Roth was all serious at this point. “The incantation has these stages, like most spells do. We know they involve spilling the blood of a child of Lilith’s, and the—well, the dead blood of Lilith herself. There’s more—a third or fourth thing, but we don’t know for sure. Whatever those things are, if they’re all completed, then the Lilin will be born again upon Earth.”
My hands fell to my lap. Several moments passed. “And the child. That’s me? There’s no one else?”
He nodded again. “And the whole spilling-of-the-blood thing—well, not to be a downer, but since the Boss doesn’t know if it means a pinprick of your blood or your death, he’s not willing to risk it.”
“Gee. Tell him thanks.”
A smirk graced his lips. “The dead blood...” Leaning over, his agile fingers skipped along my wrist, eliciting a shiver in its wake. He worked my hand open, and the odd ruby-colored ring was exposed. “This stone isn’t a gemstone. It contains the dead blood of Lilith.”
“What? Ew! How do you know?”
“Because Lilith used to wear this ring, and only the child of Lilith can carry her blood without experiencing some seriously ill effects,’” he said, gently closing my fingers around the ring. “So we know where two of the things are, but the rest...it’s in the Key.”
“And where is the Key?”
“Good question.” Roth leaned back, closing his eyes. “Don’t know. And the Boss doesn’t know what the third and fourth things are, but he’s concerned that other demons—Dukes and Princes—may since Lilith was chummy with several of them. Getting out of Hell and having you was on purpose, her last big ‘eff you’ to the Heavens and Hell.”
Wow. That did wonders for a girl’s self-esteem.
“I don’t get it,” I said, curling my hands inward until my nails pressed into the flesh of my palm. “The Lilin are...they are insane and crazy scary, but wouldn’t your Boss want that? It would be Hell on Earth basically.”
Roth choked out a laugh. “No one wins in this case. When humans are stripped of their souls, they waste away and turn into wraiths. They don’t go to Heaven or Hell. And the Boss knows he can’t control the Lilin. He could barely control Lilith.” Roth’s beautiful lips twisted in a wry grin. “And trust me, you haven’t witnessed a pissing contest yet if you haven’t seen Lilith and the Boss go toe-to-toe.”
I tried to wrap my head around this. “So...?”
“The last thing that Hell wants is for the Lilin to be running amok on Earth.” He tapped his fingers on his knee, brows knitted. “And so here I am, making sure your blood doesn’t spill and neither does the blood in the ring while trying to figure out what the other stuff is before that happens. Oh, and there’s the whole issue of trying to discover exactly who wants the Lilin to be reborn. I’m a busy demon.”
My mouth worked, but no words came out. We sat there for several minutes, the only noise the soft tapping of his fingers and the cars below. Mind. Blown. My mother was the Lilith. I was too tired to deny the truth to that. Mommy dearest apparently conceived me as a way to give everyone the middle finger. Blood spilling didn’t sound fun, no matter which way you looked at it.
“Why now?” I asked.
“It’s the timing of your birth. Supposedly the incantation can only work after you turn seventeen.” He paused. “The Boss wasn’t sure if Lilith had been successful in the sense that you...”
I stared at him, horrified when I realized what he was getting at. “That I wasn’t killed once...” I swallowed, thinking of what Petr had said. “Once the Wardens found me?”
Roth nodded. “No one knew where Lilith had gone or where you’d been born. The world’s a pretty big place. I’d found you before, but your birthday was still far off. When the Boss knew we were months away from your birthday, he sent me up again to see if you were still...uh, well, yeah.”
“Alive,” I whispered.
He plowed on. “When I reported back, the Boss ordered me to keep an eye on you. See, the Boss and the demons that Lilith hung with aren’t the only ones who’ve heard of the incantation. Others have, as well, and they see you as a risk. They know the Alphas will obliterate every demon topside if the Lilin are reborn. They want to take you out—the Seeker, the zombie and the possessed human.”
“So some demons may want me to raise the Lilin and others want to kill me because—” And it struck me then, with the force of a cement brick. Ice froze my veins just as a hot rush of betrayal swept through me like a rising tide. “Abbot has to know this.”
Roth said nothing.
I swallowed, but the lump in my throat refused to budge. “He must have known this whole entire time. I mean, there’s no way. The Alphas...and that’s why Petr tried to kill me. It’s probably why he and his father have always hated me, because of what I’m linked to.”
In the looming silence, tears burned my eyes. I clenched my fists until my knuckles ached, refusing to let them fall. At no point had Abbot believed that I deserved to know the truth about what I was, what I could become a part of. And if Zayne knew, I didn’t think I could ever get over that.
“Layla...”
Roth said my name so softly that I had to look at him, and when I did, our gazes locked. Part of me wondered at that very moment what he saw when he looked at me like that—like he wasn’t exactly sure what I was or what he was really even doing here. And this had to be confusing for him. He was a demon, after all. I also wondered why I even cared, but the last thing I wanted to be seen as was a girl on the verge of tears. Which I was.
Sucking in a shrill breath, I eased my fingers open, and the ring bounced around my loose fist. Because I had no other place to put it, I slipped it onto my right ring finger. Part of me expected the action to spark Armageddon, but nothing happened. Not even a weird sensation or a shiver.
How anticlimactic.
Slowly but surely, my brain started to turn everything over. It probably took longer than necessary, but I was proud to know that my eyes were dry even though my throat felt raw. “We need to find that Key.”
“We do. Knowing what’s needed in the incantation gives us a fighting chance. I have some leads.” He paused, and I could feel his stare on me again. “You can’t tell the Wardens about any of this.”
I barked out a short laugh. “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to go home. Once they find out what I did to Petr—”
“They will never know.” Roth caught the edge of my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were a furious shade of amber. “Because you will not tell them what really happened.”
“But—”
“You will tell them part of the truth,” he said. “Petr attacked you. You defended yourself, but it was me who killed him. You will not mention taking his soul.”
Stunned, I stared at him. “But they’ll come after you.”
Roth chuckled deeply. “Let them try.”
I pulled away and stood, unable to sit any longer. Smoothing my hands over what I was sure was a tangled mess of hair, I started to pace between a potted apple tree and something that resembled a lilac bush that hadn’t bloomed. “I’m not telling the Wardens that you killed Petr.”
His lips slipped into a scowl. “I can take care of myself. I’m rather hard to find when I don’t want to be and even harder to kill.”
“I get that, but no. I’ll tell them it was a demon, but not you. I’m not giving them your name.” Once those words left my tongue, my conviction was cemented.
Roth stared at me, obviously bewildered. “I know I’m telling you to lie about the whole soul thing, but that makes sense. They’d kill you. But you’re willing to lie about me? You do realize what that means?”
“Of course,” I snapped, tucking my hair back. Not telling them about Roth was a betrayal. It could even be seen as me taking sides, and if the Wardens ever found out that I knew who killed Petr and hid the truth, I was as good as dead.
“I think you like me,” Roth said suddenly.
I stopped pacing and my heart did a funny little jump. “What? No.”
He tilted his head to the side, his lips spreading into a teasing grin. “The way you lie to yourself is sort of cute.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Hmm...” He sat up, eyes glimmering with mirth. “You wanted me to kiss you earlier.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. “No. I did not.”
“You’re right. You wanted me to do much, much more.”
Now that heat was spreading elsewhere. “You’re insane. I don’t want that—you.” The words sounded lame to my own ears. “You saved my life. Sending the Wardens after you isn’t a way to repay that.” There. That sounded better.
Roth chuckled. “Okay.”
“Don’t ‘okay’ me.” I took a deep breath.
“Okay.”
I shot him a glare.
“What?” he said innocently. Then he got all serious-faced again. “What are you going to do?”
Glancing up at the overcast sky, I shook my head. Besides the obvious, which was finding out where the Key was and staying away from the demon who wanted to use me as part of a bizarre incantation, I assumed he meant with the home situation.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted, my voice a tiny whisper. “I can’t hide from them forever. And as long as they don’t know about the soul thing, I should be okay. Zayne—”
“Zayne?” Roth was frowning again. “The big, blond oaf?”
“I don’t think he can be categorized as an oaf,” I said drily. “How do you— Never mind. Watching me. Got it.”
“You can’t trust them. You may be close with Stony and crew, but they have to know what you are. You’re not safe there.” He ran the tips of his fingers along the cushion beside him, drawing my attention. Hadn’t he touched me like that last night? I shivered and looked away. “If you go home, Layla, you’re going to have to pretend you don’t know any different.”
“I can’t believe it,” I said, and when he sent me a look, I shook my head. “Zayne—he couldn’t have known. He...”
“He’s a Warden, Layla. His loyalty—”
“No. You don’t understand. I’m not naive or stupid, but I know Zayne wouldn’t have kept something like this from me.”
“Why? Because you care for him?”
I was about to ask how he knew that, but then I remembered Bambi had been chilling about the tree house. “Of course I care about Zayne. He’s the only one who’s ever really known me. I can be myself around him and...” I trailed off, because the falsity of what I was saying sank in. I really couldn’t be what I truly was with Zayne, either. “Anyway, he would’ve told me the truth.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Because he cares about you, too?”
“He does, but not in the way I’m sure you’re insinuating.”
“Actually, he does like you.” When I frowned, he laughed. “And I do mean like you, like you.”
I scoffed. “How would you know? You—”
“Don’t know Stony? You’re right, but you forget that I did watch you for some time. I’ve seen you around him, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Sure, a relationship between you two is as hopeless as the debt problem facing—”
“Jeez, okay. I know that.” I sighed.
“But it doesn’t stop someone from wanting another person they can never have.” His gaze turned acute. “Even if Stony doesn’t know the truth, and you trust him with your life and blah, blah, you can’t tell him anything.”
A big, heavy ball of dread settled in my stomach.
“Layla?”
I nodded. “I’m not going to tell them.”
“Good,” he said, standing. He smiled, but I couldn’t bring myself to return the gesture. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just sealed my fate.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Leaving Roth’s loft hadn’t been easy. For a second or two, I didn’t think he was going to let me go. He hadn’t voiced any direct opposition to me going home, but I could tell he wasn’t a big fan of the idea. But if I stayed with him it would only be a matter of time before the Wardens found me.
They’d kill Roth, and even though I had no idea how I felt about him, I didn’t want him to die.
Roth wanted to take me as close to home as he could get me, but I wasn’t ready to go there. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go, but I needed to be alone. He’d followed me outside his loft and I discovered we were in one of the new skyrises outside the Palisades. Along the Potomac River, it was one of the wealthiest sections in D.C.
I guessed being a demon paid well.
I started walking and I didn’t stop or look behind me to see if Roth followed. I knew I wouldn’t see him, but I also knew he was there. And as I walked, my brain replayed everything over until my stomach churned relentlessly. Coffee may not have been a great idea.
Two hours later, I sat down on one of the benches outside the Smithsonian Institution. Even in the early-morning hours, the great lawn was full of runners and tourists. The first few people to pass me by cast worried looks in my direction. With my busted face and borrowed clothing, I probably looked like a poster child for what happens when kids run away.
I kept my chin down, letting my hair shield most of my face, and no one approached me. Perfect. It was a cold morning and I hunkered down in Roth’s shirt, weary to the soul. In a matter of hours, everything had changed. My thoughts were scattered; my entire world felt broken. Roth had probably been amazed that I hadn’t freaked out after he’d told me everything, but now I was knee-deep in freak-out mode.
How were we supposed to find an ancient book when no one knew where it was? How could I stay safe from a demon when no one knew who that demon was? And better yet, how could I ever go home?
Going home was the plan. That was why I’d left Roth’s loft. Well, it wasn’t the only reason. I needed space from him, too, because things were different between us. Like a bargain had been struck—a deal. But it was more than that. Whatever had sprung up between us this morning still made me feel like I was coming out of my skin, and Roth had been right. I had wanted him to kiss me.
God, I couldn’t think about that right now.
What I wanted to do was rage. I wanted to throw something—kick someone, namely Abbot—and break something valuable. Lots of valuable things. I wanted to stand on the bench and scream until my voice gave out. Anger roared through me like a rabid dog and I wanted to unleash it, but under that fury, something bitter and dank stirred. There was more to the twisting in my stomach than just the bundle of nerves. I knew what would be coming in a matter of hours. I needed something sweet, like juice, but that would require money.
Within a couple of hours, a deep ache would settle in my bones. My skin would feel icy, but my insides would catch fire. As twisted as it sounded, I welcomed the sickness that came after tasting a soul. It was a rough form of punishment, but one I deserved.
I inhaled the brisk morning air and closed my eyes. I couldn’t afford to break down. What could happen was bigger than my feelings of betrayal or anger. If this demon succeeded, the apocalypse would seem like a sweet-sixteen party in comparison. I needed to be strong—stronger than what could be gained from rigorous workouts.
The low rumble of a finely tuned engine forced my eyes open. Strange that in a bustling city with the low hum of chatter, drone of passing cars and blaring horns, I’d recognize the sound of Zayne’s 1969 Chevy Impala anywhere.
I peeked through a sheet of whitish-blond hair just as Zayne climbed out of the driver’s seat. The aura around him was so pure it looked like a halo. He slammed the door shut and turned, his gaze immediately finding the bench I sat on.
My breath whooshed out like I’d been sucker punched. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind as Zayne rounded the Impala. He came to a complete stop when he saw me, his body going rigid, and then he started forward again, his pace picking up until he broke out in a dead run.
Zayne was beside the bench in an instant, uncaring of all the eyes on us, and then his arms were around me, squeezing so tight that I bit down on my lip to keep the squeak of pain from coming out.
“Oh, my God,” he said, his voice hoarse in my ear. “I can’t...” A fine tremor coursed through his large body, and his hand pressed against my back, then slid up, burying deep in my hair.
Over Zayne’s shoulder, I finally saw Roth. He was near one of the bare cherry-blossom trees, just standing there. Our eyes met for a brief moment, and then he turned around, crossing the lawn and heading east on the sidewalk, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. For Zayne not to have sensed the demon’s presence was a testament to his state, and I hated that he’d been that worried.
A strange urge hit me then. I wanted to go after Roth, but that didn’t make any sense. I knew he’d been watching me and that was all he was doing, but...
Zayne tugged me closer, tucking me into the crook of his neck, and he held on. Slowly, I lifted my arms, placed my hands on his back and fisted his shirt. Another shudder rocked his body. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It could’ve been seconds or minutes, but his warmth eased some of the chill, and for a moment, I could pretend that this was a week ago and this was Zayne—my Zayne—and everything was going to be okay.