“Tim came to see me yesterday,” he began. “It was my suggestion that he bring you here. I want to explain myself, if you’ll let me.”
She nodded, unable to speak.
“I met my first wife, Holly, when we were in our last year of high school. We fell in love and got married when we were both 19. We struggled a lot during those early years. She worked full time to support me while I studied medicine. This caused a lot of conflict in our marriage and we both decided that I would go and work in Oakley and she would stay in Sydney. Essentially, we agreed it would be healthy for our marriage if we separated for a period of time. I never really wanted to leave, but I was willing to give it a go if it meant winning Holly back.
“When I started working at the practice, I felt really drawn to you. I think it was because you reminded me so much of what Holly was like, back when we were dating—not just your appearance, but your fresh view of the world and your unpolluted heart. You made me feel young and carefree again.
“Holly and I tried to work on our marriage long-distance, but often we’d just end up fighting. The night that you and I—” he shifted in his seat. “Well, you know what happened. Holly and I had just had a terrible argument over the phone—one of the worst we’d ever had. When I came out and saw you there, I just wanted to get back at her and I let my emotions run away. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t let myself think about it. After that night, I knew that separation was not healthy for my marriage, so I left to go back to Holly.”
“So what happened with the two of you?” asked Hannah.
“We divorced.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I found out she had been cheating on me while I was away. I actually remarried a couple of years ago, and I have a little baby now too.” He pointed to a framed photo on his desk, showing a pretty blonde cradling a chubby baby.
“Hannah,” he went on, “I know I’m five years too late, but I want to apologise. I took advantage of you and I feel dreadful about it, especially now that I know that you’ve been holding in that hurt for so long. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope now you know my story, you can move on with the next chapter in your life. I know there is a guy out there who can’t wait to be a part of it.”
“Did he tell you that?” she asked, hopeful.
“Well, not in so many words. But he did wait two weeks on my waiting list to see me. He even faked a knee injury. You can imagine my surprise when he threw away the crutches and confronted me. I’m telling you, that man would do anything to see you happy.”
She smiled. “Dr. Matheson, I wasn’t completely blameless. I could have said no, and I didn’t. I’m glad that you are in a good place. It has actually been good seeing you. I’ve spent so long denying what happened and it just ate away at me. I should have spoken to you years ago.”
“Please, don’t call me Dr. Matheson. It’s Paul. Dr. Matheson makes me sound like an old fart.”
“Okay, Paul,” she said, chuckling. She couldn’t believe they were now joking around like nothing had happened between them.
He opened the door for her and they walked back into the reception area. Tim looked up nervously and she grinned at him, knowing from his expression that the man she loved wasn’t going anywhere. She walked over to where he was seated and knelt before him, cradling his face in her hands, and loving the way his stubble felt under her fingertips.
“I love you, Tim,” she said quietly, staring into his soft, brown eyes.
“I’ll always love you, Hannah.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her passionately, rivalling all other kisses they’d had before.
Several moments later he pulled back for air. “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait very long to make you my wife,” he said, before kissing her again.
I could get used to this, she thought, enjoying the softness of his mouth and the way his fingers tickled the back of her neck.
“Ah, can I interrupt you two for a minute?”
They drew apart and sheepishly glanced over at Paul, who was jangling his set of keys.
“Do you guys mind taking this outside? I have to lock up for the night,” he said smiling.
* * * *
Chapter 17
One month later
Rachel retreated to her bedroom, flustered by the troop of eleven-year-old boys running around the house. It was Jeremy’s birthday and he and his friends had just consumed a whole lot of red cordial and lollies. It was going to be a long afternoon. She lay down on her bed, pulling out her university readings. After a couple of minutes trying to focus, she placed them on her bedside table. She had other things on her mind.
Her relationship with Nate was going strong. They had spent most of their spare time together over the last month. He was bounding along in his faith and she found it refreshing to see how excited he was to discover new things about God. He would ring her up late at night and ask her to decipher difficult Bible passages for him. Most of the time she was just as stumped as he was. His enthusiasm for reading the Bible was an encouragement to her. She had been pretty slack with spending time in God’s word and she was enjoying rediscovering it through Nate’s eyes.
She had also really enjoyed getting to know Luke too. She had been on a few ‘dates’ with Nate and Luke, to the movies, the park and McDonalds for dinner. She felt touched that Nate wanted to include her as part of the family, and she already loved Luke like a brother.
Nate was everything she had ever dreamed of in her future husband—tall, handsome, masculine, funny, good with kids, and most importantly, a Christian. She may have been tempted to think all her dreams were coming true, but in the back of her mind, something niggled at her.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a knock at her door.
“Come in,” she called out.
Her dad opened the door, entering her room with a cup of tea.
“Hi, honey. Your mum made you a cuppa and asked me to give it to you.” He put it down on the coaster on her bedside table.
“Is everything all right, sweetheart?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess so. Everything in my life is going pretty well right now. I’ve finally worked out what I want to do when I finish uni. I have a great boyfriend. Life is good. I should be happy, but why do I still feel like something is missing? I know I probably sound selfish, but I feel like asking God ‘is this all there is?’ Does that sound awful?” she asked.
He paused for a few moments. “You know, I felt like that many years ago when I was starting my professional tennis career. I was 24 and had just won my first national title. I was dating your mum at the time and I’d been offered sponsorship with a major brand. I remember feeling like I should be on top of the world, but for some reason I didn’t feel truly happy. I never mentioned it to your mum, as I didn’t want her to feel bad, but it really got to me. Then I tore all the ligaments in my knee, ending my career before it had really even started.” He rubbed the scar on his knee while he spoke. “It was a terrible blow, but looking back I see now that it was God’s way of getting my attention. I had been so focused on what I wanted that I forgot to ask God what His plans were for my life. I turned to God and I found that what He offered was much more satisfying that what this world offers.”
Her bottom lip quivered. Her dad’s story had made her think about her own dream of being a wife and mother. What if God took away that possibility? It was her biggest fear. She had never really trusted Him with this part of her life, fearing that He might somehow spoil her plans.
“Dad, how did you trust God again after your tennis career ended?”
“Well, at first I was angry and I felt like God had let me down, but then after spending some time reading his word, I realised that God is God. He doesn’t exist to do my bidding, but I exist to serve him. Serving God is eternally rewarding, unlike the shallow pleasures of this life. When our lives line up with God’s plan, we can know true satisfaction in this life and the next. The apostle Paul talks about this in Philippians. He had learn
t the secret of being content in every situation. Paul found his joy in God and in being where God wanted him to be.”
“Thanks, Dad. I really needed to hear that.”
Her dad stood and gave her shoulder a squeeze, leaving her alone. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, turning to God in prayer.
Lord God, You are the creator of the universe. You hold all things in Your hands. Please forgive me for expecting You to do my bidding. Thank You for Jesus who died for me and opened the way for me to have a relationship with You.
Please help me to desire what You desire and not to put my hopes in what this world offers. I thank You for the many blessings You have given me. Please help me to find deep satisfaction in being where You want me to be, no matter what the cost. Amen.
She rested her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. In her mind she pictured a large tower and a huge bulldozer, knocking it down floor by floor. It was the flimsy tower of dreams she had created and she mourned as God tore it down. Then God began to lay the foundations of a better building. One made of gold, refined by fire, that would reach into eternity.
It was only 4:30pm, but Rachel was tired and soon drifted off to sleep. She woke up an hour later when there was another knock on the door. This time it was Nate.
She rubbed her eyes and tried to smooth out the creases on her clothes.
“Your parents said I could come up. You weren’t answering your phone.”
“Sorry, I was asleep,” she replied, still feeling a bit foggy.
To her horror she realised she had drooled on her pillow. He noticed as well and wiped the saliva off her chin with his thumb. She felt a bit embarrassed by the gesture.
“Rachel, the police came to my house this morning. They found Erin,” he said.
“Is she okay?” she asked, concerned for the worst.
“She’s at a rehabilitation clinic up in Queensland.”
“You have to go to her,” she told him.
“I know,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I’ve been praying about it since this morning and I feel like God is telling me to go. It’s the worst timing, just as you and I were starting to get serious.”
“Nate, God’s timing is perfect. He never makes mistakes. You should go. She needs you more than I do.” She couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.
He seemed surprised as well. “You don’t need me?”
“It’s not that I don’t need you. I’ve really enjoyed the last couple of months. You are a wonderful, godly guy and I don’t want to lose you.” A couple of tears escaped from her eyelids and ran down her face. “But if I do, I have to believe that God has a purpose in all this.”
He lifted her chin and planted the softest of kisses on her lips; their first and possibly their last kiss.
He stood. “Bye, Rachel. Please pray for me?”
She nodded and he left the room. As soon as he was gone, she dissolved into tears, feeling all the emotions from what had been one of the most intense days of her life.
* * * *
Chapter 18
Hannah lifted up the china platter delicately, checking the price tag. 80 bucks! Sheesh. She walked over to Tim who was holding the wedding gift registry list. So far they had found four items they agreed on: some comfortable pillows, plush towels, a knife set, and a cookie monster cookie jar that Tim had insisted on. It didn’t seem like much progress for the two hours they had been there.
“I give up. I don’t really care about wedding presents. I already have everything I want,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. He smiled and completed the hug.
“Let’s ditch this joint,” he said.
They returned the list and pencils to the woman at the gift registry office and decided to get some lunch. As they strolled hand in hand through the shopping complex, Hannah felt like the luckiest girl alive. Ever since the meeting with Paul (aka Dr. Matheson), she had felt a deeper love and passion for Tim. She felt free to love with her whole heart. He had noticed a difference too and commented how happy she seemed.
He said he felt a lot closer to her too, having worked through many emotions—shock, hurt, anger, bitterness and, finally, forgiveness. Hannah was surprised to hear that it was actually Dr. Matheson that he had been angry with, not her. While he was in Western Australia for his mum’s fiftieth birthday, which he’d been too upset to tell her about, he had decided to set up an appointment with the man and hear his side of the story. Dr. Matheson had admitted his lapse in judgement and convinced him to bring her to the practice so he could apologise in person.
With the past behind them, they had decided on a date for the wedding, September 4th, which was only two months away. Being the first weekend of the semester break, it meant they would have two weeks to go on their honeymoon and get settled into their new home before college started back. The short engagement meant most of their weekends up to now had been taken up with wedding planning. They had booked the church, hired a reception venue and found a photographer. Thankfully, most other things were being organised by people at church. It was going to be a small wedding on a small budget, but that suited them fine.
After a nice lunch, Tim dropped Hannah at her unit and left to go to a church music practice. Hannah was clearing away the leftover mess from breakfast when her roommate Sue entered the kitchen.
“Hi, stranger, I thought that might be you. I haven’t seen much of you lately,” said Sue. “How are your wedding plans coming along?”
“Okay, I guess. It’s just that it’s only two months to go and I still haven’t found my wedding dress yet. I don’t have my mum or my bridesmaids here to help me and I need an honest opinion.”
“Well, I have the afternoon free if you like. I don’t mind going dress shopping with you.”
Hannah eyed her flatmate, wondering whether to take her up on the offer. Sue was a country girl and mostly wore jeans and cowboy boots. The thought of her in a bridal shop was a visual contradiction.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’ve been to enough Bachelor and Spinster balls to know how to pick out a good dress. I’ve even worn heels before, if you can believe that,” she said proudly.
“Okay, if you don’t mind, that would be great. Just promise you’ll be honest with me. I don’t want to end up looking like a toilet doll with taffeta everywhere.”
They locked up the apartment and took the bus to the bridal shopping district where they sifted through sales racks in the various bridal shops.
“This isn’t looking good,” said Hannah after checking a few of the price tags.
“What about this one?” Sue held up a simple satin gown.
“I don’t know. Do you think it would be too plain?”
“Why don’t you try it on anyway, just to get a feel if it’s the right style for you? It’s in your price range.”
Those were the magic words. She gave in and let the shop assistant help her into the dress. As the assistant did up the zip at the back, Hannah gasped at her reflection. It was stunning. She had found her dress. The ivory satin contrasted perfectly with her complexion. The strapless bodice fit her perfectly, enhancing her hourglass figure. The fabric smoothed over her hips and cascaded down to her ankles, with an elegant train at the back. I’m a bride! She could hardly believe the transformation.
“Shall we show your friend?” asked the shop assistant. Hannah nodded as she picked up the hem of the dress and walked over to a viewing platform surrounded by mirrors.
“Wow, Hannah!” Sue’s eyes widened. “Tim will have a heart attack when he sees you in that.”
Hannah smiled, picturing what his reaction would be when he saw her. She couldn’t wait.
“Sue, can you take a picture on my phone so I can show Mum?” she asked.
Sue took a photo and Hannah placed a deposit on the dress. She looked forward to wearing it again on her wedding day, and hoped the time would pass quickly.
* * * *
Chapter 19
&n
bsp; Rachel hadn’t heard from Nate in over a week—not that she expected him to check in with her, but she was curious to hear how things were going with Erin. Despite the initial feeling of loss she’d felt when he left, she was surprised at how easily she’d been able to let go of him. It was a great encouragement to know that her future was in God’s hands. She had been enjoying a closer relationship with God these days. She was starting to learn the secret of contentment and she knew that no matter what He had planned for her, she would embrace it, even if it wasn’t what she would have planned out for herself.
She had just finished a tutorial and was headed home for the evening. As she walked to her car, she could see dark clouds menacing over the nearby mountains, threatening a storm. The wind picked up the leaves from the grass and swept them away in an elegant dance. Rachel quickened her steps and arrived at her car as the first thick drops of rain fell.
As she began the 40 minute drive home, the storm intensified, and soon the wipers on her Barina couldn’t keep up the pace. She struggled to see out the front window of the car, which was getting foggier by the second. She adjusted the air conditioner settings to clear the fog from the glass. Suddenly, she realised the car in front had its brake lights on. She slammed her foot on the pedal and the wheels locked up, sending the car into a spin. She turned the steering wheel, but the car continued to skid across the wet road. It hit the kerb with a great thud and she heard a bang as the tyre blew.
Feeling adrenalin race through her, she put on the hazard lights and climbed out the passenger door. Within seconds she was soaked. A quick look at the tyre confirmed that it had blown. She had a spare, but she’d never had to change a tyre before. A flash of lightning and loud clap of thunder made her jump and she quickly clambered back into the car again. She remembered hearing something a while back about a car being the safest place to be during a storm. She hoped that memory served her correctly. She pulled out her phone and realised with dismay that it had run out of charge. She began to panic, tears coming to her eyes. It was now starting to get quite late and she had no way of contacting her parents.