Even less. I haven’t done anything in three days. I tried to lay on the guilt.
You haven’t talked to Jane? Jack was suggesting that I hang out with Jane.
Wow. Things were worse than I thought. After Peter, Jane was Jack’s least favorite person in the whole world. And he was encouraging me to hang out with her? Wow.
Not so much. But I guess I could. Great idea. I replied.
Right now, Jane was probably getting drunk or giving oral sex or something. If it were earlier, we might be able to do something more reasonable, like shop. But with only two weeks until school, I knew that for her, every night would be a blur of alcohol and debauchery.
I’m just pretty busy lately. Sorry. Jack texted.
No. I totally get it. It’s great. I’ll just do something else. That’s what I said, but I knew that I was going to spend the night in bed crying myself to sleep.
No. Wait. Are you ready? Jack text messaged back, but it was too little too late.
Never mind. I’m good. I responded.
Just be ready and outside in like fifteen minutes, okay?
I didn’t reply to that. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to get ready and go outside to meet him. I honestly didn’t want a pity hang out, even if I really did miss him. It was stupid how much I missed him. But I was bored and lonely and couldn’t stand it.
Almost grudgingly, I got up and pulled on a pair of jeans. I wore a white tank top and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I quickly applied some eyeliner and mascara, and then ducked out the door, unsure if I was making the right decision or not.
When the black Jetta pulled up, I got my answer. It was absolutely the wrong decision.
Mae had come to pick me up.
I considered turning around and going back inside. What would I achieve by hanging out with her? I’d feel stupid and pathetic all night, and I was just prolonging the inevitable. When a guy sends his sister to hang out with you instead of him, I think that’s the beginning of the end.
“Hello, love,” Mae said when she had rolled down the car window. She leaned across the passenger seat towards me, looking sheepish. “Sorry, Alice. I know it’s not quite what you hoped for, but Jack thought you needed to get out of the house. ”
“You know what? I’m actually fine. ” I chewed my lip. “He’s um… he’s mistaken. I’m sure you have better things to do then baby-sit me, so I’ll just go back in. ”
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“Nonsense! You know how much I love spending time with you. So come on. Get in the car. ”
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said.
“I know. ” She nodded towards the empty seat, so I sighed and I got in the car. “It’ll be fun. You’ll see. ”
“I bet,” I leaned my head back on the seat as she pulled away. “The last time somebody came in place of Jack was when Peter picked me up. And we all know how well that turned out. ”
“This isn’t like that. ” Mae shook her head. “Jack really wanted to see you. He just can’t right now. ”
“What is he doing? Teaching Milo how to turn into a bat?” I mocked, and Mae scowled.
“A lot goes into being a vampire, you know,” she told me gravely. “Plus, he’s been helping Ezra with the business. He was supposed to fly out to Tokyo yesterday, but…” She shook her head, pursing her lips.
“But what?” I sat up straighter.
“Something must be different in your blood,” Mae exhaled, talking more to herself than me. “I don’t understand it. But something makes you all so eager to bond. Who was your father?”
“My father?” I wrinkled my nose. “What does he have to do with anything?”
“I’m trying to understand your ancestry, because you and Milo are both so unique. I’m wondering if we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Maybe you weren’t meant for Peter. Maybe you were just meant to be a vampire. ” Mae chewed her lip, looking sad and faraway. “We’re just a means to an end for you. ”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “An end to what?”
“You both bond so easily. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever encountered,” Mae said wearily.
“Milo’s super possessive of Jack, right?” I better just hurry up and resign myself to a life of mortal celibacy. “Jack kind of told me the other day. ”
“These things just take time. ”
“Why is that the answer to everything?” I scoffed. “All I ever get from you guys is that everything takes time and everything’s complicated. ”
“What else am I supposed to say?” Mae asked pointedly. “That this will never get better, no matter how much time we have? If that’s what you want to hear, I’ll be happy to tell you that. ”
“If that’s the truth, then yeah, that’s what you should say,” I said.
“Of course that’s not the truth!” Mae rolled her eyes. “Alice, the only constant in life is that everything is always changing. And that’s a little scary, but it means that things can’t be bad or hard forever. ”
“And they can’t be good or easy forever either,” I countered.
“You’ve just got to trust me on this one. ” Mae turned to me, smiling warmly at me. “I don’t know how yet, but things will end up the way they’re supposed to be. ”
“Thanks for the blanket answer. ”
“Let’s just forget about all of this,” Mae suggested. “Let’s just go have a girls night. Just the two of us. ”
“It’s after ten on a Tuesday. How much do you really think is open?” I asked.
“We’ll find something,” Mae insisted. “We’ll make do. ”
We made do with a Wal-Mart that was open 24-hours, a Denny’s where she watched me eat, and a Blockbuster. We went back to my apartment, even though the whole point of the evening was supposed to be to get me out of the house.
Mae had never been inside before, but she ooed and awed over all our second-hand junk like it was astounding. She painted my nails and played with my hair while we watched Silence of the Lambs. It was one of my favorite movies because it was so terrible, and I felt better knowing that I was forcing her to watch something so terrible.
And despite my best attempts to hate everything about the night, she did manage to cheer me up a little bit. Of course, that went away completely when she left, when I was alone again.
- 10 -
I couldn’t get out to his car fast enough.
When Jack texted me the next day and asked to hang out, I hated myself for getting so excited about it. Even though I felt ridiculous, I spent an hour preening.
I rushed outside, and Jack sat in the Jetta, grinning broadly. Pat Benetar blasted out when I opened the door. He turned it down when I hopped in, but I barely even cared.
We were alone for the first time in what felt like forever. Nobody growled at me or chastised us for being too close. I could just be with him.
“Hey,” Jack smiled.
“I don’t wanna go to your house. ”
“Why not?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Because. ” I pulled my knee up to my chest and looked at him, refusing to elaborate on my answer. I expected him to drive away or press me further, but he just nodded.
“Okay,” he smirked. “Where do you wanna go?”
“I don’t care where. Just drive. ”
“You got it. ” His eyes glinted, and he sped away from my apartment.
The buildings were a blur of lights beside us, and he had this weird ability to weave through openings in traffic that weren’t even there.
“So… how’s life with Milo?” I asked cautiously.
I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know, but I needed to know. I had to make sure Milo was okay, and I wanted to hear how Jack felt about it.
“Good,” Jack shrugged noncommittally. “I like your brother. I like having him around. ”
“I see,” I murmured.
“He’s already much
better. Pretty soon you’ll be able to be around all the time. And I’m sure it will be all the time. He really misses you too. ” Jack looked over to see if I believed him, and I wasn’t sure that I did. “He talks about you a lot. He just isn’t always thrilled when I talk about you. ”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow. “You guys talk about me? What do you say?”
“I don’t know,” he laughed. My heart flipped happily, and I settled deeper into the seat. “Nothing bad, if that’s what you’re getting at. ”
“I just wonder what you say about me when I’m not around. ”
“What do you say about me when I’m not around?” Jack countered.
“Hasn’t Milo told you?” I figured that by now, Milo had spilled everything.
“Yeah, he has, because apparently, all you ever tell him is that you’re not interested in me. ” He tried to play it off with a smile, but I saw the hurt behind his eyes. “So yeah. I got all the juicy details. ”
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“That’s not all I say. ”
“So then what do you say?” Jack asked, watching me from the corner of his eyes.
“That you’re the most dashing, handsome stranger I’ve ever met,” I said with a dramatic Southern drawl and batted my eyes at him, making him laugh. “No, I don’t know. I try not to say anything about you. ”
“Why not?”
“Cause. ” I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to talk about you. ”
“How is it hard?”
“Well… what am I supposed to say about you?” I squirmed.
“You’re supposed to say whatever you want. ”
“Things are a little too complicated for me to say what I want,” I said finally.
I didn’t know what I felt for Jack because I wouldn’t let myself think about it. To quantify it as something would put expectations and shatter things. I liked being around him and I missed him when he wasn’t there, and that was as far as I was willing to admit.
“Fair enough. ” He ran a hand through his sandy hair.
He turned to me, looking like he might say more, but his phone rang in his pocket. Cursing under his breath, he pulled it from his pocket.
“Hello?” Jack answered his phone. “Yeah. Yeah…. I’m with her now…. Yeah… Yes… Okay… Yes…. I get it… I got it…. No. I’m fine…. Yep… Okay…. Okay… Bye. ” He sighed and then shoved his phone in his pocket.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“We’re going to my house. ”
“What? Why? Who was that?” I tensed up at the thought of his house. It suddenly felt like so much drama.
“Milo. ” He pursed his lips. “He wants to see you. ”
“Does he really? Or is he just against the idea of us being alone together?”
“Both, probably. ”
“I’m a little offended actually. ” I watched out the window at the changing scenery as Jack switched directions towards his house. “Peter never got this jealous over the time we spent together. ”
“Yeah, well, Peter’s a total idiot,” Jack grumbled.
“Have you heard from him lately?” I asked offhandedly.
“Why are you asking about him?” Jack had very little tolerance for the sound of Peter’s name, but I wanted to know anyway.
“I was just wondering if anybody had heard from him,” I shrugged. “That’s all. I can be curious, can’t I?”
“I’d prefer it if you weren’t,” he admitted wearily. When I didn’t say anything for a little bit, he continued, “You took the book. ”
“Ezra said I could. ”
“Is everything to your satisfaction?” he asked icily.
“It’s a book, Jack!” I didn’t even want to dignify it with a response. “What do you think is going to happen? I’m going to run off with it and leave you in the love triangle with my brother? It wouldn’t even be a triangle anymore. It would just be an angle. ”
“An oblique angle,” Jack said, and his bout of jealousy was quickly replaced with glee. “Ha! I told you I would work that in!”
“What are you talking about?” I didn’t understand what he was getting at, but he grinned foolishly, so I was swept up in it.
“Remember? That time I took you to the concert after we first met?” His eyes danced. “And you asked what my angle was, and I said isosceles, but really I should’ve said oblique. And I said that I’d remember it for next time, and I did!”
“Wow,” I laughed.
At least we arrived at his house on a happy note. As soon as we walked inside, Matilda ran to greet us, and Milo followed her.
Seeing him was still an adjustment, and I wondered how long it would take me to get used to him. He walked like he was about to trip over his own feet but would elegantly catch himself. He was like Bambi learning to walk –all stumbles and a graceful bound.
“Hey,” Milo sounded out of breath and his smile was too bright.
He brushed his hair from his forehead, and he was even wearing it different now. It had always been just a standard guy cut, but he went for a more popular style.
“How are you?” Milo fidgeted with his sleeve. He did a weird head bob, and he reminded me of Mike Meyers from Wayne’s World. Was this Milo’s interpretation of cool?
“Good,” I answered unsurely. “You’re looking really… good. I like your hair. ”
“Thanks. ” He touched it self-consciously and blushed. It was a glimpse of cute Milo that made me miss him again. “Mae did it. ”
“She loves hair,” I said.
“Yeah,” Milo agreed absently.
He looked over to Jack and rubbed the back of his head, and that’s when it finally dawned on me. He wanted to impress Jack. He lacked the ability to mask his crush, and he had no clue what to do with himself.
Newly gay, newly vampire, and barely old enough to drive.
I felt like the biggest bitch in the world for being irritated with him. Sure, he messed up my non-relationship with Jack, but he was just a scared, confused kid. He was going through a whole huge thing that I couldn’t help him with at all, and I should be happy he had someone like Jack to show him around.
“You guys have a nice drive?” Milo looked at Jack, and his eyes were hoping that we didn’t have too nice of a drive.
“It was good,” Jack nodded.
He chewed the inside of his cheek, growing uncomfortable with the way Milo looked at him, but I think that was for my benefit. Ordinarily, I’m sure he would brush off Milo’s adoring gaze, but with me there, it felt… well, everything just felt really, really awkward.
“So, while you were gone I totally found that thing and I got to the next level,” Milo announced randomly, and it took me a second to realize he was talking about some kind of video game.
“Oh, yeah, really?” Jack looked impressed, which was a bit too much for Milo.
“Yeah!” Milo beamed. “Here, I’ll show you!”
With that, he reached out and took Jack’s hand to drag him off to the living room. The gesture was probably meant to be flirtatious in some way, but it only succeeded in making him look more like a little boy.
“I’m going to go check out the game,” Jack shot me an apologetic smile as Milo pulled him away.
Once they were gone, I took a deep breath. Things are weird, but Milo’s still Milo, Jack’s still Jack, and pretty soon we’ll have this all sorted out. Soon. That’s what I’ve gotta believe.
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“Why are you hiding in here?” Mae walked into the entryway to claim me. “I saw the boys go in the living room with those stupid games, and I couldn’t believe they left you stranded. ”
“I wasn’t really stranded,” I said, but she looped her arm through mine, leading me on through the house.
“It’s just so strange not having you around all the time. ”
“At least you don’t have to make so much food,” I sai
d, and she laughed.
“I know I’m a horrible cook, but I still love baking!”
I thought she’d take me into the living room, where she’d harass the boys until they quit playing video games. Instead, she took me past the living room and down the hallway, to Ezra’s den at the far end of the house.
It was what I’d expected of a rich vampire’s den. The walls were lined with bookcases covered in books and antiquities. A massive mahogany desk sat in the center of the room with high end computer equipment on it. A reproduction of Rembrandt’s The Mill hung above the distressed leather sofa. Behind his desk, a massive window revealed the blackened lake behind the house.
Ezra sat at the desk, staring at the computer monitor. If Mae hadn’t been dragging me in, I never would’ve entered his den. I didn’t want to break his concentration, but Mae thought nothing of it.
“Hello, love!” Mae chirped, and Ezra looked up from the screen to smile at us. “And what, pray tell, has your attention?”
“Nothing of real importance. ” He leaned back in his chair, giving the screen one last look, before turning his attention fully to us. “Just a stock tip someone told me to check into. I don’t think it’s going to be fruitful but…” He shook his head.
“Ezra doesn’t care what he’s looking up on the computer as long he’s looking it up,” Mae said with a bemused smile. “The other day I caught him watching a video of an elephant painting with his trunk. ”
“It was an elephant painting,” Ezra said, but that only succeeded in making Mae giggle. “And I suppose you’ve seen an elephant paint?”
“No, but it’s just a weird thing for you to be interested in,” Mae said, and I concurred with her entirely.
“Technology fascinates me,” Ezra allowed, then rested his eyes on me. “I can watch an elephant paint live on the internet. That sounds like nothing to you, but when I was a younger man, the poor animal would’ve been dead by the time I heard about it. This right here – this is magic. ”
“You’ll never cease to amaze me, darling. ” Mae looked at him with complete adoration. It made me uncomfortable witnessing it, as if I were spying on some private moment.
“I should hope not,” Ezra smiled back at her. She left my side and walked over to him, giving him a small but passionate kiss on the lips.
“I never will,” she promised and headed out of the room. “Well, I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about. ” Before shutting the door behind her, she smiled sadly at me.
“Mae’s never been one for subtlety,” Ezra sighed, staring at the closed door. “Go ahead. Have a seat. ”
“Okay?” I carefully sat down on the sofa behind me. “You have something to tell me”
“It’s not something I need to tell you so much as a conversation we need to have. ” Ezra moved his chair over so he wasn’t hiding behind the computer. He tried to look relaxed, but he was hesitant to meet my eyes. “Your brother’s turning was quite unexpected. ”
“For both of us,” I agreed.
“In the end, I don’t think it’s a bad decision. ” He looked at a spot on the Oriental rug on the floor, thinking. “Once everything is sorted out, he’ll be a very good fit. It’ll be a wonderful opportunity for you both. I know how important he is to you. ”
“Yes, he is,” I swallowed hard.
“As you’re finding out, new vampires require a lot of time and energy,” Ezra went on. “All of us have spent hours with him, helping him transition.