"Let us go into the kitchen."
"A war kitchen, but you may go down into it without fear, myconqueror."
"I am nowise afraid, and I follow you," said Lamme.
The lad took the tiller.
Going down they saw everywhere bags of grain, of beans, peas, carrots,and other vegetables.
The boatman then said to them, opening the door of a small forge:
"Since ye are men of valiant heart and know the cry of the lark,the bird of the free, and the warrior clarion of the cock, and thebraying of the ass, the gentle worker, I am minded to show you mywar kitchen. This little forge you will find such an one in mostMeuse boats. No one can be suspicious of it, for it serves to mendand repair the ironwork of the vessels; but what all do not possessis the goodly vegetables contained in these cupboards."
Then removing some stones that covered the floor of the hold, heraised a few planks, and pulled up a fine sheaf of musket barrels,and lifting it as if it had been a feather, he put it back in itsplace; then he showed them lance heads, halberds, sword blades;bags of bullets, bags of powder.
"Long live the Beggar!" said he; "here are beans and their sauce,the musket stocks are legs of mutton, the salads are these halberdheads, and these musket barrels are ox shins for the soup offreedom. Long live the Beggar! Where am I to take this victual?" heasked Ulenspiegel.
"To Nimeguen, where you will enter with your boat still more heavilyladen, with real vegetables, brought you by the peasants, which youwill take on board at Etsen, at Stephansweert, and at Ruremonde. Andthey, too, will sing like the lark, the bird of the free; you shallanswer with the warlike clarion of the cock. You are to go to thehouse of Doctor Pontus, who lives beside the Nieuwe-Waal; you areto tell him you are coming to the city with vegetables, but thatyou fear the drought. While the peasants go to the market to sellthe vegetables at a price too dear for any to buy, he will tell youwhat you are to do with your weapons. I think, too, that he willdirect you to pass, not without danger, by the Wahal, the Meuse, orthe Rhine, exchanging vegetables for nets for sale, so that you maywander with the Harlingen fishing boats, where there are many sailorsthat know the lark's song; skirt the coast by the Waden, and get tothe Lauwer-Zee; exchange the nets for iron and lead; give costumesof Marken, Vlieland, and Ameland to your peasants; remain awhile onthe coasts, fishing and salting down your fish to keep it and not tosell it, for to drink cool and make war on salt is a lawful thing."
"Wherefore, let us drink," said the boatman.
And they went up on the deck.
But Lamme, falling into melancholy:
"Master boatman," said he, suddenly, "you have here in your forgea little fire so bright that for certain one might cook with it themost delicious of hotpots. My throat is thirsty for soup."
"I will refresh you," said the man.
And speedily he served him a rich soup, in which he had boiled athick slice of salt ham.
When Lamme had swallowed a few spoonfuls, he said to the boatman:
"My throat is peeling, my tongue is burning: this is no hotpot."
"'Cool drink and salt war', it was written," replied Ulenspiegel.
Then the boatman filled up the tankards, and said:
"I drink to the lark, the bird of freedom."
Ulenspiegel said:
"I drink to the cock, blowing the clarion of war."
Lamme said:
"I drink to my wife; may she never be athirst, the poor darling."
"You are to go as far as Emden by the North Sea," said Ulenspiegelto the boatman. "Emden is a refuge for us."
"The sea is wide," said the boatman.
"Wide for the battle," said Ulenspiegel.
"God is with us," said the boatman.
"Who then shall be against us?" replied Ulenspiegel.
"When do you depart?" said he.
"Immediately," replied Ulenspiegel.
"Good voyage and a following wind. Here are powder and bullets." Andkissing them, he brought them ashore, after carrying the two donkeyson his neck and shoulders like lambs.
Ulenspiegel and Lamme having mounted them, they started for Liege.
"My son," said Lamme, as they went on their way, "how did that man,so strong as he is, allow himself to be so cruelly thumped by me?"
"So that everywhere we go," said Ulenspiegel, "terror may precedeyou. That will be a better escort to us than twenty landsknechts. Whowould henceforth dare to attack Lamme the mighty, the conqueror;Lamme the bull without peer, who with his head, before the eyes andto the knowledge of everyone, overthrew the Stercke Pier, Peter theStrong, who carries asses like lambs and lifts with one shoulder acart of beer barrels? Everyone knows you here already; you are Lammethe terrible, Lamme the invincible, and I walk in the shadow of yourprotection. Everyone will know you along the way we are to go, noone will dare to look on you with an unfriendly eye, and consideringthe great valour of mankind, you will find nothing on your path butlouting, salutations, homage, and venerations offered to the mightof your redoubtable fist."
"You speak well, my son," said Lamme, drawing himself up in his saddle.
"And I speak the truth," replied Ulenspiegel. "Do you see thesecurious faces in the first houses of this village? They are pointingthe finger, showing to one another Lamme, the terrific conqueror. Doyou see these men that look at you with envy and these poor cowardsthat doff their kerchiefs! Reply to their salutation, Lamme, my dear;disdain not the poor weak common herd. See the children know yourname and repeat it with awe and fear."
And Lamme passed by, proud and stately, saluting to the right and tothe left like a king. And the word of his prowess followed him fromburg to burg, from city to city, to Liege, Choquier, to Neuville,Vesin, and Namur which they avoided because of the three preachers.
They went on thus a long time, following up rivers, streams, andcanals. And everywhere to the lark's song answered the crowing ofthe cock. And everywhere for the work of liberty men founded forgesand furbished the weapons that went away on the ships that skirtedalong the coasts.
And they passed the tolls in casks, in cases, in baskets.
And there were found always good folk to receive them and to concealthem in a sure place, with powder and bullets, until the hour of God.
And Lamme wending his way with Ulenspiegel, still preceded by hisvictorious reputation, began himself to believe in his great strength,and becoming proud and bellicose, he let his hair grow long. AndUlenspiegel christened him "Lamme the Lion."
But Lamme did not hold steadfast in the design because of theirritation of the young growth on the fourth day. And he had the razorpassed over his conquering face, which appeared to Ulenspiegel oncemore, round and full like a sun, lit up with the flame of good victual.
In this wise they came to Stockem.
XXVIII
About nightfall, having left their asses at Stockem, they enteredinto the city of Antwerp.
And Ulenspiegel said to Lamme:
"Lo this great city; here the whole world piles up its riches: gold,silver, spices, gilded leather, Gobelin tapestry cloth, stuffsof velvet, wool, and silk; beans, peas, grain, meat, and flour,salted hides, Louvain wines, wines of Namur, of Luxembourg, Liege,Landtwyn from Brussels and from Aerschot, Buley wines whose vineyardis beside the Plante gate at Namur, Rhine wines, wines from Spainand Portugal; grape oil from Aerschot that they call Landolium; winesof Burgundy, Malvoisie and so many more. And the quays are cumberedwith merchandise.
"These riches of earth and of human toil bring into this place themost beautiful light ladies that are."
"You are growing dreamy," said Lamme.
Ulenspiegel answered:
"I shall find the Seven among them. It was told me:
In ruins, blood and tears, seek!
What then is there that causeth more of ruin than light wenches? Is itnot in their company that poor witless men lose their goodly carolus,shining and chinking; their jewels, chains, and rings, and come awaywithout a doublet, ragged and despoiled, even with
out their linen;while the girls grow fat upon their spoils? Where is the red clearblood that used to course in their veins? 'Tis leek juice now. Or else,indeed, to enjoy their sweet and lovely bodies do they not fight withknife, with dagger, with sword, without pity? The corpses borne away,pale, and bloody, are corpses of the love-distraught. When the fatherscolds and remains on his chair with forbidding looks; when his whitehairs seem whiter and stiffer; when from his dry eyes, wherein burnsthe grief at a son's loss, the tears refuse to flow; when the mother,silent and pale as a dead woman, weeps as if she saw nothing beforeher now save all the sorrows that this world holdeth, who is it makesthose tears to fall? The gay ladies that love but themselves and money,and hold the world, thinking or working or philosophizing, fastenedto the end of their golden girdle. Aye, it is there the Seven are,and we shall go, Lamme, among the girls. Perchance thy wife is amongthem; that will be a double sweep of the net."
"I am willing," said Lamme.
It was then in the month of June, towards the end of the summer,when the sun was already reddening the leaves on the chestnuts, whenthe little birds sing in the trees and there is never a mite so smallthat he does not chirp for pleasure to be so warm in the grass.
Lamme wandered beside Ulenspiegel through the streets of Antwerp,hanging his head and dragging his body along like a house.
"Lamme," said Ulenspiegel, "you are plunged in melancholy; do you notknow that nothing is worse for the skin; if you persist in your grief,you will lose it in strips. And it will be a fine word to hear whenthey say of you: 'Lamme the flayed.'"
"I am hungry," said Lamme.
"Come and eat," said Ulenspiegel.
And they went together to the Old Stairs, where they ate choeselsand drank dobbel-cuyt as much as they could carry.
And Lamme wept no more.
And Ulenspiegel said:
"Blessed be the good beer that maketh thy soul all sunny! Laughestand shakest thy big paunch. How I love to see thee dance of themerry entrails."
"My son," said Lamme, "they would dance far more if I had the goodluck to find my wife again."
"Let us go and seek for her," said Ulenspiegel.
They came thus to the quarter of the Lower Scheldt.
"Look," said Ulenspiegel to Lamme, "see that little house all made ofwood, with handsome windows, well opened and glazed with little squarepanes; consider these yellow curtains and that red lamp. There, my son,behind four casks of bruinbier, of uitzet, of dobbel-cuyt, and Amboisewine, sits a beauteous baesine of fifty years or upwards. Every yearshe lived gave her a fresh layer of bacon. Upon one of the casksshines a candle, and there is a lantern hung to the beams of theroof. It is bright and dark there, dark for love, bright for payment."
"But," said Lamme, "this is a convent of the devil's nuns, and thisbaesine is its abbess."
"Aye," said Ulenspiegel, "'tis she that leadeth in Beelzebub's name,down the path of sin fifteen lovely girls of amorous life, which findwith her shelter and food, but it is forbidden to them to sleep there."
"Do you know this convent?" said Lamme.
"I am going to look for your wife therein. Come."
"No," said Lamme, "I have taken thought and will not go in."
"Wilt thou let thy friend expose himself all alone in the midst ofthese Astartes?"
"Let him not go there," said Lamme.
"But if he must go in to find the Seven and your wife?" repliedUlenspiegel.
"I would rather sleep," said Lamme.
"Come on then," said Ulenspiegel, opening the door and thrustingLamme in front of him. "See, the baesine stays behind her casks,between two candles; the chamber is large, with a roof of blackenedoak with smoked beams. All around reign benches, lame-leggedtables covered with glasses, quart pots, goblets, tankards, jugs,flasks, bottles, and other implements of drinking. In the middle arestill more tables and chairs whereon are enthroned odds and ends,the which are women's capes, gilded belts, velvet shoes, bagpipes,fifes, shawms. In a corner is a ladder leading to the upper story. Alittle bald hunchback plays on a clavecin mounted on glass feet thatmake the sound of the instrument grating. Dance, my fat lad. Fifteenlovely ladies are sitting, some on the tables, some on the chairs,a leg here, a leg there, bending, upright, leaning on an elbow,thrown back, lying on their back or on their side, at their pleasure,clad in white, in red, their arms bare like their shoulders, too,and their bosom down to the waist. There are some of every kind;choose! For some the light of the candles, caressing their fairhair, leaves in the shadow their blue eyes, of which nothing can beseen but the gleaming of their liquid fire. Others, looking at theceiling, sigh to the viol some German ballade. Some round, brown,plump, brazen-faced, are drinking from full tankards Amboise wine, andshow their round arms, bare to the shoulder, their half-opened dress,whence come out the apples of their breasts, and shamelessly talk withtheir mouths full, one after the other or all at once. Listen to them."
"A straw for money to-day! it is love we must have, love at ourown choice," said the lovely ladies, "child's love, youth's love,whoever pleases us, and no paying."--"Yesterday was the day when onepaid, to-day is the day when one loves!" "Who so would fain drinkat our lips, they are still moist from the bottle. Wine and kisses,it is a whole feast!" "A straw for widows that lie all alone!" "Weare girls! 'Tis the day of charity to-day. To the young, the strong,and the comely, we will open our arms. Something to drink!" "Darling,is it for the battle of love that your heart is beating the tambourinein your breast! What a pendulum! 'Tis the clock of kisses. Whenwill they come, full hearts and empty purses? Do they not scent outdainty adventures? What is the difference between a young Beggarand Monsieur the Markgrave? Monsieur pays in florins and the youngBeggar in caresses. Long live the Beggar! Who will go and wake upthe graveyards?"
Thus spake the good, the ardent, and the gay among the ladies ofamorous life.
But there were others of them with narrow faces, lean shoulders, whomade of their bodies a shop for savings, and liard by liard harvestedthe price of their thin flesh. And these were fuming among themselves:"It is very foolish for us to refuse payment in this fatiguing trade,for these ridiculous whimsies running in the heads of girls thatare wild over men. If they have a cantle of the moon in their heads,we have none, and prefer not to have to drag around in our old agelike them, in rags in the gutter, but to be paid since we are forsale. A straw for this gratis! Men are ugly, stinking, grumbling,greedy, drunken. It is nothing but them that turns poor women to ill!"
But the young and beautiful ones did not hear these speeches, andall in their pleasure and drinkings said: "Do you hear the passingbells ringing in Notre Dame? We are on fire! Who will go and wakenthe graveyards?"
Lamme seeing so many women all at once, brunette and fair, fresh andwithered, was ashamed; lowering his eyes he cried out: "Ulenspiegel,where are you?"
"He is dead and gone, my friend," said a great stout girl taking holdof his arm.
"Dead and gone?" said Lamme.
"Aye," said she, "three hundred years ago, in the company of Jacobusde Coster van Maerlandt."
"Let me go," said Lamme, "and do not pinch me. Ulenspiegel, whereare you? Come and save your friend! I am going away immediately ifyou do not let me go."
"You will not go away," they said.
"Ulenspiegel," said Lamme, again, piteously, "where are you, myson? Madame, do not pull my hair in this way; it is not a wig, Iassure you. Help! Do you not think my ears red enough, without yourbringing the blood to them besides? There is that other one fillipingme all the time. You are hurting me! Alas! what are they rubbing myface with now? A looking glass! I am black as the jaws of an oven. Iwill be angry in a minute if you do not stop; it is ill done of youto torment a poor man like this. Let me go! When you have tugged meby my breeches to right, to left, from all sides, and have made mego like a shuttle, will you be any the fatter for it? Aye, I shallget angry without a doubt."
"He will get angry," said they, mocking; "he will get angry, the goodman. Laugh rather, and sing us a
love lay."
"I will sing one of blows, if you wish, but let me alone."
"Whom do you love here?"
"Nobody, neither you nor the others. I will complain to the magistratesand he will have you whipped."
"Oh, indeed!" they said. "Whipped! And suppose we were to kiss youby main force before this whipping?"
"Me?" said Lamme.
"You," said they all.
And thereupon the lovely and the ugly, the fresh and the faded, thebrown and the fair all rushed upon Lamme, flung his bonnet into theair, and his cloak, too, and fell to caressing him, kissing him onthe cheek, the nose, the back, with all their might.
The baesine laughed between her candles.
"Help!" cried Lamme; "help, Ulenspiegel; sweep away all thisrubbish. Let me go. I want none of your kisses; I am married, God'sblood! and keep all for my wife."
"Married," said they; "but your wife has over much: a man of yourcorpulence. Give us a little. Faithful woman, 'tis well and good;a faithful man, he is a capon. God keep you! you must choose, or weshall whip you in our turn."
"I will do no such thing," said Lamme.
"Choose," said they.
"No," said he.
"Will you have me?" said a pretty, fair girl: "See, I am gentle,and I love whoever loves me."
"Let me alone," said Lamme.
"Will you have me?" said a delicious girl, who had black hair, eyesand complexion all brown, and in everything else made to perfectionby the angels.
"I don't like gingerbread," said Lamme.