“God, that’s kind of suck for Shaw-the whole Gavin seeing Vee thing and people thinking the worse.” I smoothed my hand over his jaw. “So you’ve known Shaw that long?”
He turned his head, kissing the center of my palm. “Yeah, he came around a few times after… Penn. I think its because he isn’t close to Gavin, so he was helping me when he probably want to help Gavin. And he did help.”
I smiled. “I’m happy to hear that. I didn’t know that you were having problems.”
“I know you think I didn’t feel anything just because I don’t think of it the way you do, but that shit with Penn tore me up for a while.” His gaze was back to mine. “I know you don’t like to talk about Penn, but you’ve got to understand, we didn’t do that to him.” He caught my chin as I started to look away, forcing my eyes on his. “I’m not saying we were completely devoid of responsibility. We weren’t. But we were just kids. We made a stupid decision and Penn… God, as much as I miss him, he had problems. You know he did, Ella. It went beyond what was happening at school.”
I drew in a deep breath, causing my chest to press against his. Penn did have problems, bouts of extreme hyper happiness and then long stretches of sullen moods. The crap at school and his parents fighting hadn’t been the catalyst for the behavior switches. Sometimes it would happen when he was with us and nothing had gone wrong. Dr. Oliver once told me that he believed Penn may have suffered from depression-a disorder aggravated from outside influences-and that if he’d gotten help, things most likely would’ve been different. I’d never really took those words to hurt, thinking someone that young couldn’t suffer that way, but that was dumb. Depression could strike at any age really, but Penn always seemed to bounce back from whatever was plaguing him. Not a day went by without him smiling.
“I know,” I whispered.
“We were the icing on the cake. You know? That’s all we were. I’m not saying if he had gotten help or if we had seen the signs, it wouldn’t have turned out differently, but we didn’t put the belt around his neck,” he said in a quiet, serious tone. “We didn’t bully him. We made a stupid call. And I do hate that we were the icing, but we were not the cause of what he did.”
I thought about what Jensen said, I really thought about it. That he and I were icing on a fucked up cake, nothing more and nothing less. The decision we had made had been wrong, but Jensen was right-so was Dr. Oliver and my Mom and Dad. We didn’t put that belt on him.
And for some reason I thought of the psycho-the monster, the whatever-that was stalking our town. Whoever it was behind it was also solely responsible for his own actions. Not me when he tried to grab me. Not Vee. And not Monica or Wendy. Tears crept up my throat.
“Ella?”
I blinked away the wetness. “I don’t know if I’ll ever not feel guilty, but you’re right. We didn’t do it. We made a shitty choice, but we didn’t do it.”
“We didn’t,” he repeated softly.
It wasn’t like the angel suddenly appeared, harking and glowing and whatever it was that they did. There was no big realization. Just a little bit of the pressure I carried with me since Penn’s death easing off. Not a lot, but some. I guess it was a start.
It was something.
“You were distracted earlier,” he said, trailing a finger over the bridge of my nose.
Before Jensen had handed me off to the punching bag, we practiced evasive techniques, but admittedly, my head had not been in it. “I was thinking about Wendy.”
Jensen didn’t respond immediately. “I’ve been thinking about her, too. We weren’t close, like we didn’t um…”
“Talk?” I supplied.
“Yeah. That.” Holy crap on a chip, the centers of his cheeks actually pinked. “We didn’t talk a lot and I know she could be a terror when she wanted to be, but she’s a good girl underneath it all. I hope they find her and I hope she’s okay.”
“Me too.” I obviously wasn’t close to her, but it didn’t change the fact I prayed she showed up tomorrow or something. “I was also thinking about Gavin-about his car and what they did.”
“It’s messed up.”
“It really is,” I said, once again wishing there was something that I could do.
“Maybe after I drop you off at Linds’, I’ll swing by Gavin’s,” he suggested. “Talk to him.”
Surprised, I stared up at him. That was so going to be an awkward time, but the fact that Jensen was willing to go where he was not wanted to make sure Gavin was okay warmed me in a way very few things could.
That swelling was back, along with that haunting four letter word. “Thank you.” I stretched my neck, kissing the corner of his lips.
Jensen’s eyes held mine for a moment and then moved up my body, slanting his head so our lips lined up. He kissed me gently, and a shudder rolled through me. There was something infinitely tender in the way he coaxed my lips open. My arms looped around his neck as air caught in my throat.
The kisses changed and deepened into a slow-burning caress, sending shivers all over me. When he left my mouth and dropped hot little kisses down my throat, my insides were sweltering. His hand traveled to my hip and my fingers moved through his hair, letting the silky locks sift through my fingers.
A deep sound rumbled up from his chest. “God, you have no idea what you do to me.”
“I don’t think you know either,” I whispered, my lips feeling swollen and warm.
“We can show each other.” The teasing returned to his voice. “Right now.”
“I don’t think these rooms were meant for this.” I willed my heart to slow before I had a heart attack.
“We can be its first.”
I laughed softly, feeling light. “I don’t think so.”
“Damn.” He kissed the tip of my nose and then rose off me. Rolling to his feet, he took my hands and hauled me up as he stood. “Come on.”
We straightened up, turned off the lights, and I waited just outside the doors as he locked up. Jensen grabbed my hand, pulling me toward his chest. Over his shoulder, I could see that a couple of the doors to the other rooms were open. My gaze drifted back to his. The expression on his face was serious.
“What?” I asked.
His arms wrapped loosely around me. “I don’t like what’s going down tonight.”
“Me staying with Linds?”
“Yeah.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “No one’s there but you and her. With everything going on, it worries me.”
“I’ll be fine.” I tapped his cheek with my fingers. “She has an alarm system. It’ll be turned on. Besides, everyone-including me-was by themselves when… well, when it happened.”
“I know, but maybe I should come over, too.” He caught my hand, pressing his lips to the tips of my fingers. The tiny, innocent kisses caused my heart to skip a beat. “It could be a really interesting slumber party.”
I laughed, pulling my hand free. “Oh my God, you’re such a perv. No.”
“I wasn’t talking about that.” He waggled his brows, and on anyone else, it looked ridiculous, but he managed to make it look strangely hot. “Although-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.”
Laughing softly, he dropped his arm around my shoulder, tucking me against his side as we headed toward the entrance. “But seriously, I would feel better if I was there.”
“I know, but since everything has happened, Linds and I haven’t spent any time together. And I even think Heidi is coming over. We need this.” I pushed open the door, glancing up at the cloudless sky. “A girls’ night.”
Jensen still wasn’t happy, but he relented when I promised to keep in contact, lock doors and windows, set the alarm, hide the kids, and all sharp objects. We swung by my house to grab some clothes and check in with Mom. When he dropped me off in Linds’ development, he leaned in, giving me a not so quick kiss that left me rethinking the whole inviting him.
He drew back, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “Text me later, okay?”
>
“I will.” I started to pull away, but then kissed his cheek. “Let me know how things go with Gavin.”
“Will do.”
I climbed out, grabbing my tote full of clothes and stuff. Giving Jensen a little wave, I headed up Linds’ driveway. Her neighborhood was newer and nicer than mine, each house built within the last decade, and had the whole Stepford Wives thing going on.
Without looking behind me, I knew Jensen was still at the bottom of the driveway, waiting for me to head inside. As I crossed the neatly trimmed yard, the front door opened.
“Perfect timing,” Linds said, stepping aside and holding the door open. “I just ordered pizza. Extra mushrooms.”
“You rock.”
Linds’ gaze flicked over my shoulder. “You know, he’s allowed to come in.”
“I know, but we haven’t spent a lot of time together. So boys not allowed.”
She shrugged as she closed the door. “Yeah, what happened to that whole being single our senior year? Apparently, I’m the only one following that.”
My grin turned sheepish. “Sorry, but I…”
“I wouldn’t turn down Jensen either.” Pulling a hair tie off her wrist, she pulled her tight curls up into a ponytail. “He could eat crackers and Chinese food in my bed, and I’ll be all right with that.”
I giggled. “At the same time?”
“Yep.” She sat on the arm of the sectional couch. Linds’ parents had very minimalistic tastes. Unlike Jensen’s house or mine, there was nothing cluttered. Everything had a place, and was either black, white, or beige.
I was always afraid of ruining the furniture.
“So you guys talked it all out?” she asked.
Dropping my bag on the shiny hardwood floors, I filled Linds in on everything, stopping when the pizza arrived, and continued as we demolished the large pepperoni and extra mushroom goodness.
“I didn’t know about his brother,” she said, frowning. “How did none of us know about his brother?”
“I don’t know.” I rubbed my full belly. “God, I wish I did. I feel so bad for Jensen and his family, having to go through that mostly alone.”
“Yeah, but he could’ve told you what was up. You guys were best friends for so long. So don’t feel too guilty about that.” She stood, dropping a black and white checkered pillow on the couch. “I mean, I get why it’s not something one would want to broadcast to the world, but he could’ve told you. Would’ve saved a lot of pain.”
True, but I hadn’t really given him the chance either when it mattered most. There was nothing I could do about that now, and my decision to stop living in the past meant that I had to stop dwelling on it.
“Hey, where’s Heidi?” I asked, changing the subject.
She shrugged. “I have no idea. She didn’t respond to my text. You know, I’m too ‘high strung’ for her.”
I rolled my eyes as I stood. “She’s never said that.”
Linds crossed her arms.
“Okay, she might have said something like that.” Glancing at the time, I sighed. It was already past eight, and I doubted Heidi would come out. “I’ll text her, but do you mind if I take a shower real quick? Jensen and I-”
“Worked up a sweat?” Her eyes widened. “Did you guys have sex before you came over?”
“Oh, my God, no.” I laughed. “We were at the warehouse. The whole self-defense thing.”
“Uh-huh. I’m beginning to think the whole self-defense lesson thing is code word for sex.”
“Whatever.” I tossed a pillow at her.
She caught it, grinning. “Yeah. Use my parents’ though. My bathroom is a hot mess.”
“No surprise there.” I grabbed my bag off the floor, smiling at the dirty look she sent my way. “I like your parents’ bathroom anyway. The shower could fit like five people.”
“It’s sweet, right?” She dropped the pillow on the couch. “I’ll go make us some popcorn. And dip. Cheese. Dip. And you will eat. A lot.”
There was always room for cheese dip.
Hurrying up the wide staircase, I headed down the hall toward her parents’ master bedroom. The double white doors were open and the room smelled like fresh linen. I stepped into the adjoining bathroom, sighing.
The shower had three separate showerheads. Heaven.
I sat my bag on the tiled ledge around the Jacuzzi tub and dragged out my shower stuff, fresh clothes, and an old terry cloth robe that reached my thighs. Since I was normally too lazy to towel myself off, I sort of enjoyed dripping dry.
Stripping off my clothes, I rolled them up in a messy ball and shoved them back in my tote. I reached in the gap between the wall and the blurred glass doors, turning on the water. I stepped under the multiple jets, barely able to contain a groan of envious pleasure. I could live in this shower; it was that awesome.
I took my time, like I always did when I used her parents’ shower. Lazily washing the shampoo and body wash off, letting the conditioner soak longer than necessary.
But there was cheese dip waiting for me.
Tipping my head back under the overhead showerhead, I closed my eyes as the water did its thing.
I stilled, my fingers in my hair, and my eyes opened wide.
Under the steady stream of water, I wasn’t sure what I heard at first, but something had snagged my attention. Lowering my chin and my arms, I peered out the glass doors as the water beat down on me. The room was blurred, distorted through the glass.
The bathroom doors were cracked open, uneven and leaving a small gap in-between them. Tiny bumps spread across my flesh. I’d swear I’d shut them behind me, but it was possible it hadn’t latched into place…. Turning away from the doors, I quickly set about rinsing the rest of the conditioner out of my hair, hating how easily I was rattled.
Not that I doubted anyone would blame me.
The sound came again and my eyes popped wide as my heart lurched in my chest. The bathroom light flicked off, and I turned to the doors just as a dark blur passed through them. The doors eased shut. The click of it latching in place was like a crack of thunder.
My heart stopped in my chest.
“Linds?” I called out and waited.
There was no response.
My hand shook as I reached over, turning off the water. My hair was plastered to my back as I opened the shower door. Holding my breath, I quickly scanned the bathroom. “Linds?” I called out again, but would she have done this? Turned the light off on me? I didn’t think so.
Dripping on the mat, I picked up my robe and slipped it on, belting it at the waist. I crept forward, the tile cool and slippery under my feet. I stood at the door, straining to hear something, anything, but there was nothing but silence. Every muscle in my back tensed up as I grabbed the doorknob and yanked it open, coming face to face with the ghastly white mask, empty black eye holes, and the open, grotesque red smile.
Chapter 17
I jerked back out of shock, my hand falling off the door. He was here! Horror poured into my blood like an ice storm.
The mask tilted to the side as it raised a hand, waving its finger back and forth. A gruff tsking sound came from behind the mask.
Then he lurched forward.
I backpedaled, my feet slipping over the wet tile as a scream tore from my throat. A glove covered hand clamped down on my arm. I pulled back, nearly wrenching my arm from its socket.
He roared into the bathroom, a booted foot hitting one of the puddles as I twisted, ripping my arm free. The loss of contact threw him off balance, and his foot slipped on the wet tile. He went down on one knee.
I tore out of the bathroom, gripping the door and slamming it shut. As I whipped around, the doors exploded open behind me. Crap. I took another step and arms clamped down on my waist, and before I could even react, I was airborne.
I slammed into the bed, my hip hitting the bedpost. A sheet of soaked hair obscured my vision as pain knocked the air out of my lungs, but instinct was screaming through me, digging o
ut all the time I spent in the warehouse with Jensen.