“If you care about me, then just run away with me!” Lazlo pleaded with me. “What are you gonna do with Max, anyway? Just open the door to the building and wish him luck?”
“No. ” I looked away from him, knowing he wouldn’t react well when he found out that I’d talked to Blue and Tatum, but not him. “Blue and Tatum are helping me get in the building. Tatum is helping them break out of here, and Blue’s gonna take Max back to the compound with London. ”
“Blue is taking care of Max?” Lazlo tried not to sound hurt, but he was far too transparent.
“Yeah. He’s good with a gun, he’s a doctor, and I didn’t want to put you in anymore danger than you need to be,” I said. “You and Harlow will be safe here. ”
“You expect me just to stay in this stupid trailer while they’re in that building, killing you?” He shook his head. “No way, Remy. No way!” He got up out of the bed, angrily pulling on his boxers. “I won’t let you do this! I can’t let you do this!”
“It’s already done!” I shouted. “We’re going just before dawn. ”
“Tonight?” He gaped at me. “You’re going tonight?” I nodded. “Oh my god. You weren’t gonna tell me, were you?”
“I just thought it would be easier,” I tried to explain.
“Oh my god. ” He ran a hand through his hair and looked away from me. “I just told you I loved you, and you didn’t say anything! You were just gonna leave me forever!”
“Lazlo, it’s not like that. ” I got out of bed, wrapping the sheet around me, and walked over to him. He stood with his back against the wall, refusing to look at me, and tears were standing in his dark eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt you. ” I reached out to touch him, and he pushed my hand away. “Lazlo, please. ” I put my hand on his chest, staring up at him with tears in my own eyes. “You’re going to be the last person I ever love. ”
“I don’t know why you say that like it should comfort me,” he said thickly.
“Because it comforts me. ” I felt his heart, beating erratically under my hand. Finally, he looked down at me.
“I wouldn’t have survived without you. You saved my life like fifty times. Even when you weren’t literally dodging a bullet for me, you gave me a reason to keep fighting. What am I supposed to do if you go?”
“You’re stronger than you think,” I forced a smile at him. “You saved my life, too. ”
“Remy, you can’t save the world,” he said plaintively.
“I have to try. So many people have died, and I couldn’t do anything. If I didn’t do this, if I just let Max die, or if I just let everyone else die, I couldn’t live with myself. I can barely sleep as it is. ” I looked up at him, begging him to understand. “I don’t have a choice. At least, not one that I can live with. ”
“You’re really gonna leave in a few hours?” Lazlo asked, and I nodded. “I should spend that time arguing and trying to change your mind, but… I guess I’m too selfish. If I only have a few hours to be with you, then… I just wanna be with you. ” He leaned forward, kissing me softly.
The front door slammed loudly, startling us. I pulled open the pocket door and peered down the hallway. Nobody was in there, but a new pile of clothes had been discarded at the end of the hall.
“Harlow,” I sighed.
Lazlo offered to talk to her, but I figured that I should. I pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could, and I pushed open the front door, preparing to launch a manhunt to find her. Instead, I found her sitting on the front steps, her arms crossed over her knees.
“How could you do that?” Harlow asked quietly.
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“I’m sorry. ” Tentatively, I sat down on the step next to you. “I know that you liked Lazlo-”
“No, I don’t care about you sleeping with him,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean, yeah, I liked him, but I’m over it. I overheard you talking to him. ” She looked at me, her eyes sad in the fading light. “You were gonna leave without saying goodbye. ”
“I didn’t know how to. I thought it’d be easier on you guys. ” I shook my head.
“You thought disappearing would be easier?” Harlow looked at me skeptically. “After all the people I’ve lost who I never got to say goodbye to?”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” I sighed. “I had a lot in my mind, I guess. ”
“You’re gonna trade places with your brother?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I have to. ”
“I don’t want you to,” Harlow said quietly.
“I know,” I said. “But this is a nice place here, for you. You’ve got stuff to do here and friends, and that Bishop lady likes you. ” I lowered my voice a little bit, knowing that Lazlo was probably eavesdropping. “And Lazlo needs you. He needs someone to take care of him. ”
“Your brother must be some special kid,” Harlow sighed, playing with the hem of her skirt. “If you’re leaving a guy who loves you, and you know, risking your own life. ”
“Yeah, he is,” I admitted. “But it’s not just him. It’s because I care about you guys. I’ve tried to protect you since the day I met you. That’s not changing now. ”
“Will I ever see you again?” she asked.
“Honestly, I really don’t know. ”
Without warning, she threw her arms around me and hugged me to her. I hugged her back, and realized this was so much harder than I thought it would be.
After she calmed down, we went back inside. She took a shower, and I went back to the bedroom. Lazlo didn’t say much, so I lay down with him. He wrapped his arm around me, holding me so close it hurt, but I didn’t complain.
Neither of us slept all night, and I don’t think Harlow did either. When it came time for me to go, Lazlo refused to let go of me at first. Finally, I untangled myself from him, and got ready.
– 22 –
The plan changed. I quickly figured it would work better involving more people, so I enlisted Harlow and Lazlo to help. Well, Lazlo actually insisted that he be part of it.
The quarantine was completely dark, except for the streetlights, and I don’t think anyone else was awake. We met Tatum outside the mess hall, and he and Lazlo eyed each other up for almost a full minute before I made them stop.
Two soldiers were guarding the door to the building, but they didn’t look very alert. The new, revised plan called for a diversion in the form of Harlow. While we snuck off into the shadows, she started yelling for help. The two soldiers immediately rushed over to see what was going on.
As soon as they were gone, Lazlo and I followed Tatum over to the door. He punched in the key code, and we all ran inside. I’m not sure what Harlow told them exactly, but it didn’t matter anymore.
It occurred to me when we went through the doors that this would be the last time that I’d ever be outside. Tatum and Lazlo started hurrying down the hall, but I stood there for a moment, saying goodbye to all the freedom I had once cherished.
“Remy,” Tatum stopped. “Are you coming?”
“Maybe she’s changing her mind,” Lazlo said hopefully.
“No, I’m good. ” I shook it off and turned to run after them.
Tatum got us to the first door, and Blue had given me the key codes for the next floor. He was supposed to already be up on the third floor, getting things ready. Tatum had only gone with us in case somebody caught us, he could come up with some kind of excuse.
“Is everything ready?” I asked him when we reached the door to the second floor stairwell.
“I’ve got a truck and weapons for him, and I convinced the guy running the gate that I’m supposed to do a perimeter check as part of my punishment,” Tatum nodded. “All Blue has to do is come out and get in the truck. ”
“Did you get Ripley yet?” I asked. I had told Blue to take Ripley with them. She was really good at saving people from zombies, and she didn’t belong in a cage.
“No. I’m not touching that thing until Blue gets
out,” Tatum shook his head. “He can handle her. ”
“Thank you,” I smiled at him.
“Hey,” Tatum grabbed my wrist, gently to get my attention. Lazlo saw and moved in closer to me, but he didn’t say anything. Tatum kept his eyes locked on me. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I lied.
I didn’t want to do this. Being locked in a building, getting medical tests run on me until I died, did not sound like the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life. But I had to do what I had to do.
“If you ever change your mind, I’ll bust you out of there,” Tatum promised me.
“Thanks, but I won’t. And I couldn’t even tell you if I did,” I pointed out.
“I’ll see you again. I’ll find ways to see you. Trust me. ” Tatum gave me a cocky grin. “And I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. ”
“We should probably get going,” Lazlo interjected. “Before someone sees us. ”
Tatum sighed, then shot a glare at Lazlo before punching in the code. The door clicked open, and I raced up the stairs before Tatum could make any more promises.
Lazlo and I made it through the second floor without any problems. The entire floor was dead silent, and as long as we were quiet, no one would see us.
The third floor was almost pitch black. They had turned all the lights off, probably because nobody stayed up here at night except my brother. The door to his room was propped open with a tennis shoe, and we crept down the hall, I peered in through the crack. Blue was already hurriedly unhooking IVs and getting Max ready to go.
“Remy!” Max smiled when he saw me. He’d been lying on a small cot pressed up against a wall. He lived in this tiny room full of equipment.
“Hey buddy,” I walked over to him and tried to smile. “Did Blue tell you what’s going on?”
“He said that we’re going on a trip,” Max said. “But you’re not coming with. ”
“No, I can’t go. But Blue is a really good doctor, and he’s gonna take you to a nice place that we stayed at for a while. ” I crouched down in front of him. He had no color in his skin, and when I touched his arm, it felt cool. “How are you feeling?”
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“Tired,” he said and yawned loudly.
“How is he doing?” I looked up at Blue, who was winding a cord up.
“I don’t know. ” Blue shook his head. “I don’t know exactly what they’ve been doing to him. If I’d had more time, I could’ve found out more. ”
“I don’t think we have more time,” I said quietly, looking at how frail Max looked.
“Do I know you?” Max squinted at Lazlo, who had been standing awkwardly behind me.
“Nah, I don’t think so,” Lazlo shook his head.
“Okay. ” Blue clicked something on the monitor by the cot and looked down at me. “He’s all ready to go. And I don’t mean to rush you, but we should probably get going while we can. ”
“Yeah, you’re right. ” I forced a smile at Max. “Listen. Blue is gonna take really good care of you, but you need to do what he says, okay? And you have to be really careful and really strong for me, okay?”
“Okay,” Max nodded, but he could barely keep his eyes open. Dark circles rested underneath them. “Are you gonna meet us there?”
“I don’t think so, buddy,” I brushed the hair from his forehead. “But I love you, okay? Don’t you ever forget that. I love you more than anything in the world. ”
“I love you too. ”
I hugged him tightly to me, hating how small and thin he felt, but loving holding him in my arms. Tears stung my eyes. This would be the last time I’d ever be able to hug him, and it broke my heart. Even though I was doing it for him, and it was the best thing I could do, it still killed.
“Can you stand up, Max?” I asked when I let go of him.
“I think so,” he nodded, but when he tried to get his feet, he almost fell over. I started to pick him up, but Blue reached for him.
“I got him,” Blue said, lifting him up. He was going to be the one carrying him out of here, the one taking care of him from now on. Max laid his head on his shoulder, looping his arms loosely around Blue’s neck.
“Um, so… Tatum has everything ready,” I said, fighting back tears. “And don’t forget to get Ripley. She’s invaluable, but Tatum is afraid of her. ” Lazlo made a scoffing sound, but I ignored him. “He has guns and everything, but don’t stop unless you have to. Go straight to the compound with London. I know they have marauders there, but I think that’s the safest place. ”
“I know,” Blue nodded.
“And you’ll take good of him, right?” I reached out and gently rubbed Max’s back. He was already asleep, and I tried not to let that scare me.
“Yes, I’ll take very good care of him,” Blue promised me. I looked up at him, and I knew he would. He was risking everything to take him out of here.
“Thank you,” I swallowed hard. “If I can ever repay you…”
“I think you already are,” he smiled sadly at me. “But we have to go. ”
“Yeah, go,” I nodded towards the door.
“You coming, Lazlo?” Blue asked, walking towards the door.
“Yeah, you go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute,” Lazlo said. Blue waited a minute, looking uncertainly.
“I’ll tell him the codes. You go,” I told him.
Blue left, taking my little brother with him, and I let out a shaky breath. Everything I had done since the virus had broken out had been for Max. Before then, I had always kind of looked out for him, but I had my own life. But then when everyone started dying, and I saw our parents murdered by zombies, I just… my whole life became about protecting my brother.
But I couldn’t do that anymore. This was the last thing I could ever do for him, and I had to trust that he could be okay without me.
“We can go with them,” Lazlo said, watching me stare after Blue and Max. “We could go right now. ”
“No, it’s too late,” I shook my head and looked at him. “You know I can’t. ”
“I don’t want you die in here. ” His dark eyes were begging me to leave with him.
“Maybe I won’t. I mean, if anybody can survive this, it’s me, right?” I smirked at him.
“I know you’re joking, but it’s also true. ” He took my hands in his, squeezing them tightly. “I’ll be right outside. Okay? I’ll stay right here, in this quarantine, for as long as you do. And I promise you that when you’re ready, when you’ve had enough, when they’ve had enough, I’ll come and get you out. ”
“Okay,” I nodded.
He put his hand on my cheek, using his thumb to brush away a tear, then he leaned in to kiss me. When he stopped, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. I put my hand on his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath it.
“You should go. I don’t want you getting caught. ” I swallowed hard. “It’d make it harder for you to break in to see me again. ”
“I will be back,” Lazlo promised.
“I know,” I smiled.
When he left, I leaned back against the door, gasping for breath. This hurt so much more than I thought it would. I was so much more afraid too. I stared at the small white room, knowing this might be my home for the rest of my life.
Unless they found a cure first. Or I just got too fed up, and took Tatum and Lazlo up on their offers. As much as this sucked, maybe it didn’t have to be forever.
I waited a half hour, hoping that gave Blue enough time to get out of here. Then I pushed the button by the door, the one that would summon soldiers and doctors. I went over and sat in the dentist chair in the middle of the room, and I waited to see how the rest of my life would begin.
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