Cole takes me to the dance floor, and we dance for the first time, as husband and wife, and even though I’m young, being married feels perfect. What’s the importance of age when you’ve defeated death and the devil as many times as we did? One day, our time will come, and we’ll see our friends and my mom and brother again. Until then, we have so much living we want to do.
Bill, Bruno, and my father all take their turns dancing with me, each one holding a special place in my heart. Bill brought humor into my life. Bruno became a brother to me and a rock for Cole. My father made me whole again and helped me hang on when I felt there was nothing left to hold on to. Even Zeus gets onto his hind legs to hug me. He stands taller than me, and after one wet lick to my forehead, I take his front legs off my shoulders, and he drops back down. I rub the top of his head and kiss his whiskers, my favorite place on his face.
When the candles flicker in the darkness, after hours of fun, we part ways with our friends. It’s bittersweet, leaving them. Part of me misses being stuck together in the Hole. It might sound dysfunctional, but we were all in it together, fighting for survival. Now, life seems unfamiliar, scary and new. I was used to looking over my shoulder, not trusting anyone, and now everything’s changed. Living free is harder than I imagined, and I don’t know when we’ll all be together again.
A dark vehicle pulls up, and Cole and I get in as our friends wave goodbye. By the time we pull away, we’re all crying … some tears of sadness and grief, and some of joy. I look up at the sky, the stars shining so bright, and I imagine Sutton, Keegan, my mom, Grace, and Alyssa all looking down and smiling with satisfaction. This is the happy ending we all dreamt of.
Cole grasps my hand, and we lean in to each other. My heart beats in anticipation of what’s left of our night. Countryside flickers by in splashes of light amidst the dark trees. Then the SUV stops in front of a small, one-story cottage.
“Is it secure?” I ask, unsure. No other lights glow in the distance. Cole chuckles beside me.
“Oh, it’s safe all right. Bruno assigned his best men to protect the area … but not too close. For obvious reasons.” He looks away from me, and even in the dark, his pink cheeks are visible.
He opens the door, and I climb out. The front door looks like nothing out of the ordinary. Just a plain, wooden doorway with potted flowers all around it and a brass knocker. It’s quaint, and I can’t help but chuckling as he struggles to open it.
“Do I have to call a locksmith?” I ask playfully.
“No, I’ll break it down if I have to.” He laughs, but his hands shake as he sticks in the key once more, and then it finally clicks. The door pops open.
“After you,” he says with a sly smile. “Oh, crap no. Aren’t I supposed to carry you in?”
He swoops me up, and my legs dangle over his arm as I lock my hands behind his neck. At first, my dress poofs over his face, and he growls. Laughing, I pull it down, and he holds it there with his chin. Shadows fall across the hallways and rooms, lit only by hundreds of candles. Rose petals line the hallway, giving off a sweet, fresh scent. My breath catches in my throat, and my hand goes to my chest in surprise. He puts me down on my feet, and I glance around the house.
“Oh. My. Gosh,” I whisper. Cole swings to my right side, his hand on my elbow. “Did you do all this?” I’m shocked beyond belief that my husband even had the time to do it all.
“You like it?” he asks.
“Like it? I love it!” He can’t hide his pleased smile. “It’s perfect.”
The canopy bed sits against the far wall with a fireplace adjacent to it. There’s a small kitchen to the right of us, and a bay window with lace curtains next to the kitchen table. My knees wobble, and I grab on to Cole’s arm for support.
“Woah, there,” he says. “A little nervous, are we?”
“Maybe a little.” I rest my cheek against him. “But I’m really happy, and excited.”
“Doesn’t feel real, does it?”
“If I wake up and this was just a dream, I’m going to be irate.”
“Oh, it’s no dream. It’s definitely happening.”
“Who says it is?” I ask. He gives me his crooked smile as he tucks one of my curls behind my ear, and I shiver. I’m having a hard time concentrating on anything but Cole’s presence.
“I don’t know how the hell we managed to hold off till today.” A smile flickers across his face. “But, Lexi, waiting for you was worth the struggle, because now I get to make love to you. For the first time, as husband and wife.” He takes a cleansing breath. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
Cole has been there for me through it all, when I was broken, falling apart, degraded and stripped of my humanity, yet he stayed. He never judged me. He knows me, the real me, and yet he still chose to remain. He takes off his suitcoat and tosses it on the floor. I grab his shirt and give it a little tug, closing the space between us, and then I pull his shirt out of his pants. Starting at the top, I slowly unbutton it. I slide it off his shoulders, and eventually it falls to the floor, revealing only his white t-shirt underneath.
“So show me,” I beg.
His tender fingers trail from my cheeks down to my mouth, and he brushes his thumb across my lips. His face is so close to mine, and then his lips skim my cheek to my ear.
“Your skin … smells like honey,” he whispers as his tongue grazes my earlobe. “And you taste just as sweet.” Instantly, a shot of lightning strikes my spine, sending a jolt up and down my body. His lips slowly move down my neck, and my toes curl in my high heels. He traces my jawline and stops at my chin.
The anticipation and aching consumes me. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him gently as he removes the pins from my hair before running his fingers through it. Our lips part, and I breathe him in, all of him. The tip of my tongue traces his full lips. As I suck in his lower lip, he groans low in his throat, and his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into his embrace.
The warmth of our skin radiates through our clothes. We break apart to catch our breath, but his forehead still touches mine. His hands travel to the top of my dress, where his fingers graze the flesh that’s ever so slightly bulging out. And right now, I’m especially grateful my curves are back.
“You know,” he says, “I love your dress, but it’s coming off.”
“So do it,” I whimper, turning around to expose my back to him. He unhooks the clasp at the top before sliding the zipper down all the way. I sigh with relief as my ribs expand. “Ah. I can breathe again.”
“Not for long,” he teases.
He pulls the dress lower, down past my hips; I step out before kicking off my heels. Now, all that remains is my undies and strapless bra. When I face Cole, his mouth falls open, and he shakes his head.
“You’re beautiful,” he says. “How are you even mine?”
“Funny, I ask myself the very same question about you,” I say while lifting his t-shirt up to his neck. He pulls the shirt over his head and tosses it somewhere—I honestly don’t know where because I’m only able to focus on him. How is it possible for a man to be this sexy? His muscles look as if they were chiseled to perfection. My heart thuds faster with the desire to touch him. So I do, and I’m shuddering as I caress his defined shoulders, his corded arms and rock-hard stomach. My palms tingle as I stroke his pecs. His smooth skin trembles underneath my soft touch, and he groans. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for my entire life without even knowing, and I’m never letting him go.
We lose the rest of our clothes while making our way to the bed. He lays me down, and I shiver as his delicious kisses softly trail from my neck down to my navel. His trembling hands explore every inch and curve of my body, and I’ve never felt so loved.
Cole comes back to meet my face, and his mouth covers mine, our kisses deep and intimate. I grasp the sheets beneath me and press my heels into the mattress.
“Please,” I say. “Hurry.”
“No, slowly,” he sa
ys. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
As I draw him closer, he’s patient, slow … and his eyes never leave mine as he moves inch by inch. My core’s on fire, a slight pinch, a burn, and in that moment a gasp escapes us both as our love connects us with the purest intimacy. We are one in every sense.
“Are you okay?” Cole pants between our kisses.
“Yes,” I hum. “I’m perfect.”
“Lexi, you feel incredible.”
We connect in every way possible, our souls, mouths, and every inch of skin touching. His fingers link with mine, and he holds my hands above my head as I hook my ankles behind his back, locking him in place. His tongue tastes like sugar cane, and I drink every drop. I’m high.
“I’m going to love you forever,” he moans. “And every moment after that.”
Every touch, kiss, glance, grasp, and intimate moment is pure bliss. Our love radiates through us like the flaring warmth of the sun. The sun that always shines and brings light even in the darkest of times. Cole’s my happy place, my safe haven, and he was brought into my life to teach me love will never fail.
“I love you,” I tell him. “Forever and always.”
He smiles his crooked smile, and his adorable dimple appears, taking my breath away. Just like when we met.
He reaches out and touches his thumb to my brand. “Do you know the color blue has another meaning?”
“Really?” I ask. “And what’s that?”
“Peace, loyalty, honor, and trust.” He kisses my brand, and a tear seeps from my eye. “That’s what I see when I look at you.”
Five Years Later
I stand on the back porch of our small house as the sun dips low in the sky. Cole digs nonstop, sweating as he grips the shovel. The United Powers remain in our country, but now only as a small contingent to help keep the peace and restore our government. My father was awarded the Medal of Freedom, along with Dr. Sutton posthumously, for the research that led to the creation of the vaccine. It hangs in a beautiful frame in his office, where he continues his work.
My counseling finally came to a close a year ago, but even after all these years, I still wake with nightmares occasionally. I’ll probably never stop looking over my shoulder and tensing when an unexpected noise comes from another room. Some habits will never go away completely. But I’d say I’m as whole as I’ll ever be.
A small tug on my pants brings me back to the present. “Mama, do all dogs go to heaven?” I kneel down beside her, my daughter, and grasp her hands in mine as I look her directly in the eyes. Her dark brown curls hang untamed around her face, a mirror of my own.
“They do, Alyssa … especially ones as good as Zeus.” Tears make paths down my face, but I can’t hide my grief from her. “And when we die, we’ll see him again.”
“But how?” Her lower lip, covered with dried peanut butter, starts to quiver. I’m breaking inside. It’s one thing when I’m hurting, but when it’s Alyssa … it’s a completely different story. As a mother, all I want to do is protect her. A part of me knows that’s impossible, that pain and suffering are inevitable, but I find myself trying anyway.
“How will he find us?” she asks, her eyes wide and earnest.
“We’ll find each other,” I tell her. “Because I know … exactly where he is.”
“You do?” She lights up with hope, and I nod.
“I do.” I sit down and pull her into my lap. “You see, in heaven, there’s this wonderful place called the rainbow bridge. And when an animal dies, they cross over the bridge. Once they cross over, they wait for us on the other side.”
She scrunches her forehead and narrows her eyes at me. “He’s gonna get bored.”
“Oh, no. He gets to run and—”
“But his legs are bad,” she says, a frown crossing her face.
“You know, you’re right. But let me tell you all the wonderful things about this rainbow bridge,” I say in a calm voice. “When they walk across, God heals them, and all their pain goes away. So, Zeus can do anything and everything he wants. Like play ball and run again.” I almost lose it with those last few words.
“Good,” Alyssa says with relief. “Will he remember us?”
“Yes, of course he will. He knows the sound of our voices, he knows what we smell like, and he knows what we look like,” I tell her. “When he senses one of us, his ears will perk up, and he’ll lift his head, and knowing Zeus, his head will be cocked like this.” I show her, and she smiles. “His tongue hanging out the side.” She chuckles. “And once he sees us, he’s going to run as fast as he can to greet us, lick us, and knock us over, all on the rainbow bridge.”
She pulls me close with her hands and lets me burrow my face in her hair, which smells like lilies. Rubbing my back in little strokes, she says, “I really miss Zeusy Pants.” She pulls back, her turquoise eyes full of tears and knowledge beyond her years. “Who will snuggle him at bedtime? Who will give him his favorite peanut butter treats? And who will clean up his slobber?” I put my hands on her small shoulders and kiss her forehead.
“God will, baby. He’ll take good care of our boy until we get there, and then we can give him all the treats he wants and play and never get tired because it’s heaven and there’re no tears there, or sickness.” She clings to me so I pick her up.
“Poor little girl,” a voice says from behind me. “She looks just like you, Lusty.” I turn around, and Crazy Bill stands there, leaning against the porch. I smile even while crying.
“Oh my gosh, you actually came,” I say happily. Alyssa wiggles out of my arms and runs to Cole, and he picks her up while walking toward the house.
“I thought I called and told you I was? Or did I forget?” Bill asks, scratching his almost bald head.
“Maybe you did. Sorry, it’s been a rough few days.”
Cole puts Alyssa down before hugging Bill. “Thank you for coming.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Daddy, why did he come?” Alyssa asks Cole.
Bill pats her head. Alyssa gives him an awkward look, and Bill says, “Because, believe it or not”—he touches the tip of her nose with his index finger—“Zeus actually loved me, and not many do.”
“Aw, that’s not true, we love you too,” I say.
“Like I said, not many,” he says sarcastically, and I slap his arm. Classic Bill.
“I’ll be right back,” Cole says.
“What’s he doing?” Bill asks.
“Changing,” I say.
“Good.” Bill gives me a thumbs-up just like old times. Bill’s pot belly is gone, and he’s had some dental work done because his teeth are perfectly straight. And white. He hugs me and then puts a hand on my belly. “Look at you all grown up and having babies. You’re making me feel old.”
“Making you feel old?” I give him a wink.
“I’m sorta in denial,” he says with a shrug. “All those years of drinkin’ aged me to a fine wine.” He pauses. “Hey, is Bruno showing up to this shindig, or is it just me and the fam?”
“I don’t—”
“And miss seeing you, old fart?” Bruno says. “Never.” He steps onto the porch, and it creaks below his feet. He wears loose jeans and a collared shirt with boots. He looks fit and healthy as ever. Him and Bill slam into a tight hug, and then Bruno steps toward me and gently pulls me close. Over his shoulder, an ebony-skinned woman smiles with perfect white teeth. Her bright red hair’s done in a spunky hairstyle, and she’s dressed fashionably. Bruno steps back with a smile that stretches from ear to ear.
“Oh, sorry, I should introduce you.” He steps aside, allowing me to greet her. “Ayo meet Lexi.” He wraps one arm around her shoulders and introduces everyone.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she says. “Bruno’s told me all about you, and I feel as if we’re already friends.” She smiles at Bruno, and I get the feeling they’re more serious than I knew. “I hope it’s all right that I came. Bruno said you wouldn’t mind, but I was hes
itant.”
“Yes, of course,” I say politely. “Any friend of Bruno’s is a friend of ours.”
“That’s very nice of you, thank you,” Ayo says, and we smile at each other.
“Where’s your dad?” Bruno asks me.
“He was here this morning but had to leave for a conference in High Society this weekend.”
“Damn, I was looking forward to seeing him,” Bruno says. “I’ll try to catch him when I go.”
Cole finally comes back. He sees Bruno, and they clasp each other in a hug. Bruno slaps Cole on the back as Alyssa wraps her arms around my leg. “I miss you, man,” Bruno says.
“Same to you,” Cole says. “It’s been way too long.”
“Agreed.” Bruno glances at my baby bump before winking at me. “You just couldn’t wait to get started, could you?” He elbows Cole’s ribs.
“Bruno!” Ayo interrupts. “There’s a child here.”
“Oh, she’s too young—”
“You’d be surprised,” Cole interrupts. “The animal channel brought up a lot of questions.”
“Like what?” Bill asks, before it clicks in his head. He slaps his forehead. “Never mind.”
“Do you know what you’re having?” Ayo asks.
“A baby brother,” Alyssa tells her proudly. “And I’m going to help take care of him.”
“I bet you’ll be the best big sister ever,” Ayo says.
“Yup,” Alyssa says. “Daddy got me a shirt with ‘number one big sister’ on it. It’s purple.”
“How sweet.” Ayo’s kindness reminds me of Grace, and I’m happy Bruno has started dating.
“They’re going to name him Bill,” Bill says. Bruno straightens and scrunches his forehead, staring at Cole to see if he’s serious.
“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Cole says.
“Why not?” Bill asks. “It’s a great name.”
“Just like Lusty, right?” I ask.
“Exactly,” Bill says.
“Well, since we’re all here, we should start,” Cole says. “Before it gets too late.”
We follow him into the backyard, and my heart begins to crumble the closer we get, all of the joy from earlier fading into silence. With somber faces, we gather around the hole, locking hands and staring at the resting box Cole had made out of planks of vinyl composite. Before he sealed it shut, we placed some of Zeus’s favorite things inside. Of course, he had to have two pillows and his favorite toys and bones. And Alyssa insisted he needed his bowls so he could eat and drink in heaven.