me and Adam Ant was clear that we would be bored, we tried to strike up a conversation with two strappone to a stand of flushing intelligent, but they were there to sell for half an hour and did nothing but talk about intelligent flushing.
However, the situation would change soon after, in fact, no one could imagine that the hall of the fair was built on a graveyard of American Indian shamans migrants, as well as on an illegal dump of cadmium, as well as on an underground river of slime.
By health exposure began to leave the living dead shamans covered with cadmium and mud, a bit 'like in the movie Dawn of the Dead shamans covered with cadmium and mud, you can imagine the general stampede.
Jesus tried to convert them to the mercy of some creatures but as soon as he smeared the tunic used the usual trick of disappearing.
Adam Ant hid in Hun water heater 6 gallon and remained there until the end of the story.
I started to run trying to gain the release but shamans Dead covered with cadmium and mud were everywhere, luck would have it, I found myself in front of Richard Ginori with two bandoliers of soap dispenser neutral voice command crossed.
"Stay behind" he said and then shouted "NEUTRAL SOAP!"
Came from the dispenser machine-gunning of soap and we were able to break through, because shamans Dead covered with cadmium and hate the mud soap.
The situation was serious and behold, miraculous and unexpected, a heavy snowfall of soap from heaven drove little by little evil in hell. He does not ever admit but I was sure that Jesus had had a hand.
The next day Richard Ginori had the idea to produce detectors of cadmium and slime from toilets and made us a fortune.
Even I, Jesus and Adam Ant will one we installed in our bathrooms, fortunamtamente have never found anything ... Beeep beeep beeep beeep beeep ... to date.
The first time I met Jesus
I remember, it was a March 21 a duemilata years ago, approximately, that I met Jesus for the first time.
I wanted to gather enough money to buy some roller skates which become normal shoes backlit, so I went for a spot of hostes the first large gathering of those who think they are disliked because they say what they think but they are disliked because they are unpleasant and enough.
Once arrived at the conference center of Biddulph in the county of Staffordshire, without even asking me questions on attitudes to work, let alone explain to me what I should do, I unsuspecting a sticker on his chest that read hostess in black marker medium point and made me enter the great hall.
I looked around, it was completely deserted except that, placed at the bottom, in a corner, there was a small stand.
I went to see what it was.
Behind the banquet was a young man in his thirties with hair and beard, looked a bit 'sad.
"Why did the first large gathering of those who think they dislike because they say what they think but they are disliked because they are just unpleasant and there is no one besides you?" I asked all in one breath.
"For those who think they are disliked because they say what they think but they are disliked because they are nasty and just not thought to