Second Chances
By Alison Stanley
Copyright 2012 Alison Stanley
All Bible references are from the New International Version 1984
* * * *
Chapter 1
Rachel sat back into the seat of the swing, extending her tanned legs. The sun streamed through the trees onto her face, warming her heart. She loved coming to this park to relax and reflect on life. It was moments like this when she liked to daydream about the future husband God would bring into her life––she didn’t know when and how, but she felt certain that it would happen.
She mentally went through the checklist she had committed to memory—1. He had to be a Christian, that was non-negotiable; 2. Tall, dark and handsome; 3. Good with kids; 4. Athletic build—
“Excuse me,” interrupted a small voice. Rachel looked down and saw a little girl with wild, dark hair.
“Why are you on the little kid’s swing?” asked the girl.
“Um, sorry!” Rachel quickly got off the swing, looking around to see if anyone was watching. Fortunately the girl’s frazzled mum was caring for her other child and hadn’t noticed.
Grabbing her cardigan, Rachel began the short walk home. A quick glance at her watch showed it was nearly time for dinner. She shuddered when she remembered the assignment that was due in a couple of days, knowing she would have to start it that evening. Only one year of university left, she told herself.
She was studying a Bachelor of Teaching, but she really wasn’t passionate about it. It was just something to fill in time for a few years until she married and had kids—then she wouldn’t have to work anymore and could throw herself into school reading groups, athletics carnivals, and canteen duty.
She’d always wanted to be a mum; maybe that was why teaching seemed like the logical thing to do. However, in practice, it wasn’t like she’d imagined. She hated writing lesson plans and marking books—the only thing she enjoyed was putting stamps and stickers on the work. The supervising teachers had always been encouraging, but she wondered whether teaching was really for her.
As she approached the house, she recognised the pleasing aroma of her mum’s cooking. She entered the front door, slipping off her shoes and placing them next to her brother’s. Even though Jeremy was only ten years old, his feet were nearly as big as hers.
She helped her mum serve up dinner, setting out four plates on the table. Over dinner, her dad, a principal, shared stories about the troublesome kids at school, while Jeremy pulled faces and stuck beans up his nose—he was so embarrassing. Imagine if I ever brought a guy home for dinner, she thought.
That evening, she reluctantly pulled out her study materials and spent the next hour writing, scrapping, and then re-writing the first paragraph of her essay. Deciding it just wasn’t going to happen, she reached for her phone to call her best friend, Hannah. They had met seven years ago on Rachel’s first day of year nine at Oakley High School. Hannah had gone out of her way to befriend her, while other had kids ignored her. It had been a hard transition for Rachel, moving to the regional town of Oakley and leaving all her friends behind in Melbourne, but Hannah had made it a lot easier to adjust. She now lived in Sydney, studying fine arts at a prestigious art college. Rachel hated having her best friend living so far away, but they kept in touch frequently by phone.
Rachel could hear a lot of noise in the background as Hannah answered the phone. “Rachel, you have perfect timing. Guess what? Tim just asked me to marry him, and I said yes!”
“What!” said Rachel, caught completely off guard.
She knew this day was coming, but found it hard to be happy for her friend. I should be thrilled for her, she thought, feeling guilty. She shook off her disappointment and listened as Hannah retold the story of Tim’s proposal. It sounded perfect—a candlelit, evening picnic down by the beach, complete with wine, strawberries and chocolate. Rachel gave her congratulations and agreed to be Hannah’s bridesmaid. Hannah’s older sister, Alana, would be maid of honour.
Hannah had enough brothers and sisters to make up an entire bridal party, being one of five children. Growing up, Rachel had secretly envied Hannah’s big family. Staying over at the Johnston’s house was never dull. While she loved her parents and her brother, she had often craved the adventure and chaos that came with being part of a large family.
After saying goodnight to Hannah, Rachel switched off her lamp and buried herself under the cushions on her bed. “When will it be my turn?” she called out softly to God in the silence of her bedroom. She knew it was silly; she was only 22, but she wondered if she would always be single.
As she focused on the hazy light coming in through her window from the streetlight outside, she felt a peace come over her. It was almost as if God was giving her a hug. Flicking on her lamp, she opened up her Bible randomly, eager to find some assurance from Him. Her eyes were drawn to some words from the book of Matthew.
‘Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”’
She sighed. Would she be willing to commit everything to God, even her dreams, in order to follow Him?
* * * *
Chapter 2
Hannah woke to the sound of a garbage truck clattering down the lane next to her small rental unit. Groaning, she pulled her pillow over her head and tried to block it out the noise. Living in the city, she was used to a fair amount of commotion, but this morning her head was pounding. She shouldn’t have gone to bed so late.
As Hannah remembered the events of the previous evening, a grin spread across her face. Tim had proposed. I’m an engaged woman! She lifted her hand from beneath the covers and tried to focus on her beautiful engagement ring in the dim light. It was a beautiful square cut diamond on a platinum gold band. Tim had designed it himself. He was studying graphic design at the same art college where she studied fine arts.
As she admired the ring, her thoughts drifted back to when she first met her future husband in the campus coffee shop, two years ago. She was carrying her art portfolio under her arm and accidentally bumped into him as she entered the shop. Tim was carrying a Latté at the time. Needless to say, he had ended up very wet after that first encounter. Hannah was completely distraught, but Tim just laughed—he later joked about it being ‘Latté’ at first sight. The following week, Hannah began attending a Bible study group at her new church. Feeling quite nervous, she knocked on the door and, who should answer the door, but Tim. It turned out that he was the Bible study leader.
They had spent the past couple of years getting to know each other—first as friends, and then as a couple. Their romance had been put on hold for three months recently when Tim went overseas on a mission trip to France. He had only returned a few weeks ago and the kiss he had given her at the airport told her he never wanted to leave again.
Tim had short, dark hair and a scattering of freckles across his nose, with a mouth that could be easily persuaded to smile. He wasn’t perfect—she had spent enough time with him to know that. But then, neither was she. She thanked God again for the way He had brought the two of them together; she felt truly blessed.
Her alarm clock beeped and she thumped the snooze button so she wouldn’t wake her room-mate, Sue. After a long, luxurious shower, she took extra care with her hair and make-up, and even sprayed some perfume. She was a changed woman and she wanted the world to notice.
She had an Art History lecture at 8:00am, so she grabbed her keys and satchel, then headed out the door with a spring in her step. On the way, she purchased a takeaway coffee and croissant from her favourite bakery. The caffeine instantly soothed the dull ache in her head, which was the only thing dampening her mood. She slipped her earphones on and selected a playlist to li
sten to on her iPhone—something that would be a good soundtrack for her real-life romantic movie. She strode along the footpath to the tunes of Michael Bublé, excited about meeting up with Tim later that day. They were going to have lunch at the Campus Coffee Shop and decide on a date for the wedding.
She waited at the bus stop for the No.480 bus to Camperdown, sculling the rest of her coffee as it arrived. Even standing on the crowded bus couldn’t ruin her mood today. However, as the bus pulled up to the first set of traffic lights, what she saw out the window caused her stomach to sink.
* * * *
Chapter 3
Rachel woke to the sound of a soft knock on her bedroom door. Her mum popped her head in.
“Rachel, honey. Are you able to babysit Mrs. Phillip’s grandson this afternoon after uni? She has a doctor’s appointment and her son has to work.”
“Sure,” she answered, willing to say anything to make her mum go away so she could get a few more minutes of sleep.
She woke up an hour later and deciphered the details her mum had scrawled on a notepad in the kitchen. She had met Mrs. Phillips once before while shopping with her mum. The older woman went to church with her parents on Sunday mornings. Rachel usually went to the evening service with the other young people. She groaned when she remembered the assignment she still had to complete. She had been planning on working on it that afternoon, but that wouldn’t happen now that this babysitting job had come up.
After her university lecture, she walked up the driveway of Mrs. Phillips’ home. She admired the flowers in the garden as she rang the doorbell and waited for the woman to open the door. Instead, she heard little feet running and a voice call out, “I’LL GET IT GRANDMA.”
A little boy, with reddish-brown hair and a cute, freckle-covered nose, opened the door.
“Are you a stranger?” he asked.
“No, are you?” He seemed to ponder the question for a while until his grandma reached the door.
“Thank you, Rachel. I can’t tell you how hard it is to find a babysitter at such short notice. My son got offered an extra shift today, and I didn’t want him to turn it down. He can always use the extra money.”
“That’s fine. What time will you be back?”
Mrs. Phillips told her that she would be back before dinner and asked if she would heat up the casserole that she’d prepared earlier.
“Now, I see you have met Luke. He is four,” she stated. “Luke, this is Rachel. She is going to watch you for a couple of hours while I go to the doctor. Please be a good boy and do as she says, okay?”
“Okay, Grandma,” said Luke, nodding his head obediently.
Rachel closed the door behind Mrs. Phillips and turned to Luke.
“What would you like to do?”
“I want to play with Daddy,” said the boy.
“Oh.” She wasn’t sure how to deal with this request. “Well, your daddy is at work. Would you like to draw a picture for him? I’m sure he’d love it.”
“Yeah!” He bounced up and down excitedly.
He dragged her by the hand to a little table and a chair that was just his size. He then showed her where his grandma kept the paper and pencils.
They drew together for the next couple of hours, with the occasional break for a snack, or a toilet trip. She was having such a great time, she nearly forgot to put the casserole in the oven. Luke talked a lot about his dad, but never mentioned his mum, which Rachel thought was odd. She wondered if his mum was still in the picture or if something unfortunate had happened to her. The thought made her sad.
Luke was talented at drawing and she was admiring some pretty incredible pictures of spaceships and dinosaurs when she heard the front door open.
“We’re in here,” she called.
She heard thudding and jangling as someone stomped down the hall. Feeling her heart jump into her throat, she placed her arm protectively around Luke, wondering whether one of his pencils would make a good weapon.
“Hey, buddy,” called a masculine voice.
Rachel’s eyes widened when Luke left the safety of her arms to run towards a rough-looking guy, dressed in motorcycle gear.
“Daddeeee,” he called as he threw his arms around him.
The young man hugged his son for a few moments before noticing Rachel.
“Who are you?” he asked with a smile.
Rachel blushed as she realised the guy was actually not that much older than her, and quite good-looking.
“Uh, ah,” she said, her mouth feeling very dry. She put her pencil down, realising she was still holding it in ‘attack’ position.
Luke answered for her, “This is Rachel. She helped me draw a picture for you, see Dad.” He grabbed a piece of paper and pushed it into his dad’s hands.
“That’s really nice, Lukey.”
Rachel finally found her confidence. “Your mum asked me if I could mind Luke while she went to her appointment. She should be back soon I think.”
“I’m Nate,” he said, leaning forward to shake her hand.
As he stepped back, he scanned her from head to toe. He seemed to like what he saw. While she knew he probably wasn’t the type of guy her parents would want her to be around, she was still curious to learn more about him.
“Your mum said you had an extra shift today. What do you do for work?” she asked.
“I fix up cars,” he said. “I’ve just finished my apprenticeship at the mechanics. I started after I finished high school, right after Luke was born.”
Rachel was surprised. If Nate had finished school four years ago, he must be the same age as her. She took a closer look at him. He was tall and had reddish-brown hair like his son, though a little darker. His fingernails were caked with grease. His face was stubbly and he had dark brown eyes. He definitely fit the ‘bad boy’ image.
Nate took his motorcycle jacket off and laid it over the kitchen table. She couldn’t help but glance at his nicely sculpted arms. She looked up and immediately turned red when she realised that he was staring at her. He looked pleased that he was having such an effect on her.
She moved towards Luke, who was starting on a new drawing, and thanked him for a fun afternoon. Nate saw her to the front door and, she could have been imagining it, but she thought she heard a wolf whistle as she walked back to her car.
She drove home, annoyed at herself for letting this guy affect her so badly. She didn’t even know if he was single, or a Christian. She thought about the obvious strong connection he had with Luke and wondered again what had happened to Luke’s mum. She would have to ask her mum about it when she got home. Maybe she would have some answers.
* * * *
Chapter 4
Hannah’s face turned white as she saw the sandy-blonde-haired man with long sideburns cross the road, newspaper tucked under one arm. It can’t be him, she thought, trying to calm her rapid breathing. As the bus lurched forward, she gripped the seat in front to stop herself from keeling over. It had been nearly five years since she had last seen him, but in that moment, it all flashed back.
She had been a naïve 17 year old when she began working at Oakley medical centre as a receptionist. It was a small practice with only a few doctors. Dr. Rogers was a friendly, grandfatherly man in his sixties. Dr. Franklin was a lady doctor in her late forties. She was warm and nurturing and reminded Hannah a lot of her own mother. The third doctor was Dr. Matheson. He was a locum from Sydney, in his late twenties. He had a boyish face, long sideburns and a quiet nature.
Hannah had been working at the practice for a few months before she noticed that Dr. Matheson seemed to be paying her more attention than usual. He would linger in the reception area and ask her questions about herself, like how long she had lived in the area, how old she was, what she liked to do in her free time, etc. Whenever the other doctors came into the reception area, he pretended to be busy filing. As their friendship grew, he began to flirt, commenting on how pretty she looked and that if he were ten years younger, he woul
d have asked her out. She found the attention flattering. He was an attractive man, but she knew the age gap would mean that a romance was out of the question. Besides, as a Christian, she had always thought it was important to date someone with the same beliefs and she knew he wasn’t a believer; he had admitted so himself during one of their conversations.
As the months went on, his questions became more and more personal. He asked her about her previous relationships and whether she was a virgin. He would whisper in her ear and tell her how sexy she looked, making her blush. She heard warning bells, but she didn’t want to tell anyone what was going on. She really needed this job and didn’t want her parents or the other doctors messing things up. She also secretly liked the way he made her feel.
One afternoon, she had to stay back late to finish organising patient files. She was just about to lock up when she saw him come out of his office. He had a strange look on his face and when he saw her, he walked towards her like a man on a mission, backed her against the wall, and kissed her hard. When she tried to pull back, he told her he loved her. She was surprised, but she didn’t pull back when he kissed her again. In the moment, she had let him do things to her that she would later be ashamed about. While they hadn’t gone ‘all the way’, she was still left feeling like a part of her had been destroyed. She had cried herself to sleep that night.
When she arrived, bleary-eyed, at the office in the morning, Dr. Rogers had told her that Dr. Matheson had quit the practice to return to Sydney and be with his wife—apparently he couldn’t bear to be apart from her any longer. Hannah hadn’t known that Dr. Matheson was married. If she had, she wouldn’t have let anything happen. She had felt so betrayed and she was repulsed by what she’d done. She had confessed her sins to God and locked the terrible secret in her heart, throwing the key away. She’d never told anyone else. In fact, she had managed quite successfully to forget about that incident five years ago, until today.
The bus jolted again and pulled Hannah from her memories. Her heart sank as she thought about Tim, her wonderful fiancé. What if she continued to keep this secret and didn’t tell him? It seemed like the easy thing to do, but she knew deep down that they wouldn’t be able to have an honest relationship while she kept this from him. She feared how he would react if she told him. He thought she was coming into their marriage pure and unblemished. How would he react if he knew? Would he end their engagement?