She had been at the window, enjoying the sunny view of the outdoors, when the door opened and closed quietly. Since she did not want to appear as guilty as she was, Sunny did not turn from the window. She stood waiting to hear Mrs. Boots scold her or Holly ask whether she wanted to listen to her read.
Her ploy worked. Thinking he would find her asleep, Brandon thought Sunny looked quite healthy. Her robe settled nicely around her, and her hair fell to her waist in dark waves.
"I'd been led to believe that you were still sick in bed; it's good to see you up and around." His voice was light and friendly, and Sunny felt a mix of emotions: She was delighted to see him, but not pleased that he should see her in such a weakened condition.
239
She had already begun to tremble a little from her exertion, but managed to turn with some grace and smile at him. Brandon smiled in return and started toward her. The smile, however, abruptly died as he crossed the large expanse of room and saw just how pale and thin she had become. He also swiftly took in the fact that she was balancing herself with a hand to the wall.
"Sunny," Brandon's voice was full of concern. "Are you supposed to be out of bed?"
"No," she admitted, looking much younger than he'd ever seen her.
"Can you make it back?" Brandon wasn't sure why he asked. In the past he would have kept silent and taken her back.
"Of course." She decided not to tell him how weak she was really feeling. "Why don't you give me a minute and then come back in? I'll get settled back on the bed, and we can visit then."
Tempted to argue since she looked quite frail, Brandon kept still for a moment and then turned to leave. Long before he reached the door, however, he turned back to check on her once again.
Sunny, who had closed her eyes the moment Brandon turned away, knew that any moment now her legs were going to give way. She was surprised that they had held her as long as they had. With all that was in her, she fought to stay upright, but there was now a rushing sound in her head, and she groped for the wall with her other hand.
"Brandon," she called weakly, suddenly hoping that he was still in the room. "Please-"
He was immediately there, his arms around her. She was lifted carefully and borne easily to the bed. Brandon's stomach clenched at how gaunt she looked and light she felt. He knew that after such an illness, even her skin would be tender, so with the greatest of attention he placed her on the bed. When the bed covers were tucked gently around her, Brandon moved a chair close, sat down, and leaned near to her face.
"I wanted to see out the window," Sunny admitted softly. "Now I'm so tired, I don't care."
"You could have asked someone for help."
Sunny's head moved restlessly on the pillow. "They all would have said no and scolded me about wanting to be up. Fm so weary of this bed." Her eyes closed with these words, and Brandon smiled gently into her sleeping fece, a smile that changed to a frown of concern over
240
241
the way she had tried to send him away.
"You're as proud as the day I met you," he whispered. "Will you ever let go of that pride, Sunny?"
Sunny's slumber did not allow her to hear his question, but then Brandon remembered that Sunny had called to him.
Maybe there is hope.This time Brandon spoke in his heart to the Lord.Maybe she is starting to see her need for help.
Brandon stayed for another ten minutes, praying for Sunny's physical well-being. He also confessed his own sin of pushing her away in the past, of making her feel that she must meet his standard in order to be loved by him.
The sudden image of her on the road in a peasant dress kindled anew his anger with her and her endless restlessness. Brandon found himself having to stay where he was, continuing his talk with the Lord until finally he had confessed all his anger and sin and totally surrendered Sunny to God.
ttMy, but that's a serious look," Sunny commented to her niece as she joined her under the trees that lined the courtyard at Willows' End.
It was a beautiful June day, and Sunny was completely back on her feet. She slept longer than before the illness, but her color was back, and she had nicely filled out again to look like her old self.
She and Holly had become closer than ever during her recovery, but Holly had never once talked to Sunny about what was burdening her heart. Today was the day.
**I do feel serious today, Sunny, and I hope you'll hear me out."
The younger girl looked rather taken aback, but stayed silent. Holly settled herself down before Sunny and opened a book. Sunny instantly saw it was Holly's Bible.
"I was really frightened when you were sick," Holly began softly. "You were so pale and weak, and I was scared when I watched you struggle for breath. I was afraid you would die, and when I felt like that I prayed. I asked God to spare you because I realized something awful-I'd never talked to you about my Lord.**
Sunny shifted uncomfortably, not sure she liked the direction of this conversation. "You believe like your folks do, right?" Sunny said this hoping that Holly would simply agree and drop the whole discussion.
"Yes, but I don't base my belief on my parents' convictions; I base it on the Bible." Holly lifted the book and read.uThis is from 1 John 2, verses 1 and 2. *My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And he is the propitiation for our sins, and not for our sins only, but also for the sins of the whole world.'
"I've heard you tell Mummy that Jesus Christ isn't God, but it says here that He's righteous, and I know He couldn't be righteous, utterly sinless, unless He is God." Holly became a little excited, and anything Sunny might have said was put aside in the light of a rather adamant Holly.
**He died to save us, a horrid death on the cross," she went on passionately. "And your unbelief is like a slap in the face to Him. You run all over trying to hide from what you know must be true but are too full of pride to accept.**
Holly was really worked up now, and Sunny was hurt by her words. Still, she said nothing.
"I know people think I'm featherheaded, but I've got a peace and contentment that you can't even grasp. Now this last time-you snuck off to the mill and came home so tired that your body couldn't even fight the cold you caught.Tou almost died. Sunny?Holly nearly shouted at her. "And then where would you have been? I'll tell you where-in hell-separated from God forever!**
Holly's chest heaved for a moment, and she continued a bit more softly. "I didn't think it was possible for a person to care like I do about you. I love my parents, but you're so dear to me, Sunny, that I can't even express it. I know that you think we go into our graves and sleep for all time, but you're wrong. When we die we must face God as our Savior or our Judge."
"And what if you're wrong?" Sunny interrupted, her voice subdued.
"Then I have nothing to lose. I'll just sleep forever in my grave," Holly spoke calmly, prepared for the question. "On the other hand, if I'm right, and I believe I am, you've got everything to lose."
The two stared at each other for long minutes, and then Sunny watched as Holly's eyes filled with tears. "Have you really heard anything I've said to you, Sunny? Have you heard anythinganyonehas said to you since you came to England? Or are you going to be off on another flight-of-fancy in the next few weeks? Chasing after some
242
dream that can't bring you lasting joy or fulfillment because the only One who can do that is God's Son."
If Holly hoped Sunny would repent of her sins on the spot, she was to be disappointed. Holly went on to tell Sunny that she would love her no matter what, but that in the future she was not goingtobe timid about her faith. If Sunny wanted to talk, she would know that Holly was there.
Sunny thanked her for explaining and made her way to the house and then to her room, where she sat in a chair, deep in thought, for nearly an hour. After supper she returned to her room as soon as she ate. Again she sat, and would have co
ntinued to do so, but Mrs. Boots and Christie came along, ducking over her not being ready for bed.
Staying quiet because she saw that her mistress was preoccupied, Christie brushed Sunny's hair out. Christie left her sitting in a chair once again, the bedside lantern turned high. Not until the door dosed did Sunny show any sign of life.
Taking the lantern with her, she rose and went to her dresser. In the top drawer were her treasures: the box from the emir; the rope star Kyle had given her on the ship, three years ago already; letters from Miles, Brandon, and Heather; and on the bottom, the Bible Rand had given her for her birthday last year. She lifted it out, and in doing so, her eyes landed once more on the jewel box.
"If Holly is right, then we're all lost, Indira and Rashad-all of us." Sunny stood in the dim room and looked up. She knew that Rand, Chelsea, and all the family bowed their heads when they prayed, but Sunny wanted to look upward.
"I've never even tried to talk with You because I don't believe You're there, but now I'm not sure. I'm afraid You are there, and that You're angry because IVe been so willful."
Feeling quite foolish for speaking into the air, Sunny stopped for a moment. But something compelled her to go on. "Holly said I would have everything to lose if she is right, but how can I know? Brandon is so sure he's going to see the duke. I can see the peace in his eyes when he talks of it, but I just don't know if I can force a belief that simply isn't there.'*
Sunny fell silent then and looked back at the Bible. She had never read Genesis as the duke had suggested. She knew something of the Bible's account of creation, but her memory was vague. Moving the lantern again, this time back by the bed, Sunny settled
243
down to read. She opened to the first page and read, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth....**
Sunny read for the next four hours. She pored over the pages of Scripture. Noah, Abraham, Lot, Sarah, Isaac, Esau, Jacob, and Joseph all leapt off the pages at her. They were people whom God loved and were created by Him, and when they loved and obeyed Him in return, He showered them with blessings, even amid the harsh times.
Sunny was most taken with Joseph. Finally, in the last chapter of Genesis, when she thought he would have his revenge on his brothers for the awful things they had done, he offered them forgiveness. Joseph believed that God used his brothers* treachery so he would be in the place where he could best serve God.
And what about Ahmad Khan's deceit?Sunny found hersdf asking.Would I offer him forgiveness? What if his actions were God's way of bringing me to Him? No one in Darhabar would have told me what Holly did today, or what Rand and Brandon have been saying for years. O God,Sunny tried to pray again.I don't know how to believe. I mean, what ifTou're really there and all this time Pve-
Tears streamed down Sunny's face, and she thought her heart would break as all her doubts continued to mount within her. She knew it was very late, but she had to see Holly. She had to tell her she couldn't believe even though she now wanted to do so. Without bothering with her robe, she raced from her room and down the hall.
Sunny wrenched the door open without knocking, and Holly sat up with a start. The room was black, but Sunny's voice told Holly in an instant that she was upset.
**I don't know how, Holly," Sunny cried. "All this time I've run away and now there's nothing there. I want to know your God, but I don't know how.** Sunny sobbed harshly into her hands while Holly lit the lantern and came to her. She put her arms around the other girl and held her dose.
"Come over to the bed,** Holly coaxed. "We can talk over there."
Sunny was willing to be led, and they'd just settled against the headboard when Chelsea's shadow fell over the bed. She carried her own lantern and placed it on the floor before leaning against Holly's footboard.
"Everything you said today was true,** Sunny cried. "I've never
244
wanted to admit that I was afraid to die and that I am filled with pride. I read the entire book of Genesis just now. I thought I might be like Joseph, who believed God's hand had been in control at all time, but when I tried to pray, I just didn't know how. I just-w
Sunny couldn't go on, and her family let her cry. She sobbed for some minutes, and when she began to calm, Chelsea's loving voice came through to her.
"I think you need to ask God to help you believe, Sunny. There isn't anyone who wants you to believe more than He does, and I know He's just waiting to hear the sound of your voice.**
"But Chelsea, I didn't believe for so long, and I don't think He wants me now."
"You couldn't be more wrong, love. God is so patient. He longs for you to turn to Him, and I promise you, you'll not be rejected."
Sunny looked at Chelsea and then at Holly, who still had an arm around her. She lifted her face to the ceiling, her eyes young and earnest as she spoke.
"I want to know You're there. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn and blind to Your presence. I know I sin, and I want to believe that I can have eternal life.** Sunny hesitated, and when she spoke again her voice was filled with wonder.
"Your Son, Your holy Son provided the way, and I want to know Him. Rand said He died for me before I was even born, and I want to believe that, God. I have so many doubts and questions, but I can't go on my own any longer. Please help me believe; please help me to find You."
With a little help from Holly, Sunny placed her life in God's hands. She confessed her need for a Savior and asked Him to be her Lord. Just as Chelsea had stated, Sunny asked God to help her believe, and believe she did. After she prayed, the three of them read in the book of John where Christ was hung on a cross for the sins of all men.
Tears streamed down the faces of all three women as they discussed the magnitude of this love God showed to all mankind. Sunny read the words with new insight and love. Her heart filled with questions and joy.
It was in the wee hours of the morning that Chelsea and Sunny went back to their own beds, but that didn't stop Chelsea from waking Rand and telling him of Sunny's decision. His strong arms trembled as
245
they hugged her, and tired as they were, Chelsea and Rand took a few moments to pray and thank God for His saving love.
When Chelsea had Men asleep, Rand slipped from the bed and made his way to Sunny's room. He placed his lantern on her night-stand and stared at her as she slept. He knelt next to the bed, and it was some moments before he even felt the tears that rolled down his
face.
Oheavenly Father,Rand prayed in his heart.Thank Ton for making her Tour own. Thank Ton for Tour patience and, all-encompassing love. Tou are so faithful. Lord. I knew such happiness when she came back from Darhabar, but nothing compares to this joy, Lord. Thank Tou, Father; thank Tou, Lord.
Rand's heart was too full to go on, but it didn't matter. A moment later he saw that Sunny's eyes were open and she was smiling at him. They moved simultaneously, and in an instant Sunny was wrapped in Rand's embrace. It was tempting to talk for hours, but Rand kept it brief.
"Welcome to the family, Sunny.**
"Oh, Rand," Sunny breathed. "It's real. Jesus Christ really is God's Son, and He loved me enough to die for me." Sunny could
not continue.
After another great hug, Rand pressed a gentle kiss to his sister's brow and rose from the bed. With a promise that they would talk in the morning, he left her to once again find her rest.
It was very late before Sunny woke the next morning. Someone had opened her curtains, and without rising from the bed, Sunny prayed as a new child of God.
"O God," Sunny spoke softly in the quiet room, not knowing what else to say. "Thank You," she finally managed, so overcome with peace over this renewing of her life. For long minutes she simply lay and thought about her life. She reflected on her restless spirit and the emptiness she had always known. And then with peaceful ease, her mind moved to the night before. She contemplated how all the emptiness had been swept away, to be replaced by God and the knowledge of His love for
her.
246
When Sunny did rise, it was with a delight and purpose such as she'd never experienced before. After she had learned that she could be financially free her entire life, she had been relieved. Now, however, she was a new creature in Christ and was just beginning to understand the true meaning of freedom.
in the hours and days to follow, Sunny constantly pored over her Bible. Unlike other times in her life when she ran from one whimsical pursuit to the next, she knew that Jesus Christ was there to stay.
Both Rand and Chelsea warned her that she might not always be excited to read her Bible and pray. "But whenever you feel that way," Rand told her, "those are the first things you should do. If you don't feel like praying, pray. If you don't feel like studying your Bible, get reading."
Sunny, in her newfound standing as a child of God, could not imagine such a feeling. She was like a sponge these days, taking in every word. Although she had never before been excited when Rand led the family in Bible study on Sunday nights, Sunny was now bursting with thoughts and questions.
As she studied on her own, the book of Hebrews swiftly became a favorite of hers. In the thirteenth chapter, Sunny found a verse she felt God had written just for her. It said, "Let your manner of life be without covetousness, and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
This verse became so dear to Sunny that it was the first she memorized. Years of searching and emptiness were wiped away as Christ filled her with joy and contentment. Rand, Chelsea, and Holly were all a tremendous help as Sunny discovered more about God and His Son every day.
Not everyone in the family was doing as well as Sunny in her brand-new life, however. It was at this same time, when Sunny felt
248
more alive than ever before, that Brandon felt as if his own life were, coming apart at the seams.
The Duke of Briscoe, who felt as though all he did lately was sit at his desk working over the estate accounts, was glad to have Parks interrupt him. He was even more pleased when it was with the news that Dinah had come to call.