The Rock
“Is that idiot still in the waiting room?”
“Yes Sir,” claimed Corporal Jones, “he's still there and still demanding to see the commander.”
“The Colonel wants him got rid of, and if it weren't for the damn reporters outside I'd just throw him out the door. Send him in to see me. Oh and by the way Sergeant, bring me and only me a large coffee.”
“Yes Sir.”
A few minutes later a young man was ushered into Colonel Brown's office and told to sit in the wooden chair in front of the desk.
As Colonel Brown entered his office with his steaming cup of coffee he snapped, “What's your name and why are you here.”
“Well Sir, I'm Jim Blanchard, and I'm sure I have a solution to the problem that our security forces have when dealing with those shit faced rioters!”
“Look punk, the best and the brightest, which you ain't one of have worked on that problem for years.”
“Sir if you'll listen to me for a few minutes, I'll outline the problem and solution. If you can't do that then my next step is the press, and they know I'm here.”
“SERGEANT, GET A CLERK AND GET IN HERE. Now you dog turd, you get to tell your theory and hypothesis, then I'm going to have the Sergeant escort you to the door. I'll send your shit theory up the chain of command to satisfy your over inflated ego, where they'll shit can it.”
Jim sat straight in the uncomfortable wood chair and with a gleam in his eye said, “Fair enough.”
The Sergeant entered with a female clerk. She grabbed the other chair and sat down pulling out her steno pad. “Sir, I'm prepared to record the proceedings now.”
The Colonel replied, “This individual thinks he has a solution for handling the rioters. Record his comments and type them up. Send one copy to Colonel Briggs, one to me, send one to the JAG, and file one. OK Blanchard, state your name and other contact information and then start.”
“Thank you Sir. The first time I remember the press making a big international incident out of a member of the border patrol using a firearm against a rock throwing individual, the kid was killed by a bullet and the press ignored the fact that a thrown rock can also kill.
“Terrorist use people throwing rocks to cause disruptions so their mobs can get good press when the police or military return fire with nonlethal weapons like gas or rubber bullets.
“It's about time that this bull shit gets turned around. I've developed a prototype rock launcher that can be easily carried and loaded quickly with any type rock from two inches in diameter to one the size of a paving stone. One man can operate it and launch rocks back against the rioters at a rate of one every four seconds. A pair of individuals working together can launch one rock a second. The launcher is so simple that anyone with half a brain can make something similar in a couple of hours.
“The great thing about it is the fact that you can aim it and hit a man size target at 20 meters. The press of course will claim you caused casualties. The sweet thing about the official reply is that you simply launched the rocks that were thrown at the police or soldiers were launched back at the rioters.”
“Is that your great idea,” said the Colonel.
“Now send that up the chain of command and lets see what they think about that. I'm sure the damn lawyers will have fun.” And then with a sneer Blanchard stated, “After all you are simply returning the same rocks that were thrown at your personnel. If those same rocks kill a few of the rioters then the press can't gripe to loudly about your personnel shooting poor innocent protesters, can they? I'll wait 30 days and then be back. I don't want to be pestered by anyone until this is either approved or rejected. Oh, and by the way I'll start checking your window in about two weeks. If I see a silhouette target in your window I'll launch my reply from outside the base. The fence is only a hundred and sixteen feet to the east, so I'd move my desk out of the way. See you then.” Getting up Jim said, “Sergeant would you please escort me out. And Colonel you'll be hearing about me. Next week I'll be in DC and I'll be breaking a few windows. After all the pentagon is a much bigger target, you may add that to the end of my report if you want to.”