Yeah... I'm beginning to scare me, too.
1
There's an intruder here...
Zarya Starska froze in her living room as she felt the subtle shift in the air around her. Most would ignore it, but after she'd spent her entire life on alert for those out to attack or kill her, she instinctively knew whenever someone had invaded her home without an invitation.
Flinging her hand down, she felt the throwing knife she hid in a spring-loaded sheath inside her sleeve slide into her palm. Whoever was in her house was about to learn an important lesson in manners.
Bring it, punk.
Prepared to tear the intruder apart, she tilted her head down and listened carefully.
It was barely a whisper of fabric. But it was enough for her to locate the interloper. With the skills honed from a thousand battles, she lunged at the shadow in the corner.
The moment she did, he sidestepped her and disarmed her so fast, it left her breathless. The knife hit the floor with a sickening thud.
Her intruder pulled her against his chest and held her fast against a body that was rock hard and toned.
A body she knew as well as she knew her own.
"Sh, Zarya," he whispered in her ear. "I didn't mean to startle you."
She let out a relieved breath as she recognized the electronically distorted voice that kept anyone from identifying him. His entire head was covered by a black crash helmet that gave no indication of his race or species. Not that it mattered. She didn't care what he looked like.
She only cared about his heart.
And that was the part of him she craved most.
Smiling, she reached up to lay her hand on the side of his slick helmet. "Kere. What are you doing here? I thought I wouldn't see you for at least two weeks."
His arm and hand brushed over her breast making her even more breathless as he released her. "I had to see you before I left."
She felt the same way about him. Every minute they were apart was agonizing.
And speaking of, he was gone again from the room.
Zarya searched the shadows for some trace of her illusive phantom. "I swear I'm going to tie a bell to you." There was absolutely no sound of any kind to betray his movements or current location in her home. Never had she known anyone stealthier.
Not even an assassin.
The lights went out, bathing the room in utter darkness. She didn't know how he did it, but he could override any system or computer. Sadly, her own security, as high tech as it was, posed no challenge to him whatsoever. She took comfort in knowing that he'd breeched far better systems than hers with even less effort.
Still...
Her mysterious shadow was amazing.
Unable to see anything at all, Zarya smiled at his usual precaution to maintain his anonymity. This time, she heard him drop his helmet on the floor by the wall switch. "You know, my sister thinks I'm insane."
"Sisters usually do." Oh yeah, there was the sound she coveted above all others... That deep, rich baritone of his true voice that never failed to bring a smile to her lips.
He was right behind her now.
How had he gotten there so fast?
Kere turned her around and captured her lips with his. Zarya groaned at the way he kissed her. Like he wanted total possession of her entire being and she was more than willing to give it to him. No one had ever kissed her the way he did.
Like she was the air he breathed, the nourishment he needed to feed his starving soul. Like he would die if he wasn't touching her.
He nipped her lips, then pulled back. "You were telling me about Sorche."
It took her a minute to catch up to him after a kiss that hot. Her whole being was already on fire and she couldn't think past wanting to lick every inch of his lush body.
"Wha... oh, yeah. She thinks I'm crazy for having a relationship with a man when I don't even know what his hair color is."
He buried his lips at the base of her throat where his breath scorched her skin. "So what did you say to her?"
She cradled his head and slid her fingers through his straight shoulder-length hair. She always imagined it black, but to be honest, she had no way of really knowing since she'd never seen any part of his body in the light. He just seemed like he'd have black hair for some reason. It would match his ruthless battle skills and his near suicidal antics.
"When you've seen someone's soul, you don't need to know his hair color."
He nuzzled her skin, raising chills all over her, before he pulled back. "You've known a lot more of me than that."
It was true. While she had no clue as to his race or physical looks, she had licked every part of him enough to know he was at least humanoid, ripped, and that he tasted divine...
He opened the front of her battlesuit and slid it slowly down her body, pausing only to nip at her hipbone--an action that made her crazy with lust.
Kneeling in front of her, he helped her step out of her clothes and weapons. She could feel his hot breath against her thigh. Something that made her wet as her heart raced even more at the prospect of what he'd be doing to her shortly.
Suddenly, his hand brushed against the center of her body, causing her to throb terribly as he removed her panties.
Then he rose slowly, dragging his hand up the inside of her calf before he brushed his fingers through the hair at the juncture of her thighs. "Have you eaten?" He cupped her between her legs.
"I... I... um..." She forgot the question as he deftly fingered her with a rhythm so perfect it left her weak and trembling.
He paused his play to whisper in her ear. "Food, Zarya. Have you eaten?"
She smiled. He always worried about her. "On the way home. I stopped by Ture's restaurant."
Kere returned to his sweet torture, his rhythm faster this time while he stroked her with his thumb and buried two fingers deep inside her body. "Good."
And before she could translate that one word, she cried out as she came for him.
Kere caught her against his chest as he continued to wring even more pleasure out of her, until she was shuddering so hard she would have fallen but for his hold on her. She never understood how he could do that to her so fast. It was like he knew exactly where and how to touch her to set her senses reeling.
He swung her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom so that he could lay her down on her bed.
She laughed as he pulled back to undress. "The bed? How extremely atypical of you."
"I told you I could be civilized."
Only his lilting, accented speech was refined--and even that, only sometimes. The rest of him...
He was always feral. Terrifying.
Lethal.
And she loved him that way. Being with him was like lying down with a wild animal you knew could rip you to shreds if it wanted, and yet it purred only for your touch. That knowledge made being with him all the more alluring.
All the hotter.
She tried to find him in the darkness, but there was no trace. She knew he could see her though. He never had any trouble seeing in the darkest places. She'd asked him once if he was Ritadarion or Trisani--two races known for their abilities to see in the dark without light. But he'd refused to answer.
Then again, he wouldn't tell anyone anything about himself that could be used to identify him. As an outlaw herself, it was a precaution she well understood. His wasn't the only life on the line. If he were ever identified, every member of his family and all his Sentella allies and friends would be executed, too.
Not that she would ever do anything to threaten or harm him.
He meant too much to her for that.
Wanting to please him as much as he'd pleasured her, she spread her legs and bent her knees in silent invitation. "You know, I was only teasing you when I sent that text."
"You want me to leave then?" he asked in that wonderful baritone that had a way of sending chills over her. Gods, how she lived for the sound of his true voice...
Most of all,
she loved to hear him laugh. It was the most infectious sound that seemed to come from some place deep within him.
"No," she said quickly. "But you didn't have to come here tonight. I wasn't trying to be clingy. I just wanted you to know that."
"I'm already away from you more than I like."
It was true. They only saw each other maybe two or three times a month, if they were lucky. The rest of the time, they were relegated to texting and scrying... at least she scried so that he could see her while they talked. He, on the other hand, was only a deep, sexy voice with no face. But she cherished every piece of contact she had with him.
Even when it was at a cloaked distance.
Reaching down, she opened herself up even more so that he could have all the access to her body that he wanted.
He sucked his breath in sharply. "Woman, you know what it does to me when you do that." The bed dipped under his weight as he crawled up from between her feet. "Now what have we here?"
She hissed as he took her into his mouth so that he could tongue her into oblivion. Biting her lip, she buried her hand in his soft hair and lifted her hips for him.
Never in her life had she been so open with or reliant on anyone, and she'd done things with him that she'd have never thought herself capable of. Things that should have shamed her to the core of her soul, but she'd learned to trust him implicitly. And it wasn't just the sex. She held a faith in him that defied explanation. For the first time, she understood what it meant to share herself with someone. To need a man by her side.
As far back as Zarya could remember, she'd always held a piece of herself away from other people. She'd only been a child when her father had been branded a traitor and her mother and sister brutally murdered. In that one instant, she'd been forced to grow up and had learned to trust no one. Ever. Not with her safety. Not with her secrets. And definitely not with her heart.
But from the moment she'd met Kere, it'd been different.
Unlike the other men in her life, he'd never once hurt or betrayed her. Never walked out on her at a critical moment. If she needed anything, he was there without fail, or complaint, or hesitation. No matter the time, day or night.
Even if it was nothing more than appearing in her home after a simple text that had said her heart would break if she had to wait two weeks to see him again.
In spite of the fact that he was one of the most wanted outlaws in the United Systems, he was the most attentive lover she'd ever known. He seemed to take as much pleasure from watching her climax as he did from experiencing his own.
And she couldn't bear the thought of living a life where he wasn't a major part of it. "Kere?"
"Mmm?"
She gasped as he slid his tongue deep inside her body, sending a shiver over her. It was hard to think whenever he touched her, but this she couldn't forget about. "I heard the League was stepping up their efforts to go after Sentella members, especially the High Command"--Kere was one of their five leaders--"and that the Caronese Grand Counsel has tripled the reward he's offering for your capture in particular, and quadrupled the one for your death. He's ruthlessly determined to end our Resistance and assassinate all of us in leadership roles. You are being extra careful, aren't you?"
"Always."
Good, because she knew she couldn't live without him. The thought of his being hurt...
She choked on a sob.
"Hey," he breathed, sliding up her body to cup her cheek. "Shh... no tears, Zarya." He brushed his lips against her cheek to kiss away the tear that had fallen. "They're not going to get me. I swear it to you. I'm not afraid of the Grand Counsel or anyone else."
"I know. I'm being stupid. I'm so sorry." The last thing she wanted was to taint or spoil what little time she had with him.
"Never apologize for loving me."
She nodded as she struggled to stop her tears. But it was so hard. It seemed like everyone she'd ever loved had been violently ripped out of her life. Most of them right in front of her. "I've buried too many people I care about to lose you, too." She'd worn their blood on her clothes and had watched as the life drained out of their bodies...
Her own brother had died in her arms...
"You won't bury me, Z."
Yeah, because his enemies, who were too numerous to count, would probably blow him into so many pieces there wouldn't be enough left for a ceremony.
At times, she wished she could have fallen in love with some businessman or cook or anyone who didn't live in their violent world.
But fate hadn't been that kind to her.
She loved one of the three most wanted men in all the universe. The other two being his closest friends.
If one of them went down, it would most likely take all three. Don't think about it. But it was so hard when all she could see was Kere lying dead on the ground.
"The League raised the bounty on your head, too."
"It's okay, Z. I knew the minute they posted it. They're not going to get me, either. I promise."
That was what her father had told her, over and over again. And where was he?
In his grave. Ruthlessly murdered by his own best friend.
Kere rolled over onto his back and pulled her on top of him. She savored the feel of his hard body under hers as he teased her lips with his. He was nothing but a solid wall of scarred muscle. Scars that reminded her that no matter how strong he seemed, he wasn't invulnerable or invincible.
Terrified of losing him, Zarya breathed in his warm masculine scent. He always smelled delectable and that went a long way in soothing her fears and terror.
She dragged her fingers down his whiskered jaw. "You need a shave."
"I thought you liked it when I let my whiskers grow."
That was because he did things to her with those whiskers that always set her on fire.
Her smile died as she touched his back and found...
Was it a bandage?
"You're wounded?" Pulling him to his side, she ran her hand over the coarse material and found where it was wet with fresh blood. The smell and feel of it was unmistakable and undeniable.
"It's not bad. Just a flesh wound."
Was he serious? It was an awfully large bandage for a mere flesh wound. "Shot?"
"Stabbed."
"Oh my God!" She scrambled off his hips and forced him to roll over so that she could gently probe his wound with her fingers. "I wish I could see it."
"Nothing but sutures to see."
She gentled her probing so that she wouldn't hurt him, but it bothered her that she had no real idea how big or deep it was. "Was it an assassin?"
"Yeah."
"Where?"
"My back. Obviously."
She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. He could be so damned impossible at times. "No, goofball. Where were you when he struck?"
"Coming out of a restaurant. The crowd was thick and I know better than to get distracted. It was stupid and it won't happen again."
But it'd already happened. A few more inches and it would have punctured his lung and killed him. The mere thought of it made her light-headed and shaky. "Where's the assassin now?"
"Hell's gates most likely, though I guess there's a slim chance he might be in paradise."
She flicked her fingernail at his bandage. "You're not funny."
"Zarya, it's all right." He rolled back over and pulled her into his arms. "It's why I wanted to see you. Why I'm here with you tonight when I'm supposed to be halfway across the universe. It made me start rethinking some things."
But she wasn't ready to listen to him yet. "Where was the rest of the Sentella when you were attacked?"
"No idea. We don't live together. And they're not exactly my keepers."
"They should be... Are you laughing at me?" She had the distinct impression that he was.
"No, love. Never. I'm just amused by your outrage. No woman has ever given a single shit when I've been hurt." This time, she heard the thick emotion in his voice as he brushed her hair back fr
om her face, then laid a very tender kiss on her cheek.
She savored that touch so much. Her worst fear was having to live in a world where she felt it no more. "Don't die on me, Kere. Please."
"I don't intend to. In fact..." His voice trailed off.
She had no idea what he intended until he slid something cold onto her finger.
Her heart stopped as she covered it with her hand and felt the contours of it.
No, it couldn't be.
Could it?
No matter how she tried to rationalize it, there was no mistaking the huge stone that was set in the middle of two smaller ones. "Is this--"
"I want you to marry me, Zarya," he said, interrupting her. "I need you in my life. Every day. By my side. I know it sounds strange, but when I'm with you, I'm the man I always wanted to be. The one I feel I was born to be. And when I'm not, it's like I'm lost to someone else... and I don't like him anymore--not that I ever really did. But since I've known you, I've learned to detest that part of me with a passion. And I can't keep living the lie that was forced on me."
"What lie?"
He was silent for several seconds before he answered. "My whole life is a lie. From beginning to end. I have to be so careful with everything I say and do. I can't drop my guard for even a heartbeat, and I don't dare let anyone see the real me. Ever... except for you. You are my only truth. The only one who knows who I really am and what I really think. And I have to have you with me before I really do go insane. I can't stand being without you anymore. Please say yes."
Her heart soared until she remembered one small fact.
He refused to let her see his face or body.
Ever.
"I'm going to look really strange blindfolded at my wedding."
He laughed. "You won't be blindfolded."
"You'll look strange, standing there in your full battle gear."
Kere kissed her lips and this time, she felt his smile. "I won't be in battle gear."
Her breath caught at what he was implying... Could it be? "You're going to let me finally see you?" She reached for her lamp switch.
He caught her hand before she could turn the light on. "Not yet. I have a few things I have to put in order first. But I promise you, the next time we meet, you will see me for who and what I am. All of me."
"I know who and what you are."
His grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly. "No, you've only seen my soul, never my face, and I need a promise from you before you do."
"Anything."