Everyone in the room sprang out of their seats and into the packed foyer. Adelaide was right beside me as we sprinted across the room, pushing our way through as we desperately tried to see if the impossible was truly possible. And it wasn’t just us. Chaos reigned.
Every time I’d lost someone, the same questions always tormented me. I’d ponder if I could have done anything differently. I’d ask myself if it was fair that I lived while they died. I wondered how I was going to get through without them.
But I’d never asked what would happen if one of these people came back. Because no matter how much their loss hurt me or how much I ruminated over what had happened, I’d always accepted that it had happened. It was done and over. No one came back from death.
And yet . . . Tamsin stood right in front of me.
We couldn’t stop hugging each other. The three of us laughed, cried, and babbled apologies that none of us heard. We were too consumed with each other, too caught up in the miracle that somehow, against all understanding, we’d been reunited.
“Friends! Friends!” Jasper had climbed on top of a chair and was attempting to be heard over the commotion. “You’re witnessing a miracle right before our eyes. Something none of us thought possible. I’ve just learned that—as you can no doubt tell—the Gray Gull wasn’t lost at sea! It sustained great damage in the storm and was blown off course—far, far north to the colony of Grashond.”
Adelaide’s shock mirrored my own. Tamsin’s grim nod told us he spoke the truth.
“Who do I have to thank for this?” exclaimed Jasper. “Who do I have to thank for saving my girls?”
The young man who’d first spoken at the door—Gideon Stewart—was singled out and promptly became Jasper’s favorite person in the world. Jasper swept him and the other leaders from Grashond away, showering them with gratitude and promises of gifts.
“They won’t take anything,” said Tamsin. She pulled a white kerchief off her head and shook her fiery hair free. “They saw it as their duty from Uros to bring us here.”
She seemed understandably happy to be here, but there was a weariness—both physical and mental—in her that was impossible to miss. “We shouldn’t be standing around like this,” I said. “Everyone should be resting. And eating too. When was the last time you ate?”
“I don’t know,” said Tamsin. “Last night, I guess? It’s pretty much been all salt fish since we left. They have loads of it up there. It all runs together after a while.”
With the initial shock over, Mistress Culpepper had recovered herself and jumped into the organizational and administrative role she excelled at. Along with the returned girls, the Grashond settlers needed accommodations. There were Gray Gull sailors there as well, and although she wouldn’t dream of letting them stay in the house, she did make sure they were made comfortable until they could settle up business matters with Jasper.
Tamsin was assigned to our room, obviously, and Adelaide and I both badly wanted to know what had happened in her time away. She didn’t seem up to any interrogation and simply said that her ordeal had been “not awful,” so we let her be and mostly just basked in the joy of having her back.
When Tamsin was cleaning up in the washroom, Adelaide said to me, “If she really is okay like she told us, why won’t she talk about it?”
I reflected back on the string of tragedies I’d seen in my own life. “Sometimes, when you go through something like that, it takes a while for you to want to talk about it.”
I had no idea what living with the Heirs of Uros must have been like. That sect had settled Grashond years ago in order to build a community focused around the strict and austere principles of their faith. Their religion wasn’t heretical since they didn’t alter any of the orthodox doctrine, holidays, or texts, but they stripped down anything they thought was indulgent or excessive. They didn’t strike me as fun people to be around.
Heloise, who’d become the emerald and now was engaged, gave her clothes to Tamsin. Once clean, fed, and dressed in green, Tamsin was ready to talk. But not about herself.
“I hope you’ve left some men for the rest of us.” She sat on the bed and clasped her hands, looking between Adelaide and me expectantly. “You must have both gotten slews of offers by now.”
Where did I even begin to explain what had happened to me? I kept my answer brief and vague. “Not that many in the way of, ah, official ones. But I feel optimistic about my future.”
Tamsin’s hard gaze swiveled to Adelaide, and I realized I had no idea what had occurred in her meeting. She stammered out a recap of what had happened between her and Cedric, as well as the judgment they’d received.
“Cedric and I can get married, with conditions. His father and uncle won’t advance us money to cover my contract—but Warren will. He says he doesn’t want someone who doesn’t love him in return and would rather cut his losses by recruiting upstanding citizens for his new colony. So we’re going with him to Hadisen next week. I’ll find a family to board me in exchange for housework and teaching their children. Cedric’s going to work a gold claim. He’ll get to keep some of the profit, and Warren gets the rest. When the contract’s paid off, we can get married and go somewhere else.”
Something in her tone made me suspect she was well aware of Cedric’s controversial faith and his plans to go to Westhaven Colony.
I didn’t know which was more outlandish: accepting help from the man she’d spurned or the thought of dapper Cedric working outside and panning for gold.
Tamsin, as usual, had no shortage of speech. “What were you thinking? You turned down a future governor for . . . what, an impoverished student?”
Adelaide looked at her feet. We were both beyond ecstatic to have Tamsin back, but feeling the full force of her personality again took a little adjustment. “Well, he dropped out of the university. And he’s not impoverished. He’s just . . . um, without assets. But I’m sure that will change.”
“This would have never happened if I’d been around to look after you.” Tamsin turned her chastisement toward me. “Mira, how could you have stood for this?”
“I had no idea,” I said honestly.
“You’re her roommate! How could you not?”
How indeed. I didn’t have a good answer and again berated myself for neglecting my friend. Adelaide looked guilty as well and probably thought it was her fault for not telling me. Between us and Tamsin’s reticence to talk, we were a circle full of secrets.
In the week that followed, I saw little of Adelaide. She and Cedric were swamped with preparations for a journey that other settlers had been planning for months. Tamsin, on the other hand, was a nearly constant companion. The arrival of twenty new girls had completely changed the way the Glittering Court functioned. Normally, the social season would be winding down. Instead, it was almost like they had to reset and start all over again.
“We’ll have to sponsor another great ball,” I overheard Jasper saying to Charles one afternoon. “It’ll be an expense we didn’t plan for, but we’ve also got a profit coming in that we’d written off. The sensationalism of this is already spreading. The Lost Girls. Missing at sea, surviving in the wilderness—but still here, beautiful and refined. This’ll renew interest from those who passed on the first batch and pull in men who weren’t even considering marriage. We should go back over the prices we’d settled for each one and consider raising them.”
“Jasper, I recognize the importance of recouping our losses. But by the Six, don’t start pushing these girls into parties right away, not after everything they’ve been through.”
“Of course I won’t. We need time to plan new events and get them outfitted first. All their original clothes were lost, but we can save money by altering the dresses of all the engaged girls. And,” Jasper added, “if any girls do want to jump right in, not even you can deny them that.”
Tamsin was one of those girls. Two nights afte
r the Flower Festival, Governor Doyle hosted a party celebrating the anniversary of Cape Triumph’s settlement. I still had misgivings about the deal Adelaide and Cedric had gotten enmeshed in, made worse by the fact that Cedric—a secret heretic—was locked into a business contract with a self-proclaimed heretic hunter. But Adelaide and Cedric were also desperate. Whatever his beliefs on religion, Warren had given them fair terms in his deal. The two of them remained wary, but as long as they fulfilled their half, everything would hopefully work out.
“I’m so excited,” Tamsin told me as we prepared for the Doyle party. She’d required almost no alterations to fit into Heloise’s clothes and looked stunning in a celadon silk gown that bared her shoulders. “This must be old to you by now, but being able to wear something like this feels like a dream after those shabby things they put us in.”
For me, the dream was still just having her back. I’d often find myself watching her and wondering if I’d suddenly blink and find her gone again. More and more pieces of what had happened to them had leaked out from the other girls. Along with the Grashond settlers, they’d apparently encountered Icori, Lorandian traders, and Balanquans while waiting for warmer weather to travel in. Tamsin occasionally offered up tidbits but otherwise remained reticent about her adventures.
Her return was pretty much the only thing that could distract me from constantly moping over the fallout with Grant. I still did plenty of it, of course. He’d had such a central role in my life, and now, he was gone. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore them, little and unexpected things would remind me of him. Some weren’t so subtle, though. It was impossible not to think of him when I choked down a bitter herbal mixture twice a day that I’d “borrowed” from the stash Mistress Culpepper kept around for newly married girls. It was one of a number of concoctions our Female Studies book recommended for preventing pregnancy. It was also, from what I’d heard, the worst tasting, but that was a small price to pay in order to keep my life from becoming even more chaotic.
“You look beautiful, but you don’t have to go out so soon,” I told Tamsin. “No one would blame you if you wanted to recover after all that hardship.”
“The only hardship I’ve faced is wasting five weeks that could’ve been spent looking for a husband.” She paused to tuck in a minuscule strand of hair that had crept out of her updo. “I could’ve been married by now. I should’ve been married by now. That’s what I came here for—not trekking through a frozen wasteland.”
We heard a call outside our room that it was time to go to the coaches. I touched Tamsin’s arm before she walked out. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here.” It took a great deal of effort for me to say that. I too understood wanting to keep pain locked in—and how it could eat you up.
Her fierce expression melted into a smile. “I know you are. And I’m here too if you want to talk. I can tell Adelaide’s not the only one with problems.” The smile diminished, growing sad now. “I should’ve been here to keep you both in line. I . . . I never should’ve gotten on the other ship.”
“It’s in the past. You’re safe, and you’re back. Let’s go to your first party.”
She was right that our social life had become old for me. Seeing her face when we stepped into the Doyle mansion reminded me just how truly indifferent I was now. She asked to be introduced to Warren, and I was happy to oblige. I wanted an excuse to speak with him as well. Even though I’d cut myself off from the case, it was hard not to pursue leads in the conspiracy. With Adelaide out of the picture, I hoped he’d finally start talking to another girl.
And he did. Tamsin.
To be fair, she was such a powerful force that it was hard for anyone else to steal the scene from her. The two girls she’d tied with had been on the Gray Gull, and they too had been eager to jump back into the Glittering Court. They’d immediately honed in on Warren, but Tamsin captured his attention so well, they never stood a chance. That meant I didn’t either, but I stayed after they drifted away because there was still information I might glean. He was happy to tell her all about Hadisen, but most of his talk was about its gold. There still seemed to be no indication that any of his supplies had been stolen by the traitors’ cause.
The most difficult part of the evening turned out to be avoiding Cornelius and Lavinia Chambers. They’d accepted my decision to wait to marry Rupert but never missed a chance to talk about their amazing family and lifestyle.
“We’re redoing the conservatory,” Lavinia bragged. “Gorgeous upholstery, straight from Lorandy. And I want to fill it with sculptures from all over the world. It’ll be our own little museum, with nothing else in Denham to match it.”
Cornelius nodded along eagerly, and I smiled appropriately, relieved when someone else finally called them away. A low, dull ache remained in my ankle, but it was vastly improved compared to what it had once been, and I was able to accept a few dances. But although my body caught every beat perfectly, my mind was far away. Grant sneaked into my thoughts a lot. I replayed much of what had happened in bed—before we started talking, at least—and although I still felt a thrill in remembering each part, its loss didn’t bother me nearly so much as the simple loss of Grant.
After breakfast the next morning, Aiana beckoned me over as I left the dining room. I stepped aside and waited for the Grashond visitors to move past me. They were staying on for a while but always dined separately.
“I have to take Adelaide into the city to help outfit her for Hadisen,” Aiana told me. “Do you want to come along? Tamsin is. You’ve all got the afternoon free.”
“Sure,” I said glumly.
She cocked her head and eyed me. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be overjoyed to have Tamsin back.”
“I am, I am. But . . .” I studied her face for any indication that she might know what had happened the night of the Flower Fest. She and Grant were close . . . but how close? He didn’t seem like the confiding type. “Have you talked to Grant recently?”
“No, why?”
“We . . . well, I’m not working for him anymore. I’ve really been cut off. Silas never thought it was a good idea.”
Her voice grew compassionate. “Neither did I. I know you liked the adventure of it all, but this is for the best. Look, when we find some time, I’ll teach you the Balanquan crossbow. Maybe that’ll make your life feel a little more daring.”
“That’s nice of you,” I said automatically. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever have reason to attack with a ranged weapon.”
“We attack however we need to,” she returned. “Now. Let’s gather the others and go into town. We’re actually going to Grant’s store.”
I tried not to gasp. There were a number of supply stores in town, but of course, Aiana would only go to one place to buy frontier apparel and supplies. And even though Grant had wreaked such havoc with my life, a traitorous part of me wanted to catch a glimpse of him. When combined with an outing among my best friends, the day suddenly became more interesting.
I’d actually never been inside Winslow & Elliott. Shelves and hooks held all sorts of supplies, everything from heavy mining and farming equipment to racks of apparel to horse and wagon gear. Grant worked behind the counter, assisting the store’s many customers, but never so much as glanced at me. He was perfectly aware of our entrance, though, and even offered Aiana a brief hello in Balanquan. Tamsin and Adelaide got nods of greeting too. But not me. My elevated mood plummeted.
“Hey, remember Grant Elliott from the ship?” Adelaide whispered to me. “He’s working here.”
“Who?”
I moved as far away from him as I could and feigned great interest in browsing hardy textiles. Tamsin looked with me until Grant was ready to help Adelaide. I stayed where I was and tried in vain to ignore them as they spoke across the room. He sounded so pleasant in his helpful shopkeeper role, and it bothered me that I couldn’t tell if our fight truly
hadn’t fazed him or if he was just concealing his feelings with another mask.
When we walked out of the store, Aiana slipped me a small piece of paper while Adelaide and Tamsin chatted. “What’s this?”
“Grant gave it to me at the store.” She shook her head, clearly displeased. “Maybe you aren’t cut out after all.”
I clutched it in my hand until we got home, my heart beating furiously the whole time. A note for me. A note from Grant. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how desperately I needed something to fill that chasm between us. Maybe even to bridge it. What did he have to say to me? Was he really just following up on some leftover part of the case? Or was he trying to make peace? Hope began to blossom within me.
I finally unfolded the paper in my room, sitting on my bed and hiding it behind a book so that Tamsin and Adelaide wouldn’t notice. My fragile hope nearly crumbled when I saw it wasn’t Grant’s writing until I realized—
It was Lonzo’s.
CHAPTER 25
I FRANTICALLY SPREAD THE PAPER OPEN ON THE PAGES OF THE book. Like me, Lonzo had used the old code of our father’s.
Mira,
You have no idea how happy I am to hear that you’re safe and sound on this side of the ocean. I’ve worried night after night about you in the slums of Osfro, and now I found out you’ll be the lady of a rich household! I admit, it’s hard for me to imagine you settling down as a demure wife. Something tells me you won’t actually be all that demure, though, so I hope you’ve chosen a man who appreciates your wild nature. And please don’t waste his money on me. I have sixty gold left on my bond, and I’ll pay it off myself in a year. I’ve volunteered with a crew that’s working on levees and drainage in some of the swampier lands. It’s dangerous work, but the money is good and far more than I’d make doing common plantation labor. I’m one of the strongest men here, and that’s what they need. Keep writing to me about your new life, and I’ll come to you once I’m free.