I glance around, really taking in the rooms and the mess. Someone’s been painting on the walls in here too. Scenes of graphic proportions. Blood, death, and demons. I accidently step on something that crunches beneath my feet. When I look down, I see syringes and dirty needles strewn all over. If I thought I had nightmares before, they were nothing compared to this place. Weird shapes are drawn on the floors, forcing me to step back. My stomach’s suddenly queasy. Bruno wasn’t kidding.
Levi and Bruno signal for us to guard the entryway while they clear the upstairs. The screaming continues and turns into sobs. It rattles me to the core. I cover the staircase as Levi and Bruno slowly make their way up. Their sweat stains their shirts. Seconds feel like hours when they finally reach the top. I watch as they clear one room, popping out onto the balcony, and then disappearing from sight. I can only imagine the grotesque things they’ll find based off what I’ve already seen. My lips move in an involuntary prayer for them as they go in. Then a strange feeling comes over me, and I’m aware of being watched.
As I inspect our surroundings, I catch a distinctive shadow dashing across the hallway, flicking through the eerie light. Zeus sprints after it into the family room, tearing at something with his teeth. Just as quickly, Cole enters, subduing the Sinner. The Sinner’s wild eyes are red and glazed over, and his yellow brand looks sickly against his wrinkled, pale skin. Track marks lace his arms. I stand in the doorway, trying to monitor the upstairs and the room at the same time. As Cole pushes him against the wall, the Sinner laughs maniacally.
“Peekaboo,” the man says in a hoarse voice. I can’t help looking over my shoulder, an uneasy feeling welling up in my throat. “We see you.”
Sinners pour into the room, pushing me inside, surrounding us until we stand in the center of a crudely drawn hexagram. I shove my terror down. Another loud, prolonged scream echoes from upstairs, and I wonder if Levi and Bruno are okay, but there’s nothing I can do to help them. Exhaling slowly like my brother taught me in training, I focus inward. I slowly put my gun into my waistband. Their eyes track my every movement, one smiling as he takes my motion as a sign of surrender. What he doesn’t understand, is that I’m more concerned about them grabbing my loaded gun and using it on me, which would defeat the point of bringing it.
Zeus growls as a Sinner edges closer, and I whip out my knife, flicking it open for them to see the sharp, glimmering edge. I refuse to cower. They watch like hungry, big cats circling their prey. They’re like a horde of moving dead people, grayish in color, all sagging skin and protruding bones. Behind me, Cole’s back touches my own, and we wait as the tension builds.
The first one comes at me, but Zeus jumps between us snarling and ripping at him. His bones snap with sickening sounds. Grunting and growling intermix as Zeus stops shaking his head and lets the body hit the floor. The Sinners smirk at each other, and then it’s like an avalanche of bodies. They’re lunging, screaming, and growling as they try to take pieces of us with them. I slice and stab with my knife. Pain jabs me, but I keep going. Blood splashes across my forehead. My muscles tense, my teeth clench. Cole stays behind me. We circle, protecting each other.
Soon, bodies litter the floor, and a Sinner catches me off guard. She dives in low, taking out my knees. I fall to the ground, tripping over a dead body. Panic ignites me as my knife skitters away, just out of reach. Cole curses, and soon the female Sinner’s on top of me, throwing furious punches. It’s all I can do to block my face before she turns it into pulp.
I buck my hips and dump her to the side, but she’s quick to her feet. I’m barely standing before she hits me with a right hook. Stars dance before my eyes, and then her fist propels into my stomach, squeezing air from my lungs. I double over but remember to protect my face before her knee can jar me in the forehead.
Barely able to focus through my watering eyes, I wrap her up in a bear hug and smash through the open doorway into the hall. The wooden floor groans beneath us. Her breath escapes in a whoosh as we land. I scramble to mount her and then assault her with elbows and punches until her face is bloody and her strength waning. Warm blood covers my hands, but I keep hitting.
Someone pulls me off of her. I scream and fight, kicking in resistance. Zeus bounds to my rescue, and the tight grip on my arms releases, dropping me to the floor, but not before my first opponent jumps to her feet, ready for another round. She kicks at me, and I block while lying on my back, like a turtle spinning on its’ shell. She circles another direction, throwing more kicks. They land on my legs, but my guard holds steady. My back aches from the wood floor, and my muscles strain against pure exhaustion.
But I’m patient.
She is not.
She leaps forward, trying to bypass my legs and pin me. I roll away, and just as she hits the floor, I’m on my feet. I send a kick into her rib cage, and she cries out. I kick her again. A loud crack tells me I’m breaking her ribs. Finally, she doesn’t try to get up. She curls into the fetal position and whimpers. That’s when I notice her red brand through strands of sweaty blond hair plastered to her neck. She’s unlike the others. She has muscle and strength the others didn’t possess. I could grab my knife and end her life, but as I study her, I notice she’s not much older or larger than me, even though she put up the toughest fight. So I grab my knife, leaving her to lie there, because she’s earned my respect. This better not come back to bite me.
“Lexi,” Cole says. My head snaps his direction, my hands shake at my sides. Bodies lie around him, and Zeus stands at his side panting. His fur is matted with red. My eyes are drawn to the small bundle in Cole’s arms. The little boy can’t be more than five years old. “I need to get him out of here.”
After quickly surveying our surroundings, my eyes snap back to Cole. “Where’d he come from?” An image pops up uninvited, and I inhale sharply.
He swings his fist, crunching my father’s nose. The Commander smirks in the shadows.
“A closet,,” Cole replies. “I asked where his parents are and he pointed up.” His jaw twitches, and suddenly, there’s a heaviness in my chest. I recover my knife and tuck it into my pants, drawing my gun instead.
My father’s bloody face briefly lifts to meet Cole’s.
“Cover me,” I say, shaking away the image. Cole gives me a questioning look, gently puts the boy down, and lifts his gun. His hands shake the slightest bit, but he does his best to hide it.
“Zeus, here.” Cole makes Zeus stand in front of the frightened child, ready to defend him should there be a need. It’s amazing how Zeus, not knowing the child, is well aware that now he’s been ordered to protect him.
I scamper up the staircase, my blood thumping in my ears, my nerves frayed. I’m partly relieved to be free from the flashes of the past, and partly consumed by the thought of what I’m going to encounter as I crest the stairs. At the top, the floor’s smeared with dark, dried blood giving it a musty iron smell that burns my nostrils. The trail of blood leads into a back room, and there’s no sign of Bruno and Levi.
I clear the first room, check on Cole and the boy from the balcony, and venture into the next one. The doorknob’s stuck. I gently joggle it, but it won’t budge. Muffled voices come from inside, so I know Bruno and Levi are in there, and it makes me protective, even aggressive. I kick open the door with a loud crash, startling everyone in the room. Levi and Bruno are backed into a corner, hands in the air, as two men point their guns at them and a third speaks. They’re all caught off balance by my entrance.
Before they can even speak, I pull the trigger twice, taking the two hostage-takers down. Levi grabs his weapon as Bruno sucker-punches the speaker mid-sentence. He crumbles, but Bruno catches him and holds a knife to his neck.
“Food stash?” he asks in a solid, emotionless voice.
The Sinner’s eyes glaze over, blood coursing from his nose. He says nothing, but his face turns in the direction of his two male-counterparts and where they lay bleeding out.
“I ask once,” Bruno says
. This time he digs the tip of his knife into the man’s neck, and I watch as the man’s mouth widens. “Now, tell me, or I’ll slit your throat and we’ll eat you instead.”
Levi scrambles over two other bodies on the floor, while making his way to search the closet for supplies, but I find myself examining the people. The male’s thick arms are draped over the female body as if trying to comfort her or protect her until the end. The slashes across their faces and gouges in their arms and torsos make me almost sick, but they appear peaceful in death, and for that, I’m grateful. The reddish brown hair of the boy downstairs matches the man’s, and they share the same small cleft in their chins. With the sickening realization dawning on me, I rush to kneel down and check for a pulse. Nothing. In my gut, I knew that’d be the verdict, but I couldn’t let it go without trying. The boy’s an orphan. We didn’t save them in time. But we can save their son.
Bruno pushes the knife deeper, starting a trickle of blood down the man’s neck. “One last chance.”
“Cellar,” the man chokes out.
Without hesitation, Bruno glides the knife across his neck, letting his body drop to the floor with a loud thud. The Sinner gurgles and then stops moving. With a grunt, Bruno wipes his knife on his pant leg and slides it back into its hilt. I reach out and touch his arm. “They deserved to die,” he says, his voice coming out with an edge. “They brutalized his wife right in front of him.” His voice breaks.
“Bruno, you don’t have to justify yourself,” I say. He steps around me. “Cole’s with their son. They’re downstairs.”
He lifts his face, clamping down on his emotions. “Check the remaining rooms before we collect our stash.”
After we clear the rest of the rooms, we head down the rickety stairs. The little boy cringes behind Zeus, reaching for Cole’s leg. He wraps himself around Cole, who lowers his gun and carefully picks the boy up. He digs his face into Cole’s shoulder, and Cole rubs his back as he sobs.
“Hang on to him. We’ll get the food,” Levi says.
I follow Levi, leaving Cole with the child and Bruno to stand guard. The smell of mildew and the dampness of the air douse our skin as we head down into the cellar. I hit the switch, but only three bulbs flicker to life. The cement walls drip with precipitation, sweating just like me. Shelves line the far side of the wall, stocked with cans and jugs of water. I’m not even slightly hungry after seeing the bodies and smelling the blood, but I remind myself to think of the others, who are waiting for us to come back.
“We can’t possibly carry all of this,” I say while grabbing as much as I can. I shove it into my pockets. Of course, most of it is canned goods. For the longest time, Sinners received rations of canned goods, water, and some hygienic supplies from the Commander. It was only in his later years that he began cutting back on supplies, gradually weaning us down to barely nothing. That’s when Wilson cut us off completely. So, for us, this cellar is like hitting the lottery. Only a rare few were able to save extra food and store it.
Levi stretches on his toes, grabbing for food and bottled water. Some of it tumbles down on him, causing him to curse. He steps back, almost wiping out on a rolling can. He rubs his head and looks around the room.
“Jack-freaking-pot,” he says. I give him a crazy stare as he pulls a rusty shopping cart out from under a blanket in the corner. I let out a small laugh. Of all the junk inside this house, we find an old shopping cart!
“I was hoping for a pot of gold,” I say. We toss as much as we can inside. Once filled, we push it to the bottom of the stairs. “How’re we getting this up there?”
“Lift it,” Levi says. “Obviously.”
Oh, this ought to be good. He makes me step in front of the cart while he holds the bottom. And one step at a time, we lift it up the stairs. By the end, we’re both breathless. I run my tongue over my cracked lips and imagine how good that water will taste going down. I wheel the cart to the front doorway, and it veers a little to the left as I push it past all the bodies.
That’s when I notice the blond girl is gone. At some point, she was able to crawl or walk out of here, and all of us completely missed it. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so merciful. Now, I’m having thoughts about her coming back to finish the job she started. Could I beat her again, if she has that strong of a survival instinct?
“Holy crap, we hit the jackpot,” Bruno says, interrupting my thoughts. It’s the closest thing to a smile I’ve seen on him in days. “What are you gonna do with a cart?”
“I’m going to push it,” Levi says. “While you cover my ass.”
“Piece of shit better not squeak,” Bruno replies. He spins to Cole. “And the boy?”
“If you think we’re just going to leave him here, you’re out of your damn mind,” Cole says. The little boy’s fingers wrap around his neck like a vice. I don’t think we could pry him away from Cole if we tried. “We’re bringing him.”
“That’s one less gun in our defense, or are you going to give the boy your weapon?” Levi asks, worry lines etched across his forehead. When nobody laughs, he adds, “Kidding.”
Bruno shoves the front door open, checking outside before signaling for us to go. Twilight has set upon the Hole, casting shadows over every alleyway and building. If this place was scary during the daytime, it’s even more hellish at night.
Levi pushes the shopping cart down the front two steps, and it rattles along the way, items falling out onto the cracked pavement. The sound echoes for what feels like miles. It causes the hair on my arms to jump straight up. Quickly, I pick things up, and Levi runs with the cart, fighting against its urge to turn left. Bruno and Zeus cover him, while Cole carries the boy, and I bring up the rear.
They speed through the lopsided intersection, past white pairs of eyes in the windows of the rainbow-painted building. I point my gun in their direction, and they disappear. The cart shakes as a wheel turns sideways. Damn thing. Why is it so hard to find one with four working wheels? Oh well, I should be happy we have one at all.
The farther from the Rainbow District we get, the more hope I have that we’ll make it back before dark. It’s like a heavy boulder being moved off my shoulders. The moon shines bright, casting a perfect white pall over my friends’ faces.
Levi clicks his tongue, and someone clicks back. He darts across the line of the shantytown, and we follow him, an eager smile greeting us on the other side. Her eyes are sunken in their sockets, and wrinkles branch out from them when she speaks, but she looks relieved.
“Not going to lie,” she says. “Didn’t think you’d make it back.”
Levi tosses her a can of food. “Eat up. And thanks for your confidence in us.” He winks.
She almost cries as she turns it in her hands. “You’re such a blessing, all of you.”
Our return brings everyone out of their huts. Levi divvies out small bits of food and water, and then we stockpile the rest, making guard rotations so that no one can steal it. People’s hands are steady, and they’re grateful. Some of them cry, others can’t stop thanking us, especially when they see the blood stains on our hands and clothing.
Meanwhile, Cole settles in our shack with the little boy clinging to him. When I walk in ready to collapse, they’re both curled up together, Cole’s arms wrapped around the small child. My heart melts. It reminds me of how my father would hold me when I was scared. How my father, no matter what, was always there to protect me. And deep down in my gut, I know, without a doubt, Cole has that same exact kindness, just like my father did. The boy has fresh tear tracks on his face, but he looks peaceful asleep. Cole adjusts his position, and the little boy wriggles closer.
I slump down and stare at them. It’s the first time I don’t have flashes while looking at Cole. I don’t see my father, or blood, or death, or the Commander; just a handsome former guard with a vulnerable, newly orphaned child. I sigh with relief.
Even Bruno is taken by the sight when he enters our shack. He smiles a little before finding a place to crash. La
ter, I wake up to him crying for Grace and Christopher in his sleep. It’s enough to drive me mad. I sit up and let the shadows dance with my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, Cole unwraps his arms from the boy and places the boy’s head on Zeus’s stomach. When I reach the outside of our hut, I throw my head back and stare at the stars. A few minutes later, Cole joins me, and when his arm brushes up against mine, my body shivers.
“What’s running through your mind?” Cole whispers. I clear my throat and then give a long sigh.
Maybe I owe him an explanation. Then again, I’m not sure I want to speak to him at all. I can’t ever put into words the flashes I have every time I look into his face, how they put fear in me, making me that much more resistant to letting him back in. Then there are times, like now, after I’ve watched him with the little boy, that I’m certain the Cole I know is still in there and cares enough to stick around.
When I glance up, he’s standing there, waiting patiently for me to respond.
“Before you told me what happened, my last memory of my father was a good one. A memory that made me smile.” I lower my head, kicking at the dirt. “It was like any other day. When he left for work, he’d always hug me goodbye and tell me how much he loved me. But, when I look back now, I can see the differences. He held me tighter and longer than usual; he kissed the top of my head before giving me his brilliant smile. He told me how proud he was that his little girl was so strong and wise beyond her years. Then he told me how much he loved me before he got into his car and waved goodbye. But, that time, he wasn’t smiling, he was frowning.”
“He knew,” Cole says.
“Yes, I realize that now. He didn’t want me to worry. That’s how my father was.” I choke back the tears, but they spill over anyway, running down my cheeks. Cole puts his arm around me, but I shake him off. “Don’t you see? When I picture my father you’re always right there with him, the blood on his cheeks, dripping from his nose, caused by you. His screams—my screams—are from what you did. When I see you, I see him, and I can’t stop it. The two men I loved the most, the two men who brought happiness and made me feel loved. You both tore my heart to shreds and gutted me like a fish.”